“You guessed right.” For the first time Eleanor smiled. She knew it was wrong to enjoy Joshua’s discomfort, but she had suffered enough over the past week to get a lift from it.
“Well, at least one good thing came out of all of this mess.” Joshua sidled as close as the center console would allow. “Since you’re no longer my employee, the company rules against dating aren’t an issue. We can concentrate on our relationship without any outside distractions.”
Two weeks ago she would have sold her soul to hear him say those words. Up until yesterday afternoon she would have believed what he was offering was too good to pass up. But no longer.
For years, she had been completely mesmerized by the idea of Joshua. The man she had built up in her mind, the one she had formed a restless infatuation with, was a perfect, infallible male icon. Discovering Joshua’s feet of clay as he ignored her completely in the hallway yesterday had not only surprised, but hurt her.
She was honest enough to admit that it wasn’t entirely his fault. No human being is perfect and truly no person could have lived up to the expectations she had created in her mind. Yet it was like being suddenly awakened from an incredible dream, and she harbored a trace of resentment toward the man who had jolted her away from her fantasy.
“There is no relationship, Joshua.”
There was confusion in his eyes. “I know you have feelings for me, Eleanor.”
She blushed. “The feelings I had, or thought I had, were all based on a myth. An inflated, unrealistic view I had of you. It wasn’t fair to me or you.”
“You can’t deny that we had a special time together. It meant something to me.”
“Yes, it was special.” Eleanor sighed and turned away, finding the intensity in his gaze unnerving. “But the reality was, we did everything that weekend exactly the way you wanted. You set the rules, from lying to your father about me being your girlfriend to the dress I wore to the party.
“As I told you more than once, I was just along for the ride. You were in control the entire time. It makes sense that you would now think it was very special, that I was special. Who wouldn’t be thrilled to have a companion who catered to their every whim? Who was agreeable, quickly made concessions, did whatever was necessary to appease?”
A shadow crossed his face. “It wasn’t like that,” Joshua protested.
Eleanor shook her head. “Yes it was. I’m not complaining. I had an incredible time, and I’ll never forget it. But it wasn’t based on reality. At least not the reality of who I am.”
He turned his head and forced her to meet his gaze. Their eyes locked, and something dark flashed between them. “That is pure bullshit.”
“That’s reality.”
Eleanor’s posture grew more rigid and she held her face carefully expressionless. It was the truth, though not perhaps the entire truth. He could still arouse emotions and feelings in her with a simple smile, but she wouldn’t be so easily won over.
“You’re afraid,” he whispered in amazement. “It isn’t me you doubt, but yourself.”
Eleanor squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. “Spare me the psychoanalysis.”
He glared over at her. “It’s the truth. You’re afraid, so you’re running away.”
“Oh, please. You sound like a badly written article in a teen magazine.”
He regarded her in silence for a long moment. “If you’re not afraid of a relationship between us, then prove it. Have dinner with me.”
Eleanor shook her head sadly. “I don’t have to prove anything, Joshua.”
He got a calculating look on his face that made her shiver. Eleanor inched slowly away from him, pressing her forehead against the edge of the warm glass of her half-opened window.
“I’m not willing to walk away from this so easily,” Joshua declared flatly.
“You have no choice.”
“There are always choices, Eleanor.”
The conversation was turning serious and obstinate. Eleanor glanced over at Joshua and felt slightly better when she saw a spark of mischief in his eyes. But she forced herself to ignore that hopeful glimmer.
Reminding herself it was for the best, she spoke the words that were swirling in her head. And yet even before they left her lips, she felt enveloped in a strange sense of loss.
“I’ve thought long and hard about this situation. Our backgrounds are too dissimilar, our expectations of life too opposite. The feelings and emotions we’ve experienced might be enticing, but they aren’t enough. I’ve made up my mind. It would be a mistake for us to even attempt a relationship.”
