by HL Nighbor
However, I perfectly represent not judging a book by its cover.
While my appearance may scream stereotypical college, party girl; it couldn’t be farther from the truth, and nothing pisses me off faster than someone making assumptions about me based on my sense of style. With an inner bitch ready to shine and my mama bear about to emerge, I know once I open my mouth, obtaining this job no longer holds any possibility.
But I still can’t quite stop myself.
Taking a deep breath and staring directly in his dark, narrowed eyes, I answer his question while I imagine telling him to go ahead and kiss my curvy ass. “If you’re asking if I have a drug or alcohol problem, I assure you I don’t. If you’re asking if I took a break from school as a result of choosing to spend more time partying than studying, once again you would be incorrect. I left school last year when I gave birth to my daughter. And before you ask, yes, she was unplanned and is a huge consideration. I do, however, have a great support system in place to help with her. To answer you more directly, I am a twenty-two-year-old single mom and full-time student taking it day by day. Will this cause a problem, Sir?”
A hint of a smirk appears on Chris’s face and I swear a dimple hides under his stubble. He transformed from scary to hot again with that slight smile.
“Man, Chris,” Cooper chokes out through fits of laughter as the other two try to maintain their own composure. “She’s a little firecracker. She had no problem putting you in your place.”
“Yep.” Jackson pushes his chair back from the table and heads over to the mini-fridge in the corner. “We’re keeping her. A little sass will be good for this place.”
Taking a sip from the bottle of water Jackson hands me, I calm myself after my little rant. Apparently, some guys out there appreciate a girl who calls you on your bullshit and who don’t mind my occasional diarrhea of the mouth. I will be honest, it happens a lot. I like to speak before I mull over the consequences.
A few moments pass before the interview resumes. Several more questions later, I gained the job which set me on course to complicate my highly organized and controlled life.
CHAPTER TWO
I walk into the Still Water Pub ready to get my night started. Experiencing an amazing last few weeks, I absolutely love this job with my co-workers’ laid-back personalities and desire to create a fun work environment. Once I started working with them, Jackson, Cooper, Beck, and Chris quickly lost their sex appeal, transforming into my crazily, protective, adopted older brothers instead. They drive me crazy on a regular basis and offer nightly entertainment, ensuring maximum fun when we work together. They remind me a lot of the infamous trio I think of frequently but never allow myself to talk about.
Shortly after I started my position, I found out the guys live in an apartment above the bar. They want to buy a house but the convenience of them crammed into the tiny two-bedroom space trumps more room. Their dedication to the place shows and paid off with the pub quickly becoming the go-to place for happy hour and the college crowd. The food and drink specials generate a large following.
“Hey guys,” I yell over the noise as I head behind the bar where Jackson and Cooper serve customers.
“Good evening, darlin.’ Ready for tonight? It appears it’s going to be another busy one,” Jackson says as he pours a beer from the tap.
I roll my eyes as I put on my apron. “Jackson, every night’s a busy night. I don’t complain since busy means better tips.”
Cooper bumps my shoulder playfully as he walks past me. “True. There was no way any of us could predict how big this place would get so quickly. How’s the little princess doing?”
“She was a little cranky when I left tonight, but thankfully Brittany could come over and keep an eye on her at my place. Something tells me she’s going to crash early.” I take one last peek at my phone to make sure no messages from Brittany pop up and switch it over to vibrate.
Not paying attention to where I’m going as I head out from behind the bar to work my tables, I run right into Beck’s chest. His hands on my shoulders stop my forward momentum with our faces only inches apart. Beck leans toward me with lips puckered and I cringe.
Oh god. This cannot be happening. As he continues to lean closer, I turn my head and squeak out an eww. Cooper and Jackson simultaneously mutter gross while shuddering.
Through full laughter, Beck chokes out, “I’m messing with you, Savannah. I was afraid there for a second you may actually let me kiss you.”
