by Cyndi Raye
Ben stood hovering over his desk for a moment, staring at the two of them. Lily didn’t meet his eyes, knowing how well he could read her. It was so hard to keep her reactions and feelings from the man she loved but she’d try harder each day if it kept him safe.
When Ben sat down, Lily let out a breath. She wrung her hands together hoping the idea of a library in the hotel would impress Ben. “I found out through talking to many of the townsfolk that people have no way of getting information. I’d like to take the one room beside the ballroom and turn it into a library of sorts, a circulating library where townsfolk can sign out books for a period of time and guests can sit and enjoy reading in a casual setting.”
“A hotel with a library? An added bonus when travelers stay here.” Ben nodded, a slight grin on his face. “I like it. What do you need to get started?”
“Books.” She smiled then, glad her idea impressed him. “I also thought we could accommodate the townsfolk, invite them for a book reading once a week. Maybe even teach others how to read, you know, the ones who can’t read well. Samuel here claims to be fine reader. He has suggested some classes to help our town develop into fine readers. Every now and again strangers come to town offering their published work. Just the other week a man by the name of Mark Twain came through town on his way to Dallas, trying to sell his book. We could do book readings by the author when this happens. What do you think?”
“You are suggesting we add some activities for our hotel guests and the townsfolk? Interesting concept.”
“Yes, it will draw attention to your hotel. A fine hotel that has showers with running water is great for awhile but then others will copy and you will need something else. Why not start out with a bang?”
Ben looked at her with amazement. “Lily, I knew you would be an asset to this hotel. It’s why I chose you for the general management.”
Lily lowered her eyes. She didn’t want to feel anything like she was feeling for him. It was one thing being madly in love with Ben, but the pride she felt when he said those words made her feel valued as a person. “I’ve got so many ideas, Ben. Weddings in the grand ballroom, tea parties for the women of the town, children’s play groups, oh my, I’m filled with ideas I can’t seem to stop myself.”
A strong hand came across the desk to touch her hand that rested on the opposite edge. “I want to hear every idea you have. For right now, let’s get some books. How shall we proceed?”
<><>
Lily let the excitement show in her face, she didn’t care who was watching. Instead of sitting on the bench waiting for the train to Fort Worth, she paced back and forth wringing her gloved hands. Her small reticule was on the bench beside Ben and Samuel. The three of them were going to purchase books in Fort Worth and bring them back to Wichita Falls on the train. It was a most exciting moment in time. She would be an integral part of designing and building the first circulating library for Wichita Falls.
Lily could sense Ben watching her but she couldn’t stop from pacing. It was probably improper for her to go gallivanting off to Fort Worth with two men but she figured with Samuel along no one would mention she was riding on the train alone with a man. They were on a business trip and most of the townsfolk knew about it after she let Samuel tell the others. Several of the elderly ladies stopped by the hotel earlier this morning to hand Lily suggestions of books to purchase. She had the list tucked in her skirt.
“Lily, please stop pacing. Come here and sit down,” Ben told her, grinning. He patted the bench next to him.
She did as he commanded, only because he was her employer and for no other reason than because she didn’t want to give Samuel the wrong impression about her. She was employed by the man, and had to show the young man she could take orders like everyone else. Even if secretly Ben allowed her more quarter than any employer she ever had. Sitting beside Ben was a mistake though. He accidentally kept bumping his knee against hers.
“Would you stop that,” she whispered, exasperated.
He leaned closer, his warm breath close. “I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t realize I bothered you.”
He grinned before turning away when the big steel machine let loose a walloping sound that made Lily jump. “This is ridiculous. I’m acting like a girl who has never gone on a business trip before.” Lily wrung her hands, folding her fingers together so tightly Ben took her wrists and gently pulled them apart.
“Lily, relax.”
