by Pamela Aares
“I know that.”
“Do you? I’m not so sure.”
Without hesitation, he told her about Scarlett Lee. Before he was half finished, one of her hands was laced tightly with his.
“And then when you asked what you did—and after sex—and then that tabloid came out, it felt like Scarlett Lee all over again.”
“Some scars run so deep, I wonder if they’ll ever heal,” she said.
“You healed that one, Cam. You. You healed me. It just took me a while to figure it out.” He brushed a curl away from her cheek. “And you are making a difference. Stories make the world a better place, a more livable place. We live and die by stories. I see that. And I see you, Cameron. You bring stories to life.”
She raised her arms and circled his neck. Her cast weighed heavy on his shoulder as she tapped her lips to his. Her kiss was sweet, light. He’d never known there could be so many kinds of kisses. He wanted to taste every one of hers. Tracing the curve of her hips with his palms, he tightened his hold and tried to draw her closer, but she pulled away
“And you change those kids’ lives in Dominia, Jake. They have new stories, bigger stories to live in. And I get the power of a dream, the importance. You’re right—kids have to dream. There’s power in dreams. Life in dreams.” She smiled. “There’s hope in dreams.”
With a light touch, he slid his hands back to her rib cage. His thumbs brushed the undersides of her breasts, and immediately his erection sprang to life. But before he gave in to making love again, there were things he needed to know. Questions that required answers that no parlor game would lead to. And there were things he had to say, needed to say. He could only hope he could find the words.
“Not just kids. We need dreams too.” He took in a breath. Fought down his urge to stop talking and just kiss her. He locked his eyes on hers. “You’re the dream I didn’t know I longed for. I let fear rule me. I was afraid of being trapped; now I see I was imprisoning myself. For too long I believed I was a fake, a fraud. I was hiding—needed to hide—from the scrappy kid from the wrong side of the tracks that I felt I was. I set all these limitations to protect myself, to protect that kid. Set them up for everything and against everyone. Against everything except baseball.”
“You earned your way.”
He put a finger to her lips. She nipped at it.
“Shhh... What I didn’t see is that I’d set a trap, a safety trap. But it was the worst sort of prison. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness should be reversed—liberty should come first. Freedom makes true happiness possible. You showed me what it was like for a person to be afraid and yet step up anyway. And you know what’s amazing?”
She drew her brows together and shook her head.
Stunned that he could find words for his feelings, he added, “When I look back, I don’t even see the wall I thought was there. It’s like I got to the other side and found there was no other side. I’m just here, in a new place, with a new horizon, and the fears are just old memories with little power.”
“Does this mean you’ll stop hiding your good deeds?”
“What are you talking about?”
“The money for the project in Dominia.”
He shook his head.
“I know, Jake. It didn’t take much to figure out who sent it. Wire transfers are traceable, you know. And besides, Coco told me.”
He couldn’t help but smile. “No secret is safe in this castle. And certainly not around Coco. But seriously, I’d prefer to keep those kinds of gifts quiet. I’m not giving up all boundaries.”
“Your secrets are safe with me.”
He traced his finger along her lips, and her shiver made his erection throb. “I know that.”
“It’s ironic, isn’t it?” she said. “I was using visibility, piling on responsibilities, to make myself feel better, to run from my fear that I was a narcissist like my mom, that I was shallow. Hollywood can do that to a person, you know. But the work for UNICAN, that experience, changed me. I was hiding in plain sight. From myself.”
“Welcome to the visible world, Cameron.” He stroked his hands along the creamy skin of her throat and leaned in to kiss her. “Let’s explore a few of those secrets I’ve yet to uncover.”
She put her cast between them. “What about Dylan, Jake?”
He sat back, his stomach tensed as he drew his thoughts together. He’d planned to tell her earlier. He hadn’t planned on being completely distracted and derailed by passion. He’d hoped, sure. But he hadn’t planned on it.
