by Penny Jordan
Lyle was standing by the kitchen table when she walked in, gulping down a mug of coffee. The work on the new kitchen was due to start the moment the boys were back at school, and much as Jessica longed for her new kitchen, she was dreading the upheaval.
‘James is looking rather peaky,’ she told him. ‘Too many green apples, I suspect.’
‘Umm, I’ll go up and take a look at him. By the way, Andrea’s phoned, and I’ve confirmed that we’ll be able to make it on Saturday night. What’s wrong?’ he jeered, watching her face. ‘Can’t you stomach the thought of seeing Chalmers with your sister—his wife?’ he reinforced before turning on his heel and heading for the hall.
It was just her luck that Andrea should have phoned while she was upstairs. Now there was no possibility of escaping from Saturday evening’s dinner party—or from Lyle.
He was back downstairs almost immediately, confirming her own diagnosis of James’s problem.
‘Keep him in bed this morning. I should think he’ll be well on the way to recovery by then.’
Lyle was proved right, and after a light lunch Jessica decided to take both boys into Oxford with her while she did some shopping. After the plum tree episode she had been reluctant to leave them alone for any length of time, and although both of them pulled faces at the thought of spending a sunny afternoon in the town, by the time she had driven there they were quite cheerful again.
After she had stowed away the food she had bought in the boot of her car, Jessica decided that it might be as well to buy something to wear for Andrea’s dinner party. As a single woman she had attended a good many formal and semi-formal dinners following the publication of her books, and for these occasions she had purchased several severe and very plain dresses specifically designed to reinforce the fact that she was a psychologist first and a woman second, but for some reason as she mentally reviewed these outfits, none of them seemed suitable for Saturday evening.
Oxford had several excellent boutiques, and she found exactly what she was looking for in one of them, although at first the very striking colour combination of the silk suit, with its deep golden-yellow straight skirt, and mingled saffron, sapphire-blue and deep dark-pink toning top struck her as being a little too adventurous for her taste.
However, when she tried the outfit on, and saw how the straight skirt and nipped-in waistline of the jacket flattered her figure, she closed her mind against the unsuitability of such a very feminine outfit for a woman who had hitherto deliberately ignored any clothes that might enhance her female attributes.
Luckily the shop was able to provide a pair of high-heeled deep-saffron sandals to go with the suit, and less than half an hour after walking into it Jessica was walking out again, carrying her parcels.
‘I liked you in it,’ Stuart commented as they headed back to the car. He seemed to think for a moment and then added, ‘It made me think of a hot sunny day.’
Jessica glanced at his down-bent head, thinking again how very artistic and sensitive Lyle’s elder son was. Once she would have assumed those traits came from his mother, but now she was not so sure. Lyle had displayed a core of sensitivity she had not expected, at least where his patients were concerned.
‘Yes. It made your hair look all pretty and shiny,’ James added stoutly, not to be outdone.
When they got home Jessica hung the suit carefully in her wardrobe so that any creases could drop out.
The decorations were now almost complete. Next week the new carpets would arrive and so would the covers she had had made for the furniture and the curtains.
It was frightening how quickly she had come to think of this house as ‘home’, too quickly, perhaps…
By Saturday she was in a state of tense nervousness, glad that Lyle had been called out during the afternoon, and half hoping that the emergency would mean that they would not be able to attend Andrea’s dinner party; but she heard Lyle’s car in the drive, just as she was giving the boys their evening meal.
A babysitter hadn’t been difficult to arrange. Lyle’s receptionist had a niece at home from university for the holidays who had gladly accepted the opportunity to earn a little extra money, and her father had arranged to drop her off half an hour before they were due to leave.
Lyle came into the kitchen, pausing to ruffle both boys’ hair. Stuart grinned back at him, all his previous truculence and reserve gone. If she had achieved nothing else at least she had given him this, Jessica thought, absorbed in the very normality of the small domestic scene.
