“Look, Marissa, my life has changed drastically. Now Jordan’s going to be a part of it. We’ll work this out. But he’s going to spend time here with me and Uncle Eli. The Cozy C could be his someday.”
She knew she made a little sound of surprise.
“We have to think ahead now,” he said. “Maybe you’ve just been living day to day, but that’s going to change.”
Confusion stole through Marissa’s heart. She liked to think of herself as flexible. But when it came to Jordan, she didn’t know how flexible she could be.
Ty pushed a few curls away from her cheek. “I’m going to learn how to become a father, Marissa, so I’d like you to try and get used to that idea.”
His callused fingers on her cheek made her insides quiver and her knees even felt a little weak. Or maybe that was because everything was happening so fast. Maybe because seeing Ty in a father’s role wasn’t something she ever expected to do.
Ty stepped back and she felt relieved. When he was that close she had trouble fighting her attraction to him. When he was that close anything could happen.
He hefted up the high chair and nodded to the doorway. She crossed to it, eager to go downstairs and get dinner over with, eager to go back to her apartment with Jordan.
Ty put a shirt on before he came to the table, but all through dinner she couldn’t keep her gaze from flitting to him. Just as she felt his eyes on her. She kept herself busy feeding Jordan. She’d brought along food for him, but also fed him bits of broccoli and the boiled potatoes with butter Eli had made.
After he’d eaten, she started on the barbecued ribs. In between bites, she asked, “What did you use on these? They’re delicious.”
“I make my own rub,” Eli said. “And I do them slow in the oven, basting them often. Ty’s talking about getting one of those smokers, thinks guests might like it. But I like the way I do it.”
“I make my own barbecue sauce,” Marissa said. “Is your rub a secret?”
Eli chuckled. “Not so secret. I can jot it down for you.”
When Ty put dessert on the table, Marissa remarked to Eli, “You’re serving a feast.”
“I can’t take credit for the cherry crumble,” Eli told her. “A neighbor made that for us.”
Jordan had smeared his supper from one end of his mouth to the other and got some on his cheek and his nose. She reached out to clean him, but Ty stopped her. “Do you think he’ll let me wipe him?”
“You can try. He doesn’t even let me wipe his face sometimes.”
Ty went to the counter and wet a paper towel. Moments later he was back, making a game of it with Jordan, wiping one cheek and tickling his tummy. Then he wiped the other, making a noise like an airplane while he did it.
Eli leaned close to Marissa. “Sometimes dads have the magic touch.”
She felt as if Ty and Eli were tag-teaming her, trying to convince her of something. She wasn’t sure what that was. That Ty would be a good father? Only time would tell that. Only time and Ty’s commitment to his son.
As she looked at him, she still saw the rakish cowboy who flitted from town to town as if he’d never belonged anywhere.
Could Ty Conroy make a commitment?
That was the question she had to answer before she could let him fully into her son’s life.
Chapter Four
After supper, Ty and his uncle stepped into the living room for a few minutes while Marissa washed Jordan’s hands. Their voices were low and their discussion made her nervous. Were they talking about her and Jordan?
Neither seemed ruffled when they returned to the kitchen. Eli was even smiling.
Ty glanced at her, then ruffled his son’s hair. “Let me take you on a tour of the ranch.”
Supper had gone well, Marissa decided. She didn’t know if she wanted to push her time here further. Yet watching Ty act like a father to his son was fulfilling to witness—his gentleness, his concern, his caring.
She motioned to the dirty dishes. “We should clean up.”
Without hesitation, Eli stepped into the argument. “No need. Since Ty got me that fancy new dishwasher, everything practically cleans itself. Go on. When you get back, you can let me know if anybody would come here for a vacation.”
Ty was already gathering Jordan from the high chair.
“I have his collapsible stroller in the car,” Marissa said. She took it everywhere. Forethought was a mom’s friend.
“We’ll be fine,” Ty assured her, jiggling Jordan a little and making him giggle.
As they walked out onto the porch, he said, “He’s a happy baby, isn’t he?”
“Most of the time. Especially when he gets his way.”
Ty chuckled and descended the steps. As they crossed to the barn, Marissa asked, “How’s your knee?”
He shot her a glance. “I won’t trip and fall with Jordan,” he remarked with a bit of an edge.
“That wasn’t my concern,” she said softly.
He looked away toward the hills in the distance as if he was imagining riding there. “Sometimes I work it too hard,” he admitted. “And that puts me back to using a cane. But there’s so much I want to get finished by the end of the year.”
Seeing that talking about his knee made him uncomfortable, she motioned toward the barn. “It looks good. It’s a wonder what a new coat of paint will do.”
“I wanted to have it sided or something more permanent, but Unc wouldn’t hear of that.”
“Did you say you won the biggest purse of your life the night of the accident?”
“Accident is a nice way of putting it,” he said wryly. “But yes, I did, and most of the other winnings I’d socked away in the bank. After all, I didn’t have many expenses on the road, or much I wanted to buy. When I was recuperating, I put most of it into building up the Cozy C and paying back taxes. Unc didn’t tell me he was in trouble before that, or I would have helped sooner. He can be stubborn.”
