by Beaman, Sara
“Rina! I know you can hear me!”
“Hi, Zeke,” she said, without turning around.
“We have to talk,” Zeke said. He sounded breathless. Must have run across the meadow to catch up with her. “You can’t just ignore me for the rest of your life.”
I could try, Rina thought, if you’d cooperate a little more.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she said over her shoulder.
“Rina, please,” Zeke said. “We always used to be able to talk, but ever since … please stop acting like I don’t exist. If you’re not interested in me, just say so. But don’t shut me out.”
Rina whirled around so quickly Zeke stumbled backward.
“I’m not interested,” she spat, “and neither are you. So stop trying to make yourself feel better by pretending what we did was okay.”
“It was okay,” Zeke said, sounding honestly confused. “It was better than okay.”
“Oh, please,” Rina said. “We were sad and lonely and I reminded you of Maddie. So we did something stupid. We should just forget it ever happened, but for some reason you keep trying to talk about it.”
“It wasn’t stupid,” Zeke said. “And I don’t want to forget it.”
He met her gaze squarely, his cool gray eyes steady and sure. Rina felt a shock go through her. She shouldn’t have turned around. Zeke was easier to resist when she couldn’t see the sharp intelligence in his eyes, the way his dark hair fell raggedly around his ears, and the way his jeans clung to his slim hips.
Stop looking at his jeans, she told herself. That’s how you got into trouble before.
“You’re Maddie’s boyfriend,” Rina said.
“Maddie is gone,” Zeke said. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“That’s not what people will say,” Rina argued.
“You’re worried about gossip?” Zeke asked. His mouth quirked and Rina wanted to throttle him.
“Don’t laugh at me!” she said. “I’m not afraid of gossip. I just don’t want to be a bad person.”
Or a fool, her inner voice whispered.
“It isn’t bad to be happy,” Zeke said.
“Sometimes it is,” Rina told him. She sighed. “I can’t talk about this now. I’m on my way to Gretchen’s place.”
“So early?”
“Yeah. She’s mad at me.”
“If I were you, I wouldn’t be in such a hurry to get there,” Zeke said. He smiled at her, slow and warm. Without meaning to, Rina smiled back, and Zeke reached out and brushed a few strands of hair off her face. Rina’s breath caught in her throat.
Get away from him, she told herself, but she didn’t move. She felt frozen and feverish at the same time. This is a bad idea, her brain insisted. This is how it starts. First he charms you, then you take your pants off. And then you hate yourself.
But it was so good to talk with him again, so nice to feel the old, easy connection.
Maybe we can still be friends, Rina thought hopefully. We just have to keep things platonic, that’s all.
“The longer I wait the madder she’ll get,” she said, as much to herself as to Zeke.
“She’s already mad,” Zeke pointed out. “What’s a few more minutes?”
His smile widened into a grin, and Rina watched his lips curve and felt her blood heat up and her brain cloud over. She imagined those lips on hers, the rough heat of his mouth, and she swayed toward him. Zeke met her halfway, bridging the gap between them in one easy movement, calm and sure, the same way he did everything.
The same way he used to kiss Maddie.
The thought was like being dunked in icy water. It shocked Rina back to reality.
“We’re not doing this,” Rina said, ducking away before he could kiss her.
“We already did,” Zeke reminded her. He reached for her, but she stepped back.
“Well, we’re not doing it again,” Rina said. “We can’t. You know that.”
“No, I don’t,” Zeke said. “I don’t understand why you won’t give this a chance. What happened – that wasn’t just about sex. I mean, the sex was … I liked it. A lot. But I also like you a lot. And I thought you liked me, too.”
“It’s not that simple,” Rina protested.
“Yeah, actually, it is,” Zeke said.
“Maybe for you,” Rina said, “but not for me.”
“Why not?” Zeke asked.
“Because I have morals and – and decency,” Rina said.
“I was there,” Zeke said. “No, you don’t.”
