by HL Nighbor
Crazily busy for even a Friday night, several hours pass in a blink of an eye. Besides my brief encounters with Jackson and Beck while grabbing orders from the bar, no time exists to touch base with the guys apart from a brief hello in passing. I run around my section on pure caffeine and adrenaline. If I stop for too long, I’ll experience crash and burn.
Chris announces last call prompting me to walk through my section one final time for the night collecting last minute orders. When the last customer leaves the bar, the hard work of putting the place back together begins. I grab a bin from the kitchen and head back out to clear my tables. We’re such a well-oiled machine now, we’ll have this place cleaned up in less than an hour.
I buckle down and get to work on my section.
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Cooper heading to the jukebox to make the musical selections for the rest of the evening. With Cooper, you never know what will come out of the jukebox. A lot depends on his mood. When some heavy rock disaster opens, I sigh. He appears to be in another one of his funks. Something happened, and I will ask him about it later. Usually, something minor like Chris pissing him off or a handsy customer causes his funk, but it doesn’t keep me from worrying about him.
When I finish clearing my tables, I head toward the kitchen with my full bin of glasses. As I approach the hall, the opening notes to Dire Straits’ Romeo and Juliet plays on the jukebox causing me to pause my steps. I managed to avoid this song for a little over two years, not an easy feat since it’s a staple on most bar jukeboxes and used to be in my personal playlist. However, there’s no avoiding the song at this moment and the emotions this song invokes run deep and strong.
As the weekend progresses, the more I find myself ecstatic I took the guys up on their offer for the weekend. With each passing day, I fall for them a little farther and I give up another piece of my heart to each of them. Even though I know my heart will be shattered, a part of me accepts their anticipated departure from my life on Monday with little issue. That part of me knows, if they stayed, it would be difficult to choose one of them which I would be forced to do.
Bas, Austin, Finn, and I started the evening by hanging out at Seattle Center and then catching the Laser Floyd light show at the Pacific Science Center. Currently, we sit inside the Hurricane, one of my favorite greasy spoons in Seattle, not only for the food but also for the one of a kind ambiance. The diner provides customers a wide array of classic dishes, as well as some one of a kind creations. On this late Saturday evening, a mix of customers sit within its walls – many not ready to end their evenings of partying.
The music from the jukebox resonates clearly over the noise of the boisterous crowd. When the opening chords of Dire Straits’ Romeo and Juliet sound from the speakers, Finn grabs my hand and drags me out of the booth.
“Dance with me, Savannah,” he whispers in my ear.
Shocked by his request, I reply quietly, “I’m not dancing with you in the middle of a restaurant, Finn. Do you have a flask hidden somewhere I’m not aware of? You must be drunk.”
He pulls me closer to his body as we stand right next to the table, places my hands around his neck, and then slides his hands down my body to settle on my waist. “No one’s even paying attention. Humor me, okay?”
Deciding not to argue, I give in and snuggle close while we dance. Finn sings to me and holds me tightly to his body through the song. As the song ends, I gaze into Finn’s beautiful green eyes full of emotion. Instantly, a lump forms in my throat and my eyes fill with tears. No longer able to hold his gaze, I lay my head on his chest, overcome with emotions of my own.
Finn holds me tighter and speaks softly in my ear. “You know, Savannah, if the situation was different, I could fall in love with you. You have already claimed a piece of my heart this weekend. We could be great together. There’s a connection between us I can’t deny and it sucks that, come Monday morning, we’ll be going our separate ways. I know I’ll never forget you or this weekend.”
A single tear escapes from my eye at Finn’s sweet, heartfelt words and rolls slowly down my cheek. He lowers his head and kisses my tear away with those perfectly plump lips. He proceeds to kiss across my cheek until his mouth connects with mine. I can taste the saltiness of my tear on his lips. Slow and sweet, he pulls me closer as he deepens the kiss. No urgency. No demand.