‘What time are we due at Andrea’s?’ Lyle asked her, helping himself to one of the scones she had baked for the boys.
‘Half-past eight.’
She saw him glance at his watch, her stomach cramping distressingly at the sight of his sinewy brown arm. It was ridiculous that something as mundane as seeing a man glance at his watch should affect her so tormentingly; something she herself would have openly scoffed at had someone else related it to her, and yet here she was gripped by an almost feverish need to reach out and touch him.
‘Jessica, are you all right?’
Confusion momentarily shadowed her eyes at his sharply incisive tone. ‘Yes, yes, I’m fine.’
If only that were true, Jessica thought, hurriedly turning her back to him and busying herself pouring the boys glasses of homemade lemonade, but she was feeling far from fine. With a small shock she realised that for the last two days she had barely eaten a thing. Her appetite seemed to have totally deserted her since that fateful stormy night when she and Lyle had made love, but the tension growing inside her since Lyle’s announcement about tonight’s dinner had destroyed what small appetite she had had.
‘You look pale.’
Jessica heard the door into the hall open and released a shaky breath only to feel increased tremors of apprehension grip her when Lyle returned only seconds later, with a glass of brandy.
‘Here, drink this,’ he instructed her. ‘You look as though you need it.’
She wanted to refuse, but he was looking at her as though he would pour the spirit down her throat by force if she refused. She had seldom seen him look so angry since that first fateful encounter. The sympathy she had seen him exhibit towards the children when they felt off-colour was plainly not going to be forthcoming in her case.
He was still frowning at her as she took the glass from him. ‘Are you sure there’s nothing wrong?’
He was looking at her watchfully, and suddenly Jessica realised what was in his mind. As she had done, he was obviously thinking that she could have conceived his child, and was just as obviously not at all pleased at the thought.
Her own eyes hardening, Jessica took the glass from him and swallowed its contents. She wasn’t a drinker and the effect of the undiluted spirit on her stomach was immediate.
‘I’m perfectly well,’ she told him curtly, turning away from him to put the glass on the table, almost hating him for letting her see how little he relished the thought that she might be carrying his child.
It was doubly hurtful to remember Justine telling her how he had refused to allow Heather an abortion; no doubt in her case, had she been pregnant… Tears stung her eyes which she tried to deceive herself were the result of the undiluted brandy.
‘I’ll go up and shower now so that the bathroom’s free for you,’ she heard Lyle saying behind her, and surely it could only be the brandy that tormented her to point out to him that as a man and wife they could surely share the bathroom, but fortunately caution made her hold back the words and keep silent.
She heard the babysitter arrive while she was upstairs putting the finishing touches to her make-up. Lyle answered the door and Jessica hurried downstairs to introduce herself to Susan and her father.
She sensed from the firm handshake she received from the latter that part of his purpose in bringing his daughter round himself had been to assure himself as to their suitability to employ her, and Jessica felt herself warming to such a concerned parent.
After
refusing the drink Lyle offered, he excused himself, suggesting that he call to pick Susan up at one o’clock.
She had two younger brothers, Susan explained to Jessica as she introduced her to the boys, and indeed her manner towards them was friendly but firm.
‘That’s a lovely outfit you’re wearing,’ she complimented Jessica shyly.
‘Indeed it is.’
Jessica hadn’t heard Lyle come into the room, her nerve-endings jumping tensely as she registered his soft compliment. It would be foolish to place any importance on it. Quite obviously he was simply playing the devoted husband for Susan’s benefit. Smiling tautly at the younger girl, Jessica picked up her bag and headed for the door, leaving Lyle to follow her.
‘Do you want to drive or shall I?’
They were going in her car, and Jessica checked, slightly surprised. ‘I think I’d prefer to be a passenger,’ she told him. ‘This skirt is all too prone to crease.’
‘Mmm, silk, isn’t it?’ He reached out and took the fabric of her jacket between his thumb and finger, standing so close to her that she was immediately aware of the heat of his body. It took every ounce of willpower she possessed not to melt against him and beg him to take her in his arms.
