by Barb Shuler
“Enough, boys. She’s fine.” Ma said as she stood. “Come on, lunch is ready. We have to go get our tree today. So y'all gotta call it an early night. We’ll go before supper.”
“Already?” Pops asked. The scowl on his brow made me chuckle as I pulled Georgie to her feet and wrapped my arms around her. I brushed a gentle kiss against her lips and rubbed at her back. She was shaking. Damn.
“Joseph, tomorrow is December first. You know the deal. Our tree will be up by then,” Ma said, fussing with the apron she wore. That tone said it was a done deal, and there was no reason to argue, ‘cause he was gonna lose.
We all sat down for lunch as we did everyday. Talking, eating and enjoying the time together. Georgie was quiet, but I knew she was just upset that Abbie was hurt on her watch. She’d have to get used to the bumps and pinches the kid was gonna get. I had completely had a melt down the first time she rolled off the couch. That was before Georgie though, no need to open that can of man tears now. We all went through the same things as kids, and we turned out just fine. Well, mostly. Jon was a special snowflake, as Phoebe would call him. I laughed at my thoughts and drew the eyes of everyone around me. I shook it off as I took another bite of food. We had so much to do still.. and now a trip to the big ass tree lot in town was added to it.
Once everyone was finished eating we got up and put our coats and gloves back on. I pulled Georgie back against me before I stepped outside. I kissed her softly before pulling back.
“Stop stressing. Abbie is fine. She is a toddler… these things will happen,” I said, my voice low as I pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth.
“I know. But I don’t fucking like it,” she growled and I swear I felt my pants getting tighter. To hear her curse like that. The urges she had to keep my daughter safe… it was almost my undoing. I leaned down and kissed her hard. She moaned as my tongue slipped into her mouth and swept across hers. Ego boost.. Check.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Get a room,” Jon growled out as he stalked by, making sure he scowled at me but I saw the wink he gave her. Asshat. I ignored him and kissed her again. When I pulled back her cheeks were flushed and I couldn't help but to grin.
“Get your butt out that door before I get my broom,” I heard Ma call out. I chuckled.
“Yes, ma’am. I'm going.” I kissed Georgie again and scooted around her. My hand swatted her ass playfully. She gasped and gave me a dirty look as I pushed out the back door. My Georgie girl wasn't a touchy-feely kind of person, and hated to have her ass touched but I was slowly breaking her of that. I loved her perfect ass. There was no way to stop the pats and swats.
* * *
Georgie
* * *
He was gonna pay for that ass slap. Ugh, I loved that silly man. I truly did. He’d stolen my heart, even with us not knowing each other long, I can't imagine life without him in it now. And Abbie, the sweet little angel that was just like her daddy had stolen my heart the first time I'd held her.
Speaking of my little cherub, I scooped her up out of her high chair and kissed her cheek.
“You want to help me and your nana decorate some more? But no sticking your fingers in anything this time. Seriously, princess, my heart can't take that. Not for another thirty years. Kay?”
I chuckled at myself as Abbie bounced in my arms and babbled. Tango’s collar jingled now from where Abigail and I had put a jingle bell on it. At least the shit couldn't sneak up on me right now. We’d untie it later, for now that scarf was too cute and kingly to take off.
“Where should we start?” I said, spinning us around in a little circle. I kept Abbie tucked against me so she didn't get jostled. A jostled baby became a spewing baby. No puking baby today. This kid had looked like that Regan chick from the exorcist the other night. Ugh, no thank you. I moved to turn the stereo back on, letting the soft seasonal songs fill the room before I moved Abbie to her playpen. Let's play it safe this time.
I moved to the clear totes and boxes of decorations and pulled them out one by one. Abigail and I had a lot to get done before we left to find a tree.
Four and a half hours moved by so fast it wasn't until the family had come in to freshen up that I realized the time. That was two hours ago. Now we were back at the house, and the boys were fighting to get the tree inside and in the corner where Abigail wanted it. It was a massive tree. Nine foot tall and I swear it had to be six foot wide. It was perfect, though. There would be room for Abigail's angel on the top. That seemed to be her only concern.
