by T. S. Joyce
Kiera looked gorgeous, staring at him with open, vulnerable blue eyes—blue now because her lioness wasn’t some dead thing inside of her anymore. Beast had released her, just like she deserved, which wouldn’t have worked if Kiera didn’t love him. It wouldn’t have worked if she didn’t see him as her mate.
Fuck, she was his mate. A single mate. Lions weren’t supposed to do that—choose one. But silverbacks weren’t either, and Callum had picked one mate, even though he was supposed to be in charge of a family group. Was it that unbelievable that Beast had bonded to Kiera after watching Callum devote himself entirely to one woman? Hell no. Beast was following a similar path in his search for happiness, and maybe two years ago, when he was king of his territory and had the world at his feet, that would’ve bothered him. But now, he had nothing but the Blackwings and Kiera…and that tiny bump pushing against her fitted sweater dress.
Dustin pulled to a stop at a T in the road. One way led back to Kane’s Mountains, one to the highway. “What’ll it be, Beast-Man?” Dustin asked softly. “Ashville or the trailer park to say goodbye.”
Beast watched Kiera’s face as he answered, “The trailer park.” Heartbreak slashed through her eyes for a moment before he continued. “I’ll be driving us to Ashville, just Kiera and me. This is lion business—”
“No, this is crew business,” Dustin argued. He smelled pissed. “I set up this meeting. I’m going as your backup.”
“You’ll stay here with your mate and wait for us to come back, and you won’t utter a word of this to the D-Team because I can’t join the crew until I fix this.”
Dustin shook his head and twisted in his seat, “But Beast—”
“Dustin, I’m saving your life because you’re my friend.”
Dustin froze, and then his mouth flopped open.
“I’ll bring her back,” Beast promised. God, he hoped he could follow through. “But Justin won’t come alone, and you’ll be used as leverage. You’re a submissive werewolf. You’ll be a target, and I can’t keep my head where it needs to be if I’m pulled in different directions. Do you understand?”
Dustin nodded once, gripped the steering wheel with one hand, and took a right toward Kane’s Mountains.
Kiera’s hand slid over Beast’s tense thigh, and he rolled his eyes closed at how good it felt to have her touch him again. He sighed and lifted his arm over her, pulled her in close against his ribs, and kissed the top of her head as he watched the Smoky Mountains blur by the window. Or at least he tried. Beast couldn’t help that his attention dipped time and time again to her stomach. She wasn’t wearing the baggy sweaters anymore to conceal her pregnancy, but something form-fitting instead. He wanted to touch her but was hesitant. Kiera seemed to know just what he needed and pulled his hand slowly over the curve of her tummy and pressed his palm there with hers, just held him as she looked up into his eyes. In this moment—the one where he touched not only his mate but the life she carried too—everything changed.
He’d never wanted anything more than what he had right here.
Silently, Beast swore an oath to himself that he would make her life safe again, no matter the cost to him.
He’d lost everything once, and he couldn’t do that again. He wouldn’t survive it.
His real options were to walk away from the woman he loved and leave her unprotected, or go to war with her pride for her freedom.
War it was.
Chapter Twelve
Kiera watched the night woods blur by the highway. It had taken a while to pack and load up Beast’s truck, and they’d stopped to eat dinner, so now it was late to be driving to Asheville. She liked the slower pace, though, because it meant she got more quality time with Beast.
“I’ve done this before,” Beast murmured over the soft hum of rock music that drifted through the stereo speakers.
Kiera reached forward and turned down the music. He hadn’t spoken for a while and had seemed lost in thought, so she didn’t want to miss any of this conversation. “You’ve done what before?” Kiera asked, holding tighter to his hand. She’d been clingy because she was scared, but he wasn’t balking against her touch anymore.
“One of my pride females got pregnant.”
“What?” she asked, shocked.
“I was five years into my rein, and she was a little thing. Petite for a lioness. Fine-boned, submissive. She told me the second she suspected it, and I was so scared to hope that we kept it to ourselves. We didn’t want to get the other female’s hopes up that maybe I wasn’t…you know.” Sterile.
