by Lori Selke
He shook his head and ran his fingers through his thick hair. “Shit, Olivia. You have to know you look half-dead. What’s going on?”
“If anything was going on that you needed to know about, I’d certainly tell you,” she said, pleased that she’d needled him. “But as you aren’t my father or even my friend, there’s nothing about me that’s any of your business.”
Once upon a time she’d have been happy to be his business. She been so in love with him she couldn’t hardly breathe when she was in the same room with him. But she’d gotten over her stupid crush. Not that seeing him didn’t make her stomach clench a little, but he was gorgeous and she wasn’t blind.
“I beg to differ,” he said, leaning in. “For one, we are friends and friends don’t let friends die without trying to help them. And for two—”
He broke off, but Olivia finished for him. “And for two, you’re a control freak who likes to stick his nose where it doesn’t belong.”
He grimaced and finally stepped away. Olivia drew a deep breath. When he was too close, it was hard to get air.
“So that was your boss?” Arash asked, going to pour them both a single-malt scotch. He handed her a glass. “Noah, wasn’t it?”
She took the drink and sipped, letting the fiery liquid slide down to warm her belly. “His name is Noah, yes.”
“You like him.” His eyes narrowed on her and Olivia fought the urge to look away.
“What if I do?”
“It raises the question—what’s he doing here with someone else? Why haven’t you taken him already?”
“Maybe I don’t want just to eat him,” Olivia said, the words tumbling out despite herself. She bit her lips, but it was too late.
His expression sharpened, and he set his glass down with a sharp click. “Just what the hell do you want?” he asked. “He’s human. He’s food.”
“He is not,” she said. “Not to me. He’s smart and he’s strong and sweet.”
Arash laughed and shook his head. “By the gods, Olivia. You can’t be serious. You aren’t in love with him, are you?”
He said the word love like it was the most ridiculous thing he’d ever heard.
Her hackles went up. “And if I am?”
He shook his head. “How do you expect to win him looking like you do? Have you seen yourself?”
Abruptly he grabbed her and dragged her over in front of a tall mirror. “What man would want to fuck a woman who looks like that?”
He was right. Her cheeks were sunken and her usually richly curled hair hung in limp hanks. Her skin was pallid and her bones pokes from beneath her skin. She looked anorexic, which was pretty much what she was. She met his hot stare in the window and yanked herself out of his grasp and put the couch between them.
“It’s temporary.”
He wasn’t impressed by the couch. He followed her, backing her up against a bookcase. “What does that mean?”
“It’s—” She swallowed. He smelled of sex, scotch and his own disturbingly masculine scent. Her stomach clenched with a hunger that had nothing to do with ordinary food and everything to do with sex. “It’s none of your business.”
“I’m making it my business.”
Suddenly her irritation flared into anger. She set her hands on his chest and shoved. Even starved as she was, she still had succubus strength. He fell back and then surged forward. His hands reached up to grab the bookcase on either side of her. Anger burned in his eyes.
“You’re starving yourself. For him? It makes no sense.”
She licked her lips and his gaze flicked down to watch. The burn in her stomach increased. Damn him! He was doing this on purpose. But she wasn’t going to be tempted. She almost had the humanity she wanted and she wasn’t going to fuck it up for him.
“It makes sense to me,” she said lamely.
His lifted his eyes again. They had grown hooded and heavy. “How does starving yourself make any sense at all?”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against hers. Instantly heat streaked through her, tingling in places she’d made herself not think about for a month.
She twisted. “Don’t.”
“Really?” he asked, nibbling along her jaw to the hollow where it met her neck. His tongue flicked out.
She moaned and turned to give him more access. A second later reason caught up with her and she shifted to her demon form and shoved him before leaping away to land on top of his desk, her claws gouging through the blotter into the wood.
“I said no, dammit,” she rasped.
He stared a moment, then he, too, shifted. With a frustrated sound he tore away his constricting clothing until he was naked.