As the boys worked on cutting the netting and letting the tree fluff itself out, I moved to the radio. I swear they have all rubbed off on me with this thing. There wasn't a lot of TV watched but that stereo seemed to never turn off.
A couple of songs had passed, we sang along and clapped as the tree fell open in all of its beautiful glory. My heart squeezed a little. My PaPa, God, I missed him so much. This would’ve been my first Christmas alone if not for this family. God truly knew what I needed that day as I climbed into my truck.
The next song that came on brought tears to my eyes. It flooded my mind and heart with the happy moments I'd had with my Papa. I kissed Abbie’s cheek as I spun her a little and started singing along.
* * *
In this life we all go through hard times
When we struggle and pray for a lifeline
Just needing someone
To show us the way
To you the glass might seem half empty
But it's half full to those without any
So hold on to hope
And try to have faith
Oh, you've got to have faith
If there's just one secret to living
Whoever you are
It's learning the meaning of giving
With an open heart/With an open heart
* * *
By the time I really got into it I noticed everyone was watching me. I grinned as I danced a little across to Tate and kissed his cheek before dancing back to the tree with Abbie. This song and the movie that accompanied it had been at a critical time in my life. I was twelve, in the hospital with appendicitis and waiting to go under the knife. Yep, Thanksgiving night I was in the hospital. The movie Secret of Giving with Reba McEntire debuted and was on in the hospital. PaPa and I laid in bed, me curled into him as we watched it. He’d explained what the song meant to him. What giving was about. And that year for Christmas we’d started donating toys and gifts to the local children's hospital. It's the season of giving he’d said, and it was. This season I was giving my all to my new family.
17
Christmas Memories
Georgie
With Christmas morning a few hours away - literally - I've found myself sitting on the couch, my little Cherub in my arms as she sleeps and my eyes glued to this massive tree. The memories I have from the night it was put up, and decorated are now mixed with the memories I have of the years I had with my PaPa. Decorating the tree was always the best part for me. When I was little I'd get to put the topper on and know it belonged to my grandmother’s grandmother, and had traveled down through the years to my Grammy, then it was handed down to my Mama when she and daddy got married.
After she died that star was one of the many things PaPa had taken and put up to keep for me. He made sure I knew the story behind it when I received it for Christmas when I was… five. No, I was six. I remember that story like it was told to me yesterday. Every word was ingrained into my soul.
“PaPa… what's this?” I asked as I pulled the beat up looking thing in the wooden box before me. My brow wrinkled as he chuckled. He joined me on the floor and pulled me and the box to his lap.
“Well, Georgie Girl, this belonged to your great, great, great, great-” He paused and I could see him counting on his fingers. I giggled and he grinned at me. “Well, lets just say it's very old. It’s been in your Grammy’s family for a very long time. Each time the eldest daughter got married after it was created it was handed down to the daugh
ter for her first married Christmas.”
“Why, PaPa?”
“Tradition, my girl. Tradition. Like how you and I always watch Rudolph and Frosty on Christmas Eve. That's our tradition. Passing this ornament was theirs. It was your mama’s, I think she’d want you to have it now.”
He had smiled and I ran my fingers over it. It was a metal star. There were small round holes along the edges and it was wobbly on the piece that the tree went into. I smiled as I looked at the scratches and dents in it.
“So now this is a tradition, PaPa?” I had asked, looking up at him.
“Yes. We will put it on the tree in some capacity every year.”
“I love it. Let’s put it on now!”
* * *
I pulled myself from that memory and smiled, tears rolling down my cheeks. I really missed that man. My heart would forever have a hole in it. Abbie stirred in my arms and I shifted her to my shoulder as I stood. I moved over to the tree and I ran my finger over the small piece of that same star. We’d had to make it into an ornament a few years after that because it was so old it just wouldn't hold up anymore. Come to find out it was really stinking old. It was made around the early 1800’s by the husband of one of my great grandmothers…. It stemmed back through six generations. I was generation seven. So yeah, it had seen its good ole days. Old or not though, it was a treasured piece. One I'd always keep.
