To My Soul Mate
I wish that I could tell you how I feel.
Tell you what’s been in my heart for years.
Tell you how I fall asleep each night with you on my mind.
Tell you how patiently I’ve waited for the day when you will be all mines.
I look at you and somehow I believe that you feel the same way too.
It doesn’t only show in the things that you say but more so in the things that you do.
Like how you always come to my rescue.
Even if it means catching a charge. Yeah, you’d do that too.
You’re my knight in shining armor.
With me and you it will always be death before dishonor.
A bond that will forever remain unbreakable.
Though I’m with him and you with her we both know there’s no denying what’s obviously out of our control.
King sat staring down at the notebook in shock. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the poem was about him but seeing it in writing and the words that she’d chosen to express her feelings was indescribable. He looked over at Breezy, who was still giggling like a damn airhead at Montez and totally oblivious to the fact that he’d just read her poem. He slid the notebook back to where it previously sat and said, “Nice poem.”
That got her attention. “Huh?” She looked at the notebook and then back at King. Her heart fell to her stomach at the realization of what he’d just said. “Hold on, Tez,” she said covering the phone and looking at King through squinted eyes. “King, did you read my poem?”
“Yes, I did and it was really sweet.” He laughed while putting his bowl in the sink and then walked out of the kitchen feeling himself.
Breezy hurriedly picked up the phone and told Montez she’d see him when he arrived to pick her up for work. She didn’t know how to feel about King reading her poem; there was a mixture of emotions flowing through her at that moment. She was upset because he’d read her personal thoughts and feelings without her permission and embarrassed because she wasn’t sure of how he’d taken it. Seeing him laugh made her feel as if he’d taken her feelings as a joke; that hurt and made her feel silly. She stomped down the hall to King’s room, pushed his door open and walked in. He was in the middle of changing his clothes for work and had already taken off his shirt.
“Why did you read what was in my notebook?” Breezy asked with her hands on her hips.
King laughed because it was funny to him how she was trying to act like she was so upset. He’d already heard her say she loved him in her sleep a couple of months ago. He decided to mess with her. “Breezy, what’s the big deal? Why does it matter if I read it or not?”
“Because you shouldn’t be reading my stuff!” she snapped.
He realized that she really was upset but what he couldn’t understand was why. If that was truly how she felt he couldn’t understand what the big deal was. “Damn are you seriously mad?”
“Yes, I am because you have no right reading my stuff!”
“Stop trippin’. I’ve read your stuff before and you ain’t trip like that.” He continued to laugh. “You’re only trippin’ because you’re afraid that I will guess who it is about and your secret obsession will be out in the open.”
“Obsession?” Breezy asked offended by his choice of words and the fact that he was still laughing like her feelings were a joke. “Boy, bye. There is nothing to guess about; that poem is about Montez. Remember him? My boyfriend! So please tell me where the obsession comes in at when I’ve already bagged that?”
It was King’s turn to catch an attitude. “That bitch-ass nigga ain’t gone catch no fucking charge for you! Get real! And besides that, if I remember correctly the poem said, ‘Though I’m with him and you with her, we both know there’s no denying what’s obviously out of our control.’ Like you just said, you’ve already bagged that so that wouldn’t make sense. The entire thing doesn’t make sense if it’s to him.”
“How do you know what he will and won’t do? He would catch a charge for me.” Breezy defended her man, purposely ignoring the last part of what he’d said because she didn’t have an explanation. “And why are you so worried about who it’s to? You act like you are jealous!”
Her last statement had been a blow to his pride. “Bit . . . Breezy, get the fuck out of my room!” he roared, trying to catch himself because he knew that he was about to say something he may regret later. “King Collins isn’t jealous of any nigga walking, believe that. I been fuckin’ bad bitches and can get more bitches than Montez lame ass will ever get in his lifetime. Please. I’m supposed to be jealous because he’s fucking with you? Are you serious? We are talking about the same nigga who didn’t even know your ass existed until just recently! I was the only nigga who was kickin it with you when your hair was nappy and your gear was all fucked up! Don’t let a perm and some weave blow yo’ fuckin head up!”
The look that covered her face reflected the hurt but he didn’t care because he felt like she shouldn’t have come out of her mouth like that, accusing him of being jealous of Montez.
“You know what? Forget you, King. And for the record you been fuckin’ nasty bitches! FYI Vita ain’t the definition of bad because she got a fat ass and she will open her legs for any nigga who buys her ho ass a ninety-nine cent hamburger. A bad bitch don’t need no nigga to do for them because they will do for themselves. Every time I turn around she begging you to get her nails done or her hair done and in return she lying on her back. Not to mention her thirsty ass lied so that she could baby-trap you. A bad bitch don’t do shit like that because they don’t have to. It seems more like she’s a needy, insecure bitch.”
“Man, whatever.” He smacked his lips, waving her off.
