by Annie Murray
Janet had gone deathly pale and was sitting at the table clutching herself in agony.
‘Oh . . .’ She gasped. ‘Oh Mummy, I’m so very sorry. There’s something I’m going to have to tell you.’
Ruby was so late for work that day that she did something she and Edie used to do when they were fourteen. She raced down to the Dingle, the little path down to the Cut by the wharf, and ran along the towpath by the canal’s pewter-coloured water. She wasn’t sure if it was really quicker but it always felt like a short cut. She might just make it to clock on in time! She was carrying two dry cobs in a bag for lunch. For a penny you could get a bowl of thick, delicious soup in the works dining-room and she and Edie used to have one together, usually after a swim.
Oh Ede, I don’t half miss you, she thought. But a smile appeared on her face at the news Edie had told her on Saturday. They’d gone out for a drink, she and Edie waiting at the beery table while Jack and Frank were at the bar. Edie put her lips to Ruby’s ear and whispered, ‘I’m expecting, Rube!’ Her heart-shaped face was glowing with happiness and even though Ruby felt a pang of jealousy, she couldn’t but be pleased for her. Edie beckoned Ruby close again. ‘I’m two weeks late and I’ve started feeling ever so peculiar, sick of a morning and that.’
‘Oh Edie!’ Ruby hugged her, brimming with excitement. ‘Fancy – already! Oh, I’m ever so happy for yer. Does Jack know?’
Edie shook her head, eyes dancing. ‘No, I’ll tell him when we get home tonight. I’m counting on you and Frank to make sure ’e doesn’t go off getting into his Sat’dy night mischief!’
The presence of Frank and Ruby kept Jack in order, keeping him out of the company of his rowdier drinking pals, and the two of them saw Edie and Jack to their front door.
‘Better not invite you in,’ Edie said. She gave Ruby’s arm an affectionate squeeze. She nodded towards Miss Smedley’s front room. ‘The old witch don’t like anyone enjoying theirselves!’
After all the ‘goodnights’, Ruby and Frank were left. Frank immediately put his arm round her shoulders and pulled her close. Ruby smiled with anticipation in the darkness.
‘This is the moment I’ve been waiting for,’ Frank breathed into her face. She could smell beer, hair cream, the hot breath of desire. They turned into a side street and he pulled her into his arms.
‘Wish I could see you better,’ he said. ‘I couldn’ t take my eyes off you all evening.’
Ruby’s large body shook with surprised laughter. ‘That’s the first time anyone’s ever said that, I can tell yer!’ She narrowed her eyes in the darkness, straining to make out Frank’s chiselled features. ‘Fatty’s the only thing I’ve ever got called!’
‘No.’ His hands moved down her arms, encompassed her hips. ‘Not fat. You’re a real woman, you are. I’ve always thought so. Like one of them big ships. Majestic.’
‘HMS Majestic.’ Ruby let out her loud laugh. ‘You cheeky sod.’ But she was as chuffed as it was possible to be.
She felt all churned up inside, thinking about the kisses which followed, the way Frank touched her. He’d pressed against her, sulky with frustration when they had to part. She’d allowed her thoughts to race ahead. They could get married soon. She could have all the same things as Edie. They could even be neighbours, bring up their babbies together! She chose not to think for a moment about what would happen to her mom, to George and the boys if she wasn’t there. She was full of desire and expectation.
Until yesterday. Trotting as fast as her plump legs and ill-fitting shoes would allow, she raced in at the back of the factory. Last night Frank had told her he’d received his summons to register for active service and attend the medical check-up! Ruby was horrified.
‘Never mind, Rube.’ Once again they were in the dark street. There was no privacy either at Ruby’s house or with Frank’s large family in Heeley Road. He stroked and kissed her. ‘If I’m one of the first I might get the best jobs, eh?’
‘Oh, please don’t go!’ She was surprised how aggrieved she felt. There was no need to turn on any tears, they came pouring out of her. At home she had kept her feelings down, but suddenly at the thought of Frank going it was as if all the grief about Dad’s death, all the struggles they’d been through since, came pouring out at the same time. She couldn’t stand another loss.
‘I don’t want to go,’ Frank was saying, his hands pressing her close to him. ‘I don’t want to let you go of an evening, never mind go away and leave yer.’
