by Imogene Nix
“Jessa? Jessa, are you okay?” He sounded worried.
She couldn’t blame anyone but herself. “Yeah…yeah I just…” She closed her eyes and made a decision. Opening the door she peered into his eyes. “What if I’m pregnant?”
He smiled. “Then that is indeed a miracle. But how would you know?” He reached for her face and stroked it gently as she laid her hand over his.
“I don’t. But… What if I am?”
“Then we celebrate.” But as if he understood her disquiet he pulled her gently into his arms. “It is that simple, Jessa. The Quickening and a pregnancy would seal it for me.”
She swallowed the lump of anger and loss that lodged in her throat. Okay, so he doesn’t love me, but will keep me because of some bond and a baby. Great work, Jessa.
The ding of a bell filled the air and Jessa pulled away, thankful for the distraction. “Stay here. I’ll get it.” She grabbed one of the robes hanging on the bathroom door. Then she thrust her arms through the sleeves before belting it firmly. Then Jessa pushed past him.
* * * *
The morning had passed quickly with the Prime Minister summoning Galen to her rooms. He wasn’t sure he liked being called up like a servant. But he had to remind himself that it was necessary to go along with the fiction that he was just a captain. He could reveal his identity later—once an agreement had been forged.
She’d hurried them along organising for them to travel to the location she kept calling the UN. He still was unclear what it was. He remained amazed that there was no one central governing body for Earth, yet everyone kept telling him that this was the only way a decision could be taken.
Jessa, meanwhile had been both cool and remote. He couldn’t work out what was going through her mind but had his own issues to contemplate right now. He needed to formulate his argument before he spoke to what they called the General Assembly. Even that title confused him. Seth had tried to explain that it was an assembly of eminent beings and heads of state who came together to make decisions for and on behalf of the peoples of the many nations that made up their planet. To his mind, it seemed more senatorial and yet it didn’t really have the same ability to legislate or bind them to the decisions taken.
On their arrival at the building he watched as people scurried here and there and huddled in small groups, sometimes pointing to him and turning back to whisper among themselves. He sighed, unsure if this was auspicious or not. Jessa sat next to him, her foot tapping and only participating when directly questioned. It was most unlike her, a situation which bothered him.
“Captain Galan? Could you come this way? The General Assembly is ready for you now.” He stood and extended a hand to Jessa. “No, sir. By yourself.” The woman in the non-descript grey suit looked at him.
Jessa opened her mouth, but he shook his head. This time he would deal with this. She subsided but he saw how her lips pulled tight and she balled her fists. One of these days, she would surely explode, he allowed.
“No. Jessa, Seth and Joras come with me.” He stated the words clearly, and watched as the woman frowned.
“One moment please.” Then she scurried away beyond the door of the meeting room. He waited. Tense silence reigned. Jessa watched the way they followed Galan.
She returned and smiled. “Of course. This way please.” She indicated him to follow and he did. Jessa walked beside him, his equal in so many ways, yet everyone kept throwing up obstacles, reminding her of her past and their view that she was somehow a lesser person. This couldn’t be easy for her. His heart ached, aware she was out of her depth. He was about to begin negotiations for the future of his planet. The efficacy of his actions would affect those that would one day be his subjects. His own personal wants and desires had to take a backward step. After all, he could already see his own future in Jessa’s eyes. That thought alone buoyed him.
The woman opened the doors and he could see the meeting chamber. Rows and rows of staggered seating, a large metallic panel loomed on the wall ahead of him, richly decorated in gold with an insignia on it. Beside it were two large screens. They stepped through into the hall and the imposing doors shut with a thud behind them.
The assembly waited in silence as the four made their way down the centre aisle. He could feel each and every eye on him, on Jessa as she clutched his hand, and on Seth and Joras to the side. What he would give to read inside their minds. But he needed to focus and concentrate now. One misstep would mean the end of his mission. He couldn’t fail. The future of his planet was in the balance.
Galan reached the front and the one called the Secretary General met him, shaking his hands, pumping them up and down. His mind picked out facets to focus on. The women sitting at one table eyeing him, another set of delegates with white flowing headpieces whose arms waved as they talked in quick snatches.
“Please, come this way.” The short man led him up the steps to the lectern and his people, Jessa, Seth and Joras found seats behind him. The usher motioned him forward.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please come to order. We now recognise the presence of Captain Galan of the Hesparian Galactic Fleet.” A burst of applause followed and he bowed deeply. Even as he did, he drew in a deep breath and prepared himself, searching for a spot on the wall, looking for the doors they had just entered, just as he always did.
“Ladies and Gentlemen. I thank you for your welcome…” He started, talking slowly and clearly addressing the people and what he thought would be their fears. The room was silent and he outlined the situation on Hesparia, the background of how it had come about. What his planet had to offer to the people of Earth. From time to time he sipped on the water as he showed them images that Seth and Joras had prepared. And the whole time he hoped it would be enough to sway them. At the end he stepped away from the lectern, mentally exhausted and turned to Jessa. She rose to take his hand and they headed towards the exit.