“You’re disgusting,” Rina told him, “and I have to go see Gretchen now.”
She walked away before he could answer.
****
Javier and Caleb were leaning on the porch railing at Gretchen’s place, looking like they wished they were still in bed.
Rina knew Calliope had a crush on Caleb. She always got tongue-tied whenever he was around, and she wasn’t the only girl in town who felt that way. Javier had his fair share of admirers, too. It was probably the cowboy thing: broad-shouldered guys riding horses was a recipe for sex appeal. But Rina knew them both too well to think of them with anything but sisterly affection.
See? she told herself, That’s how you should think of Zeke. Like a brother.
“Hey, Rina!” Caleb called as soon as she was within shouting distance. “What’d you do? Gretchen’s pissed as hell! She won’t even let us inside to do inventory.”
“Is that why you two are hanging around so early?” Rina asked, climbing the steps to the porch.
“Hell, yeah,” Caleb said. “She told us to get our asses over here first thing in the morning.” Javier nodded his agreement. He never said much, but Caleb did enough talking for the both of them. “But when we showed up she was so mad we figured we’d stay outside til she cools down a little. That puta is scary when she gets angry.”
“You guys riding the circuit tomorrow?”
“Yeah.”
“There’s strangle runner on the back road,” Rina said.
“There’s strangle runner everywhere,” Caleb said.
“Well, it’s gotten worse lately,” Rina said. “Be sure you take along sturdy gloves, just in case.”
“Thanks for the heads up,” Caleb nodded. “We’ll be keeping an eye out for it.”
“Keep an eye out for Abigail, too,” Rina said. “I had to leave her when she ran out of gas.”
Caleb gave a low whistle. “You ditched your bike?” he asked. “Are you gonna start riding a horse like the rest of us?”
“I didn’t leave her for good,” Rina said. “I’ll hike out with a bottle of fuel tomorrow and bring her back. Assuming Gretchen doesn’t kill me first,” she added.
Caleb and Javier laughed at her joke like they were supposed to. But Rina wasn’t laughing a couple of seconds later when she pushed open the door to Gretchen’s place and came face to face with her very angry boss.
Gretchen was a heavy-set woman in her late forties with long gray hair that she wore in a messy bun. She usually treated Rina with matter-of-fact kindness, just shy of actual friendliness. But this morning there was no trace of the calm businesswoman who had offered Rina a job seven months ago. This Gretchen was flushed and furious.
“There you are!” she spat as Rina walked into the store. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” Rina said. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Don’t get smart with me,” Gretchen snapped. “You know full well why I’m upset. I hope you brought that girl with you.”
“Her name is Joy,” Rina said. “And I left her with Calliope so you and I could talk. Why is she coming to live with you?”
“She isn’t,” Gretchen said. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
“I’m the one who brought her here,” Rina said. “So I think it is my business.”
“Don’t give me that self-righteous bullshit,” Gretchen said. “It’s not your job to ask questions. Your job is to pick things up and deliver t
hem.”
“A child is not a thing.”
“Child?” Gretchen repeated. “Who said anything about a child?”
“You did,” Rina said.
Gretchen narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Joy,” Rina said. “The little girl Trey and I picked up yesterday from the Sisters of Mercy.”
“Shit,” Gretchen said. The fight abruptly went out of her, and she sat down heavily on the stool she kept behind the counter. “How old is she?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” Rina shrugged. “Four, maybe five.”
“Shit,” Gretchen said again. “Those fucking whores.”
“Hey, Gretchen,” Caleb stuck his head in the door, “Javier and I are freezing our asses off out here.”
“Come back later,” Gretchen said.
“Are you sure?” Caleb asked.
“Later,” Gretchen growled.
“It’s just that you usually get mad at us for being late, and we were on time today,” Caleb said.
“Come on,” Javier said, pulling him away. “She’s busy.”
“Yeah, but we woke up early and everything,” Rina heard Caleb complain as the door closed behind them.