With a cry she flung her arms round his neck and pressed her wet face against his. She heard him say solemnly, ‘I love you, Ruby Bonner. I want to make you my wife.’
‘Oh!’ She pulled back from him. ‘Oh Frank – d’yer mean it? Oh, I love you too!’ She was laughing now.
‘Course I mean it. You’re just – well, you’re everything to me! So, will yer, Ruby? Will yer marry me?’
‘Yes!’ She’d wept with happiness. ‘I want to stay with you for ever. I want to be your wife!’
It had been the happiest moment of her life and she told him so. But when she’d had time to catch her breath and come to her senses, she’d told him they’d have to wait. She wanted to marry him more than anything in the world, but how could she? If she married, she’d have to give up her job, and she’d have to watch her brothers struggle on alone to support her and their mom. And Frank wasn’t even going to be here, not now he’d been called up.
Frank took this badly to begin with. ‘But I want you, Ruby. Why can’t we at least get wed even if I’m going away? You could still live at home.’
‘I’m worried about my job,’ she told him. ‘I can’t rush into it just yet, even if it’s what I want more than anything. Oh Frank, if only we could go and live on an island somewhere where there’s no war and no families – just you and me!’ She clung to him. She was frightened he’d go and find someone else!
In the end, Frank came round reluctantly to her way of thinking. ‘You’re worth the wait,’ he said, kissing her.
This morning, as she panted through the aroma of chocolate and into the crush hall where they all gathered in the morning, she felt down, and resentful about it. Why did Frank have to be one of the first called up? Damn their wars! This time it was that rotten, bloody Hitler spoiling everything!
Six
Edie sat in the little room overlooking Fordhouse Lane, cuddled up in the old armchair, hair loose, an old crocheted blanket laid across her lap and a cup of tea on the table by her elbow. She was waiting for Jack to come home, her sketchbook in her lap, drawing the fireplace, trying to capture the life in the flames. Outside it was almost dark, cold rain lashing against the rattling, draughty windows. Every so often a gust howled down the chimney, making the coals hiss and flare up.
‘Come on, Jack,’ she whispered impatiently. The smell of mutton stew laced with carrots and onions curled round the room, along with the steam from the gently boiling potatoes. ‘If yer going to be much longer I’ll ’ave to start in on them taters. Me and Little’un ’re starved!’
She sat with her hand over her stomach. There was nothing to show yet, as she was only a few weeks gone, but she loved the idea of the child inside her. She felt very grown up and proud. She was making a life for herself. She and Jack had overcome their problems as a married couple and now she was to be a mother. Even Florrie was showing her a bit more respect. I’m not just the kid sister any more, Edie thought, chewing the end of her pencil and watching the licking movements of the fire. And there isn’t much sign of anything happening with this war. Not to us anyroad. No wonder they’re calling it ‘phoney’. And I’ve got two little jobs and a babby on the way!
She’d found two cleaning jobs, one up at the Oak Inn in Selly Oak, and one for a family in Cartland Road. She and Jack could manage. She felt warm and contented. She wasn’t even being sick as much as Florrie had assured her she would. She felt quite well in herself, although more tired than usual.
The potatoes must be ready by now. She pulled he
rself out of the chair, poked them with a fork and turned off the gas. Going to the window, she looked out between the criss-crosses of anti-blast tape.
‘Nowt to see out there,’ she said. ‘Black as a bear’s backside.’ She pulled the blackout curtains, shutting out the night, and lit the gas mantle. As she did so she heard the door open downstairs and smiled. Here he was, just in time! They could have their tea and turn in early, cuddle up in bed together. She turned to the door, smiling as he came up the stairs.
‘’Allo love,’ she called as he came in. Water was dripping from his cap and his face and overcoat shone with it.
‘It’s coming down in torrents out there,’ he said, stripping off his outdoor clothes.
‘’Ere.’ She handed him a strip of rag. ‘Dry yer face and give us a kiss. I’ve made us a nice stew for tea.’
‘Smashing.’ He obliged with the kiss. His cheeks were cold and damp. ‘Smells good. But before we ’ave our tea, Ede, I’ve got summat to tell yer.’
Edie looked up at him anxiously. His face and tone were solemn.
