by Abbey Foxx
“Jasper.”
Her voice is barely a whisper.
“This is what you have to do to make sure I stay?”
“Shut up and get over here before Mom and Dad get back.”
Penny
I’m sore all over, but I’m alive. At least I think I am. This could always be a dream, of course, and if I hadn’t have woken with Dad’s ashen face hovering above me, Mom’s tears staining my arm, I might have even believed that possible. Jasper hovers in the doorway momentarily, before he deems it safe enough to venture inside. Even sexier than I remember him.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes.”
“A phone call would have got my attention.”
“You know, I like spectacles.”
“I can see. What is that, a broken rib, a punctured lung, about two liters of lost blood?”
“It was a big truck.”
“You scared me, Penny. Please don’t do that again.”
Jasper pulls up a chair but I make him sit on the bed. Even though there’s hardly any space for him and he has to perch awkwardly, I want him near me.
“I thought I was dead.”
“You’re not the only one. I thought your Dad was going to have a heart attack.”
“I don’t know if he doesn’t deserve it.”
It hurts to talk even with the pain killers they’ve given me. With the arm that’s not bandaged up I reach out and find Jasper’s hand.
“What were you doing?”
The look he gives me is coupled with a smile. He’s relieved not angry and it makes me want to laugh with him. This situation is so ridiculous there’s nothing else left for me to do. I’ve cried enough, and even though laughing hurts all over, I can’t help but do it.
“I was worried you’d get away.”
“I already told you, I’m not going anywhere.”
“What about home? Rugby? London? You’re family?”
A sudden sharp pain cuts through my side and it throws me into a coughing fit.
“I’ll quit.”
“You don’t want to.”
“I may have no choice.”
I’m tired and I don’t want to think about it now. I want to sleep with Jasper alongside me and not even think about tomorrow.
“Talk to Dad.”
“I already tried that.”
“Talk to him again, I have a feeling he might change his mind.”
I can feel sleep dragging me under, and I wonder if the medication they’ve given me is suddenly kicking in. Jasper’s voice brings me back and I have no idea how much time has passed.
“I’ve got a joke for you.”
“It hurts when I laugh.”
“Then you’ll be absolutely fine with this one.”
I can’t help but laugh a little, even though I’ve hardly got enough energy to breath in and out.
“A doctor calls up his patient.”
I roll my eyes, but only in jest.
“Come on, it’s topical.”
“Did you look this up especially?”
“I’ve had a few hours to kill.”
“A doctor calls up his patient?”
“Says, I have some bad news and some worse news.”
I can feel my eyelids closing and I fight against it while Jasper continues.
“The bad news is that you have twenty four hours to live, he says.”
I know the joke, but I don’t let on. I don’t want to ruin his moment. Instead, I hold onto him as tightly as possible and pull him towards me so he can whisper the punchline into my ear. I’m going to be asleep in hardly anytime at all. I’m exhausted and bust up into a million pieces, but despite all that, I’m happy.
Dad did an about turn. He said he’d do everything he can to keep Jasper here. If he can’t help directly, he’ll do everything he can to support my decision to leave with him if I have to. None one of us know what’s going to happen in the future, but we’re going to do as much as we can to make sure we don’t fuck it up right now.
Jasper folds himself into me.
“That’s very bad news the patient says, what could be worse than that?”
I nod, seconds away from sleep, the punchline on the tip of my tongue.
“Well, the doctor says, I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.”
Jasper kisses my cheek, the lightest of softest of touches with the plump fullness of his lips, and I fold away from the hospital, the car crash, the contract termination, away from Moxlin Tigers and Topher and the turmoil I’ve been lifted out from by the baddest of british bad boys, and into a dream of him, the warmth of the real Jasper by my side, a Tiger tamed and now mine, definitely, to keep by my side forever.
Fifteen.
Jasper
Penny’s in an induced coma for two weeks.
Flat out, pipes poking out of her body like plumbing, none of us know when she’s going to wake up again. I’m by her side pretty much all the time, but there is nothing I can do. It’s in the hands of the medics, and I’m assured that if she’s going to come out the other side at all, I have to leave them to do their job.
It isn’t easy. I saw my father going in and out of the hospital for chemo with smiling doctors that promised the best even up to the point he was nothing but skin and bones, but this isn’t my country, and it isn’t my decision, so all I can do is sit by her side, hold her hand and hope.
That Casablanca style airport scene I have it my head with Penny stopping me as I board for London doesn’t happen. Needless to say, I don’t take the plane at all. It isn’t because Dougie gives me compassionate leave, or because Alex agrees to some kind of cross country compromise, it’s because the contract was never reneged at all. Harrison was bullshitting us both all along, just to see if I was serious about Penny. I’m not even joking.