Even in demon form he was gorgeous. Maybe more so. His skin was copper-gold. His hair remained black, but his eyes turned a brilliant green. Horns spiraled from his forehead and a ridge of black rose on his back, trailing down into a muscular wedge-shaped tail. It lashed slowly back and forth, like a cat about to pounce. Matte black wings folded against his back. His fingers lengthened, his fingers sheathed in black scales that curled into talons. His legs were broad and muscular, and his stomach was a rippled plane that would make any bodybuilder drool with envy.
Olivia’s body was just as sleek, but instead of copper-gold, she was a twilight lavender. Her back ridges, wings, and tail were a dark purple, along with her finger scales and talons. Without looking in a mirror, she knew that her face had grown sharper, and dark scales ran down her throat and out over her shoulders. More collected on her belly, though her dress continued to cover her. Her hair remained dark auburn and her eyes had changed to violet blue.
“What are you trying to do?” she demanded.
“I’m trying to remind you what you are. To tell you to eat something. You’re skin and bones and you’re going to starve to death before long.”
She shook her head. “I’m not suicidal.”
“Then what?” When she didn’t answer, he went to the door and shut it, keying the lockpad. She heard bars in the door slide into place. He turned back to her, folding his arms over his chest. “Now you can’t go anywhere. Not until I let you out. So you might as well tell me.”
Olivia stared. Tears burned in her eyes. She turned so he wouldn’t see. “This is none of your business. Let me go.”
He strode forward until he stood behind her at the foot of the desk. “No. Tell me what’s going on.”
She let out a sigh and leaped down lightly. “Fine.” She spun about, anger sparking through her. “I’m fasting. Tomorrow a witch will make me human. Then I can get Noah the right way and not trick him with my magic vagina. Satisfied?”
He stared. “You’re going to what?” The last word was a roar. “You are fucking crazy.” He vaulted over the desk and grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her roughly. “You are a succubus. You can’t be human. No witch can make you so.”
“She says she can. I believe her.”
“Oh, well that’s all right then. If you believe her. Then it must be true. Gods in Hell, Olivia, you can’t be serious!”
Her jaw jutted and her lip curled. “I’ve seen proof. Don’t you think I’d be careful?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what the hell you’re thinking.” He thrust her away and went to swallow down his scotch. He spun around. “I won’t let you do it.”
“You have no say in the matter,” Olivia said. “You are nothing to me.”
His face worked and then smoothed into a tight mask. “So I am supposed to stand by while you destroy yourself? I don’t think so.”
“I’m not going to destroy myself. I’m making myself whole and happy for the first time in my life!”
“By ripping out your essence? Which, I might add, I still think is ludicrous and impossible. The witch is conning you.”
“I’m not ripping out anything. I’m getting rid of something I don’t want. Look, it’s easy for you. You don’t care about anybody. You don’t love anyone and you don’t want to. But I do. I wan
t a man who wants me for me and not because he can’t resist my siren call.”
He blinked at her and then laughed. Olivia’s fist bunched and it took all she had not to punch him.
“See? You have no idea what I’m talking about, so you can’t possibly understand. Who have you ever loved? Hell, who has ever loved you? You’re a whore, a sex vampire. Well you may be happy with that, but I’m not anymore. I want something better than this curse.”
He stared at her a long moment, then threw his glass across the room. It shattered against wall. Olivia jerked back in surprise. Arash was not given to emotional displays. He was not given to emotion.
“What’s your problem?”
“You. You are my problem,” he grated.
“Please. As if. What do you care what I do? I haven’t seen you in how long? It’s been eleven or twelve years. I’m surprised you even remember my name.”
“I do,” he grated. “I remember everything about you.”
She stared, her brow crimping. What did he mean? “No, you could barely be bothered to give me the time of day the last time I was here.”