“She’s just a little girl?” Gretchen asked.
“Yeah,” Rina said. “How old did you think she was?”
“Older,” Gretchen said.
Rina took a deep breath. “Look, if you’re dealing with slavers-” she began, but Gretchen cut her off.
“I don’t deal with slavers,” Gretchen said. “What do you take me for?” She sounded honestly insulted.
“Then why are you buying kids?” Rina asked.
“I’m not buying kids!” Gretchen exploded.
“If you’re not selling her into slavery what do you want with her?”
“I’m brokering a deal.”
“For a kid?”
“For a wife.”
****
“Gretchen says she’s done it before,” Rina told Calliope. They were standing in the backyard, watching the students play soccer. Calliope had given everyone extra recess so she and Rina could talk about Joy. The subject of their conversation was participating enthusiastically in the soccer game, shrieking as one of the older children scored a goal.
“Who would want a child bride?” Calliope asked. “No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.”
“Gretchen swears she doesn’t deal in children,” Rina said. “Just brides. I guess there are a bunch of guys living alone who don’t want to be.”
“Playing matchmaker?” Calliope said. “That doesn’t sound like Gretchen.”
“She charges for the service,” Rina assured her. “She offered to split her fee with the Sisters if they sent her a girl. They must have misunderstood.”
“There was no misunderstanding,” Calliope said grimly. “Devon!” she called to the children, “Let Matthew have a turn! Michaela, stop throwing rocks at the hens! I swear,” she said under her breath to Rina, “that girl is a little psychopath.”
“You think the Sisters sent Gretchen a little kid on purpose?” Rina asked.
“An older girl can work,” Calliope said. “A child is just another mouth to feed. Why do you think they let me take Devon and Lucia with me when I left?”
“Didn’t they figure the groom would notice when his bride was a baby?”
“Some men wouldn’t care,” Calliope pointed out. Rina grimaced.
“I thought the Sisters didn’t condone that kind of thing,” Rina said.
“The Sisters of Mercy don’t offer … those services,” Calliope agreed. “But they might consider this a gray area.”
“Gretchen’s ticked off,” Rina said. “She’s going to talk to the buyer.”
Twin spots of color bloomed on Calliope’s pale cheeks. “What’s there to talk about?”
“Money changed hands,” Rina pointed out.
“It had better change back,” Calliope said darkly.
“Well, that’s the other problem,” Rina said. “Gretchen hasn’t got the money, anymore. She gave part of it to the Sisters, and she used the rest to buy stock. She’s in a bind unless she can find a wife for this guy. Hey, wanna get married?”
Calliope laughed and smacked her on the arm.
“In the meantime,” Rina continued, “she’s sending me back out to the Sisters tomorrow morning. I’m supposed to convince them to give me an older girl or a refund. Gretchen doesn’t much care which. I could take the kid with me …” Rina let her voice trail off, not wanting to ask such a big favor, but hoping Calliope would take the hint.
“Don’t be silly,” Calliope said much to Rina’s relief. “Joy will stay with us until this thing gets sorted out.”
“Thank you,” Rina said. “I have to walk the first four or five miles to get Abigail, and it’ll be a lot easier without a kid.”
“It’s no trouble,” Calliope said. “Lucia loves having a little sister, and I hate the idea of sending her back to that mother who sold her.” Calliope’s voice was full of anger.
“I know,” Rina said. “But we might have to give her back.”
“We’ll see,” Calliope said, grimly.
****
Rina spent the rest of the day doing chores. First, she carried a bag of laundry and a wicker basket down to the river. The autumn air was brisk, and the river water was cold, but she worked up a good sweat dunking the laundry in the river, rubbing it with lye soap, and beating it against the rocks. She longed for a proper bath, but there wasn’t enough time to boil water. So she settled for stripping to her underclothes and scrubbing off the worst of the grime in the chilly river water with the same lye soap she’d used on the laundry.