Kiera lifted his hand to her cheek and let it rest there. “What happened?”
“Alisha went to the doctor. The pregnancy was confirmed, and I was just…” Beast shook his head and had this faraway smile as he blew down Interstate 74. “I was so fuckin’ happy. And it wasn’t about not being a failure anymore. I was just so happy I was gonna be a dad. I had all these imaginings of little league baseball games, birthday parties, and first day of school pictures. I had it in my head it was a boy. I was gonna raise him to be a good lion, like Callum had raised me. I was gonna teach him how to survive this life. I was gonna take care of him. I bought this little outfit. Daddy’s little manimal was written across the front. And it had a picture of this cartoon lion on the butt. Cutest fuckin’ thing you’ve ever seen. Tiny. I would pull it out and just sit on the bed and hold that little outfit in my hands and imagine what it would be like holding my son. I thought about naming him after the man who stepped in and raised me.” Beast inhaled deeply and expelled the breath. “We planned a party to tell the rest of the pride, but two days before, Alisha started bleeding.” Beast opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He swallowed hard and shook his head.
Kiera laid tiny kisses on his knuckles as her heart broke for him.
“The way I reacted when I found out you were pregnant…” He gave her a raw look that pleaded understanding. “It wasn’t that I was angry that it was another man’s baby, Kiera. I mean, I would’ve loved that for us. I would’ve loved for you to carry my child someday. The anger wasn’t about that though. It was that I could see I was going to go through the same thing again. I was going to get my hopes up, and the baby would be taken away. And you…” Beast swallowed hard before he continued. “You were going to be taken away because of the baby.”
“I didn’t think I wanted to be a mother,” she admitted in a whisper.
Beast tossed her a frown, but she couldn’t hold his gaze so she gave her attention to tracing figure 8s around his knuckles. “Apex did something awful to my insides, Beast. I have no gauge for normal. They messed with my brain.” She gestured to the side of her head with the scars that were hidden by her hair. “My memories of my life before are blurry now. I forgot a lot about my mom. Memories I wanted to keep forever got jumbled the more experiments they did. I would stay awake at nights and repeat memories over and over so I could try to keep them. I would think of my mom’s smile a hundred times before I went to sleep. That was the ritual, so I could keep her, because I could feel my lioness fading every day. They said I was the fastest cleanse they’d ever done, like it was some good thing. Something to brag about. Something that deserved a pat on the back. My lioness gave up the fastest. I gave up the fastest. I thought if I didn’t fight, I would get to keep more of my mom.” She pressed her lips against the back of his strong hand.
“Did you?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t want to be a mom because I couldn’t remember all the good stuff my mom did for me, and I was convinced that I wouldn’t have the right instincts to be a good one. Not after Apex. But then I got pregnant. I saw that test, and it was positive. I waited for the freak-out. I waited for that gut-wrenching I’ve made a mistake feeling, but it never came. I was overcome with this protectiveness instead. I wanted the baby to have the best life, even if that didn’t include me. What could I do against Justin and an entire pride? I can’t even Change to protect my child. I felt like I couldn’t do this on my own.
I wasn’t enough on my own to protect the baby from the Tarian Pride. I ran from Chicago, away from Justin’s reach within three days of that first test, and I’ve been at war with myself ever since.”
“About whether to keep it?”
“Yeah. It tortured me—the back and forth. But then I met you, and everything happened so fast.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the feelings. I thought it was hormones at first, but there was something about you from the first second I saw you that terrified me and made you so unavoidable all at once. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. You were so, sooo different from what I’d heard about. You’re good, Beast.”
“I’m not.”
“You are. And you’re good for me. I made my decision.” She pulled his hand over her belly again. He couldn’t seem to stop touching it anyway. “I want to keep it. I want to raise it. And I want you to be there. You feel important to me. You make me feel safe, and for me, that’s a really big deal, Beast.”