Now it was her turn to laugh, a bitter sound. “Did you know I had a crush on you? Worse. I thought I was in love with you. Since I first met you, I was head over heels. That last day I was going to tell you. I wanted you so bad. I was so jealous of every woman you screwed because I wanted to be one of them. And then one of the waiters asked what you thought about me. He knew I was listening. He was trying to help me get up my courage. You know what you said? I’ll tell you. I remember every word. You said, ‘Olivia? Spare me. She gets on my last nerve. If only she’d just find somewhere else to hang out, I’d be a happy incubus’. She imitated the bored and disgusted tone of his voice exactly. “So I gave you your wish. My point is, you didn’t care about me then, and I doubt you’ve developed a sudden attachment to me now.”
“You’d be surprised,” he muttered.
She snorted. “Trust me, you’ve surprised me. Now let me the fuck out of here. I want to go home.”
The look he turned on her was predatory. “I don’t think so. You aren’t leaving here until you’ve fed. It’s in the air. All you have to do is let it in.”
She shook her head, glaring. “I have to fast until tomorrow night if the spell is going to work. So no. I won’t be eating.”
“Then you aren’t going anywhere.”
“What the hell is your problem? I don’t belong to you so get over yourself and open up the fucking door!” she shouted. The sound was a guttural shriek, sounding as inhuman as she was.
She didn’t see him move. He closed the gap between them in a blur. His hands closed around her arms and he jerked her against him with only the silk of her dress separating them.
“Understand this,” he said through clenched teeth. “I will not let you go until you eat. Will. Not. So if I have to keep you here until after your witch appointment, I will.”
Her stomach dropped and her jaw sagged open. “Why? Why would you do this to me?”
He barked his laughter. “To you? I’m not doing anything to you. I’m saving your ass.” He shoved her away. “May as well go ahead and eat. You aren’t going anywhere until you do.”
“You’re a bastard. I hate you,” Olivia said.
He shrugged. “Whatever. You’re not the first.” He went and poured himself another drink and gulped it down, turning to study her as he did.
She couldn’t help her flush. No matter her feelings for Noah, Arash had always stirred her. But his words that day had cut her deep and they’d never stopped cutting. It was like the knife was always there, probing deeper and deeper.
“I’m sorry,” he said suddenly.
“What?”
“For what I said that day. I didn’t mean it.”
“Right, because otherwise why would you have said it?” she asked sarcastically. “It was a long time ago. Why are you bothering to lie now?”
He fell silent and she paced around the room, trying to sort out an argument that would convince him to free her.
“I knew you had . . . feelings . . . for me,” he said.
Olivia stopped dead, a sick feeling churning in her stomach. “You what?”
“I knew you were—That you had a crush on me,” he said looking uncomfortable. “And I knew you were listening when I said what I did. I wanted you to hear it.”
The sick feeling turned to full-scale nausea and Olivia’s stomach jerked. Bile flooded her throat, along with the scotch she’d just drunk. “No,” she whispered. It was one thing to have overheard him when he didn’t know she was in love with him, when he didn’t know she was listening, but he’d known it all. “Wow. That’s really a funny joke,” she said in a hollow voice. “You must have got a good laugh out of it.”
“No! It wasn’t like that. You were so young and—”
“And look at how you can humiliate the young stupid girl. Sounds like a good game.” She shifted back into her human form and ran to the door. She stood helplessly before it, tears streaking her hot cheeks. “I want to leave. Let me out.”
“No. Not until you feed.”
She whirled around. “Why do you hate me so much? I’m finally getting a chance to be happy and you want to kick me in the gut again?”
“I don’t hate you.” He paced behind his desk, his wings flaring.
“Really? Because you fake it pretty well. Makes me wonder what you do with people you really don’t like. But even if I feed, you won’t stop me. I’ll just start all over.”
“Why? What’s so wrong with you that you have to tear your soul in half just to be happy?”