She looked at Ben, realizing he was full of concern for her outlandish behavior. “I’m sorry, Ben. It’s just, well, I want this to be perfect. A new circulating library is a dream come true for so many townsfolk. Imagine how small children can grow up learning to read. Why, it’s almost unheard of here in the West.”
“You’ve fallen in love with Wichita Falls, haven’t you?”
Lily turned to watch the steady rhythm of his chest as he breathed so close to her. She smiled at him. “I have always been in love with this town and now that we can make it grow with your hotel and a library, I’m even more in love with, um, the town.”
Lily jumped out of the seat the moment the whistle blew as the oncoming train made its way down the tracks, the brakes forcing the steel machine to slow down and eventually come to a complete stop. “It’s here. Let’s get a good seat.” She practically ran to embark before other visitors could even get off.
“Slow down, Lily. Wait for us.” Ben called out to her but Lily was too anxious to find a good seat. She worked her way around others getting off and slipped in to a seat with the perfect view of the horizon. A few minutes later Ben sat down beside her as Samuel plopped down in the seat in front.
No words were said as they waited for the train to depart. The slow churning of her stomach began to ease as the chug-chug-chug of the car made its way from Wichita Falls.
Lily began to relax. They were on their way to buy books. An inner voice tugged at Lily knowing she was going to the city where Ben had lived for the last year. She turned to stare at his profile, wondering what kind of life he had in Fort Worth. “Do you miss the ranch you grew up in?” she asked.
He shrugged. “At times. I miss my parents more. Without them, the ranch was too empty. They brought it to life. They were the core of that world, which no longer exists for me.”
“They’ve been gone a long time, Ben. Why didn’t you bring a wife there, fill it with children of your own?”
Ben turned in his seat, staring at her. At first she saw a flicker of hurt in the deepest part of his eyes but quickly masked his emotions. “I was waiting for you, Lily.”
His honest words cut deep in her soul. She turned back to stare at the seat in front of her, not wanting to continue the conversation. She didn’t even know why she had asked in the first place. Perhaps deep inside she wanted to hear him say he had always been waiting for her. A groan escaped her lips as she thought about how her mind was so confused. She loved Ben, so much every little glimpse into his world gave her just enough to keep going forward.
Curses on Byron Ward. She had to stop him but what could she do? Twisting her fingers in her lap, for a moment Lily even contemplated buying a gun and shooting him dead. She placed a hand over her mouth, realizing how awful that made her. Wanting another of God’s children dead was so horrible she couldn’t believe the thought existed in her mind.
“You okay, Lily?” Samuel asked when he turned back and saw her distressed look.
A blush covered her cheeks. Shame ran through every coarse vein in her body. “I’m fine.”
The train began a steady rhythm, so Ben got up and held out his hand. “You haven’t eaten, Lily. Let’s get you something in the dining car.”
She didn’t hesitate to follow him, since that was probably part of the problem. It was crazy what hunger did to a person. Yet, deep in her heart, she knew the truth. What an evil, awful thought. Yet, it seemed the most likely answer to all her problems.
Chapter 6
Fort Worth was a bustling town compared to the quiet o
f Wichita Falls. Lily stared in awe at the smokestacks from the flour mills and cotton gins along the rail line sticking straight up as the train eased closer to their destination. “Welcome to Fort Worth, better known as Cowtown,” the conductor announced. “Please stay in your seats until the car has come to a complete stop. Exit in single file from the car, ladies first.”
“Here we are,” Ben announced, standing up to let Lily from her spot by the window. He held out his hand and she took it, excitement rippling through her once again. The fear mixed with anticipation of seeing a growing city pushed her to step ahead of the others and lead the way to the platform.
As she stood there looking at the city situated on a broad plateau, Lily shuffled her feet waiting for the others to join her. Herds of Longhorn cattle grazed in the grass along the river.
Ben took her elbow in his hand guiding her from the platform to face a large mule and strange looking cart with a roof and seats. He gave the handler a coin and helped Lily in to the contraption. Others followed along, packing it full. “What is this?” she asked, staring at the crowd around her.