She wasn’t done yet though. “And, another thing, Montez may not have noticed me before but at least I ain’t gotta lie on my back and trick off my pussy to keep him and to get him to do shit for me.” She waved her wrist and showed off the gold bracelet that Montez had given her for their one month anniversary. “And no, I still haven’t slept with him. I don’t know what your definition of a bad bitch is but, hmmm, if you ask me I am way more deserving of that title than that trick you dealing with! Look at the things I have been through and the way that I have refused to allow those things to keep me down! I don’t need you to throw in my face what I used to be or what I used to look like because, trust me, I haven’t forgotten. The fact that I haven’t forgotten is what motivates me every day to continue to strive to become better and not go back to that.”
“Breezy, if you don’t take your ass down the hall and out of my face, you are going to be wearing that cheap-ass bracelet around your neck.”
“Whatever!” She stormed out of his room, slamming the door behind her.
King stood in the middle of his floor after she’d walked out, confused as to how things had taken such a messed-up turn just because he’d read a poem in her notebook. She could lie all she wanted but he knew in his heart that poem was for him.
No sooner had Breezy walked into the living room than the doorbell rang. She walked over and answered the door. When she opened it Vita was standing on the other side. “Hey.”
Vita looked Breezy up and down and then tried to brush past her to walk in but Breezy blocked her.
“Ummm, excuse you, rudeness, but you don’t just be busting up in people’s house. Not only that but is something wrong with your mouth?”
Vita smacked her lips and held her hand up in Breezy’s face. “Girl, please! You better move the hell outta my way!” She tried brushing past Breezy again and again she blocked her.
“I said you don’t be—”
The palm of Vita’s right hand connected with the right side of Breezy’s face as she smacked her.
Without hesitation Breezy drew back and returned the favor. From there the two of them went at it.
King came running from the back. He couldn’t believe what his eyes were seeing. Breezy and Vita were on
the living room floor going at it. Vita was on top of Breezy so he snatched her up. “Both of y’all chill the fuck out!” he shouted at them both.
Just as he got that out of his mouth Annette came through the door. She looked from Breezy to Vita and then at King standing in between them. “What the hell is going on? Are y’all fighting in my house?”
“Yes, ma’am, and I apologize but she ain’t got no respect. She just gone bust up in here like her name is on the lease or something. I told her when you come to the door, you speak and ask for somebody or something. You just don’t brush past me with your nasty attitude and walk on through the house! Then she gon’ slap me!” Breezy rattled off without taking a breath.
“Vita, do you have anything to say? It’s two sides to every story.” Even though Annette was playing it cool she looked like she was about to explode at any second.
Vita began being extra animated, waving her arms and popping her mouth as she told her side of the story. “Ms. Annette, she’s right I didn’t speak to her but I don’t like her so why be fake and grin all up in her face? She knew that I was here to see King so why make a big deal about it like she pay bills or something up in here! This ain’t her house! This is your house!” She clapped her hands together with each word. “She is lucky that King broke it up when he did because I was about to choke her ass out! These little broads gon’ get enough of running up on me like I am to be played with or something! They better stop letting the cute face fool them.”
Breezy rolled her eyes.
“Are you both finished?” Annette asked becoming more annoyed after listening to Vita’s side of the story. Both girls nodded their heads. “Okay, first of all, Vita, chill out with all that extra mess that you are doing because I am home now and there will be no more fighting in my house. Number one, I don’t appreciate y’all fighting in my house because it’s very disrespectful. Number two, Vita, whether or not Breezy pays bills here is irrelevant. She lives here so she is at home and you should respect her like this is her home. If she came to your house she should give you that same respect. Number three, you are pregnant with my grandchild and so that means that you will be around for a very long time. Which also means that even if you don’t like Breezy, you are going to have to deal with her because she ain’t going nowhere. She’s family. If you don’t mind me asking, why don’t you like her?”
“I don’t like her because her helpless used and abused ass was the cause of King getting locked up. He is always feeling sorry for her, why I don’t know.” She rolled her eyes at Breezy.
“You are pathetic and insecure. That is why you don’t like me,” Breezy spat. “You feel threatened by me. It’s funny how you are supposed to be such a bad chick but at the same time is threatened by little nappy-headed, dirty, no-clothes-having Breezy. I guess y’all shook because I ain’t the underdog no more. Y’all chicks see me climbing that ladder and realize that it’s only a matter of time before I reach the top. Gotcha shook, don’t I?” She laughed while winking at Vita, further pissing her off. “That just goes to show that a fat ass and a hot coochie will only get you but so far!”
She turned her attention to Annette because she truly felt bad about disrespecting her home. Especially since she’d been good enough to give her a place to stay. “I apologize for the disrespect. I never want to disrespect you in any way because you have been more than good to me, better than my own mama; but there was no way I was going to allow her to put her hands in my face and not defend myself. I have been beat on, walked over, and disrespected enough to last a lifetime. I can’t live like that anymore. People will treat me like I treat them or I guess I will go through the rest of my life fighting. I was a victim but not anymore.”