‘What, Jack? You’ve not lost that job, have you?’
‘No – not exactly. Look, sit down, eh?’
She sank into the armchair. Another, much more alarming thought struck her.
‘You’ve not been called up? They can’t’ve done yet, surely – you’re a married man . . .?’ Her mind was awhirl with worries.
‘No – they ain’t called me up.’ He stood over her, seeming so tall. ‘I went in today and volunteered.’
‘You! What d’you mean, you volunteered? For . . .?’
Jack nodded. ‘The RAF. I’ve volunteered to train as a flyer.’ He held up his hand to silence her outburst of objection. ‘Thing is, love, you know Frank’s had the call-up. And a couple of other lads from the dairy, and Lol and Patsy.’ Of all Jack’s pals, he was the first to marry. All the others were footloose, if not fancy free. ‘They’ll call me up in the end. I want to go now, with the blokes I know.’
‘But Jack,’ Edie felt herself becoming tearful. She was terribly hurt that he had volunteered to go away and leave her, just when she felt so safe and happy. That was far worse than getting the call-up! ‘We’ve got the babby on the way. Your pals ain’t got families and responsibilities like you have. You could get a reserve job – in a factory. You might never have to go. Oh Jack, please don’t go away and leave me on my own ’ere!’ She broke down.
Jack gave a heavy sigh. Guiltily he squatted down and put his arm round her shoulders. ‘I’m sorry, love, but it’s too late. My name’s already down, this afternoon. It’s not that I want to leave you, Ede, and I know it’s a bad time. But you’ve got Ruby, and yer mom.’
‘Mom!’ Edie exploded. ‘What the hell good’s she ever been to me?’
‘It’s just,’ Jack continued, ‘they say it’s not going to last all that long. And when they’re all chewing over their exploits after it’s over, I don’t want to be the only bloke left on the sidelines.’
The days before Jack was due to leave for training went terribly quickly, and there was little pleasure in them for Edie because she was so desolate about him going. On the last evening, he and Frank wanted to go out for a farewell session in the pub.
‘Anyone’d think they were never going to see another drink again in their lives, the way they’re carrying on,’ Edie grumbled to Ruby, watching the little knot of lads walk away along the Bristol Road, in high spirits and full of bravado.
‘Come on, eh? Come round ours for a bit. They won’t be late. Frank said ’e’d get everyone out by ten.’
‘Huh,’ Edie said. ‘I’ll believe that when I see it.’
Nervously, Edie went home with Ruby, but she was relieved to find Mrs Bonner moving slowly round the back room, gathering the plates up from tea to wash up and shooing Billy and Alf from the table. Perce, who was fourteen and had just started work, was round at a pal’s house. George, who was helping clear up, smiled at her. There was washing dangling from the backs of the chairs and from a string across one corner of the room.
Mrs Bonner was wearing a voluminous cream frock dotted with big red poppies and flat shoes so worn out that their sides had collapsed and she was forced to slop along in them to keep them on. She had a bad cough, which doubled her up, her chest rattling.
‘Awright Edie?’ she said. ‘Ain’t seen you for a long time. How’re you getting along? Keeping well?’
‘I’m awright ta, Mrs Bonner,’ Edie said, trying not to wrinkle her nose at the smell of the house. Ethel had never been the most attentive housewife at the best of times. ‘And yourself?’
‘Oh, going along,’ Ethel Bonner said. ‘Not so bad.’ But there was a dull listlessness about her speech which wrung Edie’s heart. She’d had the stuffing properly knocked out of her and it was terrible to see. Her skin was bloated and spongey and her hair had a sickly yellowish tinge to it from her smoking.
‘Rube, can you get Alf up to bed?’ Ethel said. Ruby didn’t need telling. She was usually the one in charge anyway. ‘Let’s put the kettle on and you and Ruby can have a chinwag. It’s nice to have some company in the ’ouse. Your Jack’s on his way tomorrow with Frank, is ’e?’
‘Yes,’ Edie said, a surge of pride mixed with her anguish that Jack was leaving her behind. ‘Out for their last night on the tiles.’
‘Terrible, them lads ’aving to go back into all this again. Criminal I call it . . .’ The cough cut her off again.