“A trolley,” Ben told her, amused. “It will take us in to the city. We’ll stay at the Ellis Hotel tonight and head back to Wichita Falls in the morning.”
As they made their way towards the center of town, the first glimpse of the city was not so great. Cowboys hooped and hollered, staggering through the street, while one man held a rifle in one hand while he waved to the trolley with his other. “It’s obvious these men are a drunken lot. Is this city safe?” Lily settled closer to Ben, who didn’t hesitate to place a comforting arm around her waist.
“You’re looking at what’s called Hell’s Half Acre, Lily. After long, hard cattle drives, these men let off some steam. Ignore them and look ahead. There’s the real city.”
As the mule drawn street car moved along slowly, Lily got a good look at Fort Worth. Business upon business lined both sides of the streets of the main road. Wooden buildings sat beside newly constructed brick buildings. “Amazing,” she whispered.
“There’s our stop.” As the mules slowed to a whisper of a stop, Samuel hopped down, while Ben helped Lily onto the dirt street. He led her towards the giant three story brick building on the corner. Lily stayed silent, trying to take in the city and all the wonders of a bustling place where so many people lived and worked. The whole area was spread out making it appear so much larger than anything she’d ever seen in her life.
They checked in to the hotel and right away Lily tried to compare it to Ben’s hotel. Even though it was newly constructed, the plain walls and lack of décor didn’t impress her one bit. She was sure their hotel was still the best. She leaned in to Ben. “You’ve got this place beat by a long shot.”
He looked down at her with a smile of gratitude. The look he gave her stopped Lily’s heart. She placed a hand over her throat and gasped. She closed her eyes, trying to shake off the strong feelings she had for Ben. It had to stop, she couldn’t go on much longer loving him like this.
She needed to gather her wits. Being so close to Ben for so long was a bad idea. Why did he have to come along? Samuel and her would have been fine, except Ben’s presence did make her feel better in such a strange place. Her emotions were all over the place.
After settling in her small room, Lily poured some water from the pitcher on the small make-shift dresser in to the porcelain basin and washed up. She took out her brush and fixed her hair, rolling it into her usual bun. Securing her traveling hat, Lily waited for the knock on her door to begin their book shopping venture.
As the three walked from store to store, mingling among the crowded streets, Lily began to acquire quite the collection of books. She pulled out her list from the elderly women who insisted she bring back certain editions. “Oh look, there is a book peddler on the side walk across the street. Let’s see what he has!” Excited, Lily began to cross the street when Ben’s arm shot out and pulled her out of the way right before a mule almost toppled her.
His arms were around her as she looked up in to his concerned eyes. “Lily,” he said, exasperation deep in his throat. “Stay right beside me. This cowtown is not for the faint of heart.”
“Let me go,” she urged, a hairs breath above a whisper.
“Promise me you will listen to me? I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I do promise. My mind gets carried away. I’m sorry.”
Ben caressed her cheek with the back of his hand before letting her go. He eased her from his arms and held on to her hand.
When Lily looked up she saw someone staring from across the street. A lovely woman with golden hair holding an expensive parasol turned away after she realized Lily stared back. As they crossed the street and got closer to the book peddler’s cart, Lily forgot all about the woman.
“Good afternoon, Ma’am and Sirs.” The quirky book man in a gray suit too short for his long legs smiled at them, his front tooth nowhere to be seen. “How may I assist you fine folks today?”
Lily began to read off the titles of the books on her list. “If you have these books, my whole town will be happy as larks. I’m looking for Maude Jeannie Young’s Botany Textbook, anything by Viola Case and a book entitled, The Washerwomen of Dallas. Oh, and Lydia Starr McPhearson. These authors are requested by some highly educated townsfolk in Wichita Falls.”
