by Dixon, Ruby
He only grunts, but I know my words please him. He's not used to affection or kind words, so I intend on smothering him with both.
"Knock knock," calls out a cheery, unfamiliar female voice. Human. "Can we come in?"
I pause, startled, and look at Gren in surprise. That's not Hassen…and it's not Veronica, either.
Gren snarls a greeting in his language. "Enter."
A head pokes around the corner a moment later and a pretty woman with faded pink hair—and two inches of brown roots—peeks over at us. "Hi there! Taushen and I volunteered to come and say hello. Hassen's busy today." She enters the cave, waving, and I can't help but notice that her tunic is decorated with little beads and fringe, and it's tied in such a way that it emphasizes her terrific figure. Her hair's braided across the crown of her head in a half-coronet and she looks more fresh and put together than anyone else I've seen on this planet. For a moment, I'm envious…and then I'm just embarrassed, thinking of my sex-snarled mess of hair.
"Hi," I say tentatively.
"I'm Brooke, but everyone calls me Buh-brukh for some reason, so I'll answer to either." She steps into our cave, and so does a large male trailing behind her. He carries a dead animal in one hand, wears a vest and loincloth and little else, but his face seems less craggy than some of the others, and his hair is long and smooth. I notice Brooke's got his tail in her hand, and she's all smiles. "And I haven't met either of you. Hello! This is my boo, Taushen."
Taushen nods at us and holds up a long, furry dead cat. "We bring food. Resonance is difficult work."
Brooke just giggles and nudges his shoulder. "Like it was that difficult for you."
Taushen rubs one ear, his expression embarrassed but pleased.
"This is Gren," I say, gesturing at my mate. "I'm Willa."
"Oh, we know," Brooke says, and extends her hand. "Nice to meet you both though."
I shake her hand—awkwardly—and then I'm thrilled when she keeps it extended, clearly offering it to Gren. It's the first time I've seen anyone reach out of their own accord to touch him, and my heart swells when he gingerly takes it, mimicking my shake. She grins at us both, and then snags Taushen's tail again.
"I don't remember meeting you guys," I confess. "I know it was a mess when we first woke up, but I thought I'd remember pink hair."
Brooke laughs. "We showed up on the beach after the others. We were busy with some resonatin' of our own." She winks at her mate, who rubs his ear again, and pulls his tail out of her grasp.
"I will butcher your food for you," Taushen says, tail flicking, and then leans in to kiss Brooke on the cheek before glancing at Gren. "Would you like to come? I can show you how."
"And I can fix your hair," Brooke says, wiggling her fingers. "I'm itching to touch those curls."
Gren looks over at me, then rubs his mouth on my cheek in a copy of Taushen's affectionate kiss. As he does, he murmurs, "Will you be safe?"
"I'll be totally fine," I tell him, pleased. I like that Taushen and Brooke are treating him like they would anyone else. Isn't that all I ever wanted for him? Even in my exhaustion, I'm thrilled that he's not being treated as a beast but as a man. "You go on."
He nuzzles my cheek again and then takes a step forward. Taushen nods, and then the men disappear into the tunnel. I can hear Taushen speaking in a low voice, though I can't make out his words or Gren's responses. I feel suddenly anxious, and I wonder if I should go with them and act as interpreter. Surely Taushen will know that his growls are language and not aggression—
"Come sit," Brooke tells me, "And we can hang out for a bit. Also, I can braid your hair so it's not in your face. I've been doing a lot of braids lately."
"Oh. Okay." She sits down on a big rock by the fire that we've been using as a stool, and I sit at her feet. "I'm a bit of a mess."
"Girl, it is A-OK. This place is an adjustment for everyone." Her fingers run through my curls loosely, working out a few knots. "I appreciate you letting me play with your hair. I was a beautician back on Earth and I just want to pretty up everyone I run across. Not that you're not already pretty. I love those freckles." She separates a piece of my hair from the rest and I feel a gentle tug as she begins to work on my tangles. "But I know a lot of people are hunting and fishing and making clothes, and prettying people up is something I can do."