He opened the car door and exited without a word. Eleanor’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel as confusion gripped her. This was for the best, right?
He stalked over to the driver’s side of the car and leaned inside her window. “So, you’ve made up your mind about us?”
She nodded briskly.
“Well, sugar, it looks like I’ll just have to change it.”
The shrill ring of the phone echoed through Eleanor’s apartment. Out of habit, she glanced over at the digital clock, but it wasn’t necessary. She already knew it would read seven P.M.
She let the phone ring again, then a third time, took a deep breath, and lifted the receiver.
“It’s me,” a deep masculine voice said.
“I know. Hello, Joshua.”
“How are you?”
“Just fine. And yourself?”
“Lonely.”
Then get a dog. Or a girlfriend. Tonight she nearly said it, just to push his temper, but perversely admitted to herself that she didn’t want him to follow either suggestion.
“What’s new at the library?”
Eleanor sighed. He always began these nightly calls with the same questions. She hesitated, then finally blurted out what she had been thinking all week. “I can’t believe you are honestly interested in what went on at the library.”
His tone turned serious. “If it affects you, I’m interested. I enjoy hearing about your day.” He cleared his throat and the tone changed again—to upbeat, amused. “Tell me, what was the most difficult question you answered today?”
Eleanor twisted the cord around her index finger. “It wasn’t exactly difficult, but I had a tough time convincing a third grader that I didn’t have any books with a photograph of a woolly mammoth.”
Joshua laughed. “No photographs! What sort of establishment are you running, Ms. Graham?”
She smiled. “Not a very good one, according to this child. I showed him at least a dozen books with drawings and sketches, but he kept insisting on a photograph. He was very disappointed. I tried to explain, but I don’t think he believed me when I said there weren’t any cameras several million years ago.”
“Poor kid. You should have told him all the photos were destroyed when the earth froze.”
Eleanor shrugged and leaned against the cushioned arm of her couch. “He still took his disappointment better than the argument I had with a woman who wanted a library card. She told me she lived in a different town, but she owned land in our community and was entitled to a card. But when I asked to see a tax bill to prove that she pays property taxes, she didn’t have one. Turns out she owns a cemetery plot.”
“She equated a cemetery plot with owning land?”
“Apparently.” Eleanor could hear the smile in Joshua’s voice, could imagine it on his handsome face. A real, open, warm grin that made his beautiful eyes dance. “I tried to explain the rules to this woman, but she wasn’t listening. Finally I told her she won’t be entitled to a card until she actually takes up residence in our community. She didn’t think that was very amusing.”
“Impressive. Are you always so tough?”
“Oh, I’m a real people person,” she retorted lightly. Eleanor reached for the tall glass of lemonade she had fixed earlier and took a sip. “I saw the article in the Times this morning about Mr. Weston being indicted by a federal grand jury. Is everything all right?”
>
“I’ve got it all under control,” Joshua replied firmly. “I was aware ahead of time that this was coming. The firm will have limited liability in the case and hopefully limited publicity.”
“I’m glad,” Eleanor whispered. And she was. No matter what her jumbled feelings toward Joshua were, she had never truly wished him or the company any harm.
“Okay, enough about that. What are you wearing?”
“Joshua!” Eleanor laughed into the phone, marveling at how easily he could surprise her. Still, the erotic timbre of his voice made his question seem wickedly forbidden.
“Come on, throw me a crumb, Eleanor. What are you wearing?”
She glanced down at the oversized T-shirt and baggy shorts she had on. “Support hose, sensible black shoes, a gray dress with a high ruff collar and a hem that hangs below my knees.”
“Is your hair tied up in a bun?”
“Naturally.” Eleanor giggled. The man was impossible!
“Mmmmmm. Sexy. I like your hair piled up tight on your head. It looks so prim and proper. Makes it all the more fun to try and muss you up. Let’s see, first I’d take down that hair, pulling the pins out slowly, one by one. When they were finally gone, I’d massage your neck and make you shake the curls loose. Doesn’t that feel better, sugar?”