Annette looked at Breezy through proud eyes. Words couldn’t express how she felt to hear the strength that she now possessed. Breezy had come a long way and all she could see was her growing even stronger as time passed. “No need for apologies, baby. I can’t tell you how good it felt sitting here listening to you. You are becoming such a beautiful woman inside and out.” She looked at Vita. “Vita, I’m not taking sides but it is what it is. You were wrong. Breezy didn’t make King do anything. They have been friends forever and he has always been very protective over her and I doubt that will ever change. The decision that he made to do what he did to Terry was his choice. I thank God that Terry had the charges dropped, probably because he knew that the truth would come out about his sorry butt. Anyways let this be the end of this mess, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am.” Vita didn’t look happy at all but she didn’t say anything else.
That night at work, Breezy couldn’t stop thinking about the argument that she and King had earlier that day. She felt bad because she hated it when the two of them argued. Everyone at work noticed her sad and gloomy mood as well. They kept asking her all evening what was wrong but she kept lying and telling them nothing. She was glad when she finally made it back home. The first thing she noticed when she got there was that King’s car wasn’t parked in front of the apartment in its usual spot. Normally Montez would come in for a few minutes when he dropped her off but tonight he told her he didn’t feel like it and she was glad because she didn’t feel like entertaining company. All she wanted to do was take a bath and lie down.
After taking a shower, she went in King’s room and got in bed. She was so tired that she fell asleep as soon as her head touched the pillow. King came in at around 2:00 a.m., waking her by slamming drawers and moving around the room.
He had a lot on his mind as he moved about searching for a change of clothes. He too had been thinking about their argument the entire afternoon and the fight between her and Vita. He felt like he was caught between a rock and a hard place, dealing with his feelings for her and Vita’s pregnancy. He turned on the lamp and that woke her completely up.
Breezy sat up and looked at the clock. Is he serious? she thought, lying back down and putting the pillow over her head. She heard him turn the lamp back off and was happy so that she could she could try to go back to sleep. Next thing she knew, the pillow was being snatched from over her head.
“Wake up; we need to talk,” King said, lying next to her.
“Why can’t we talk in the morning?” she whined sleepily as she fixed her scarf on her head and attempted to turn back over.
King grabbed her shoulder and flipped her back over. “Stop playing, Breezy, before my mama wakes up and starts tripping because I am in here with you at this time of the morning with the lights off. You know how her mind works.”
“Well then go into the living room and we can talk in the morning.”
“I heard you tell me that you loved me in your sleep two months ago,” he blurted knowing that would get her up and he was right.
Her eyes popped open. “Huh?”
“Breezy, before you deny it, I don’t feel like dealing with the games tonight. Just keep it one hundred, please.” She didn’t say anything so he continued. “You were asleep and when I walked in, I heard you say ‘King, I love you too.’ What was that about?”
She propped her head up on her hand. “I don’t know. I was asleep so I don’t know why I said it.”
“Okay, fair enough, but what about the poem?”
She let out a sigh. “What about it?”
“You know what I am asking and you also know that I know it wasn’t about Montez. Is that really how you feel? Like I’m your soul mate?” There was light coming in through the blinds from the streetlights. He looked at her and waited for a reply. Her eyes dropped to the bed as she fidgeted with the edge of the pillowcase.
“Honestly, yeah,” she admitted as she lifted her eyes in time to see a smile spread over his lips. Butterflies filled her stomach. Her nerves got the best of her and she lay back on the bed, covering her face with the pillow.
“Why are you covering your face?” He laughed at her shyness.
“Because . . .” she answered from beneath the pillow.
“Because what?”
She didn’t respond. After a few seconds, she felt him tugging at the pillow. She let go of it but didn’t bother opening her eyes until she felt his lips cover hers. They sent electricity throughout her entire body. She’d kissed Montez a lot and it had never felt like that. Her hands unconsciously went up around his neck and they kissed like two long-lost lovers. His hand found her thigh and began caressing it. Her lips were like two soft pillows. He’d never experienced anything like the kiss that they were sharing. It took every ounce of strength within them both to pull back.
King didn’t move for over a minute. He just lay there staring at her.
“What are you thinking about?” Breezy asked, beginning to feel uncomfortable under his gaze.
He reached over and took her hand, placing it up to his lips. He kissed it and then held on to it. “I’m just thinking of how I’ve made such a huge mistake.”
“What do you mean?”
“Pops told me awhile ago to be careful with Vita but I didn’t listen. He also told me about these feelings that I have for you and I denied them, knowing all the while that he was right and that I truly do love you.” Breezy blushed as she listened to him confess his love for her. “Now, I’ve gotten her pregnant . . .” He paused and then got up grabbing the other pillow. “Good night.”
“You’re going to bed?” she asked confused, thinking that they weren’t finished talking.
“Yeah, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” With that he left the room.
After he was gone she couldn’t get to sleep so she lay awake staring up at the ceiling thinking about what had just happened. She felt more confused now than she had been before he’d told her how he felt. At the same time she felt bad because Montez deserved a girl who cared about him and only him, not someone who was in love with her best friend and only using him as a fill-in.
Around the Way Girls 9 Page 20