She cleared her throat. “And his nephew didn’t inherit that fine quality.”
Now Ty laughed and reached to open the barn door.
When she passed by him up the step into the barn, Jordan reached out and grabbed her cotton blouse. His little fist clamped on her sleeve. Her hand reached for Jordan’s at the same time Ty’s did. As their skin touched, Marissa felt a tremble the whole way through her body. Something about Ty Conroy shook her up, attracted her, made her feel so much like a woman.
She dropped her hand as Ty gently pried Jordan’s fingers away from her sleeve.
“He likes me close by,” she commented, trying to hide her reaction to Ty.
“He’s not the only one.” Ty’s voice was low, almost a thought rather than a statement. He went on to say, “You always smell so good.”
She tried not to take in his scent along with the smells of new wood, hay and horses. She didn’t know what to say so she said nothing and moved forward.
The barn was part new, part old. Some of the stall doors were new lumber. Others were worn, dark and well grained. She noticed an enclosure that appeared new. The door stood open and she glimpsed tack inside.
“It looks as if you’ve done a lot of repairs and made some changes.”
“We never had a tack room before, but we need one now if we’re going to take parties out on trail rides. I have to go into town or to an auction and pick up new saddles.”
“So many details.”
“You bet. The guest cabins are almost finished. I mostly have just staining to do there.”
She motioned around the barn. “Did you do some of this work yourself?”
“I did. I often worked construction jobs in between rodeo gigs when there was a time lag.”
Marissa thought about how long Ty had been bull riding, the places he’d seen and t
he people he’d met. She tried not to think about the women he’d met.
“You’ve been all over the country, and I’ve never been out of California,” she mused aloud.
“Do you want to get out of California?” he asked with a tilt of his head.
She had once dreamed of visiting faraway places. But that was before she’d become a mom. “I like Fawn Grove. It’s always been my home. But I would like to see some sights other than photos on my smartphone.”
Jordan was leaning toward the horses, and Ty walked over to one of the stalls. “I imagine you’d like Jordan to see them, too.”
“Of course. I want him to see the world. But not too soon,” she added in a teasing tone.
When Ty let Jordan get close to the horse, Marissa was concerned. Glancing at her, he must have seen that.
“Goldie is gentle,” he assured her. “She doesn’t move suddenly and not much rattles her. It will be safe for him to touch her.”
“What kind of horse is she?”
“A Tennessee walker. A gaited horse. That makes riding easier for me. She and I have gotten along like best friends since I brought her here.”
Marissa stepped up beside Ty, not knowing what to expect from a horse, either. “Are you sure she won’t bite or anything?”
She could tell Ty was trying to keep from laughing. “She won’t bite,” he assured her. “I guess you haven’t been around horses much, either.”
“Never been around them.” They really were magnificent creatures, but so magnificent they scared her.
“We don’t want Jordan to be afraid of them, right?”
“Right,” she agreed, but without much enthusiasm. A little fear could be a healthy thing.
Ty took Jordan’s little hand and guided it toward Goldie’s nose. When the boy’s fingers smoothed over the softness, he giggled and gave an excited sound of glee.
“Try it again,” Ty said. “Anything that causes that reaction should be tried more than once.”
Marissa’s quick glance at him made her breath catch. There was something in Ty’s eyes that said he remembered their night together as vividly as she did. Was there some message in what he’d said to Jordan?
“Now your turn,” Ty told her. “Just run your hand down her nose and pat her neck. She likes that.”
He made it all sound so sensual, like so much more than learning to know a horse.
When she reached out her hand, Ty advised her, “Slowly. Never move too fast around them. They’re just like people, really. They don’t like to be startled.”
As she moved her hand over Goldie’s nose, she could see why Jordan had giggled. It was a kind of softness she hadn’t felt before.
Remembering what Ty had said, she slipped her hand around to the horse’s neck. Her coat was coarse but pleasant to the touch. Her mane was silkier than the rest of her coat as it fell over Marissa’s hand.
Although the horse had fascinated Jordan when they’d begun, now he was tired of being held and tired of touching Goldie’s nose. He began shifting away from Ty.
“Is it okay if I put him down over near those hay bales? There’s nothing he can get into and nothing that will hurt him there.”
“Unless he starts eating the hay,” Marissa said wryly.
Ty lowered Jordan to the floor.
The toddler looked around as if he’d just been placed in a whole new world. Then he staggered toward a hay bale, eager to touch it.
As they stood at the stall together, Ty’s elbow brushed Marissa’s. That quickening in her breath was back. He was so tall, so elementally male.
As they watched Jordan hold on to one bale and then toddle to another, Ty said, “That apartment building you’re living in is getting run-down. What happens when you need a repair?”
Marissa wrinkled her nose. “It takes a couple of weeks till the landlord gets around to it. I had a leaky sink and Kaitlyn’s husband, Adam, fixed it for me. I either do it myself or find a way around it.”
“A child needs some space to move around, needs to see something other than the inside of an apartment, don’t you think?”
Uh-oh. She should have left before the tour. “What are you getting at, Ty?”