The wreck I'd had a few months ago had destroyed the box this piece and the two like it were in. The pieces had fared better than the box, but not much. They'd been placed back in another box and put up, but I had to have one of them on the tree. I had to have a piece of PaPa with me. This poor ornament had some serious damage - as in a few more dents and a long scratch across it - but I didn't care. It let me have a piece of my family here with me. I kissed my fingers and placed them against the cool metal.
I took a minute to compose myself before I started to back away from the tree. I was a few steps away from the tree when I ran into something. I squealed and heard Tango’s claws scraping against the floor as he came over to investigate the noise. I turned to find Tate standing there watching me. I blinked a few times and wiped at my face. Crap, how long had he been there? He must be part ninja, he was always sneaking up on me. My noise making had woken Abbie and she was a sour little thing when she first woke up. I cursed to myself and rocked her slightly to calm her.
“Shhh, it's okay, princess, daddy just scared the tinsel out of me.” I gave him a grin when he laughed. Okay, so it may have sucked as a joke, but come on, at 2 a.m. it's as good as I get. He pulled me and Abbie to him. The sorrow that had crept in and filled my heart was washed out by the love I felt from him. His lips brushed my cheek and I smiled.
“You all right, baby? Is Abbie?” His words were soft but I could see the worry in his face when his gaze met mine. I reached up and cupped his cheek with my free hand as I nodded.
“Abbie was a little fussy, but a few minutes of Rudolph and some cuddles had her back out. She's okay,” I kept my voice low as I spoke. “I’m-” I paused and sighed.
“What is it, Georgie? Come on, let me take her back to bed and we can talk. Okay?”
“Okay,” I said, shifting the cherub from my arms to her dad’s. I kissed her cheek and watched them walk up to the door way and up the stairs. Tango hesitated and I chuckled. “Go on, I'm okay.” As if he understood me he ran up the stairs after them.
I moved into the kitchen with a small smile still on my face. I opened the fridge, and after scanning it for a moment I pulled out the jug of milk, grabbed a couple of mugs and a small sauce pan. The milk went into the pan and I put the milk back and grabbed the cocoa, sugar and the bag of mini marshmallows. By the time Tate came back down I had the now warm, thick and sweet hot cocoa in mugs with the marshmallows on top.
“You sure know the way to my heart, don't ya?” Tate said as he took a tentative sip from his mug. I knew he loved his Mama’s cocoa - hell, we all did - but mine wasn't half bad. I smiled and leaned up on my tip toes to kiss his lips.
“I guess I do.” I leaned into his broad chest as I spoke.
“Come on, I have something for you,” he spoke as he took my hand and pulled me back out to the living room. I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth and grinned. Yeah, so I guttered that. So sue me.
“What are you doing?” I asked as he moved over to the tree and rummaged around under it. “Tate?”
“Hold on. Ah ha! Got it,” he said as he stood back to his full height.
There was a small red covered package in his hand when he joined me on the couch. I raised a brow as he took my mug of cocoa and sat it on the coffee table. He took my hand and leaned in to give me a toe curling kiss. I grumbled when he pulled back. He gently took my hand and placed the box there.
“Open it, baby.”
My hands shook as I shifted on the couch so I could see him better. His face was lit up by more than the lights from the tree. That smile of his, the dimples, man, my heart was skittering around like a hummingbird on a sugar high. I pulled the top off the box and froze. My mouth opened with a gasp as I got a good look at the jewelry before me. My free hand rose and I skimmed a finger along the bracelet and charms that lay against the white cotton in the box. There were a lot of small charms, and as I got a good look at them all the tears started again.
“You like it?” I looked up at Tate and shook my head slightly. I didn't like it, I absolutely loved it.