“Fuck, that was weird,” Cooper adds. “You’re like a sister to us and the thought of any of us in a relationship with you is plain nasty.”
“I’m glad we all agree,” I respond with a chuckle. “I should get my sisterly ass out to the floor to do my job.”
Still early at a little past six, the pub is mostly filled with the happy hour crowd ordering food after work. In a couple of hours, the vibe will change dramatically, migrating from the quiet after work population to more of a party atmosphere. On Thursdays, we get a large college crowd later in the evening since most frat and house parties take place on Friday and Saturday nights.
Before I know it, two hours pass.
Hollering over the noise of the crowd at Jackson and Cooper, I head back to take a quick break. After a fast stop at the kitchen to drop off my bin of cleared glasses and dishes, I run into the bathroom to relieve my overfilled bladder. As I wash my hands, I realize Chris has yet to make an appearance tonight. I decide to head down to the office for a quick hello.
When I reach the office, I knock on the closed door and wait for a reply. About to leave when no one answers, an agitated Chris throws open the door. Obviously, he didn’t hear me knock considering he seems surprised at me standing there.
“Did you need something, Savannah?” Chris barks at me.
“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine? I stopped by to say hey since you’ve been MIA tonight but clearly someone pissed in your Wheaties.” I bark back and turn to head back down the hall.
“Fuck,” Chris mutters. “I’m sorry, Savannah. Dealing with one crisis after another today put me in a bad mood. Please forgive me.”
I turn around and laugh at Chris. A huge, muscular bad ass trying to pull off a pout and puppy dog eyes provides a funny sight. “You’re forgiven, asshole. You better be glad I like you. Your grumpy ass is worse than Brittany when it’s her time of the month.”
Chris throws an arm around my shoulders as he places a wet sloppy kiss on my cheek and guides me down the hall. I learned early on Chris respects those who can give it as well as they can take it and I can dish it out like the best of them. Despite his ever-constant surly attitude and tendency to spew whatever shit pops into his thick skull, I love him to pieces.
“Speaking of Brittany, when can we finally meet this elusive creature? I’m beginning to believe she may be a friend of the imaginary sort.” Chris smirks mischievously, letting me know whatever leaves his mouth next will earn him a smack. “Doctors exist to help people like you deal with this sort of condition. I would expect an imaginary friend from a child, but as an adult, it’s time to let her go, Savannah.”
“Ha ha, Chris. I hope she isn’t imaginary, you ass, since she’s watching Mac. Anyway, you guys will meet her one of these days. With school, work, and helping me with Mac during most of my shifts, she’s busy and hard to pin down. I will talk to her mom about taking Mac one night so Brittany to come hang out in this fine establishment with us.”
Chris and I continue a brief conversation on the way back to the bar. Brittany and he would make an interesting combination, like fire and dynamite. He rolls his eyes with a little smirk on his face when I state this to him. I know he wants to say more but as we approach the bar, a frantic Beck barely misses plowing us over as he turns to head down the hallway we came from. Cooper and Jackson trail closely behind him.
“Savannah, Brittany called and you need to call her back. She said she texted you and tried calling your cell with no reply. It sounds urge
nt,” Beck tells me.
I grab my cell from my apron pocket and sure enough, a couple unread texts and two missed call notifications appear, but no voicemail. I scan through the texts quickly and only spot messages for me to call her. She gives no specifics other than Mac’s running a fever.
“Shit, guys. Mac’s sick and I need to call Brittany back,” I say as I continue peering at my phone. When I glance up, four pairs of concerned eyes stare back at me.
Before I can explain further, Cooper worriedly says, “Go ahead and leave, Savannah. We have it covered. You need to take care of the little princess.”
I run up to Cooper and give him a huge hug and noisy kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. Thank you.”
“Where’s my sugar, darlin’?” Jackson asks with playful jealousy.
I roll my eyes and give him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek as well before I grab my purse from its spot behind the bar. As I run out the back door leading to the employee parking lot, I let the guys know I’ll call tomorrow with an update, not knowing if I’ll be able to work my shift the following day.