"That's all right," I tell her, hugging my knees as she plays with my hair. "I haven't figured out much of anything yet. There's been no time."
"Resonance can be a bitch, not gonna lie. I mean, it's fantastic, but it's not always the most convenient." Her tone is sympathetic. "It's good at picking mates, though. I haven't seen one person unhappy with their choice, which is pretty interesting if you ask me. It's like your cootie knows just who you'll jive with regardless of what you're thinking at the moment. I have a feeling we're going to see a lot of them with the new people on the beach." She tugs at my hair again. "Have you met them? The islanders?"
"No, we've been up here." I pause. "Uh, is Veronica back yet?"
"Oh! Yes, they just got back late last night." She chuckles. "I still can't believe her mate's a dragon and we get to fly back and forth between villages. If you would have told me that I'd get a chance at dragon-back a few months ago, I'd have said you need to pass me whatever you're smoking, but I guess this is our reality now."
Dragons? I rub my eyes, not entirely sure I'm awake enough to follow what she's talking about. It's hard enough to concentrate when all I can think about is that Gren is in the next room with Taushen and I miss him desperately and I want to jump his bones…and take a twelve-hour nap. I wonder if resonance will get so bad that at some point we'll be sleep-fucking. At this point, I wouldn't doubt it. "But…Veronica's back?"
"Yup. Resting up right now."
"Is she coming up here?" I try not to sound too impatient or jittery, and probably fail. "We need to see her."
"Hassen told us you asked to see her. I'm supposed to give you guys the bad news." Brooke makes an unhappy little sound in her throat and my heart drops. "She does want to see you guys and she says she's willing to do whatever, but she's pretty exhausted after their run between villages and Ashtar won't let her leave. He's worried she's going to wear herself out looking after everyone, and she does seem kind of tired lately." Brooke sighs. "I'm supposed to tell you guys if you want her help, you have to come to her not the other way around. I'm sorry it's not the greatest message."
"Oh. It's okay." I don't blame them. If it's true that they're going between two camps and there's a whole bunch of new aliens, I imagine poor Veronica's running herself ragged. That doesn't help me, though. I wonder briefly if we can wait it out, if resonance will finally kick in and we'll be fine.
And then I burst into tears.
"WILLA!" I hear Gren's shout a split second after I sob, and the sound of him tearing down the tunnel, back toward me.
Oh crap. I jump to my feet, ripping a half-done braid out of Brooke's hands and move to intercept him. "I'm okay, sugar! Really." When he appears, I hate the panicky rage in his eyes. He moves to me and immediately pulls me into his arms and holds me close. His body shakes with effort, and I realize I'm not the only one that's exhausted.
We can't keep going like this. "The healer's not coming," I tell him, feeling defeated. "We have to go to her."
"Then we will go." He strokes my hair back from my face. "This is a simple thing."
"What? No, no it's not." I give him an incredulous look. "I don't want you to be forced to go back there. I don't like how they treated you. It wasn't right!"
"My mate." Gren puts his big hands on my shoulders. "I would willingly enter any arena for you, serve any master. If going to the healer will make your eyes stop their sad watering, it is a small thing—"
"It's not," I tell him, all choked up again. He's willing to sacrifice himself for me, and it's the most unselfish thing ever. How can I ask him to go hang out with a bunch of people who treated him like an animal? "We'll figure something o
ut here. We don't have to leave the cave. We—"
"We are tired," he says in that simple, low growl of his. "You do not sleep. I do not sleep. You shake with exhaustion. I do, as well. Your body hurts. It pains me to see this. Do you think the mesakkah that live here mean us harm?"
I hesitate. "I think they have good intentions, but that doesn't mean anything—"
"Will they enslave us?"
"Oh god, no," Brooke says, getting to her feet even as Taushen comes to her side. "No one would ever!"
I swallow hard, closing my eyes. It's hard for me to see past Gren's initial treatment. I know he confessed to me that he played up his beastlike nature—one of his arena “tricks.” I know Hassen has admitted they didn't know how to protect the rest of us from him and they did what they could. But I'm terrified of being wrong about the others and him ending up tied up once more. That would destroy me.