The book peddler began to check his supply. He came up with two of the books requested and then proceeded to show Lily some dime novels. “These are big everywhere and a must for all types of readers. I can have more sent to you next month when I get them in from our Chicago connections.”
“That would be nice.” Lily cast a sideways glance at Ben to find him scouring the streets. She knew the romantic hijinks of outlaws and others would be a welcome mix to the more serious books she planned for her literary collection. “I’ll take all you have in the dime novels and anything else you may suggest for a literary circulating library.”
The surprised look changed to glee when he began to gather all his dime novels on a pile. He placed them in a brown sack and set it on the ground. After carefully selecting several other copies of literary books, he turned to Lily for payment. Lily waited for Ben’s attention. When he turned to her, she noticed the same woman across the street, looking in to a store front, her back to them. Yet Ben had been staring profusely at her. “Have you found what you want?” he asked, feigning interest.
“Yes. Please pay the man for our purchases,” Lily told him, turning to watch the golden-haired woman glance back before continuing down the street out of their eyesight. Her fancy parasol partially hid the golden locks of hair that flowed freely down her back. Lily stared at Ben’s profile, wondering what this woman meant to him. A pang of jealousy crossed over her but she tried squelching it back in to the inner surface of her mind. There would be no Ben and Lily. Ever. She may as well get used to a life without Ben’s love.
Saddened by the fact Ben had a lady friend he tried to hide, Lily gathered her purchases and asked to be taken back to the hotel to rest. There she paced back and forth in the small room, tapping her finger against her chin, sitting on the bed to stare out the small window. Gathering herself together, she straightened out her dress, determined to ignore Ben and this woman. It was none of her business. A deep sigh escaped. Lily put her head in her hands, letting way to the tears that began to tumble down her cheeks.
Ben may well be in love with someone else. How could he? Then she hiccuped, knowing full well he had a year away to share his life with someone. She had deliberately sent his letters back unopened. Why wouldn’t he try to make a life with someone else after she rejected him so many times.
Lily would be brave. She wiped away the tears, staring at her reflection in the cloudy oval mirror on the wall above the dresser. Pinching her cheeks, she smoothed her hair and put on a dark hat with a fishnet veil that hid the red tear stains from her skin.
It was time for Lily to show her independent spirit. Wasn’t that
why she was here in the first place? She didn’t need a man to love, no, she would work so hard at making the hotel one of the best in the area there would be no time for loving someone.
Lily went to the lobby of the hotel to ask the proprietor to let Ben and Samuel know she was ready to renew their shopping excursion. As she waited, she looked outside to see the golden-haired lady and Ben in the front of the hotel talking. Her delicate hand rested on Ben’s sleeve. Lily gasped and covered her mouth quickly. She may be an independent woman now but this hurt deeply. She couldn’t bear to see Ben with someone else.
Ben claimed to love only her and yet there he was, standing in front of God and everyone with someone else. She had to shake this off, it was none of her business. Then Ben covered the lady’s hand and moved it from his sleeve. Lily watched with interest as the woman’s shoulders went back, her chin lifted in defiance and a hand reached out to slap Ben across the face.
Ben nodded to her once, turned towards the hotel door and caught Lily watching. He closed his eyes in slow motion, rubbed his jaw and opened the hotel door before coming to stand in front of Lily. “I didn’t mean for you to see this,” he told her.
“It’s none of my business, Ben.”
“I can explain,” he began before Samuel ran up, interrupting the conversation.
“I found a great supplier of books!” he said, excitement in his voice. “We have twenty minutes before they close for the day. Hurry!” He led them out in to the street and worked his way towards a small wooden building tucked in between two modern shops. Lily and Ben followed behind, barely keeping up with him.
Ben held the door open for Lily. As she walked in, he stopped her. “We’ll discuss these matters later,” he told her softly for her ears only.
Lily sighed. “There is nothing to discuss, Ben. Matters of the heart are no longer my concern.” It was all she could do to look at him with a brave smile.