“And what about Latrice? She’s going to be fine with that?”
“You don’t have to be concerned about that.”
It was against my better judgment, but I did have the man’s earrings stuck in my ears. And it would be nice to see him again while I held the upper hand and wouldn’t be on the begging end of the spectrum. Hell, maybe I would stand him up.
“I guess I could squeeze in about fifteen minutes or so tomorrow morning. My schedule is slammed,” I said.
“Fifteen minutes? I’ll have to rush, but if that’s all you can spare, I guess I’ll have to make do.”
We solidified plans for him to drop by before work the next day and share whatever it was that was on his heart. My plan was to be grateful for the studs, but then to be cold and indifferent. I wanted to let him know that I was angry with him for rejecting me, then asking another woman to marry him. As much as I wanted to act like I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say, I desperately wanted to know why I wasn’t good enough for him. What made Latrice so much better than me.
He didn’t deserve the effort, but I wanted to show him how good I looked and what he was missing out on. At the same time, I couldn’t have him thinking I’d gotten dressed up for him, but I needed to look sexy, carefree, and in control. Which was why, after my shower, I decided against the dress and pulled on a pair of pink sweatshorts that barely covered my booty and a wife beater. My skin was slathered in cocoa butter, giving me a natural glistening glow, and my hair was pushed back from my forehead with a headband. A touch of mascara made my eyes pop but didn’t make me look made up, and I smoothed cherry lip balm across my lips just in case our lips happened to meet.
I caught myself constantly peeking out the window in anticipation of his arrival. I hated that I did that, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. He pulled up right before seven, then called me from the parking lot.
“Hey, Candis. I’m outside.”
“Oh. I forgot you were coming. You’ll have to excuse the way I’m dressed,” I lied.
“It’s all good.”
“Just let yourself in,” I offered, taking a seat on the couch and pushing toe separators between my toes to make it look like I’d been busy pampering myself. A minute later, he twisted the knob and pushed the door open.
“Hey,” he greeted. His cologne swept across my nostrils as he entered, dressed in pair of loose-fitting jeans and a black graphic tee designed with a series of eagles’ wings. He looked like a tall, cold glass of chocolate milk just waiting to be gulped down. Lord, have mercy, Russell was fine! If I wasn’t trying to be in control, I would have thrown my arms around his neck, jumped up and circled his waist with my legs, and let him slam me against the front door and take me right there. My, my, my!
“Hey. Have a seat.” Russell hesitated until I pointed to the chair directly across from me.
“So how’ve you been?” he asked, leaning forward on his elbows and clasping his hands.
“Good.” I didn’t look up at him but acted as if my toes were the most amazing things I’d seen in a long time.
“You look good.” I saw him nod in my peripheral.
“Thanks.”
“Those earrings look nice on you.”
“Yeah. I love them,” I commented with a smile, this time letting my eyes meet his while I touched my right earlobe. “Thank you again.”
“You’re welcome.”
“So what is your future wife going to say when she finds out that you purchased some diamonds and they weren’t for her?”
“I bought those earrings for you a long time ago, Candis,” he answered. “I just never had an opportunity to give them to you, because . . . well, I guess you’d made a decision that we were done or, I should say, you were done with me.”
“I had to draw the line somewhere, Russell. I wasn’t willing to live my life hoping that one day you were going to come around.”
“I understand. I wasn’t ready.”
“But now suddenly you are, and you’re ready with someone else.” I smirked in sarcasm, shook my head, and added another coat of polish to my nails.
“Because you wouldn’t have me. I know you don’t believe this, but I’ve missed you, Candis. I’ve thought about you every single day.”
“So how is it that you can be engaged to another woman if your mind is stuck on me?”
Russell shrugged. “You’d walked out of my life, and she walked in. We started hanging out, and the next thing I know, she was planning a wedding.”
“And you just went along with it?”
“I guess you could say that.”
“So you never proposed to her?”
“I mean, I did, but we were kinda playing around, and she took it seriously. I didn’t even have a ring. Hell, she bought her own.”
“She bought her own engagement ring?” I asked, gawking.
He nodded instead of verbally responding.
Sista girl was that desperate? “She didn’t know you were playing?”
“I guess not, because she started telling her family and all that.”
“So she is bullying you into marrying her,” I said and laughed. “And you’re letting her. That’s definitely not the Russell I know.” Seemed like I did everything I knew how to do to get Russell to commit to a relationship with me, with no results, and come to find out all I had to do was just start planning a wedding. “And you’re going to go through with it?” I asked when he didn’t comment.
“I guess. The woman I really love has given up on me.”
“And what woman is that? You can’t be talking about me, because you never loved me.”
“I’ve always loved you, Candis.”
“Yeah, right.” I guffawed as I remembered I had on booty shorts, stood to my feet, and stomped to the kitchen, with my toes pointed to the ceiling in an effort to not mess them up. “You want something to drink?”
“What do you have?” Russell stood and followed me but kept a respectable distance.
“Water, orange juice, grapefruit juice, coffee . . .”
“A little orange juice would be nice.”