“My parents are too old to raise a young boy. And my sister would be a disaster. So that leaves me.” He swallowed. He’d rehearsed his words, but they didn’t come out smoothly. He could only hope he’d make some sort of sense. “I’ve decided that a good nanny and I would be better for him than any alternative I could come up with. Plus, Alex and Jackie said they’d help, at least until their baby is born. And my parents will help, of course. Alana and Matt offered as well. You helped me to see that I can do this, be a dad to Dylan. I’m not saying I won’t make mistakes—loads of mistakes—but I’ll be the best dad I can.”
His throat suddenly felt dry. How long had he known he loved her—since the day she’d had the moxie to kidnap him? Since the day he’d first laid eyes on her? He’d fallen, and fallen deep. But she wanted a family, the whole works. He was not that. He couldn’t pretend he was, even if that meant giving her up. He wasn’t going to play on her feelings for him to get her to settle for less than what she dreamed of.
“I’ll help. I want to.”
Of course she’d offer. And she’d do it. But it was time for honesty. Time for bald, plain-spoken honesty. She deserved her dream.
“I told you that first day that baseball is my life right now. I thought hard, Cameron, but I can’t give it up. And you said you wanted a guy around, for kids and all those other wonderful reasons. I can’t be that kind of guy. I’ll be on the road. I’ll miss summers, graduations, and—”
“He’d have you. And I can help. We could make it work, give Dylan a family together. Be family for each other. I could take time off in your offseason, or take Dylan with me. Don’t lots of baseball couples make it work? I know plenty of film couples who do.”
She’d said we. Had she even noticed? And family? Was she saying what she seemed to be saying?
“Some do, some don’t,” he said, trying to temper his heart’s drive to insist on what it wanted, an insistence that muddled his good intentions.
She ran her fingertips along his shoulder and then cupped his cheek with her palm. “I love you, Jake. And yeah, I’m scared to death. I tried hard to talk myself out of loving you, but I couldn’t.”
He hadn’t dared to hope. Couldn’t even form the word. But she loved him. Impossible.
“I love your honor, your strength. I love your integrity, your dedication to friends and family and career.” Her cheeks went red, and she laughed. “And God knows I love your body.”
Jake raised a brow.
“And I’m pretty sure that you love me, even though you’re fighting to not say so.” She rubbed a finger over his bottom lip. “I’m reading the love in every action, every word you have said.” She smiled her real smile, the one that came from her soul. The one that always sent him reeling. “I’m reading the love in every roadblock you’re trying to fling in front of me.”
She could tell what he was doing? Man, he was in trouble.
“Cameron, it’s just—”
“I know what you’re doing, but you don’t have to protect me from myself. And you never have to protect me from you. I love you. I want to be with you, the you with all your responsibilities and obligations and dreams. The Jake of today and the Jake of tomorrow.” She leaned close. “I want you.”
Damn, the woman knew what she wanted. He let her love and the conviction behind it wash over him. Her words made him feel invincible. His mind finally agreed with his heart and his body and left him no choice but to say it all. Say it
not to sway her, but to share what he could no longer hold back.
“I do love you, Cameron. I have for weeks.” He cupped her face in his hands and gently kissed her smiling lips. Then he even more gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. “And I will for a lifetime.” He wanted to say forever, but figured he needed to work up to that. “But I warn you—I’m still flawed. I’ll be jealous of every costar you kiss.” He wasn’t ready to confess that he’d been jealous of Dimitri, a man she’d evidently had no interest in.
She jutted her chin out. “You’d better be.”
Her utter certainty had him willing to go all in. “So... truth or dare?”
She crossed her arm over her cast and mugged a smile. “We just shared the truth, so dare.”
He took a breath. And prepared for the greatest dare of his life.
“Marry me, Cameron.”
She leaned away from him. His heart racing, he hoped it wasn’t wariness he read in her body.
A strand of her hair fell over her shoulder. He brushed it back, watching the light dance in her eyes. No, it hadn’t been wariness. He’d managed to surprise her.