Jessa’s nerves jangled as they slowly made their way up the aisle. She was aware of the many gazes focused on them. How many of the women leaned together and whispered and some of the men stared openly.
Galen had talked to them, discussing the health improvements he could bring. The technological advances his planet was happy to share. He’d woven a view of the opportunities for trade and diplomacy between the two planets and how that could enhance their quality of life. Of the other species they already had interaction with. He’d spoken with deep passion of the history and the development of his own, mainly agrarian based world.
She’d listened to the stories of the women who’d died knowing they had no choice in the matter. He told of the hollow emptiness of the adults whose children wouldn’t be conceived and those who experienced the loss of hope that came with the death of a child before birth. How it was caused by the genetic manipulations that had occurred generations before his own. He’d shared the story of his own wife, Gospah. And during his speech she’d bled deep inside, understanding now that he still grieved for her. Despite his protestations, she knew that all he could offer her was a corner of his heart. The rest would belong to any children she bore him, if they actually got that far, and to his long dead wife.
He’d finished with the admonition, that now first contact had been made, others would surely come. Some with pacific diplomatic notions. Others looking to colonise and form empires. Those who would see the lack of technology and see an opportunity. He spoke of the benefits of a diplomatic alliance, a sharing of knowledge. Of the safety in numbers.
Once out of the meeting hall she pulled away. She needed time to think over his early statements in the chamber. “Galan? I need to visit the rest room.” She avoided his eyes but saw him nod.
Now that he’d finished, he was silent. Jessa glanced towards the door of the bathroom then back and watched as Danni stepped beside her. They crossed the foyer together in silence heading for the room that had been pointed out to them earlier. Once the door shut behind her she let out a moan. She felt a touch at her back and she turned. D
anni’s face had lost its impassive façade. Instead she saw understanding.
“I’ve mucked the whole thing up.” She muttered the words as much to herself as to her guardian.
“Do you think so? I don’t see him trying to go anywhere that you aren’t.”
Jessa didn’t know how to respond. Female friends were something she didn’t have many of. But she needed another perspective. And she knew Seth wasn’t the person she could ask. Her parents weren’t talking to her and that really left pretty much nobody else.
“No. You see, he’s not sticking around for me. It’s a case of I could give his father and him what they most desire. An heir. A child. But did you hear him, up there?”
Danni nodded slowly. “I heard him speak of his planet and the loss of his wife. One he was close to. But I…”
“He loved her. It was there in the tone of his voice. She was everything a wife should be. Cultured. Capable. Artistic even.” She repeated his words from the speech. “And they both wanted children. Something she couldn’t give him.” She turned away, her eyes burning once more.
“Jessa, I think you are selling yourself short. I mean… Do you even see the way he looks at you? The look on his face when customs wasn’t going to let you into the United States?” Danni leant forward, emphasising her words. “He was ready to pull the plug on all this. For you.”
But Jessa shook her head. “No.” She couldn’t believe that. Danni was seeing the incident with rose coloured glasses. She’d seen the looks she and Seth were passing back and forth.
Seth was seriously smitten and she knew Danni was in the same boat. She had known lots of girls who, when presented with a male they were seriously interested in, only saw the same in others. It looked to her as if Danni were no different, in that department.
Instead she swallowed the frustration and pushed away from the door, making her way to the stall in the corner. She completed her personal business and when she emerged it was to see Danni watching her in the mirror, frowning. She moved to the basin, and washed her hands. “It’s okay you know. It’s better to know. That way I won’t imagine he feels the same way…” She broke off.
“The same way you do?”
Danni’s words pulled Jessa up short. If Danni knows then how many others have worked it out? “Don’t tell him. He can’t know.” If he knew, he’d feel duty bound to respond. But it would be meaningless, because it would just be the words. She’d rather not open the subject than have him tell her something he didn’t feel.
Danni’s frown deepened. “It’s not for me to do that, but, Jessa… You need to tell him, at some point. If you are wrong…”
“No. I’m right. And it’s better that he doesn’t ever know. I don’t want his pity. That’s the last thing I want.” Jessa hurried, pulling on a paper towel before she dried her hands. “We won’t talk of this again.” Danni nodded stiffly and she pulled the door open.
* * * *
After their discussion in the ladies room, Danni and Jessa were careful to avoid any discussion of Jessa and Galan’s situation. Jessa took an active interest in Seth and Danni’s bourgeoning relationship. Unable to propel her own forward, instead she helped Seth find every opportunity to sit beside and talk with Danni. A thrill of satisfaction filled her when on the fourth day Danni and Seth entered the suite, hand in hand, wordlessly telling Jessa what she’d hoped for.
Each morning Jessa and Galan woke in each other’s arms and the nights were a passionate adventure. But the days were busy with endless rounds of meetings and concerns. Privately Jessa wondered if they, the delegates, were interested in stringing it out so they could enjoy the hustle and bustle of New York. Not that she had seen much beyond the walls of the United Nations building, the hotel and the vehicles they were shuttled in. By the fifth day she was wound so tight something was likely to blow. And she knew her own temper was frayed at the stress both she and Galan were struggling with.