When the look of hurt and disappointment crossed his face I shifted to straddle his lap, the box gripped in my hand. My mouth moved to his and I kissed him hard. His arms wrapped around me and I was pulled closer to his body. I pulled back from his mouth and cupped his face.
“You asked… if I liked it. I- I don't like it, baby, I love it,” I whispered as I kissed his lips again. I shifted slightly so I was sitting in his lap. He grumbled and I couldn't help but chuckle. I ran my fingers over the bracelet again before he removed it from the box and fastened the clasp.
“I wanted something special for you. Something new, but something old too. I had one of the ornaments, the one that was all but ripped in half melted down and these charms were made from it.” I gasped as I turned to face him. There was a small pang of loss but the thing had been destroyed in the wreck. I looked between him and the bracelet.
“Tate… you… oh, my God.”
“I'm sorry baby, I should have asked but I didn't want to ruin the surp-”
I kissed him, cutting his last words off. “Don't.” I snuggled into his neck as his arms wrapped around me. “Thank you. I love it. This will be something I cherish until the day I leave this earth.”
“I love you,” he said and my head tipped back so he could kiss me.
“I love you, too. Now, tell me about my charms.” I was like a kid again.
“Well, okay.” He chuckled. “There are a few we made from your star. This one,” he said pointing to a dog. One that looked a helluva lot like Tango. Then there was a star, a wooden box, and a flat charm in the shape of Georgia with a heart and a peach stamped into it. The next one he pointed out looked like a lace doily, like the one I had in my jewelry box that was my great grandmothers. I gasped and turned back to his face. His gaze bore into me. Like a fire and balm all at once to ease my aching soul.
“These are all things I brought with me from my PaPa’s house…” I choked out a sob on the last word. His arms tightened around me and I laid there for a moment.
“This one,” he said, his finger skimming against it made me laugh a little as I wiped my face clean of tears.
“A bear?” I laughed again.
“Yes, your first hunting adventure. Then there is this one,” his finger brushed against a set of bull horns. “This one marks the first time I saw you. Even if I was an asshole to you.” He leaned down and kissed my lips softly.
“And, these other ones, they’re all sterling silver, to accompany the steel of your others. Ma and Pops got you a pair of boxing gloves, caus
e you're scrappy.”
We both laughed at that one. The rumble of his chest eased me even more.
“The boys, Abe, Jon and Danny got you these. This is a hay bale, a coiled rope - even though Jon said it's a whip, it's not - and a horse. They wanted you to have a piece of the ranch. Phoebe wanted you to have a cross, for your moments of clarity and prayers. You always have such faith in everyone. Now you can have a piece of faith with you.”
The tears had started again. Everything had such a meaning to them. I'd treasure this until I took my last breath. When Tate cleared his throat I looked back up at him.
“Last, but not least, this one is from Abbie.” His finger skimmed over a charm that literally made my heart stop.
“Tate…”
“You mean so much to us all. Abbie loves you, I can see it. You're hers and she is yours. This one was fitting.” He kissed my head as I ran a finger over the charm of the little girl. It was my favorite instantly. I squeezed my eyes shut and curled into him.
“I love you all so much. I'm so glad I have you guys.”
“We feel the same way.” I jerked hearing movement behind us and turned to see everyone sitting on the stairs. I laughed as tears started falling, yet again. I jumped up as they got up and I hugged them all super tight. This had gone from the worst Christmas to the best, because I had them in my life.
18
A New Year, A New Start
Tate
I was nervous about tonight. My heart was hammering. I felt my pockets for what must have been the thousandth time. I wanted tonight to be perfect. The last couple of weeks had been hard to navigate at times. We’d had a perfect Thanksgiving day, and then had to deal with my stupid ass cousin’s so called trial. Needless to say he won't be anywhere around here again anytime soon. The restraining order sets him no closer than five hundred foot, however, my gun says more. That was all easily settled and life leading up to Christmas had been full of laughter, joy and the start of many new traditions for us all.