He had to say the words again, words that he’d once thought a trap but now knew were the way to freedom, to the horizon of his soul. He had to live in that light for the rest of his life. Nothing else would matter.
“I love you. I love the world the way you see it. I love the world when you’re nearby. I love your fervor and your commitment and your joy. I want to live every day of the rest of my life with you.”
“You’ve come a long way from a three-date limit to ‘marry me.’”
He backpedaled. “We could try it out first if you want, but I know real when I feel it.” He tapped on her cast. “I’ve never had the real, not with a woman. But I don’t need to wait for some cosmic confirmation. I know what this kind of love means.”
“Me too.”
“So? You’re killing me here, Cameron.”
“Okay, I dare. I’ll marry you. I believe in the power of love.”
“You sure you’re not under the spell cast by Dylan’s magic cape?”
She laughed. “That too. And maybe the influence of a few lucky stars.”
As he tumbled her back onto the bed, making sure to guard her arm, he gave thanks for every lucky star that had ever shined. And he planned to kiss her once for each one of them.
He also planned to be thankful all his life for whatever mysterious powers drove the universe and had brought him Cameron. Just as he planned to treasure her forever.
Moonlight spilled over them as he leaned in for the first of a lifetime of infinite kisses.
Epilogue
Jake’s heart was in his throat as he turned off onto the drive leading to the farmhouse and acreage he’d bought in Sonoma County. He might think the old farmhouse was perfect. But what if Cameron didn’t? His fingers tightened on the gearshift as her hand curved onto the back of his.
She wriggled her fingers between his. “Did I tell you how much I trust your judgment?”
“Mistake number one.” Jake relaxed his hand under hers and glanced in the rearview mirror. Dylan’s head rested against the seat belt strap and the window, his face soft with deep sleep. “He’s out.”
“Nothing like a fourteen-hour flight to level off excess energy. He was so excited about coming back with me and showing me your new place that he chattered nonstop for the first three hours of the flight. The movie and a meal and sheer exhaustion finally settled him down.”
“Our new place.”
She squeezed his hand. “Yes. Our new place. Your mother told me you’ve been out here working every moment you weren’t at the stadium.”
“I warn you, Cam, it’s not close to being pulled together. The architect hasn’t gotten the renovations approved by the county yet. Worse, the plumber found a major leak in the main water line yesterday. It’s why we have to bunk over at Alana and Matt’s until next week.”
“I’ve been living with a six-year-old in a film trailer—I can handle a plumbing problem.”
She had been wrapping a film shoot in New Zealand, so he’d had to settle for getting her thumbs-up from a distance. He’d sent her photos before he bought the property, but looking at photos online and getting a true feel for the place that would be your future home were two different things. If there hadn’t been other offers, he might’ve asked for a long escrow and waited. But property in the rural areas close to town was at a premium, and the other offers were all cash on the line. So he’d bought it outright for cash.
Cameron leaned over and brushed a kiss to Jake’s cheek, drawing him back from his thoughts.
“Dylan loved everything about going with you to New Zealand. I was nervous about yanking him from school, but his teacher was the one who said that since he wasn’t used to sitting at a desk, being on location and having a tutor might ease him into the idea of school.”
“He charmed everyone. Apparently a family trait.” The smile she laid on him laced straight to his belly.
“Compliments will get you a spot in the master bedroom. Maybe quicker than you might imagine.”
“Not quicker than I want,” she said.
Her words swam into him, their message making him happier than he’d felt since she’d left for New Zealand. Even the start of baseball season hadn’t taken his mind off Cameron. When he’d picked her and Dylan up at the airport—was it just two hours ago?—he’d had to fight not to lift her in his arms and never let her go. But Dylan needed love and attention too. Life as an instant parent was throwing him curveballs he’d have to judge carefully in order not to strike out.