Shaken by the violence of her feelings, Jessica stepped back, forgetting how high her heels were and stumbling slightly on the uneven drive. Instantly Lyle steadied her, his fingers curling round her arm, making her shiver in responsive delight.
‘Cold?’ He was frowning as he watched her, and Jessica knew why. It was a hot August night with no reason on earth why she should be feeling cold.
‘No, just fright. I thought I was going to fall for a moment.’
Fortunately he seemed to accept her explanation, releasing her immediately and walking over to the car to unlock the passenger door for her.
Her fear that once they were alone Lyle might bring up the subject of their marriage subsided a little when he made no attempt to speak, instead feeding a cassette into the machine, flooding the car with some of her favourite chamber music.
The journey seemed to last for ever, but eventually they were there, Andrea coming out to welcome them, laughing slightly as her ‘bulge’ got in the way as she hugged Jessica.
‘Just you wait until it’s your turn,’ she threatened teasingly when Jessica laughed.
Beside her Lyle tensed, and as easily as though she could read his mind Jessica knew what he was thinking. It was impossible to stop the faint touch of scorn edging up into her voice as she responded coolly to her sister’s teasing.
‘Well, it most definitely isn’t on the cards at the moment.’
Although it was Andrea she addressed her comment to, it was meant for Lyle, but conversely instead of making him relax it only seemed to increase his tension.
‘Come on inside and meet the others.’
Andrea had a new glow and self-confidence about her that had restored much of the spiritedness she seemed to have lost recently. Jessica noticed that she seemed far less inclined to cling to David, her manner assured and calm.
There were three other couples in the drawing-room; all the men were David’s colleagues, and Jessica recognised two of them as senior lecturers, no doubt invited so that David could indulge in some discreet lobbying, Jessica reflected wryly.
This aspect of the academic scene had never appealed to her; quite the reverse, and although she made no protest when David paraded her in front of his superiors, almost as though she were a prize exhibit in some sort of show, the gleam in her eyes should have warned him that she didn’t appreciate being used to further his career.
‘Jessica is shortly to submit another book to her publishers,’ David told them, smiling at her. ‘This time I believe the subject is ‘‘Love and its effect on Western Culture’’.’
Jessica was all too glad to escape on the pretext of giving Andrea a hand in the kitchen. As she tugged her arm away from David’s too-tight grip she noticed that Lyle was already deep in conversation with the wives of David’s colleagues; one of them, a particularly attractive woman in her late thirties, was standing so close to him that their bodies touched. Far from moving away whenever she came near him, Lyle seemed to be enjoying the light physical contact. The woman turned towards him, touching his arm in emphasis of some point she was making, and Jessica swallowed hard as she saw the way Lyle looked down into her animated face, jealousy seizing her body in a paralysing grip.
‘Jessica?’
Andrea was looking at her curiously. ‘Anything wrong?’
‘No.’
‘Umm, you look as though you need a strong drink. Have this, David made it for me.’ She grimaced faintly. ‘He seems to forget that in my present condition alcohol isn’t a good idea.’
Automatically Jessica took the glass her sister proffered, downing the contents quickly.
Andrea’s eyebrows rose. ‘My goodness, things have changed,’ she marvelled. ‘I’ve never seen you do that before.’
The gin and tonic had been far stronger than Jessica expected, hitting her stomach so explosively that she had to lean against the wall momentarily as she followed Andrea into the kitchen.
‘Everything’s organised,’ Andrea told her. ‘This hot weather is an ideal excuse not to bother with any complicated menus. I’ve done a cheese soufflé to start with, and provided we get everyone sitting down at the right time there won’t be any problems there. David bought me a new ice-cream-maker a couple of weeks ago, so I’ve experimented with lemon sorbet before the main course—salmon baked in herbs and a selection of vegetables, and then homemade ice-cream with fruit for dessert, plus a cheeseboard. David’s got in some vintage port that ought to go down well with the professors, or so he hopes.’