I pulled two glasses from the cabinet, gave them a quick rinse, and filled them halfway with orange juice. Handing him a glass, I lifted mine slightly in a mock toast. “Here’s to letting go of the past.” I leaned back against the counter, not taking my eyes off of Russell, trying to read his face. I thought I saw disappointment and defeat, and I loved it. With a slightly raised brow, I sipped from my glass.
“So it’s good-bye for us, huh?” he asked, not having swallowed any juice yet.
“It was good-bye for us when I last said good-bye, Russell.”
“Don’t make this the end for us, Candis. It doesn’t have to be this way. I love you, and I know that you love me still.”
I brought my glass back up to my face to give me some time to think of how I wanted to respond. I did love Russell, but I wasn’t about to admit that. And just because he wasn’t really into Latrice didn’t mean that he’d suddenly be interested in me. At the same time, he did call and text me every day for two months straight after our trip to Jamaica, but I ignored every single one of his voice mails and text messages. I wanted to believe him, but I couldn’t.
“I think it’s time for you to go.” I nodded.
Russell sighed. “Candis . . .”
“Russell, I’m done.” We stared at each other in an unspoken contest of who would look away first. It lasted fifteen seconds or more before Russell dropped his head.
“Baby, don’t do this to us,” he whispered, sitting his glass down on the countertop and coming toward me.
Instead of backing up, I let him wrap his arms around my waist while he studied my eyes. A fire ignited on my flesh from the warmth of his hands and the gentleness of his touch. I shifted nervously in his arms, not trying to get away, but trying not to get any closer for fear that the spring on my goody box might suddenly give way and then it would be on! And since I hadn’t quite forgotten
about the ass whuppin’ I took from Chad’s wife a few years ago, I wasn’t exactly trying to find out if Latrice would or would not fight over her man.
“There is no us, Russell. There never was.” I pushed against his chest as I stepped backward. “I’m sure your fiancée is looking for you.”
Without saying a word, Russell picked up his glass, gulped the liquid in its entirety, then turned on his heels and walked out the door, leaving me standing in the kitchen.
This time as I watched him walk to his car, I didn’t feel less than. I felt empowered and strong. I felt in control and was proud of myself for not folding and not selling myself for the price of a pair of earrings.
“Expect a package tomorrow, baby.” That was the last thing SeanMichael said to me before we ended our Skype call the night before. Just as he’d said, a box arrived via FedEx shortly after Russell left. I sat down at my dining room table, scissors in hand, and cut through the packaging tape.
The first thing I opened was an envelope that held a card with a bouquet of roses on the front.
Dear BabyThang,
Though we’ve never met in person, I feel as if I know you well. I knew from the start that there was something beautiful and wonderful about you; you gripped my heart and wouldn’t let go. Our relationship, though at a distance, has given me a lot of peace and comfort, and I have yet to see you. You make me feel almost complete, and I say “almost” only because the only thing missing is your presence. You magically entered my life and filled me with the love of a lifetime. Now, each day I look forward to seeing you–even if from afar–talking with you, and blowing you kisses. You are what I want. You are who I want. I feel so special knowing that you love me. I’m so elated that we’re able to share our love with each other in such a pure way. It truly seems as if you’re a part of me, as if our meeting was orchestrated by the heavens. The thought of you fills me with feelings I can’t even describe.
Physically, we’re miles apart, but you’re not far away from me at all. You’re in my heart every day, always on my mind. Even though we are separated by miles, we’re not apart at all, because during the day, we see the same beautiful sunshine, and at night we gaze at the same stars. I don’t care how long it takes me to get to you and what I have to do until I can be there, but until I do, I blow kisses to the wind and command them to travel the beautiful airways until they land gently on your face. Until I can kiss you in person, I will fix my eyes on your picture and pray for you every night, before I go to sleep. I can’t wait for these lonely nights to be over, and for my arms to be filled with you.
I love you with my whole heart, and no one can ever make me feel the way that you do. I’ll always put you first. I’ll take care of you and treat you like the queen that you are. There is no one else for me. You are the woman of my dreams, the queen of my soul, and the love of my life. You’re the one who’s right for my life, and I want us to take this journey into the rest of our lives together. Nothing would make me happier than for you to allow me to take your hand in marriage, as your husband, and to love you for the rest of our lives.
Candis Lorraine Turner, my sweet BabyThang, will you marry me?
Anxiously awaiting your answer,
SeanMichael Monroe
Beneath the card was a large fluffy yellow robe with a wide black ribbon tied around it and a handwritten note that said “Untie this ribbon.” With a smile of expectation, I carefully untied the ribbon and unrolled the robe on the table. In the center was a red velvet box, which made my stomach tumble with butterflies.
“Here we go,” I said to myself. I held my breath as I lifted the lid to the hinged box to reveal my ring.
What had been a grin of high hopes quickly turned into a frown of disappointment. SeanMichael had told me that he couldn’t afford to get me the ring I truly wanted, but I was expecting a little bit more than what sat in the crease of that box in front of me. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. The ring looked like it was made of Cracker Jack gold instead of white gold, and the stone was so small, it was comparable to a single stud from a baby’s pair of earrings. What the hell?