That motherfucker put us both in a situation in which I thought I had to leave and Penny ended up in hospital because of it. The ban had been lifted, but the decision hadn’t been made. Harrison was sitting on it, trying to work out what was best for his club, his daughter and everyone else involved. Alex bought the plane tickets, but Harrison was stalling until he was absolutely sure.
I’m mad at everyone. I’m furious with Harrison for thinking he can play me, Dougie and Alex for putting pressure on him in the first place, the doctors for not waking Penny up earlier and the world itself for conspiring against us.
Harrison is mortified when he tells me, his face pallid and grey, twisted into regret. He has no excuse for his actions, beyond the fact that somewhere, in the bottom of his heart and the back of his mind, he felt like he was doing right by his daughter.
I watch her lying there, inert, like some kind of insect in chrysalis form, or some kind of art installation that was never meant to be anything else but a dramatic imitation of a life that never was.
I am constantly reminded by the doctors that she is lucky to even be alive, but it doesn’t help. Lucky is not a word that I am inclined to use to describe her, and even though I’m persuaded that she is likely to make a full recovery, I can’t help but worry that she will never wake up at all, or if she does, she’ll no longer be the woman I’ve fallen in love with.
Nothing else matters but being here for when that moment arrives. Moxlin Tigers play, but they do so without me. I refuse to join them, even though everyone who is courageous enough to try and offer me advice thinks it might be in my best interests to disconnect for a while.
I can’t think about anything else but Penny. I feel like the world has stopped, and it won’t start again until she comes back to fill it. Alex and Dougie and all of the other members of the Corsham committee are considerate but professional in their approach. They want to know when I’m likely to return, and they put pressure on Harrison to make sure the decision is made expediently. Over the time I spend with her, Penny’s family with me as much as they can, Harrison begins to change his opinion of me.
“Stay here for as long as you want. We’ll sort the rest out.”
/>
If I move, it’s to stretch my legs, get something to eat, get a breath of fresh air or answer one of several persistent calls from England that come from either journalists trying to get a scoop, or my own club pressuring me into returning. Eventually I switch the cell phone off and shut myself away from everything but the world inside room 105.
It’s in the morning when it happens. It’s when I’ve lost pretty much all hope of her returning at all, when the doctors have extended their original plan of a few days under induction, when the swelling shows no signs of retreating, and every single sign is pointing away from positive end to this, Penny murmurs, Penny flicks her index finger and Penny squeezes her eyes together and then blinks them open.
I’m alone here with her. Harrison, having spent much of the night with me, is back at work preparing for the afternoon’s game. I’m half asleep myself, dozing softly but not quite fully under, unable to fall into a proper stretch of relaxation since it first happened.
When I feel movement though, my eyes shoot open, and my heart leaps so quickly I worry I’m going to have a seizure.
Penny calmly looks over, yawns and then says, “What did you do with your uniform?”
I’m up on my feet, wrapped around her and running down the corridor to get help, all in one go. I collect as many medical staff as I can, and I’m back in the room in what must be a record couple of seconds.
Penny looks at us all crowding round her, none of us quite sure what anyone is going to say. She should not be awake at all - induced comas are induced and definitely not woken up from without medical assistance - nor should she really be smiling at us like she is.
“Why are you all looking at me like that?”
After checks to determine why something that really shouldn’t have happened has happened, and that because it has, she’s not automatically going to fall back into another coma, she’s allowed space and time with her family and me. I wait patiently to see her privately, and when I do, now no longer inert, I can’t hold back my joy.
“You’re soft for such a big guy.”
“What can I say, Penny? You had me worried.”
“You’re not the only one. Dad looks like a zombie.”
I still can’t believe she’s awake and I have to keep touching her just to make sure.
“Where have you been?”
Penny shrugs. “Nowhere good. I don’t really remember.”
“You know how long?”
“Long enough to know we’ve lost again.”
“Fuck the tiger’s, Penny.”
“Now you’re beginning to sound like Topher.”
I laugh it off. “Did your dad tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
I decide now isn’t the best time to rat her dad out for his part in her ending up here. When she’s got a bit more strength she’ll be in a better position to deal with the betrayal.
“He’s letting me stay until the rest of the season.”
Penny can’t hide her smile.
“He’s that desperate for home help?”
“Come on, it’s only a little swelling on the brain. You know you shouldn’t be awake at all.”
“So I hear. I guess I can’t sleep if I know Moxlin are losing.”
“How do you know that?”
“Intuition I guess.”
“You look terrible by the way.”
“Thanks, Honey.”
“I had to tell them I was your partner, they wouldn’t let me stay otherwise.”
Penny gathers my hand in hers. “Dad told me you wouldn’t leave.”
I shrug. “The food’s not that bad, and it isn’t all that different from my room at home.”
“Anyone tell you you’re stubborn?”
“Hey, there’s being stubborn and there’s wanting to win.”
Penny smiles and then looks away briefly. “Sorry, Jasper.”
“What for?”
“For this, for putting you through it. For ending up here.”