The hint of Southern twang in his voice had her sliding down on the couch. What should she do? Just one icy comment would completely kill the mood. The words hovered on her lips, but she hesitated. Should she be daring and play along?
“I-it does feel better. My hair. Hanging loose.”
Eleanor covered her mouth and groaned. She sounded like a moron.
“Good. Now we need to get rid of those shoes. I must confess, I’ve never liked the boxy, square-toe style on you. I like to see you wearing thin, spike heels. In red. Shows off those great calf muscles.”
“I’d fall off heels that high and thin and break my ankle,” Eleanor replied dryly, then winced, thinking she had unintentionally killed the mood.
“Perfect. I’d catch you as you fell. At this point, I’ll take any excuse to hold you in my arms.”
Eleanor slowly let out her breath. Nice save. Yet the silence on the other end of the line told her Joshua was waiting for her to say something. “W-what next?”
The deep growl he made was pure male excitement. “The support hose have got to go. But I’d peel them off slow and easy, letting my fingers glide over those smooth legs of yours, massaging your tired muscles until you were sighing with pleasure. Then I’d move higher, searching until I found that sweet, soft spot at the top of your inner thigh.”
“Oh my,” Eleanor whispered, as she felt the heat spread across her face. And other parts of her anatomy.
“Would you like that, darlin’? I know you would, so I’d keep at it, circling the same spot, lazily. Then your eyes would drift close. I’d start moving my fingers higher and higher, until I heard that catch in your breath, the little cry of excitement that lets me know how much you need me, how much you want me.”
Eleanor’s nipples sprang to erect attention. Sensations she thought she’d never experience again with Joshua started coursing through her. She knew if she protested he would stop at once, yet she felt helpless to resist the deep, sensual timbre of his voice.
“Could I have a kiss?” she whispered in a small voice.
He groaned. “A dozen. To start. First your sweet lips. I love the taste of your soft breath, the warmth of your tongue, that rumbling noise you make deep in the back of your throat. Then I’d let my lips travel, kissing you all over, sinking my mouth into your pale flesh until your skin starts to burn, until your body starts to soften.
“My hands would wander, too, and I’d stroke you gently, lightly where you are sweet and scented and made just for me. And I’d wait, anticipating that joyous moment when you’d start to make that purring, pleasured sound that tells me you are near the peak of your climax.”
Eleanor could hear herself panting. Her knuckles brushed against her neck and she could feel the heat on her skin, could almost imagine that it was Joshua’s firm lips caressing her fevered flesh.
“You’re just playing with me,” she croaked out.
“Ahh, sugar, you are my favorite toy. Unique, precious, irreplaceable. The only one I refuse to share with anyone.”
His toy? The whimper of need that was shuddering in her throat stilled. She waited for the anger and outrage to take hold, but his voice drifted over her indignation.
“I’d swing you on top of me, sprawled naked across my chest, so I could give myself the sheer pleasure of watching you move, so I could see as well as feel your body clamp down around me. Rising up a little faster and thrusting down a little harder.”
She bit her lip, tensing with expectation. He seemed to possess the power to so easily tap below the surface of her proper self and transform her into the passionate woman lurking inside. She had never tried the position he was suggesting, even though it had always intrigued her. How had he known?
Her mind formed a picture of them together. Joshua on his back, with her astride him. Their bodies joined tightly together, the heat surrounding them. Eleanor could almost feel the passion mounting, as she imagined his hands on her breasts, teasing her nipples to hard peaks, her thighs quivering tightly each time he surged up to fill her.
“If I’m on top, I’m in control,” Eleanor gulped.
“Sure you are,” he whispered seductively. “Completely in control. Of me, of us. And that’s where you’ll stay, as I fill your swollen flesh fully and deeply. Your back arched, your lovely face etched with passion, the climax building harder and faster until you sob my name in pure satisfaction.”
