“Eli’s listening for Jordan. I’d better get back to the house.” It wasn’t a great excuse, but it would have to do.
Ty saw it for what it was. “And one of these days, you’re not going to use Jordan as an excuse. One of these days, you’re going to stop running from me.”
Ty’s prediction could be true. But tonight she was going to hold on to her heart and her sanity. She was going to take the safe route and do the right thing.
However, after she left the barn, after she left Ty, doubts plagued her and she knew sleep wasn’t going to come easy tonight.
Chapter Eight
Taking care of a baby wasn’t as easy as Marissa made it look, Ty thought on Sunday, knowing he had something to prove today.
He had been caring for Jordan since Marissa got home from church around eleven-thirty. After she’d changed, she’d set out for lunch at Raintree Winery with Jase and Sara and Amy. She’d told him Jordan had been a perfect little gentleman at the church service and she was hoping he was in one of his angelic moods today.
Angelic, Ty’s eye.
As soon as Marissa was out the door, Jordan had started making his needs and wants known.
Sitting in his high chair now, Jordan banged his spoon on the tray, acting like a little tyrant.
“Need help warming up that food?” Eli asked, amusement in his tone that Ty didn’t appreciate at all.
“Of course I don’t need help. Marissa left instructions on how long to warm it.”
Eli chuckled. “I had a late breakfast. You feed Jordan. I’ll go clean some of that new tack you bought. Not too strenuous for an old codger like me.”
“Unc, you can do anything you think you can handle around here.”
“Clint’s taken over most of my chores,” he grumbled. “And that new hand will probably take the rest.”
“I’m sure you can find something to keep you busy,” Ty suggested, taking the dishes of baby food and applesauce to Jordan and setting them on the tray.
His little boy looked up at him and grinned. Ty almost forgot about the past hour when nothing he’d done with toys or walking around the house had seemed to please his son.
“He just misses his momma when she’s gone,” Eli offered.
“He’s fine in The Mommy Club day care.”
“Yeah, well, you’re still a stranger to him. Give it time.”
Ty studied his son as Jordan dipped his spoon into the applesauce and splashed it all over his shirt instead of putting it in his mouth.
Sucking in one of those long breaths he used when he was revving up for physical therapy, Ty pulled over a chair in front of Jordan and sat facing him, eye to eye, man to boy.
“If you think you can frustrate me until I go away, you’re wrong. I’m here to stay, little guy. We’re going to figure out what you like to do with me, how much horses are going to play a part in your life and most of all—” Ty picked up the baby spoon and wiggled it at Jordan “—you’re going to learn to eat a lot more neatly. That might be easier with finger food. We had scrambled eggs for breakfast, thanks to your mom. But how about pancakes for lunch? I make the best flapjacks. You can break them up and dip them in syrup and butter. What do you say?”
Jordan took his spoon, dipped it into the applesauce again and let it slosh onto the high chair tray.
“That’s what I thought,” Ty said, getting to his feet, knowing these were going to be quick pancakes.
The pancakes were a hit. Jordan even grinned at him as syrup dripped down his chin.
After cleaning up Jordan and the high chair tray, Ty enjoyed a quick pancake himself. Then he changed his son and slipped a clean shirt over his little boy’s head. As Jordan gazed at him with those big brown eyes, Ty’s heart melted and his fingers fumbled. He had a lot to live up to, and a lot to provide for this little boy. He bent and gave Jordan a kiss on the top of his head, feeling awkward, but also feeling like Jordan was his best accomplishment ever.
They went to the barn after that, and Jordan clutched at Ty’s shirt collar, bobbed his head in all directions, maybe looking for adventure instead of his mommy. At least that’s the way Ty saw it. This morning when they’d walked outside, maybe Jordan had expected to see Marissa. When he didn’t, he’d got out of sorts. But now, he knew his daddy was taking care of him, and his dad would provide different entertainment than his mom did.
The afternoon passed more quickly than Ty imagined it would. Jordan felt hay in his chubby little hands, sat in a saddle in the tack room and ran around the barn chasing kittens.
“We’ll be taking them to the vet soon,” Ty told him. “Maybe you could bring one into the house and have it as a pet.”
Somehow Ty could almost hear Marissa say Jordan was too young for a pet. She might like a kitten, though. She seemed like the type.
The type. He’d never thought someone like Marissa would exactly be his type. That night, after the wedding, she’d been wild and impulsive, and very different from the girl he’d known in high school. He knew now she wasn’t always wild and impulsive. She was still that girl from high school, the one who was down-to-earth, smart, headed in the right direction.
Jordan was still giggling at a kitten’s antics when Clint came into the barn.
Clint said, “The cabins are ready for any furniture you might want to put in them. The space heaters are running fine, and the plumbing’s tip-top. You’re going to be ready, Ty.”
“We don’t have any guests signed up yet. I’ll concentrate on that this week.”
Jordan reached for the brim of Ty’s hat. Ty let the little boy tip it, and then he set it back on his head the right way.
“How did it go this afternoon?” Clint asked, studying the two of them.
