by Abbey Foxx
The ball comes to Topher through a line of players and out to me as I pass behind him, running in a chain for just long enough to confuse all but one of their players. For a brief moment, no-one knows where the ball is, until I emerge on the far side at the very edge of the field, a good ten yards from the nearest player and a clean corridor of grass in front of me all the way to the end zone.
There is a pile of bodies in the center of the field, a call for a flag that doesn’t come, me and the one player who watched it all but didn’t react quick enough closing in fast. I’m the quickest player in the English rugby premier league by a country mile and I thought I was the fastest here too, but with twenty yards to go to the end zone, I’m conscious of something closing in as fast as a fucking greyhound.
He has one chance to stop me, but if he fucks up the timing the game is over. Fifteen yards to go, and I dig in, head down and teeth gritted to find that extra gear, the swirl of support from the home crowd igniting a fire inside me. I don’t even know what the clock says, but I know if he stops me now, there will be barely enough time to get the field unit on, let alone kick the ball through the uprights. It’s now or never.
Ten yards to go and he’s on me. I can feel the heat from the blood pulsing in his veins, his breath going cold on the back of my neck. It’s all about who wants it more, who is the better athlete, who will survive the challenge.
A brief look behind me sees him launch himself, leaping through the air like a jaguar setting on it’s prey, lithe and wiry, smaller than me, but stocky and thick across the chest, capable and determined.
I’m five yards out from the line when he makes contact, arms wrapped around my chest and locked in tight to jerk me out of stride and pull me to the floor in one unbroken movement. A lesser man would admit the game was up. A journeyman would break stride, fall by the wayside and greet defeat like an old friend. Not me. Fuck that. I don’t go down so easily. I don’t break like normal people do, and I definitely don’t lose at something I want to win.
With every ounce of strength in my body, I hold him off. I stumble, look for all the world like I’m going down, but gather myself quickly, dig my heels into the turf, stand up straight and hold on.
“What the fuck?”, I hear him say, like a distant call for help behind me, as I stride like a giant, the final five yards, the rest of both teams having already given up, stranded in the middle of the field to watch the wild cat and the rhino fight it out to the death.
It must look incredible for everyone watching. It must look unbelievable from almost every angle. At that pace, with that force, I should be eating turf and waiting for the world to declare us losers.
Instead, I hold him off, unsure exactly how I’ve done it myself, and as the clock ticks down I battle the last five yards, my legs weighed down but not giving up, not just into the end zone, but right underneath the fucking goal posts.
We’ve won. When the clock ticks out and the klaxons sound around the stadium, I drop to my knees, exhausted, clutching for breath. Their player looks at me like I’m some kind of impossible being, before breaking out of his tackle hold, and scrambling away from the approaching fans as they begin to invade the field.
We’ve done it, we’ve beaten our bitterest rivals, and it feels like we’ve won the whole fucking thing. That’s 4-4. A win in every fucking game I’ve played in and a loss in every one I haven’t. I don’t need to say anything else to prove my worth, the statistics speak for themselves. The players can see it, the coaching staff can see it, Penny can see it, and Harrison can see it, even if he struggles to admit it. I may not be what we wants, but without me, Moxlin are going to fail. I’m the best thing that’s happened to this team since they won the superbowl back when the thing didn’t even matter.
We victory lap until security clear the field, my legs so rubbery I can barely stand. In the locker room afterwards champagne gets passed around, while Harrison and the rest of the coaching staff give reluctant praise to a side that lost by six touchdowns the last time they met these opponents.
No-one can believe what they saw me do. Jackson gets it up on replay just so we can go through it again. When he’s done, we switch to the TV output of the game and watch the commentators break the move down as though they’ve just seen something that will never be repeated.
When Harrison comes up to me, I expect muted congratulations. A pat on the back, a shake of the hand, or a thank you at the very least. What I get is something else entirely.
“Office, when you’re done here. I’ll be waiting for you so don’t fuck around.”
“Just me?”
“Just you, Jasper. Do you see me speaking to anyone else here?”
I want Penny to come down, but she doesn’t, which I respect. The shit with Topher’s still dragging on, and I know she’s been trying to keep out of the way of it. I didn’t see her in the crowd either, but I know she would have been there watching. She doesn’t miss a game, not even when she’s pretending she’s not interested. When I’m done here, I’ll see her. I may be exhausted, but I’m never too tired for Penny. I could be dead for a million years and just one look from that girl would bring me back to life again.
I know she thinks I shouldn’t be saying the stuff I am to her, but I can’t help it. I’m spontaneous and I do things that I feel, even if I don’t think them through properly. I’m not lying either when I say it. As far as I’m concerned nothing else is as important as Penny and I.
I’ve fallen for that girl so hard I’ve got bruises. Strip back everything else and leave what we’ve got and if I died tomorrow I’d die a happy man. We just need to work out how I can continue to play rugby, or football if it has to be that, and be together. I never thought I’d get on with this game when I first started playing it, but to be honest, it isn’t as bad as I originally thought. It isn’t rugby, of course, nowhere fucking near, but it isn’t golf either so if it has to be this rather than nothing at all, I’m big enough to cope.