He set his hat back farther on his head. “The Cozy C has always been a refuge to me. When I was a kid and things weren’t going right, I could come out here to the horses. I could take walks through the fields. I could go on a hike through the hills.”
The anxiety Marissa had felt driving out here became palpable, tightening a fist around her heart, making it hard to swallow. But she managed to say, “If you think I’m going to let Jordan come here and live with you, you’re wrong. He’s my son, Ty. He needs me.”
“Calm down,” Ty assured her gently. “Of course he does. I’m not suggesting Jordan come live here. I’m suggesting the two of you come live here. Think about it. It certainly would help you with expenses. You could save money for Jordan’s future.”
She was already shaking her head.
He cupped her shoulders so she’d look at him. “You kept Jordan’s birth from me. I’ve lost fourteen months with him. Don’t you see I want to know Jordan in a real way, not just sometimes, now and then, here and there?”
Looking deep into Ty’s blue eyes, she tried to see the truth. Although Ty’s rodeo days were over, would he really stay? Yes, he was committed to revamping the Cozy C. He seemed committed to his uncle. But could she trust him? Could she trust him to be the dad he wanted to be? Could she trust him not to just run off again, chasing some other dream?
“I was going to ask Jase for a raise and find a new place,” she admitted.
“Ask him for a raise. I’m sure you deserve it. But as far as finding a new place... Think about the Cozy C. We have plenty of room here.”
“Once you start taking on guests, everything will change.”
“Sure, there might be people around,” he said. “But the nature of the ranch won’t change. Wouldn’t it be good for Jordan to meet people from all walks of life? Wouldn’t it be good for him to have me and Uncle Eli around him? We’re family, Marissa, whether you like the idea or not.”
Did she like the idea? “Your uncle might not want us around.”
“You seem to get along with him. That’s a feat in itself. He has his own set of rooms. He can be private when he wants to be private. I talked to him about it before we came out here. He’s open to it, Marissa. I want you to be open to it, too.”
Open to what exactly? Living under the same roof as Ty? Fighting her attraction to him? Open to being a family?
“I don’t know.”
“Think about it, Marissa. Think about the holidays here. A tall tree in the living room, wreaths on the doors, bells on the barn. Wouldn’t Jordan love that?”
Just then, Jordan squealed and they both looked toward him. A kitten had dashed out from between the hay bales. He toddled after it laughing, excited, his eyes twinkling with a child’s penchant for exploring.
Ty went over to him, sat down on the stack of hay bales and scooped up the kitten. He held it as Jordan stared at it wide-eyed.
He let Jordan touch the kitten, watching carefully, the same way that he’d watched over him as he’d touched the horse’s nose.
Could Ty be a good dad? Would living here be good for Jordan?
Marissa knew her impulses had gotten her in trouble with Ty once before. The repercussions would be lifelong. On the other hand, she had to be open to what was best for Jordan.
She had a whole lot to think about.
* * *
Ty was holding Jordan again as he and Marissa walked back to the house. He realized how much more he wanted to hold him. How he wanted Marissa and Jordan here at the Cozy C where he could be a hands-on dad. After watching the expressions on his son’s face, seei
ng him toddle around, Ty felt emotions in his heart he’d never experienced before. Did every dad have that deep, gut-wrenching desire to be part of his son’s life?
He wanted to give Marissa more reasons she should stay at the Cozy C. But he knew he couldn’t push, because if he did, he’d push her away. She’d become protective of her life and Jordan’s, and they’d have to draw up some kind of visitation agreement. He didn’t want that.
Just like rehab and working strength back into his muscles, everything took patience and time. He just wasn’t feeling very patient right now.
Close to the house now, Ty spotted a sleek black sedan parked next to Marissa’s car. As they entered the kitchen, he noticed the stranger right away. Dressed in a pale blue dress shirt, navy tie, expensive-looking dress slacks and shiny black loafers rather than boots, the blond man was almost as tall as Ty and maybe a few years older. Ty didn’t like the fact that the man’s green-eyed gaze went to Marissa and settled there.
Jordan had had enough of being carried, and he squawked a bit until Marissa went to the diaper bag on the counter and pulled out a set of blocks. She put them on the floor and he set Jordan down beside them. The baby was immediately entranced with them.
When he faced his uncle, Eli explained, “This is Scott Donaldson. He thinks I should sell the Cozy C to him.”
Donaldson extended his hand to Ty. “Scott Donaldson, and you’re—”
“Ty Conroy, Eli’s nephew.”
He gave that a bit of thought, and then his attention turned to Marissa. “And you are?” His voice held a note that Ty didn’t like at all. It was that male appreciation note, that I-could-be-interested-in-you note.
“Marissa Lopez,” she said, and that was all.
But Donaldson cocked his head and stepped incrementally closer. “Are you the Marissa Lopez who plans events for Jase Cramer?”
“You know Jase?”
“We’re both members of the Chamber of Commerce. We worked on a committee together. I attended the festival at his winery in the summer, as well as several wine tastings. You set up the festival from what I understand.”
The Cowboy's Secret Baby (The Mommy Club Book 3) Page 5