He strode over to stand in front of her. She stared at his throat, unwilling to meet his eyes. It had started with that one overheard conversation. She’d wanted to bury herself in a cave. She’d wanted to run to the other side of the world. Instead, she’d set out to build a life separate from the ‘bi world. She’d avoided them all. She’d taken a job at the law firm and become essential to Noah. She could find anything out and didn’t usually need her succubus powers to do it.
She’d become human in almost every respect, except her need to eat through sex. And now she was finally going to get rid of that. If only she could make Arash let her out.
Swallowing, she lifted her eyes and met his. “Let me put this as simply as I can. I fit in the human world; I’m happy there.” She started to say she was in love with Noah, but suddenly changed it. She didn’t know why. “I want to be with Noah. I don’t want to use him for food. I want him to want me for me and not because I lured him. This is my choice. So open the door and let me go.”
His mouth tightened. “No.”
Her chin trembled with frustration and fury. She bit her lip to keep herself from falling apart. “Why not?”
“Because I lied that day. I knew I wasn’t good for you, so I put on a show so you’d get sick of me and leave.” He shook his head, the muscle in his jaw knotting. “I never thought it would work so well.”
“Bullshit,” she said, but something inside her was starting to throb painfully, something she’d thought long dead.
“Ten years, nine months and sixteen days ago, you started work at Cutler, Hein, and Olsen. You started as a fact checker and worked your way up to being Noah Larson’s head of research. You supervise a staff of twenty-six people and have turned down three offers to be sent to law school and become an attorney. You take a three week vacation every year in a different spot. Last year it was Belize. The year before was Ireland. The year before that was Macchu Picchu. Your best friends are Colleen and Dani, both of whom work at the firm as lawyers, Colleen in environmental law, Dani in corporate law. Your favorite scent is Versace’s Bright Crystal. Your favorite music is Phantom of the Opera. Your favorite book is Pride and Prejudice. I could go on. Do you need to hear more?”
“I—” Olivia’s mouth had gone dry. “How could you know all that about me?”
“I told you. I lied.”
“That
doesn’t explain anything.”
“Then maybe this will.”
He bent, sliding his hand around the back of her neck. His lips brushed hers, back and forth. He nibbled along her bottom lip and then licked at the corners of her mouth. Olivia gasped, sudden heat flaring in her belly. Her mouth opened and it was all the encouragement he needed. He dragged her close against him, his arms winding tight around her back as he opened his mouth over hers. His tongue delved inside, stroking softly against hers despite his possessive grip. As she responded, he groaned and his arms tightened.
The noise vibrated through Olivia’s chest and startled her from the sudden stunning weight of heat and desire. She pulled away, pressing the back of her hand to her lips. “What are you doing?” More importantly, what the hell was she doing? She was in love with Noah. Wasn’t she?
“I’m trying to tell you I don’t want to be in love with a human. I want one of my own kind. I want you as you are. Can your Noah say the same?”
“In love?” she parroted stupidly, taking another step back. This wasn’t possible. For more than ten years she’d not seen him or talked to him. She’d done everything she could to forget him. He couldn’t be in love with her. And if he is? Asked a tiny voice inside her.
Her mind whirled like she’d been bashed over the head. Her legs shook and she took another step back until she was leaning against the door.
He grimaced. “You look like I just told you I wanted to kill you.”
She couldn’t find any words. She had no clue what she should say, much less what she wanted to say. At her silence, he made a frustrated sound and crossed his arms as if he was trying to stop himself from snatching her back. Suddenly he turned and stalked away, flinging himself down into a chair and shifting back to his human form.
“I take it you are serving me back a dish of humiliation,” he said sardonically. “Your human has your heart.”
“Yes,” she said automatically. But she wasn’t nearly as sure as she sounded. In fact she wasn’t sure at all. She was attracted to Noah. And she liked him. He was kind and generous and smart and funny. But he didn’t make her feel what Arash did. He never had. It was like the difference between fire and ashes.