‘I’ve told Frank to bring ’im back in good time,’ Ruby shouted from the stairs as she shooed little Alf up to bed.
‘On a lead!’ Edie found herself laughing in spite of her misery.
Even Ethel Bonner gave a chesty chuckle. ‘That’s where yer want to keep ’em, bab, take my word for it!’
Once Alf was bedded down and the clearing up done, they settled in the back room, Mrs Bonner in her sagging chair, lighting up a cigarette. Billy, who was nine, was absorbed at the table with the Sports Argus, copying out football scores. Ruby and Edie sat either side of him, the big brown teapot between them. Edie thought sadly of the long silent piano in the front room.
Ethel went to the sideboard and brought out a bottle of Gordon’s. ‘Just have a tot to go with my tea,’ she said apologetically.
‘Go easy with it, Mom, please,’ Ruby said, pouring out tea into the family’s motley collection of chipped cups. ‘Frank’s got summat to say to yer tonight.’
Edie looked closely at her, hearing the urgency in her voice. She looked questioningly at Ruby, and saw the excitement in her eyes. She had a glow about her. Were she and Frank going to announce that they were to marry as well? Edie wondered, hoping that was the case. If only they’d met and married earlier, she thought, then Frank wouldn’t have been called up either, and probably Jack wouldn’t be leaving tonight . . . But it was no good thinking like that. She realized Mrs Bonner was saying something to her.
‘I said ’ow’s yer mother?’ She repeated. ‘I ain’t seen ’er in months.’
‘Oh, awright,’ Edie said. She and Jack had called in earlier. It was the first time Nellie had heard that Jack had volunteered. She looked at Edie stony-faced and said, ‘Well, you needn’t think yer coming back ’ere, yer know.’
‘What makes yer think I’d want to?’ Edie snapped, but the bitter words sunk deep into her. She was very anxious about how she was going to cope on her own when the baby arrived. No help from this quarter though, obviously. She’d told Ruby what her mom had said.
‘Don’t you get all in a state. I’ll ’elp yer, Edie, any way I can, you know that.’
‘You’ve got enough on yer plate already, Rube,’ Edie said gloomily. ‘Without adding me to the pile.’
‘Don’t talk daft.’ Ruby flung her arm round Edie’s shoulders. ‘You’re me best pal. You’ll never be on yer own with me around – there’s a threat, eh!’
Edie knew that despite Ruby’s kind words she wouldn’t be able to help much. She couldn’t help worrying. If only there w
as someone she could really turn to and rely on!
They sat drinking their tea in silence for a while. The broken clock watched silently from the mantle and Billy Bonner put his head down on his scrap of paper, eyes closing. Ruby sent him off to bed. Mrs Bonner finished her tipple and dozed by the fire. Edie looked at her, trying to imagine the young woman she had once been, when she’d looked very like Ruby. Edie laid her hand over her stomach. The sight of Mrs Bonner and the thought of Jack going in the morning made her feel so emotional she felt a lump rise in her throat and she tried to snap out of it and talk to Ruby and George.
‘Wonder what they’ll be doing in that camp when they get there,’ she said, doing her best to sound bright and cheerful. She was sure Ruby’s mind was running ahead with Frank and Jack the way hers was.
‘Must ’ave to learn everything there is to know about planes and that,’ Ruby said. ‘Another drop?’ She topped up Edie’s cup.
‘Jack doesn’t know one end of a plane from another,’ Edie grinned. ‘Can’t imagine why they took him on. ’E’s just as likely to sit on the tail bit and fly it backwards!’
That set the two of them off, thinking of more and more ridiculous exploits their beloved fellers might get up to. ‘Heaven help the RAF when those two nutcases arrive,’ Ruby laughed. ‘They won’t know what’s flippin’ hit ’em!’
‘You sorry you’re not going, George?’ Edie asked him.
George considered the question in his usual quiet way. ‘No,’ he said eventually. ‘It don’t appeal to me, fighting, like. And anyroad, I wouldn’t want to leave Rube to ’ave to cope ’ere on ’er own.’
‘He’s a home-boy, our George,’ Ruby said fondly. ‘Anyway – ’e ain’t eighteen ’til January. I s’pect Cad-bury’s’ll find plenty to keep ’im busy.’