"Willa," Gren murmurs. "If the healer can make our resonance better, how can I refuse to go and see her? I trust you," he says simply. "If you believe it is safe and no harm will come to us, then I will return and hope no one ties me up or tries to keep me away from you."
"You're the bravest man I have ever met," I tell him, and bury my face against his perfect, furry chest.
"You have always defended me from everyone," he says, stroking my messy hair. "How can I think you would ever stop?"
How, indeed.
* * *
Brooke and Taushen do their best to help us get ready to return to the beach camp. We straighten up the cave, and I'm ashamed to admit that Brooke and Taushen do most of the cleaning. Gren and I are just so tired…plus, we hide in a dark corner to try and take the edge off of things. Twice. Neither of the visitors comments on our friskiness. It's like everyone knows that when resonance is hitting, there's no shame involved. Me, I just want the constant need of it to stop. I want to be able to kiss and touch my mate because I want to, not because I feel as if I'm going to come out of my skin if I don't.
Brooke finishes braiding my hair as Taushen instructs Gren how to wear a loincloth a lot like his. I know my Gren isn't thrilled with the clothing, but I also know he's trying it for my sake.
They make a stew out of the fresh meat, and when we eat our fill, we pack our things and head down the slope toward the beach. It's a surprisingly difficult journey. It's all downhill, so it should be easy, but I'm exhausted and lean on Gren with every step. Even as we walk, my cootie hums and buzzes with angry insistence, so loud that I feel like Taushen and Brooke are going to say something, but they are discreetly quiet about it. They carry our bags and give us shoulders to lean on in the steeper parts of the descent, and the time passes.
With every step, the need in me rises, though, and I start to cling to Gren a little bit longer than necessary. "Should we stop before we get to the village?" I ask them, when we take one of many (oh so many) breaks during our walk.
Brooke hesitates, glancing at Taushen. "I'm sure someone will have room in their tent for you guys. You can take care of business and then say hello to everyone later once you've unpacked your things."
Stay in someone else's tent? I stiffen in Gren's arms, because I don't like the thought of that. For some stupid reason, my tired brain thought we'd have Veronica help us and then just jaunt back up to our cave by the time dark hit. But we packed bags, so…of course we're staying overnight. I feel like an idiot, because it's as if I realized for the first time that we're going to have to stay. I glance up at the skies and see that the two suns are creeping toward the horizon, and our “easy walk” has taken most of the afternoon. Crap. "Oh. No, I don't like that," I fuss, worried. "I don't want to stay with someone else. We need a cave of our own—"
"Willa," Gren murmurs, holding me close. "It will be all right."
"No, it won't be," I tell him, insisting. Worry for him overrides my thoughts and I can feel a frantic edge. "We need our privacy. We—"
"Speaking of privacy," Brooke calls out cheerfully. "I have to go to the girls’ room. Wanna buddy up with me, Willa?" And she gives me a pointed look.
Girls’ room? Dazed, tired, I blink at her, and when she continues to give me a meaningful stare, I realize she wants to talk. God, my brain feels like a bowl of grits at the moment. I rub my forehead and then pat Gren's chest as I pull out of his arms. "I guess I do need to hit the ladies' room."
"Good, we'll go together," Brooke calls out and extends a hand to me. "We'll go behind that cliff over there. Come on."
Gren frowns, as if trying to figure us out. He glances at Taushen, who has his arms crossed and his tail lightly flicking, utterly unworried. His gaze moves back to me, and I give him an encouraging smile. I can see his shoulders lose their tension, and he drops to his haunches, crouching to wait.
Brooke grabs my hand and drags me behind her, to a protected spot a short distance away. She doesn't even bother with the pretense of dropping her pants, though. The moment we're alone, she grabs me by the shoulders. "Are you okay?"
I make a wordless sound. "The village," I begin to protest.
"It's going to be fine," she tells me firmly. "Repeat after me. I know you're tired, but it will all be fine."