“How do you feel?”
“Awful.”
“That’s good.”
“How is that good?”
“It means your body works.”
Penny shakes her head. “Two weeks. I remember being in the car and my cell ringing and then nothing after that but, I don’t know, Dad for a while, you, the doctors, it’s all a bit of a jumble.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“What was the score?”
“Seriously?”
“Come on, you know I want to know.”
Penny reaches for her water with a shaky hand and I help her drink it.
“It was close, 34-7.”
“Real close.”
“Better than last year.”
“Everything’s better than last year.”
“We still have a chance.”
“Are you still we?”
“Now that you’re better I am.”
“Two weeks without food. I suppose I’ll have lost weight.”
“I made sure they put extra in your tubes.”
Penny rolls her eyes at me. “So when are you getting me out of here.”
“Soon as they’ll let me.”
“Don’t let them put me under again, I didn’t think I’d ever wake up.”
“You’re not the only one. Don’t worry, I won’t let them do it again.”
“You know what?”
“What?”
“I know it sounds weird, but I’m horny.”
“Horny?”
Penny nods.
“You missed me, huh?”
“Fuck yeah I missed you.”
“I guess we better get you out of here as soon as possible.”
“I think that’s a very good idea.”
It takes longer than I want. There are forms to fill in, tests to complete, criteria to fit and promises to make. We are given medication, a wheelchair, crutches and advise on post-hospital care, none of which we can concentrate on for long enough to listen properly to.
They don’t want to let her go, partly because they still can’t work out why she woke up in the first place unaided, but they don’t have a choice. Penny may be recovering still, but she’s no longer critical. She’s out of the woods, confident she’s seen enough of hospital beds, doctors and food in tubes for a lifetime, and desperate now to get home.
We decline the wheelchair, although Penny makes me push her around some of the hospital corridors first, just to try it out. She declines the crutches too, because as she rightly points out, a broken rib and a bust up arm don’t exactly hinder her from walking.
In the car, on the way back to her house I have to ask her.
“So?”
“So, what?”
“So, you know. You woke up, just like that.”
“You know I’m a light sleeper.”
“Come on, no bullshit now, what happened?”
“You really want to know what I think it was?”
“I really want to know what you think it was.”
“We’ve been fucking now, regularly, for like a month or more.”
“And?”
“I reckon my body missed it.”
Penny slides her hand over my thigh, not quite to my cock, but in such a way she subtly suggests that she’s thinking about it.
“Come on.”
“Seriously.”
“You know I didn’t want to say.”
Penny smiles.
“You could have, you know, I wouldn’t have minded.”
“I thought about it.”
“You’re sick, you know that?!”
“I was worried I might not get another chance.”
“I was too. I thought you’d be in England already by now.”
“Well, you know, when the Tigers need me.”
“They’re not the only ones.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m glad you’re here, Jasper, seriously.”
“I know, right? Imagine having to wake up with Top
her’s ugly mug glaring down at you.”
She appreciates the joke, even though I know it stings a bit.
“Take me home and fuck me, please.”
“You are so romantic.”
“Don’t fuck around, Jasper. I want that big dick of yours inside me and I want you to make me scream.”
“I don’t remember you being this demanding. They must have done something to your brain inside there.”
Penny gives me a side glance that makes my cock throb with desire for her. I can’t believe I nearly lost her. Two weeks in a coma, three more days to get her discharged, I seriously thought this could be the end of us.
“Don’t tell me you’ve changed.”
She doesn’t even need me to get it out to show her I haven’t. Having her hand roll over it feels incredible. It’s been just as long for her as it has for me, and she’s not the only one desperate to show how much of an affect our forced break has had.
“Careful, Penny, you wouldn’t want to cause another accident.”
“Don’t, the last thing I need is another three weeks in hospital.”
It feels good to be home with her. While she’s been in hospital I haven’t been here either, so for both of us it’s a welcome feeling.
She’s tired from the constant tests, the fact she’s still recovering and the excitement at having me here with her, so I carry her from the car, as she wraps her good arm around me as tight as she can manage and leaves her bandaged arm to hang.
“You know I’m giving you free reign.”
“That’s a huge responsibility.”
“I was hoping you’d see it that way.”
“It might not be as easy for you to come, you know, after all that brain injury.”
“Then I guess you’ll just have to try twice as hard.”
“I think you’ve got hard on the brain.”
“Then you better make sure I’ve got it elsewhere instead.”
I carry her to the bedroom and lay her out on the bed like expensive cloth.
“I’m diving right in, just so you know.”
“Mmmmhmmm.”
Her dress puts up little challenge. It’s one of the summery ones she likes to wear even though we’ve long since left the balmy temperatures behind us in favor of much less appreciable weather. I don’t even pretend when I peel it back, folding layer upon layer to reveal the see through silky fabric of her panties beyond, and the subtle perfection of her pussy behind that.