Galan had woken early and organised their breakfast while Jessa showered and dressed.
“Jessa? We need to hurry.” His words filtered through the bathroom door. She grimaced before quickly covering it.
The delegates had no interest in anything she had to say. Indeed in her mind they had relegated her to the position of lover. Which, she silently agreed, was exactly what she was. She had no official standing beyond arm candy and even in that department she wasn’t particularly useful. Even Seth had a role. He acted as an intermediary between Joras and the technical wunderkinds who had questions to ask about the various propulsion systems and technologies the Hesparians used.
But she, Jessa, couldn’t even call on that. Feeling thoroughly sorry for herself she called back, “You know what? Why don’t you go ahead and I can catch up later?” Silence reigned in the suite and she popped her head out of the doorway, scanning the bedroom as he wandered in.
“Are you ill?” His gaze, previously focused on her face dropped to her stomach. As if looking for some noticeable sign of pregnancy, her mind unhelpfully added.
“No. I’m not ill. But I just think, you are meeting with the Secretary General, the President and the British Prime Minister. You’ll be busy. And I…” She cast about thinking for something to say. Any excuse instead of seeing that hopeful look in his eye. “I have stuff to do.”
It was a weak excuse, but while shame filled her, she released a silent sigh when he nodded in silence. She could tell he wasn’t happy with her obviously badly executed argument but he didn’t argue. He moved forward, before dropping a quick and almost cautious kiss on her lips. “I’ll be back as soon as I can. If you come in, tell them…” He stopped and frowned. “Well, you know what to say.”
Then he left. She heard the door open and close, behind him, she supposed. She stood still, holding herself rigid against the walls for an instant or two then slid to the floor. “God damn it, Jessa. You are such a fool.” Her eyes burnt and she slumped. “He’s more interested in whether you are pregnant than you. It’s time to bail on this relationship.” But it hurt. God how it hurt. She loved him. But it was an unequal relationship. At least if he wasn’t stuck with her around his neck, he might find another woman. One he loved. One who could compete with Gospah.
Once that decision was taken, she knew she needed to consider both the when and the how. Questions which turned in her mind even as her stomach cramped. When they went home, she would have to call it off. The answer was clear to her. Once they touched back down, she would thank him for the opportunity and walk away. He wouldn’t be stuck with her and she could try to rebuild what remained of her shattered life.
She gathered herself up off the floor and headed to the bathroom. Her eyes were red and swollen from crying. She grabbed the nearest facecloth. “Jessa, it may be nearly over, but you are not going to make him look foolish.” She marched to the small refrigerator and grabbed a couple of ice cubes, which she wrapped in the thick white towelling and headed back to the bathroom.
She applied the impromptu cold packs and once she was satisfied that she had undone as much of the damage as she could she applied her makeup. It was a little heavier than usual and she frowned at herself in the mirror. Then she hunted out her best clothes before scurrying into the living area where she grabbed her bag and key card.
Opening the door to the corridor, she gazed at Danni, who’d pulled up a chair and waited. “Never thought you were coming out.” Danni peered closely. “Are you okay?”
Jessa nodded smiling then she let loose a small laugh. “Of course I am.” But Jessa was sure Danni could tell that inside she was falling apart.
They hurried into the elevator and when they emerged the manager scurried forward, before escorting them to the waiting car. As they strapped themselves in, Danni’s phone rang.
“Hello?”
Jessa watched her eyes and saw them widen. Apprehension crawled over her body. What had happened? “They’re ready?” The words were an excited squeak. “Okay… Yes, we’re on our way.”
&nbs
p; As Danni hung up, Jessa urged her silently to tell her. “So? Who was that?”
“It was Seth.” Jessa waited. “They are ready to make a formal announcement.” Danni turned and rapped on the window. “Go as fast as you can.”
The driver nodded, and made a quick call. Then the car shot forward.
* * * *
Galan paced. He’d known something was wrong with Jessa and he couldn’t understand what it was. He knew both Seth and Joras wondered what he was about. The last few days she had withdrawn, in subtle ways. But he was sure she understood. He had to resolve the situation with the people of Earth. Then they could be together. And now, just moments ago, they had received a notification that a decision had been reached. His skin crawled as if thousands of insects had invaded his clothes.
He reminded himself that he would focus on their relationship once this was out of the way. The days of to-ing and fro-ing had been endless. But his father had instructed him that any such meetings would be necessary to achieve the desired outcome. So he’d listened to their short sighted arguments. How would they pick the women? How could he guarantee their safety? He’d wanted to laugh in their faces at that. Safety? These women were in more danger of being smothered with affection by the men who desired life partners.
Then they had started trading for technologies, physician training and finally weaponry. He’d assured them that the technology was something the Hesparians were more than happy to supply and teach the humans to understand. The physician training could be handled by an exchange program. But the weaponry had caused him more than one concerned moment. They were a pacific culture, he had reminded them. Weaponry was something they had little interest in. After seeing the newscasts, he had already come to the conclusion that they might only use it to increase their territories. Something he knew his father would not entertain. So he’d put them off.