When I call Brittany on the drive home, she argues I didn’t need to leave work since she had the situation under control. A handful when healthy, Mac becomes a holy terror when sick, needy and whiny. I don’t question Brittany’s ability to handle the situation but mom guilt causes me to head home. Mac needs her mama right now, and honestly, I need Mac, too.
Walking through my front door, I call out to Brittany while setting down my purse on the little table by the front door. “Thanks, gorgeous. I’ll take over from here. Hopefully, you don’t catch this – whatever it is.”
Mac lays snuggled up against her Aunt Brittany on the couch. I sit down beside her and pick my daughter up. She opens her glossy eyes and whimpers a pathetic sounding, “Mama,” as she cuddles in close.
Heat pours off her little body. Breaking this fever becomes my top priority. The task will not be an easy one.
“No worries, Savannah,” Brittany tells me as she gathers up her purse and jacket to leave. “Her temp was a little over a hundred and two about an hour ago and I gave her Tylenol. The details are written on the whiteboard on the fridge.”
“Thanks again. I’ll call in the morning and check in. Depending on how the night goes, I may not need you to watch Mac for me tomorrow.”
Brittany bends down to give Mac a kiss on the forehead and brushes her dark curls from her face. “Sounds like a plan. Hopefully, you get some rest,” she says before she heads out the door.
After Brittany leaves, I stand up with Mac and head over to the bed, placing her down while I switch my work clothes out for a pair of shorts and a tank. Once dressed, I strip Mac down to her diaper to help her body release the heat. I turn off the lights in the apartment except the lamp on the nightstand and after checking the whiteboard, I set my alarm for her next round of medication.
I crawl into bed and climb under the covers, trying hard not to disturb Mac. After getting situated, I roll to my side to watch my little sleeping angel. I can’t help but run my fingers over her soft curls and gently brush her rosy cheeks. The joy Mac brings to my life makes the trials and tribulations worth it, and I would not trade her for anything in the world. I still clearly remember the devastation of discovering my pregnancy two years ago. However tough the journey, my life didn’t end like I initially believed.
No. No. No. I can’t believe it. I stare down at the test in my hands and can clearly distinguish the two vibrant, pink lines. Pregnant. Being only twenty years old and a full-time student leaves me in a difficult spot to raise a child. I know my parents will not help me out. We can tolerate thirty minutes in the same room on the best of days.
“Savannah,” Brittany says through the closed door. “Are you okay? What does it say?”
Slowly, I stand up and open the bathroom door. A noticeably concerned Brittany stands on the other side watching me. In shock, I can’t get my brain to send the message to my mouth to speak. I hand the test over to Brittany in a daze and the tears fall in heavy streams down my face.
Brittany approaches and throws her arms around me. “Everything will be okay, Savannah. We’ll figure this out. Do you know what you want to do?”
Getting my brain to function again, I sob, “Brittany, I can’t get an abortion. I guess in nine months I’ll be having a baby? Oh, fuck. What am I going to do? I can’t live in the dorms with a baby. My part-time job at the campus bookstore doesn’t fully support me, let alone another person. And what am I going to do about school?”
With tears streaming from my eyes and snot running from my nose, I’m a red-hot mess. I turn on the sink and gaze into the mirror confirming the state of my appearance. I splash some cool water on my face to attempt to make myself presentable. After drying off, I turn to find Brittany waiting patiently to pull myself together.
“First things first, Brittany, I definitely need to make a doctor appointment and then I can go from there.”
“Okay. We have this. School will be over in a couple of months. You’re already going to be staying with me for the summer. You’ll have some time to figure things out. You don’t need to make any rash decisions. Also, I texted my mom and she told us to come over – she’ll help.”
We gather up our belongings and lock up my dorm room. Luckily, I live in one of the few singles available on campus, which means no nosy roommate to deal with. Dealing with gossip would only make this situation ten times worse. I prefer my private life, stay private. Brittany will keep this to herself until I’m ready to let others know.