“You are safe, Kiera. You both are.” His voice rang with such honesty, she smiled. Plus, she didn’t know if he realized it, but he was gently rubbing her belly, back and forth, back and forth. The baby was going crazy. It felt like a swarm of bats in her stomach right now, and it tickled.
She giggled, and a big kick bumped right where Beast’s hand was. Kiera gasped. “Please tell me you felt that.”
Beast had frozen right where it had hit, and he looked at her with such a shocked face, she couldn’t help her breathless laugh.
“Was that a kick?” he asked.
“It was! I haven’t felt any on the outside yet, but that was a big one. You felt it?”
“I definitely felt something. It was like…” He grinned so big. “It was like feeling a single little heartbeat against my hand.
The bats were fluttering again. “It’s still kicking!”
Beast took an exit off the highway and maneuvered the truck onto an old one-lane road, his palm firm against her belly as he drove his Raptor with one hand. “Hang on, hang on, hang on,” he murmured distractedly, pulling over to the side of the dark road. “Come here,” he said, shoving his seat back as far as it went.
With a squeak, Kiera let him guide her over the console and onto his lap. She was wearing a sweater dress, so she pulled it up above the curve of her stomach and placed his hands on either side of her belly, just under her ribs. Beast was staring at her stomach as though mesmerized, stroking his thumbs softly against her taut skin. “I got to feel the first outside kick?” he asked.
Kiera nodded. Her face hurt from smiling so big. She’d never in a million years thought she was going to share a moment like this with someone, and now she was here with Beast.
The fluttering intensified, and then there was another big bump. Beast missed it, but she pulled his hand over fast, right near her belly button, and there was another hard kick.
Beast went rigid, spine straight like he’d been electrocuted. His gaze collided with hers. “I felt it,” he whispered in awe. “That’s a baby.”
Excitedly, Kiera bounced up and down on his lap and grabbed his shoulders, shook him gently. “I’ve been waiting so long for outside kicks!”
“Here,” he murmured, pulling her hand over the spot he’d felt the last one. He pressed her fingertips there and studied her face as they both waited. The baby kicked on the other side, just out of her range. With a gasp, she chased it, and he followed, palm firm on top of hers.
The baby kicked again, and this time she felt it. This was everything. Sitting here in the truck, straddling the man she loved, chasing baby kicks with soft rock playing in the background and that stunning smile on Beast’s face.
“Maybe the baby was waiting for me to make my decision before it kicked like this,” she whispered.
“Or maybe you just needed to drink those four large glasses of orange juice at dinner,” Beast teased.
She nudged him in the arm and tried to look severe. “It was fresh-squeezed, and I was thirsty.”
“Mmm, and now I’m thirsty,” he murmured, leaned forward into her. He sucked gently on her neck.
Kiera’s body turned to water. It was waves, and Beast was the moon, controlling her movement. Chasing his warmth, her skin stayed on his as he eased back. With a happy sigh, she slid her arms over his shoulders, arched her back, and pressed against him. She’d almost lost this connection. She’d come so close to having to compare any man who followed to Beast. He trailed his fingertips down her throat, to her collar bone, to her breast. His lips were so soft against her neck—hard suck, soft kiss, hard suck. He wasn’t rushing them, no. He was making sure she knew he adored her—by touch.
The road was dark and some distance off the interstate. It was surrounded by shadowed woods, but still, Kiera didn’t want to be caught in a compromising position. Visions of police officers with flashlights knocking on the steamed-up window flashed through her mind as she glanced up the road to make sure they were safe.
“Eyes on me,” Beast murmured against her neck. How had he known? Perhaps he could now sense her focus. Was that what bonds did? She could definitely feel something coming from him. Happiness? Did a broken man like Beast know that emotion? God, she hoped so, and she hoped she was the one who helped him keep it.
Beast trailed his sucking kisses to the other side of her throat. He would make bruises if she were still human, but already, Kiera could feel the hickey’s cooling as though she’d put ice on them. Another wave of relief washed over her, and with the emotion came a soft sound from deep down inside of her.