“Well done.”
Topher doesn’t usually give praise, especially not to the person fucking his now ex-fiancee. Off the field this is the most he’s said to me in weeks.
“Likewise. Couldn’t have done that without you.”
“You coming tonight? You should.”
I’m suspicious but I suppose it isn’t outside the realms of possibility that he’s finally gotten over his issue and forgiven me.
“Let me talk to Penny.”
“Shit man, she doesn’t own you. I thought you were better than that.”
Jackson and Cole are looking over and laughing. “Treat them mean keep them keen”, Jackson says. “That’s always worked for me.”
“Jackson, I’ve seen your wife, I know who wears the trousers.”
“Just warning you, man.”
“Tonight”, Topher repeats. “Don’t get controlled on the field and off of it.”
I feel like saying something to hurt him, but I stop myself from stooping that low. Topher may deserve it, but it isn’t fair. He’s lost already so I’m not going to rub salt in his wounds, even if he is being a class A jerk.
“Right.”
“Plenty of opportunity to get laid with proper girls. Sexy girls, you know. With big tits. Ones that know how to suck dick. That goes for you too, Jackson.”
I’m so close to saying something, but I hold myself back. These are the last words of a condemned man trying to hold on to a memory of what he no longer has.
“Mrs. Jackson knows how to suck dick.”
“I’m not talking about your Mama.”
I have no idea why Harrison wants to see me, but I figure it’s to do with the game. We went against his call, we could easily have lost and he’s probably super pissed about it. I’m not the quarterback, but Harrison’s clever enough to know that out on the field, I make the calls now. I may only be two months new here, but the team listens to me. Topher listens to me too, even though he’ll go ahead and make out that it was his plan from the start if whatever
we do happens to come off.
Harrison’s alone in his office. It’s the one right next to Penny’s and I can’t help but glance through the glass hoping she might be there. She isn’t, of course. There’s no-one else about except for me and Harrison.
“You wanted to see me?”
Harrison eyeballs me coldly as I sit down.
“I’ve got good news.”
Out of the top drawer of his desk he pulls an envelope which he drops on the desk in front of me.
“I’m getting a pay rise?”
“You’re going the fuck home.”
My heart stops dead.
“Excuse me?”
Harrison jabs the envelope with his finger.
“Plane tickets. Your flight leaves on Monday, it was the earliest I could get.”
“What? Is this a fucking joke?”
“I spoke with your manager this morning, Dougie. The ban has been lifted. Your club want you back.”
My head is spinning. “The ban?”
“Jasper, are you concussed?”
“It’s just, my contract-.”
“What do you give a shit about your contract for? Your club want you back. Congratulations, it’s fucking great news. It also means that you can forget all about breaking my daughter’s heart.”
“You’re sending me home?”
“I think you should see the club medic on your way out.”
“Does Penny know about this?”
“Penny has nothing to do with this decision.”
“I have a contract with this club-.”
“Not any more you don’t. You have a contract with Corsham Rugby Club and your owner Alex Santos is paying for your services. It’s out of my hands, Jasper. He’s calling you back.”
I can feel my blood boiling.
“You fucking cunt.”
I watch Harrison rise from his chair, his face reddening.
“Say that again and I’ll knock your teeth out.”
“This isn’t over, Harrison.”
“It’s over, Jasper. Go back home, stay out of my daughter’s life. One cheating asshole is enough for a lifetime. She doesn’t need another prick like you fucking up her life again.”
I leave. There is nothing more I can do with Harrison apart from take out my anger on him and that’s not going to help the situation at all. I need to speak to Dougie and Alex Santos, and I need to speak to Penny.
Harrison cares more about his daughter than his club, which I have to admire. I just wish he knew how serious I was about being with her. None of that will matter, however, if he’s forcing me out and I have to go back home to finish my contract at Corsham.
Monday is two days away. That gives me hardly any time at all to call them and get this sorted. I knew this moment was going to come eventually, I just didn’t expect it halfway through the season, right at the start of my relationship with Penny, when Moxlin Tiger’s finally have a chance to make it to the play offs and turn their fortunes around.
Can I really go back to England now, and do I even have a choice to refuse? This is completely fucked up.
When I get back home I call Dougie. I’ll talk to Penny later when I’ve worked out what options I have left. The call clicks through almost immediately, and I get the impression they’ve been waiting for me to get in contact.
“Very impressive, Jasper. You’re all over the news.”
“I guess I’m just a natural.”
“I have to say, I expected to see a bit more of you doing a bit more of what you do here. You know, drinking, threatening journalists, fucking everything in a skirt.”
“What can I say? America has matured me.”
“It’s time to come home.”
“What did they say?”
“You’ve been fined, which the club has agreed to pay, and you’ll need to do a course, which we’ll talk about when you get back. I take it Harrison has spoken to you?”
“He gave me some plane tickets.”
“Business class, Jasper. We only thought it fair. You seem to have made a name for yourself out there.”