When we pull apart, I stare into Finn’s tear-filled eyes and with a voice full of emotion, bare my soul. “I’ll always remember, Finn. Thank you for giving me many memories to carry with me. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart. My heart will be shattered into a million pieces when we say goodbye but I wouldn’t change a thing from our time together.”
A loud a crash brings me out of my memory, and a flood of tears running down my face. Hoping the guys didn’t notice, I flee to the bathroom to pull myself together, not ready to answer the questions they’ll inevitably ask. My normal excuses will fall on deaf ears this time around. Using Mac or school as the reason behind my emotional breakdown won’t fly with the guys and I know it.
“Savannah, honey?” Chris’s concerned voice comes through the closed bathroom door. “I know you’re not okay. Don’t try to tell me differently. But I do know you need to come out here and tell us what in the hell happened. You scared the shit out of us.”
“Give me a few minutes.” I steel myself for the conversation and questions about to come. “Let me use the bathroom and then we can talk.”
With no way to avoid this conversation - even if I tried, the guys would not let me - I take several minutes to use the restroom, wash my hands and compose myself. I grab my phone from out of my apron pocket and notice a missed text from Jenna. Praying I can use Mac as an excuse to postpone this train wreck for a little longer, disappoint sets in when I read the message from Jenna telling me to enjoy a good night’s sleep and she’ll be keeping Mac until the morning.
I walk out of the restroom and find Jackson, Cooper, Beck, and Chris standing post outside the door with worried expressions on their handsome faces.
Cooper pulls me into his arms. “What’s going on, Savannah? You were with us and then suddenly you were standing there in a daze, crying.”
Chris says nothing as he pulls me from Cooper’s arms and drags me out into the main bar. When we get to the little seating area with a couple plush couches, he sits and pulls me down next to him. He takes my chin in his hand to raise my eyes to his and firmly says, “Start talking.”
Knowing I can’t stall any longer as I stare into Chris’s eyes, I take a deep breath to launch into my explanation. The next thing I know, the tears flow down my face like rivers. Keeping these emotions bottled up for the last two years now causes them to spill out uncontrollably. I don’t talk about it – ever. Brittany knows it. Jenna knows it. The dam opens, forcing me to deal whether I want to or not.
“Darlin.’” Jackson throws strong arms around me. “You’re killing me here. Obviously, this is something you need to get off your chest if it has you this upset. It can’t be that bad.”
“Oh, Jackson. You don’t understand. If you make me tell you, then you must promise me you will not judge me for what I am about the say,” I reply with defeat and hesitation clear in my voice.
“Savannah, you know we would never judge you,” this comes from Beck who sits across from me patiently awaiting my explanation.
“Here goes nothing,” I mumble under my breath. With a stronger voice and a lowered head, I lay it all out there.
“The song came on the jukebox and it triggered some memories which are emotional for me. As you know, I don’t talk about Mac’s dad and avoid the topic. Most people assume we’re on bad terms or he made the decision to not be involved. The song reminds me of her dad.” I hope my downplayed explanation satisfies their curiosity.
My hope doesn’t last long when Cooper replies, “I’m missing something here. If you didn’t part on bad terms and he didn’t make the decision not to be involved, where is he? Your reaction le
ads me to believe you hold feelings for him.”
Yep. Not getting out of this discussion. “I don’t talk about it because I don’t know who her dad is,” I answer Cooper’s question, and by the puzzled faces, I know I need to offer more explanation. “Two years ago, I had an amazing weekend with three friends. It wasn’t planned but it happened and at the end of the weekend, we went our separate ways.”
I pause awaiting their reaction but their expressions only hold acceptance – no judgment. They ask a few questions about details I find odd but I answer them anyway without divulging too many personal details. I tell them how the guys found themselves in Seattle on leave visiting friends and decided to spend the final weekend playing tourists. When they ask why I couldn’t contact the possible baby’s father, I explain the circumstances and how I tried with no success.
Throughout our question and answer session I expect more of a reaction, considering how protective they can be. A few times during the conversation, I watch them silently conversing with themselves with their eyes and facial expressions. Without a doubt, they’re keeping something from me but I keep my mouth shut.