"But what if it's not?"
"I have been here a while. I have seen people resonate that could not stand each other. I have seen people with four arms and people who have lived on this land for over a hundred years. You know what I have not seen? One single slave." She gives me a gentle shake. "They saved us. I know it's hard to trust, but no one wants to hurt you or Gren. They just want to raise their kids in peace. You need to have faith that everyone just wants to be left alone, okay?"
"Okay," I manage.
"Gren is taking his cues from you," she continues. "The more tense you get, the more worked up he gets. He looks like he's going to snap if you so much as shed a tear. The more suspicious and afraid you are of us, the more he's going to lash out. If you act like everyone here is the enemy, he's going to think that. You need to be happy. You need to be thrilled you're seeing everyone again so he realizes not everyone's a monster. Otherwise, he's never going to blend in. They're going to be too afraid of him if he attacks someone, and if he does, it'll be because he's trying to protect you."
I blink at her.
She's right. Gren trusts me, and here I am panicking because I'm so determined to protect him. "Thank you," I whisper. "My brain's fried. I should know better. I’m…just so tired.”
"It's all right. Just…happy smile, okay?" Brooke puts on the brightest, cheeriest expression. "Happy smiles. You're being reunited with your buddies and you're excited. Happy, happy excited smiles.”
"So excited," I echo, and smile, even though I'm exhausted.
I need to try to be calm about this for Gren's sake.
24
GREN
The beach encampment seems more chaotic than before. My memories of this place are of crying, frightened females, tired mesakkah natives and their mates doing their best to calm everyone, and bitter cold. And Willa, of course. Most of my memories are around her pretty, speckled face as she approached me, no matter how afraid everyone else was.
Today, the beach encampment is full of laughter and talk. People gather around two large fires, sharing stories and chattering. There is a smell of blood in the air and someone scrapes a hide while another person—a male with four arms—works on a fishing net. The sadness and fear is gone, and there is even a child in a dark-skinned, unfamiliar female's arms. The scents are overwhelming, as is the noise, but Willa's face brightens as she regards them.
"Willa!" someone cries out happily and rushes toward her, arms outstretched.
My mate squeezes my hand and then moves forward to embrace the female. "Lo! It's so good to see you!"
"You, too!" The female beams at my mate, and glances over at me, turning her happy expression in my direction. "And you too, Gren."
I nod at her, unsure how to act. I have never met others in such a way. It has always been a face-to-face meeting i
n an arena or a competition. When I talked with others in holding pens, it was to assess the competition, never simply to be friendly. I do not know what to think or what is required. I notice a big male walking up behind the female, one with four arms. As I watch, his skin shifts colors rapidly, mimicking my darker shade as he moves to his mate's side and puts a hand on her waist.
"Oh," Willa says, startled.
"Meet K'thar," Lo says proudly, almost defensively. "I met him on the island. Him and his people live here now. Please don't be afraid. I know they look different but they're people just like us."
Willa looks at me, astonishment in her eyes. Then, she giggles, shaking her head. Water streams from her eyes, but they are not the sad waters. Instead, she just keeps giggling, leaning against me. "Don't be afraid," she gasps. "Oh my word."
Lauren seems distressed, her shoulders stiffening. She looks to Brooke and Taushen, mystified. "What is it?"
My mate swipes at her eyes. "I just…sorry. Everything's funny when you're tired." Willa sighs and leans against me, and I can feel her body trembling with laughter—and exhaustion. "I left this camp with Gren because no one saw him as a person. They were too afraid. Now we come back and the entire beach is full of strangers. I bet not a single one is tied up."
"To be fair, no one from K'thar's clan—or any of the other clans—has attacked anyone. Gren did." Lauren gives me an uneasy look, and I can feel Willa stiffen defensively. My mate would protect me from all who seek to speak badly of me.
It is…adorable.
"I did attack everyone," I tell my mate before she can step in and assault her friend with words. "I should have been tied up. My goal was to fight my way out." I touch Willa's mane, then touch her shoulder in a caress. "I assumed it was another arena in which to fight."