“We had a rocky start. But we’re doing better now. Babies are just like anybody else. They have to get used to you.”
“Like you and Marissa getting used to being parents together?”
Ty thought about that kiss last night. He thought about his bedroom and what he really wanted. But what did Marissa want?
“We’re settling in.”
“I talked with John Vega and Troy Gunthrie last night. They’re heading to a holiday rodeo in San Diego. Lots of events and a big purse.”
“Like a carrot dangling in front of you, isn’t it?” Ty said.
Clint gave him an odd look. “Is that what you were always doing, chasing the carrot?”
“Pretty much. I didn’t have anything else on my mind, except maybe that I was going to show up my dad because I wasn’t going to die rodeoing. That and the fact that the rodeo life represented freedom.”
“I get that,” Clint assured him. “But at what point does that life trap you, too? Getting older has made me wonder what’s next.”
“Sort of like a pro football player giving up his jersey?” Ty asked.
“Yeah, I guess it’s like that.”
Suddenly Ty heard someone clear her throat. When he looked over his shoulder, he saw Marissa. How long had she been standing there and what had she heard?
“Hey there,” he said. “You’re back. Did you have a good time?”
“Sara cooked a terrific meal. She has a bit more finesse than I do in the kitchen. Ethan was there, too, Jase’s dad. He was telling us about his travels to wineries in Europe.”
“Are you thinking of going there someday?” Clint asked.
“Italy sounded beautiful, but...”
She went over to Jordan and held out her arms. “I missed you, buddy. How was your day?”
To Ty’s surprise, his son held on tight and didn’t want to let go.
The look in Marissa’s eyes was disappointment and maybe a little hurt.
“So you had a good time with your dad,” Marissa said, working a light note into her voice
. “That’s great.”
Clint tipped his hat and said, “I’ve got some work on the bunkhouse. I’ll see you folks later.”
Once Clint had exited the barn, Marissa tried to act casual. “How did it go?” she asked, still looking as if she wanted to take Jordan from his arms.
Ty went over to sit on a stack of hay bales and set his son on the ground. He figured it might be an easier transition for Jordan to go to his mom.
Marissa perched on the hay bale beside him and Jordan toddled over to her, clasping her knee. Ty could tell she wanted to pick him up and just hug him to death. But maybe she wanted to see if he’d stay with her or go back to Ty.
“It sounds as if Clint is really ready to settle down,” she said.
“He seems to be.” Ty paused a moment, and then added, “And you’re wondering if I really am, too.”
“Of course I am. Jordan is getting more and more attached to you.”
“He’s still always going to be attached to you,” Ty said gently.
She met his gaze then. “I never thought he wouldn’t want to come to me.”
Ty dropped his arm around her shoulders, and just that casual gesture felt so right. Being near Marissa felt right. Yet part of him was fighting it, fighting what they could have together. Why was that? Maybe because he wondered if he was really the man she’d want in her life. Maybe because of their circumstances. He was Jordan’s father, so he was a man she couldn’t shove out of her life.
“I think a child as young as Jordan needs a mom more than a dad,” he admitted.
When Marissa started to protest, he held up his hand. “I’m not saying I don’t want to do the things you have to do—like changing him and feeding him and putting him to bed at night. I’m just saying he depends on you for those, and maybe he’ll come to depend on me, too. But it’s all going to take time. I’m somebody new who’s showing him new things. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need or want you, too. We’re in this together, Marissa.”
He still saw the doubts in her eyes. “I know when your father left you felt a hole in your life.”
“We weren’t close,” she murmured.
“I’m not sure that matters. When my dad left me with Uncle Eli, I felt that hole, too, even though I also felt he didn’t want me around. Kids are meant to have parents, and when there’s a glitch, they feel they’re to blame if they’re old enough to have sense about them. You and I were. And that doesn’t make it easy for either of us to trust. But at some point we’re going to have to. I hope this afternoon shows you you can trust me with Jordan.”
Her son was looking up at her now and suddenly he raised his tiny arms to her.
Marissa folded hers around him and lifted him up onto her lap. She was smiling again. She was essential in her son’s life again.
But she hadn’t commented on what Ty had said, and he wondered if either of them could trust enough to make co-parenting work.
* * *
After Marissa put Jordan down for his nap, she found Eli rooting around in the refrigerator.
He glanced over his shoulder at her. “I’m looking for that last dish of apple cobbler you baked last night. Jordan didn’t eat it, did he?”
She laughed, went to the refrigerator and pulled out a plastic container that was stowed away in the back.
“I put it in here to keep it fresh. Is this a snack or dessert before dinner?”
“It’s a snack. It seems like we just keep eating up all that good stuff you make.”
“How about vegetable soup and biscuits for dinner? And maybe, just maybe, I can bake some chocolate chip cookies.”
“Yep, you sure do know how to cook,” he said with a nod. “But you know, Ty hardly had any lunch. He was too busy with Jordan.”
Ty could chow down with the best of them, and Marissa was surprised by that.
“Then I guess I’d better make sure I have plenty of soup, biscuits and chocolate chip cookies.”