I remember little from the time we get in Brittany’s car and the time we arrive at her house. My brain will not turn off, constantly cycling through a loop of the decisions needing to be made and how every single one of them will affect my life forever.
Glancing outside the window of the car, Brittany’s mom stands on the front porch waiting for us. Before I can even get my hand on the car door handle, Jenna yanks it open and pulls me into her arms as she whispers, “We’ll figure this out, Savannah. We’re here for you and support any decision you make. Remember I was in this exact place when I was pregnant with Brittany. I understand your journey more than you can imagine right now.”
The reassurance from Jenna causes the tears to flow again. I nod my acceptance of her statement since I find talking too overwhelming right now. Jenna grabs my hand and leads me up the front stairs into the house and guides me into the living room to take a seat on the sofa.
Jenna sits on the chair across from the couch and Brittany sits down right next to me with a box of tissues in hand. I kick off my shoes and pull my feet up under me. They both patiently wait for me to get comfortable and gather my thoughts.
Once settled in, Jenna asks, “Savannah, where’s your head at right now?”
“Honestly, I don’t know considering the shock of the situation. This will change my entire life. I do know keeping the baby is my only choice. I can’t imagine making any other decision.”
Brittany squeezes my hand. “I know I can speak for my mom on this, too, but know you’re not alone. We will help you. This isn’t the end of the world, Savannah. We will take this one step and one moment at a time.”
Jenna nods in agreement and brings up the dreaded topic, “You need to let the father know. You can’t keep this from him. He may choose not be involved, but he has the right to know.”
Brittany moves closer to me and squeezes my hand even tighter, giving me more strength than she can even imagine right now. She knows this story isn’t the easiest to tell.
I glance at my friend and she gives me a nod of encouragement. Taking a deep breath, I tell Jenna how the father could be one of three. Not wanting her to judge me, I go on to tell her how I threw caution to the wind and acted on instinct with Bas, Austin, and Finn. With no way to contact them, I’ll take this journey on my own. I don’t give her every detail of those amazing three days I dream about constantly, but I do tell her about the connection with them and h
ow, in the moment, the weekend with the three guys felt overwhelmingly right.
Snapping out of my daydream, I take another glance at Mac and wonder how different my life would be if Bas, Austin, and Finn were still in the picture. I fall asleep crying over those unforgettable men who unknowingly took a piece of my heart when we said our goodbyes at the end of one life altering weekend.
CHAPTER THREE
Rolling over, I catch a glimpse of the clock on my nightstand and notice seven in the morning came too soon for this sleep-deprived mama. Due to her fever, Mac woke up miserable several times throughout the night. After a satisfying stretch, I roll out of bed and head into the kitchen to get a pot of coffee going. Caffeine will replace Brittany as my best friend today.
Once I get the coffee going, I decide to try to take a quick shower before Mac wakes up. Quietly, I head into the bedroom to grab a quick change of clothes and head into the bathroom to clean up and enjoy a little bit of alone time. These may be the last few minutes I’ll get before my angel wakes up.
Feeling semi-human again after a shower and some caffeine in my system, I decided to tackle a few chores since Mac still sleeps soundly. I get a load of laundry started, the apartment picked up a bit and some bills paid. As I sit down to launch into some school work, a knock on my front door wakes Mac up. Shit. Not expecting anyone, the knock surprises me. Brittany would let herself in.
I pick up a crying Mac as I run to answer the door, in shock when I open it. Standing there, completely occupying the space on my tiny entry porch, I find Jackson, Cooper, Beck, and Chris with their hands full of plastic shopping bags.
I take a second glance, my eyes full of disbelief. Is Chris holding a white teddy bear with a pink bow?
Jackson steps forward and gives me a kiss on the forehead as he gently brushes his fingers through Mac’s hair. “Good morning, darlin.’ We wanted to stop by to check on how you’re doing and bring over some supplies for the day.”