At the end of the night, I leave with hugs from each of them and reassurance everything will be all right.
CHAPTER FIVE
In celebration of the successful launch of the pub and a prosperous last several months, the guys closed today to host a party for the employees and their friends and families. I tried to avoid bringing Mac with me, but the guys protested. According to them, the right to show off the little princess was one in which they were entitled.
Also upon their request, I invited Brittany to attend the festivities but due to other obligations today, she couldn’t make it.
I pull my beat-up Honda Accord into the small employee parking lot behind the pub. The weather turned out to be nice for an early June day in Seattle. The sun shines brightly in the clear blue sky, not a cloud in sight. As I get out of my car, I smell the meat on the grill and my ears fill with the laughter of my coworkers enjoying a day off on a Sunday afternoon.
I open the back door to take Mac out of her car seat. A headband sporting a big, purple bow barely tames her riot of brown curls. She gazes at me with huge, brown eyes framed by super long, dark lashes and gives me one of her big, toothy grins.
While kicking purple, chuck covered feet, she reaches out for me and squeals, “Mama, Mama!”
I reach in, unbuckle her from her car seat, and grab her diaper bag. Knowing the guys’ excitement in prancing around with Mac and this being the first time she will meet my coworkers, I dressed her as cute as possible. Her purple chucks and purple headband coordinate nicely with her zebra print tee and purple tutu.
Once in my arms, Mac immediately wiggles to be put down. I lower her to the ground, lock up the car and readjust the multiple bags I need to carry in. Taking hold of her little pudgy hand, we walk into the employee entrance at the back of the pub. When we enter the hallway, Chris’s voice catches my attention from the office.
Mac and I head toward the office after deciding to go say hello before joining the festivities. The closer we get, the louder Chris’s voice becomes. The conversation sounds heated and I debate on whether to interrupt. My nosiness gets the best of me. I choose to move a little closer to figure out what fired Chris up.
“Jackson, you know this isn’t a coincidence. She has to be the same girl and when she finds out we know, she’s going to be pissed,” Chris yells in the small room.
“Do you think I don’t know this already? What can we do? They’re going to run into each other today and something tells me it’s going to be catastrophic,” Jackson replies firmly.
“We should warn her, Jackson,” Beck calmly states. “We at least owe her some time to prepare herself.”
“We can’t, Beck,” Jackson counters. “This is the best way. We aren’t one hundred percent sure she’s even the same girl.”
“Damnit, Jackson,” Cooper growls. “I don’t agree at all, but at this point we have no other choice.”
While trying to make heads or tails of their conversation, Mac wiggles free and runs as fast as her pudgy little legs can while screaming for her favorite uncle, “Unka Ka Ka. Unka Ka Ka.”
As Mac makes it to the office door, it swings open. Chris squats down with arms wide open and a shit eating grin on his face. “Aren’t you a pretty little princess today?” He tells her in a voice which pulls at my heartstrings every time he uses it.
Mac giggles as Chris kisses her chubby cheek and he proceeds to blow raspberries in her chunky neck. The other three who stand hesitantly in the background distract me from the interaction between Chris and my daughter. Jackson wears an expression of indifference, while Beck and Cooper appear nervous.
“Everything okay guys?” I question hoping to figure out more about the conversation I eavesdropped on a moment ago.
“Everything’s fine, Savannah,” Jackson states abruptly. “Nothing to worry about it. You can leave your bags in here if you would like.”
I enter the office and drop my purse and Mac’s diaper bag inside the door. As I take one more peek at the guys, I sense the underlying tension. Something seems off about the situation but decide to drop it for now.
“Are we ready to join the party?” Chris asks Mac while she squirms in his arms.
Jackson walks over and takes Mac from Chris. After a quick kiss on her cheek, Jackson lowers her to the floor and holds onto her hand while they walk toward the main bar area.
Unencumbered now, Chris slings his arms around my shoulders and directs me toward the party while Beck and Cooper follow behind us.