Sunlight slanted through the valley oaks lining the sloping drive. Jake dodged a rut in the road he hadn’t yet had time to fill and pulled up in front of the farmhouse.
Cameron slid her hand away and put both her hands to her heart. “The photos didn’t do this place justice. It’s... It’s like a dream, Jake.”
She hugged him and then leaped out of the car and headed for the front porch steps.
The sound of the door woke Dylan. “Hey! I wanted to show her.”
“Better get on it, sport.”
Dylan scrambled from the car and ran to where Cameron stood on the steps staring up at the house. Jake let Dylan lead her in. While he wanted to see her reaction, he also knew these moments between Dylan and Cameron were important, formative. He needed them to feel like a team. Dylan had memorized every cranny of the house before Jake had put him on the plane to New Zealand—he’d be a fine guide.
The two-story main house had four big bedrooms and two baths upstairs. And Parker had told him that the huge kitchen and living room downstairs could easily be remodeled to make an open-plan great room. The two other odd-shaped but large rooms downstairs could be converted to office space, a media room and a downstairs bath. And to Dylan’s delight, out the back door of the kitchen there was room for a practice field just beyond the orchard and kitchen garden.
The spring-fed stream that ran through the oak grove leading to a small valley was a bonus. But the major boon had been the caretaker’s house that was now home to Jake’s parents. Far enough down the second drive to afford privacy, their house was close enough that Dylan could walk through the clustered oaks, cross the stone bridge spanning the small stream and be at his grandparents’ in less than five minutes.
Jake’s dad already had a job with a mechanic in nearby Petaluma, and his mother was happy to putter in the gardens, start the novel she’d been threatening to write for years and look after Dylan. If Jake didn’t watch her, she’d spoil his dog and Dylan beyond salvation.
Jake moved the car into the shade cast by an oak tree near the house. One of the upstairs windows flew open, and Dylan popped his head out.
“She likes my room!”
Cameron poked her head out beside Dylan’s and waved, a bright smile racing across her face. The tension Jake had carried since the day he’d signed the final papers dissolved in the beam of her happ
y smile. He had a home. They had a home. The woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with had agreed to marry him. It was almost more than he could believe.
The grind of tires on gravel had him turning to see Alana’s Jeep roar into view. Matt had barely turned off the motor before Sophie jumped out of the backseat.
“Where’s the swing?”
“Hi, Sophie.”
“Sophie! Manners,” Matt called as he walked around to hold Alana’s door for her.
“Right.” Sophie ran to Jake, and he lifted her in a hug. “Hi, Jake.” She glanced back at her dad and Alana. “Where’s Dylan? I can’t believe he got to cut out of school for almost a whole month.”
Cameron and Dylan came down the front steps of the farmhouse holding hands. He was chattering so fast that Jake doubted Cameron got one word in during the house tour.
“Where’s Tyler?” Dylan asked when he spied them.
Sophie crossed her arms. “You’re supposed to say hi to everybody first. My dad said so.”
“Hi, everybody,” Dylan said, putting his hands to his hips. “Where’s Tyler?”
“With his dad,” Sophie said. Jake heard the trace of melancholy in her tone. “But he only has to be down there for two days. We can still do the batting cage again next Saturday.” She looked to Matt and then to Jake. “Can’t we?”
“That’s the plan,” Jake said. Their cheers rolled straight to his heart. Making kids happy was one activity he hadn’t counted on ever getting to tackle. He glanced at Cameron. She too was a surprise he hadn’t imagined. The stories of love coming out of nowhere and rearranging a guy’s life? He believed them now.
Dylan looked to Jake. “Can we go explore?”
Jake looked to Matt. He tried not to make decisions when Sophie was involved. He had a pretty good idea what was right or wrong for boys, but little girls? His sister had been a tomboy. He had no idea what was best for little girls.
“Sure,” Matt said.
“Thank God for Sophie,” Jake said as the two kids ran off toward the oak grove. “She’s been a great friend for Dylan.”