While the laundry was soaking, she pulled the electrofishing equipment out of the rusty storage shed and brought it upstream to catch some fish. Isaac, the founder of Thorn Creek, was an engineer who was always looking for ways to make life easier. Electrofishing was one of his earliest innovations: a homemade battery that generated a weak current and stunned the fish as they swam by. It was quicker than fishing with a line, and the fish you didn’t pull out of the water recovered from the shock in a few seconds.
A lot of people were afraid of electrofishing, but Rina loved it. In just a few minutes she had two bass and three sunfish. She lined the basket with grass and put the fish inside, then returned the electrofishing equipment to the shed and tramped back downstream to wring out the laundry.
Two hours later, she lugged the bag of wet clothing and the basket of fish back to the house. She hung the laundry to dry, then cleaned the fish and wrapped them in cornhusks Calliope had saved. She hoped her jeans would be dry by evening. They were the only pair she had without holes in the knees. She should probably patch the holes on her other jeans or get a new pair. But for now, she’d have to make due with these.
The kids had gathered eggs that morning, and there were plenty of sweet potatoes in the root cellar. Rina put three eggs and half a dozen yams in a basket along with the three sunfish. She left the two bass in the kitchen, and poked her head into the classroom where Calliope was reading with a group of students.
“I did laundry, and there’s fish in the kitchen,” she told Calliope. “I’ll bring back bread and manure by dinnertime.” Calliope nodded and waved to show she’d heard, and Rina headed out.
She swung by Isaac’s place first to get fuel for Abigail. Gasoline was in short supply these days, but Isaac had created an ethanol/gas mixture that worked pretty well. It wasn’t as efficient as gas and it was hard on Abigail’s rubber seals, but it was better than nothing.
Rina gave Isaac a couple of the yams and a sunfish, to be polite. But what he really wanted was news of the world outside of Thorn Creek. She’d been reporting to him this way ever since she first began riding. It was the least she could do to repay him for helping her rebuild Abigail, and it was nice to have someone to talk to about her rides.
As far as Rina knew, she was
the only one of Gretchen’s four riders who made such reports to Issac. But who knew what sources of information he cultivated? His daughter was one of the outriders. Maybe she kept him informed, too.
Today, she had several items of interest to share. “Two of the small holdings to the north have been hit by bandits,” she began. “So far, I don’t think anyone’s been hurt, but people are nervous. The Ruiz family told me they’ve partnered with the Peace and Love commune to patrol the area. I got the impression they’d be grateful for a few outrider sweeps in that direction.”
Isaac nodded inscrutably. He might have been agreeing with her suggestion, or maybe he was just encouraging her to keep talking. It was hard to tell.
“The Sanderson boy’s leg is healing well,” Rina continued. “I suggested sending him into town to see Dr. Alonzo, but his parents said there’s no need.” She paused, remembering the strained, unhappy atmosphere at the Sanderson house, then added, “Tom and Nancy say Ethan hurt himself in the woods, but I’m not sure that’s the truth.”
Isaac said, “Tom’s got a temper.”
“Yeah,” Rina said. She waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t, so she continued, “The Lutz baby is thriving. He wouldn’t latch for a couple of days, but he’s nursing now, and putting on weight. If he survives the winter, I think he’ll be okay. Allison Lutz told me their cow is expecting a calf in a month or so. She said they’re the most fertile family in the Carolinas.”
Isaac gave a tiny snort, which was as close as he ever came to laughing.
“Strangle runner is spreading on the back roads,” Rina finished. “None of the big vines so far, but it’s probably just a matter of time.”
“How far out?” Isaac asked.
“About four miles.”
Isaac frowned and nodded. Rina knew he hated strangle runner, even more than most people did. In Rina’s opinion, the plant was a nuisance, but a manageable one. She understood that older folks associated it with the Collapse, which explained why they viewed it with such suspicion. But for Isaac, strangle runner seemed to be more than just a reminder of bad times. He reacted to every appearance of the red-speckled vine as if it were a personal affront.