Eleanor barely managed to refrain from grinding her teeth. Her body felt alive with excitement, throbbing with need. She was drowning in a sensual onslaught brought on by his suggestive words, the mesmerizing way he spoke them, and the incredible images they produced.
She remembered reading in a woman’s magazine once that satisfying lovemaking was just as much a mental fulfillment as a physical release. She believed that now.
There was nothing on the other end of the line except the sound of harsh, deep, masculine breaths, telling Eleanor that Joshua was still on the phone.
“Wow. I think I need a cigarette,” she said weakly. “And I don’t even smoke.”
“Hell, Eleanor, I can be at your apartment in forty-five minutes.” His voice was harsh, raspy. “Thirty-five if I disregard the speed limit.”
“I don’t think that would be wise.” Eleanor blinked rapidly. What had she done? “It’s getting late and I ... ah ... have to go.”
He made a noise that sounded like steam escaping a radiator. Eleanor’s heart started thudding. “Good night, Joshua.”
Without waiting for a reply, she promptly hung up the phone.
Joshua heard the definitive click. It wasn’t a surprise, more of a disappointment. He had pushed her as far as he dared for tonight. Gently he punched the Off button on his portable phone and placed it on his desk.
He inhaled a ragged breath. His body was singing with sexual tension, so hard and aroused it was almost painful. She was killing him!
It was no contest. There had never been another woman in his life who excited him as much, who made him feel so alive and eager. She had something totally unique to offer him and no matter what it took, he was determined to get it.
He never had to try very hard to get women, never worked very hard at keeping them once he had them. Since his teenage years, women had always seemed to be easily and conveniently in his path.
Maybe this was what had been missing from his other relationships. The courting rituals. Joshua had actually started to enjoy the novelty of it, had been enticed and intrigued by the chase. Especially since Eleanor presented such a challenge. She wouldn’t be impressed by the obvious gestures, was in fact consciously resisting his advances.
And resisting, he was convinced, her own feelings. Joshua
was slightly miffed that after a week of nightly phone conversations she was still refusing to see him. But he was very determined to change that—and soon.
He needed a new plan of pursuit. One that would bring him in physical contact with her. He needed the added advantage of being able to attract her attention as well as being able to witness her reactions. She wasn’t very adept at hiding her true feelings, and he was counting on that honesty to guide him in his quest to win her over.
After a discrete knock, the door to his study opened.
“Dinner is ready, Mr. Barton. Would you like it served in here instead of the dining room? I can bring a tray in for you.”
Joshua glanced up in confusion at his middle-aged housekeeper. She had probably been placating his temperamental cook for the past half hour. Yet the last thing on Joshua’s mind right now was food.
“I’m not very hungry this evening. Please extend my apologies to Cook. I’m sure she has gone to a great deal of trouble, as always, but I couldn’t do justice to a meal. Have a plate made up that can be reheated in an hour or so. I’ll ring when I want it.”
He waited until his housekeeper had left before slowly rising to his feet. He was still excited by the thought of Eleanor, as evidenced by his physical arousal. With a grim smile he headed toward his private bath, intent on doing something he hadn’t done in years.
Take a long, ice-cold shower.
Thirteen
The tables were covered with books and puzzle pieces, scraps of paper and small pencils, piles of videotapes and stuffed animals. Two small chairs were tipped over and one of the computer screens was obviously malfunctioning, blinking a nearly blinding pattern over and over.
“It looks like a cyclone blew through here,” Rosalind commented wryly.
“The Peterson triplets.” Eleanor grinned at Rosalind, a fellow library assistant, as they surveyed the damage wrought to the children’s section. “Even with their mother, an aunt, and a grandmother along those three boys managed to destroy the place in ten minutes flat. A new record.”
“Did they at least check out any books?”
A Night to Remember Page 17