“It’s halfway through the season, Dougie.”
“Corsham need you, Jasper. I take it you’ve been keeping up.”
“I’ve been keeping up. You’re shit without me.”
“Then you’ll be itching to get back.”
“Like I say, Dougie, it’s halfway through the season here.”
Dougie clears his throat. He’s being patient, formal. “We’re giving you a few days to adjust and then you’ll be straight back into it. Just how you like it.”
“What’s happened to my contract here?”
“Absolved, which means your contract automatically defaults to Corsham Rugby Club. There’s nothing for you to worry about.”
“This club will fall apart without me playing.”
“That’s not our concern, and it’s certainly not Harrison’s. Tie up all of your loose ends and get on the plane, you’re coming home, no two fucking ways about it. I don’t care if you’ve fallen in love with American football, you’ve found the future mother of your children or you’ve already fathered a family of four, you are getting on that plane whether you like it or not, because from right now, you belong to Corsham. Break that contract and you’ll be acting illegally. Also, your work permit is about to run out, just so you know.”
Not so formal anymore.
I click off. I need time to think about what has just happened. Best game of my life, worst possible moment to follow it. Harrison couldn’t be happier even though it means his club will sink. I don’t know what I could possibly have done to make him hate me so much. Alright, I haven’t got the best of reputations and that night out after the first game was a bit of carnage, but since then, and since Penny and I have been routinely fucking, I haven’t put a foot wrong.
This is fucked up. I’m contracted to a rugby club in England that are obliging me to return. Moxlin Tigers have just ended my contract, which means I technically don’t have a visa to stay here any more, and then, mixed up in all of this is Penny, the girl I’ve fallen head over heels in love with.
I can’t leave Penny, which means she either comes with me, or I don’t go at all.
I need a fucking drink.
Penny
This cannot be happening. We are only halfway through the best season we have had in years, Jasper and I have real long term potential together, he’s supposed to be contracted with us for at least until the end of the season, and now this. They are lifting the ban and pulling him away. I wasn’t even consulted. This is my player, and I wasn’t even spoken to before the decision was made.
I’m trying to concentrate on the implications this has for Moxlin Tigers and forget about the implications it has for Jasper and I as a couple, because I don’t want to believe it. If Jasper goes, this is the end of us. No more bad jokes, office fucking and posh restaurants. Jasper would go back to his life, and I’d have to work out how to live mine without him.
Dad doesn’t seem to be affected by this in the way I expected of a man who is likely to see his beloved football club collapse. If Jasper goes, it isn’t just the end of our relationship, it’s the end of Moxlin Tigers too. Forever. We won’t survive this without him, he’s that important to the future of this club.
“There’s nothing we can do.”
“If we lose Jasper, it’s the end.”
“There’s nothing I can do, Penny. They want their player back.”
“He’s under contract here until the end of the season.”
Dad sighs. “Not any more he’s not, they bought him back out.”
“You sold him? You sold our best player?”
“He’s not even our player, let alone our best one, and he never was anyway. This isn’t his sport and it’s not even his country. We can get a real football player with the money they gave us. We’re 4-4 Penny, there is every chance we can survive.”
“Without Jasper we’d be 0-8 and you know it.”
/> Dad shakes his head. “This fucking club does not revolve around Jasper Stone.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m telling you now.”
I’m so mad and so hurt I want to cry and scream at the same time. Dad just doesn’t seem to get it. No wonder Moxlin Tigers have been losing for the last three years. The problem isn’t the players, it’s the fucking management. The problem is Harrison Locke.
“Jasper and I are together, you know that.”
“Look, Penny. Jasper doesn’t belong here, he never did. You knew this was only ever going to be temporary, and at the best, until the end of the season. Jasper was always going home. Whatever you think you feel for him, forget about it and move it.”
I can’t believe I’m hearing this from my own father. Forget about it and move it. Way to be sensitive, Dad.
“That’s your advice?”
“How serious can you two be anyway? I mean, come on. Three years with that pitiful excuse of a human being Christopher Cole and now immediately off the rebound into the arms of the first man that shows interest in you. I’m doing you a favor.”
“You’re making a huge mistake.”
“Well thankfully I’m the one that gets to make it.”
“Refuse the money and uphold the terms of the contract.”
That makes Dad laugh. It almost makes him stand up out of his chair and square up to me like he would do if I were one of his players back-chatting him.
“Go home, Penny.”
“Please, Dad, don’t send him back.”
I am crying now and I can’t help it. This has got to be the first time in at least fifteen years I’ve cried in front of my dad. The look he gives me makes it clear he’s not exactly comfortable with it either. Always a man of little affection beyond the manly hug, Dad looks like he’d rather escape completely than face his crying daughter.
“It’s done, Penny. The flights are booked, the contract has been reneged.”
“Please.”
“There is nothing else I can do. As of Monday night Jasper is no longer covered by a work visa here.”
“I’ll go with him.”
Now Dad gets up out of his chair and comes over, but I don’t let him get close to me.