It was a rattling sound that pulsed in waves, louder then softer. She was purring for the first time since her animal had been taken from her. Wild lions couldn’t make this sound, but shifters could. She could.
Beast stilled against her, and his lips curved into a smile against her neck. “There you are,” he murmured.
Her sweater dress had a deep V at the neck, and Beast curled his fingers into the opening and yanked it to the side. When he cupped her breast, she arched against him again. He wasn’t even touching skin since the lace of her bra separated them, but she was so sensitive. The shoulder of her dress was dragged down her arm, exposing her skin to the air. Where Beast trailed fire with his fingertips, his lips followed, kissing her gently down her neck to the tip of her collarbone. Kiera was panting already. The man still had on all his clothes, but he’d seduced her entirely, body and soul. Desperation clawed at her heart to be closer to him, but it warred with letting him take control. She’d always been on her own, unsafe, uncared for, and here was this giant of a man, more animal than anything else, who was making sex easy. So easy. So enjoyable. No thinking required on her part, he was leading. All she had to do was follow.
Beast eased back and teased her with an almost kiss that had her chasing his lips. He was smiling such a wicked expression she couldn’t look away from him now if she tried. Eyes on me.
He began to pull the other side of her dress down her shoulder and dragged his gaze away from hers, eyes following his own fingertips as he slid it from her skin. “So soft,” he whispered. His touch left her skin, but not for long. Beast traced her new claiming mark scar. “Soft but not fragile.”
He cupped the back of her neck and dragged her forward until his lips were right over his bite mark. His hands went to her hips, and now he was smiling against her skin again. Maybe because she sighed out a helpless sound when his hands touched the sensitive skin over her ribs.
A soft snarl rattled in his throat. Sexy, and probably as close to a purr as a feral man like Beast would ever get. Kiera wanted to feel it. With trembling fingers, she lifted the hem of his black sweater. His abs flinched at her touch, and the snarl in his throat kicked up a notch, but the devilish glint in his gold eyes said it wasn’t a bad thing. Maybe he would always be surprised by touch. Kiera returned his naughty smile and dragged her nails up his torso slowly as she lifted his shirt. He kissed her, hands sliding up her back to her bra. The shar
p snick of her bra being released was an extra note in the soft song that played. His lips moved against hers so smoothly, as if he already knew what she liked. God, she loved how confident he was. Only when he’d pushed his tongue past her lips and brushed it against hers enough times to get her heart pounding did he ease back and allow her to pull his sweater over his head the rest of the way. He slid his hand into her loose bra, and cupped her breast as his lips collided with hers again, more urgent, more demanding. The snarl in his throat was louder now, as was the purr in hers. Hard and soft. Beast was harsh and rough around the edges. He was a stony wall of muscle, where she was curves. He was a wild animal, and she was steady. He was the storm, and she was the quiet.
Overcome with emotion, she whispered between kisses, “I love you.”
He didn’t respond with words, and she hadn’t expected him to. Instead, he eased back and searched her eyes, and then slowly, he dragged her palm right over his pounding heartbeat. It was racing so fast as his chest heaved with his quickened breath. The snarl softened under her touch.
Kiera smiled because she understood.
“Want to feel you,” he rumbled, hooking his fingers into the front of her panties. “You wet for me yet, Kiera?”
“Always.”
He let off a groan as he slid his fingers down her wet folds. “Fffuck.”
Riip. Riip.
Kiera stared in shock as her favorite pair of panties hit the passenger’s seat in a tiny pile of shredded material. “Monster,” she accused him.
“Mmm hmm,” he agreed, hooking his hands behind her knees and jerking her forward, closer to his hips.
His lips were everything. All-consuming, sucking, biting her bottom lip, tongue stroking into her mouth. How had she lived up until this point without these feelings? Happy, safe, taken care of…whole. She’d been half a person, and Beast had just come into her life and shoved himself into the spaces left vacant by the grit of her life. He’d stopped the hemorrhaging, stopped the hurt, just by being his complicated, sexy, dominant, sweet-on-the-inside self.