Eli took the container, went to the drawer for a fork, then sat at the table. He popped the lid open. “So chances are good you’re going to stay for Christmas?”
When Marissa didn’t answer right away, Eli went on, “A young boy should have both parents around for such an important holiday.”
“I’ll stay if Ty wants me to.”
She pulled a soup pot from the lower cupboard and set it on the stove.
“If I want you to what?” Ty asked as he came in the kitchen door.
“You want her to stay for Christmas, don’t you, boy?” Eli asked him.
“Sure,” Ty answered offhandedly, and Marissa couldn’t tell how much her staying would mean to him.
“That’s settled, then,” Eli said with a grin. Three bites later he finished off the cobbler, then he pushed his chair back. “I’m going to take a little rest myself. But listen, you two, if we’re going to have a child around here for Christmas, we’d better start getting ready, don’t you think?”
Eli left the kitchen, went into his bedroom and shut the door.
Ty crossed to the sink to wash up. After he did, he waited until Marissa had rummaged in the refrigerator for carrots, celery and an onion before he said, “Would you like me to light a fire? It’s starting to drizzle out there, and it’s pretty damp.”
As soon as Marissa’s gaze found Ty’s, she knew they didn’t need a fire in the fireplace to get a blaze going between them. The cozy idea of it appealed to her, though.
“We’ll have to teach Jordan to stay away from it.”
“We will,” Ty said with assurance, his eyes locked to hers.
“I’ve always dreamed of sitting by a fire on a damp night.”
“Then you’ve come to the right place.”
There was that tempting note in Ty’s tone that said an invitation to his bedroom wasn’t faraway.
“I hear you didn’t have much lunch.”
“You know, I think the old man has eyes in back of his head, and ears in his toes.”
Marissa laughed. “Like every real parent should. Essentially he was your dad, Ty. He’s looking out for you.”
Ty leaned against the counter and crossed one long leg over the other. “I suppose he is. That’s why he wants to get Christmas all lined up. Do you really want to stay?”
“Do you really want me here?”
She knew those questions went back to their conversation in the barn, and both of them had to be honest.
“I want you here,” he said.
“I want to stay,” she said at the same time.
He came closer to her then and took the carrot from her hand, setting it on the counter.
“What do you have in mind for Christmas?” he asked.
“A tree for sure and a wreath on the front door. I’m sure Jordan would like some bells here and there. I’ll have to think about the rest.”
She was finding it hard to breathe, let alone think with Ty so near.
“After you’re done thinking, make a list. The next time I go to town, I’ll pick up whatever you need.”
“I can find plenty of evergreens right here to make wreaths.”
“You know how to do that?”
“With the internet at my fingertips, I can do anything.”
He chuckled, his large hand coming up to cup her cheek. “I’m beginning to believe you can.”
Her breathlessness had become so serious she was dizzy. She took a step away so she wouldn’t start trembling all over at the idea of being held in his arms again.
“Do you think you’ll be ready for guests after the new year?” she asked.
A disappointed look passed over his face, and she was almost surprised he let her see it. He was good and shuttered when he wanted to be.
He ran his hand through his hair. “The c
abins are finished. We just have to furnish them.”
“The secondhand store’s open tomorrow evening. I can go look around, or we can both go.”
“We can both go. I’ll take the truck because I’m sure we’ll find something.”
“You know,” she said thoughtfully. “We can plan an open house for New Year’s Day. It’s not too late for that. We have a few weeks.”
“An open house,” he mused aloud. “You mean so folks can come and see the cabins and see what we have to offer?”
“Exactly. I can send press releases to radio and TV stations, and newspapers. We can plan a social media event, too, for that week in between Christmas and New Year’s Day. We can have a Cozy C launch party. I’ve planned those kinds of things for the winery.”
“The website will be ready by next week,” Ty said. “Maybe the designer can create banners and ads, and we can send the files to local businesses so they could put links on their websites.”
“Not just local.” Marissa made a sweeping gesture with her hand. “Social media can be worldwide. If Jase says it’s okay, we can advertise the Cozy C on Raintree’s website, too.”
“I’ll talk to him about that tomorrow when I see him,” Ty acknowledged. “The thing is, Marissa,” he said with a frown, “I don’t want to overburden you. You’ve got a full-time job and Jordan.”
“And time in the evening after Jordan goes to bed. I’m strong, and I don’t need much sleep,” she added.
This time he backed her into the corner where cupboard met cupboard. She wasn’t going to take a step back or escape him.
“I like strong women,” he told her. “Strong ideas, strong opinions, strong passion.”
He was saying he knew her passion was strong, that her desire could meet his. They’d proven that before. Since their night together, their kisses had taken them near the passion they’d once shared. She could see he wanted one of those kisses now. Didn’t she?
Ty smelled like the outdoors and the hay in the barn and so very male. His blue eyes caught her and held her and she couldn’t look away.
“Eli’s right through that door,” she said shakily.
The Cowboy's Secret Baby (The Mommy Club Book 3) Page 11