There was enough satirical indulgence in her sister’s voice for Jessica to glance at her rather sharply.
‘Oh, it’s all right, it’s just that since your marriage I’ve come to realise that David isn’t the God he’d like me to believe. Frankly, Jess, I feel far more comfortable now that I realise that he’s human just like everyone else. I don’t feel that I have to try as hard for one thing.’ She fiddled with some plates, her back to Jessica as she said wryly, ‘I think I knew all the time that you weren’t interested in him, but I wouldn’t admit the truth to myself. I used you as a defence mechanism, I suppose. Our marriage may not be ideal but so far it has worked, and I intend to see that it goes on working.’
If her sister continued to behave in this new, more spirited, determined fashion Jessica suspected that it probably would, although it would not have been a situation she could have lived with happily. David would continue to be unfaithful to her, and Andrea must know that.
‘Would you go through and herd them all into the dining-room? I think the soufflé’s just about ready. I’ve put place cards out,’ she pulled a face. ‘Personally I thought it was a bit stuffy, but David wants to make an impression.’
Going back into the drawing-room Jessica caught David’s eye as she moved towards him. He was already pouring out a fresh drink for the man standing with him, and automatically started to pour one for Jessica.
‘G and T for you, and don’t refuse, I saw you gulping down your last one. Not like you, Jess. Not suffering from the strain of marriage already, are you?’ He laughed at his own wit, causing Jessica to grit her teeth and accept the full glass he gave her.
‘Andrea wants everyone to sit down. The soufflé is just about ready.’
Leaving David to organise the male guests, Jessica hurried over to Lyle who was still talking to the women.
‘My dear, your husband is the most fascinating man,’ the oldest of the trio commented to Jessica, smiling at her. ‘But then I must confess that we do have an interest in common. I practised as a GP myself for several years before I married. Alas, being the wife of an academic is something of a fulltime activity, and so reluctantly I had to give up my career when the children came along.’
‘Personally I find doctors the most fascinatin
g men,’ the blonde standing next to Lyle said softly. ‘Perhaps it’s because they have such an insight into the feminine mystique.’
Jessica had a childish impulse to say something extremely rude. It was plain to see that the woman was trying to strike up a flirtation with Lyle, while he, damn him, was doing absolutely nothing to discourage her—far from it! Where was the austere coldness she was so accustomed to?
‘Oh good,’ Janet Holmes cooed enthusiastically to Lyle when they went into the dining-room. ‘I’m sitting next to you.’
It was ridiculous for a woman of nearly forty to behave in such an obvious way, Jessica thought nastily, sitting down next to Lyle. She was still holding the drink David had given her, and rather than disturb Andrea’s carefully organised table, she emptied her glass quickly, hurriedly disposing of it on a nearby small table.
It was only as she sat down that she realised how strong the drink was, and how potentially dangerous on an empty stomach. She could see Lyle frowning slightly at her, but strangely that no longer seemed to matter. Instead she was conscious of a pleasurable haze that seemed to grow rather than decrease as she toyed with Andrea’s rich cheese soufflé, and drank two glasses of deliciously chill white wine.
It was when Andrea was serving the salmon that Lyle bent towards her and murmured curtly, ‘I suggest you don’t have anything more to drink.’
David was already on his way round the table with a fresh bottle of wine—chosen especially to complement the salmon, she heard him saying to Janet Holmes. Lyle had not suggested that she had had too much to drink, Jessica thought bitterly, and the other woman had consumed as much as she had herself.
Who was Lyle anyway to tell her what she might and might not do? Wilfully she allowed David to fill her glass, even raising it mockingly in Lyle’s direction before taking a sip. The evening was beginning to take on a relaxed glow she had never expected; indeed she could not remember when she had last felt this relaxed about anything. If only this underlying feeling of tension would go away, though.