Once we reach the main bar, I lose track of where Jackson took off with my daughter. The crowded room full of my co-workers with their friends and family makes it hard to spot them. With no reason to worry, I head into the chaos to do some mingling of my own.
The afternoon flies by, and I find myself enjoying the day greatly. As expected, Mac’s the star of the show. Between the guys and my other co-workers, Mac wants for nothing today. They dance with her, sneak her snacks when they believe I don’t see them, and generally spoil her rotten.
All my hesitation in bringing her today vanished hours ago.
I catch Cooper approaching me with Mac in his arms. “The little princess needs a diaper change. I’m going to take her back to the office and get her cleaned up if it’s okay with you, Savannah?”
“Be my guest,” I answer. “Her diaper bag is on the floor right inside the door.”
The one thing I appreciate since Cooper, Jackson, Beck, and Chris entered my life happens to be how hands on they insist on being with everything - no task too gross, too messy or too big. I know many would be uncomfortable in my situation but the trust I hold for these guys remains endless. Their support and assistance, extra sets of hands to help ease the burden, fill me with relief.
“Hey, Cooper,” I yell at his back as he walks away. “I’m going to step outside and get a bit of fresh air really quick.”
“No problem, Savannah,” he responds, not missing a step.
When I get outside, I take a deep cleansing breath and enjoy the moment of silence. My life does not contain a lot of quiet and I cherish any moment I happen to get. I close my eyes as I lean against the brick wall of the pub and let my mind take me away to a different place and time.
We decided to head to Pioneer tonight to enjoy a few drinks and dance. Bas objected initially but once he realized he happened to be outnumbered, he caved hesitantly. While Bas insists on standing guard off the dance floor, Austin and Finn take turns entertaining me on it. Making eye contact with Austin, I nod my head toward the bar and leave the dance floor to get a fresh drink.
As I wait for the bartender to approach, a hot breath gusts across my face and the heat of another body standing too close envelops me. I shift back a step and turn toward the person who insists on crowding my personal space, finding a guy in his mid-twenties standing before me. Everything about him screams a
verage. Average height, average build, and average in appearance. He doesn’t hold a candle to Bas, Austin, or Finn.
Mr. Average opens his mouth to speak when strong arms wrap around me and soft lips press a gentle kiss behind my ear. Discouraged when he realizes he won’t be heading home with me tonight, Mr. Average makes his departure. I spin to determine which of the three guys staked their claim and to be honest, the idea fills me with excitement. Being claimed by either Bas, Austin, or Finn would be a dream come true.
Behind me, I find Austin with a sexy smirk on his face. “Hey, beautiful. Do you want to head outside for a quick breather?”
“Yeah. Sounds good,” I answer without hesitation. The idea of being alone with Austin fills me with a different heat the cool evening air won’t be able to extinguish.
Austin grabs my hand and I follow him out to the back patio to cool off from the hot, packed Friday night bar scene and to escape the deafening noise of the club. After hours of dancing, I find this break, not only welcome, but needed. The fire grows inside me with the slight touch of Austin’s hand. At this rate, it will be a full-blown inferno if left unchecked.
Trying to gather some control over my body, I close my eyes and lean against the cool brick wall of the bar. After taking several deep breaths to regulate my heartbeat, I tell Austin, “Thanks for suggesting this tonight and for coming to my rescue in there. I can’t remember the last time I went dancing.”
“No need to thank me. I’ve enjoyed myself, too. We don’t get a lot of downtime in the Seals. Also, it was my pleasure to stop that guy even though I’m slightly disappointed he gave up so easily. If it was me, I would have fought harder. You’re worth it.” Austin replies.
I open my eyes as he turns his body toward mine and inches in closer until only half a foot separates us. I raise my hand to lift the sweat soaked hair from my neck. “He gave up because there was no competition. Any girl would be stupid to turn you down. But, anyway, I couldn’t imagine doing what you guys do. It’s admirable, but it would be too much pressure for me. I don’t know if I could handle it.”