I stared at the ring for ten minutes with tears streaming down my face, trying to talk myself into sliding it on my finger.
“What’s important, Candis? The ring or the man?” I said out loud. “Stop being so materialistic.” I inhaled deeply and pushed the ring past the knuckles of my third finger on my left hand. At least it was the right size. Still, I was embarrassed to show it to anybody. I already knew SeanMichael would be crushed if I expressed anything but complete elation. Knowing this, I practiced gushing in the mirror for twenty minutes before I called him.
“Did you get it?” he asked as soon as he answered.
“It’s beautiful, baby. I love it.” I lied, hoping it was convincing.
“I’m sorry it’s not exactly what you wanted.”
“SeanMichael, I want you, and as long as I have that, I have exactly what I want.” I cooed, and I did mean it. A nicer ring would have been great too, though.
“I love you, girl,” he said with a sigh of relief.
“I love you too, baby.”
“I gotta go. I’m at work, and we’re pretty busy.”
“Okay. Call me later.”
“Hey, post a picture of your hand to Facebook, so I can let the world know that you’re mine!” he said before ending the call.
Oh God.
That evening, with my mini ring on my finger, I headed for Celeste’s apartment, our meeting place for the night. Not only was I excited about my engagement news, but I also was determined to get to the bottom of their matchmaking shenanigans.
“So which one of you two wenches tried to reset me up with Russell?”
Celeste and Dina knew this was coming and had ample time to build up their defenses. Dina obviously had none.
“It was Celeste’s idea,” she blurted.
I eyed Celeste, waiting for an explanation.
“What?” She hunched her shoulders nonchalantly.
“Why did you do that? You know I ended things with Russell months ago, and even more so, you know I’m seeing SeanMichael.”
“Seeing? Is that what it’s now called when you can only in-box, text, Skype, and make phone calls? From what I thought, you ain’t seen him yet,” Celeste replied, poking a little fun.
“Don’t try to be funny. You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t, because every guy I ever called myself seeing, I’ve actually been able to put my hands on him. I don’t know what this mess is you call yourself doing,” Celeste said, fanning her hand at me and rolling her eyes.
“Well, I was going to wait to tell you this, but just so y’all won’t waste your time scheming and carrying on, I might as well go ahead and tell you now. . . .”
Chapter 23
Celeste
“SeanMichael and I are getting married,” Candis announced to Dina and me before taking a swig of wine.
“SeanMichael who?” I blurted out, dropping my head and raising my eyebrows at the same time. “Please tell me you met another man named SeanMichael and you’re not talking about that dude you met on Facebook.”
“Are you serious, Candis?” Dina added right after me.
Candis rolled her eyes at me and focused on Dina. “Yes, I’m serious. We’re getting married.”
“And you’ve never met him?” I said, more as a statement, maintaining my dropped-face look.
“Not in person. We just got finished saying that.”
“And you’re still going to marry him?” I shook my head. “That don’t make no damn sense.”
“And I guess it made sense for you to marry Equanto,” she shot back.
“No, it didn’t, but at the very least, I did meet him and date him first.”
“And that should have been all the reason not to marry him, from what you’ve shared with me.” Candis poked her lips out and rolled her eyes.
See? That was why I didn’t like sharin
g stuff with Candis and Dina half the time. Eventually, it got thrown back in my face.
Call me the queen of desperate, bored, or lonely, but Equanto and I met on a phone chat line, of all places. It started off as something fun and simple: dial a number, talk to a guy to pass some time, or in my case, to feel like somebody was interested in me again after David knocked me up during a one-night stand and left me with a baby, an extra hundred pounds, a stomach that had so many stretch marks it looked like a map of Africa, and self-esteem that was in the toilet. I couldn’t deny that my baby, Linwood, was the love of my life, but I didn’t need just love. I needed lovin’.
Equanto and I started talking every night on the chat line’s coded number. One of the first questions he asked was, “So what do you look like?” It reminded me of just how out of shape I was, and it was a question I would have much rather avoided.
“Like a woman,” was my answer. That meant I had curves and bulges that only a real man would appreciate.
He chuckled first. “Well, I hope you don’t look like a damn man, but tell me something more than that.”
“So where do you work?” I threw in as a distraction.
“We can talk about all that later,” he said. “I bet you sexy as hell, though.”
I wanted to give him a description of a bombshell body: nice, round, perky tatas; a flat belly; a curvy, thick behind; a tiny waistline; and long, flowing hair, like the females the chat line used in their commercials. This description was something that I thought he would take interest in, but all I could honestly lay claim to was the long, flowing hair, complements of my daddy’s genes.
“I don’t like to be vain like that,” I said, dodging. “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”
“You ain’t tryin’a answer, so you must be fat, then,” he said and guffawed.
I should have hung up the phone right then, but instead, the conversation continued and we not only exchanged our personal numbers but also agreed to meet at the end of the week, after texting each other head shots. The one I sent had most of my face hidden by my hair and showcased sexy bedroom eyes. The one he sent me was an average shot of him sitting on a couch with a half grin, half snarl on his face. He would do.
Fool and Her Honey (9781622860791) Page 13