“I am.” Ayla moved closer to shake my mom’s hand.
“You don’t have to leave if you don’t want.” Mom smoothed her hair back, trying to appear more composed than she was. “I was just about to get the boys a quick snack.”
“Oh, thank you. It’s just, I have play practice today. If I’m late again, my drama teacher will probably choke me.” She laughed. “Maybe next time I can stay later.”
“That would be nice,” Mom said. “You’re always welcome here.”
“I’ll see you out.” I caught Ayla’s hand in mine, right as Landon came in telling my mom all about Ayla’s bug car and how she was awesome.
When we got outside, Ayla turned to me. Her eyes bored into mine as she studied my face. “Is everything okay? Your mom seemed upset.”
I leaned back against the railing, my thumb tracing over her hand. The skin there was smooth. The wind tugged at her loose, dark curls and with it came the scent of coconut. Something about her undid me. And not in a bad way. My gaze held hers. The sincerity on her face amazed me. The worry. She was so freaking genuine. And me? I was fake. Living in some shell of my former self. Always pretending.
“My mom lost one of her jobs today,” I said.
“One of them?” Her brow furrowed.
“Yeah. She had two jobs. Since my dad doesn’t do anything to help us out, she’s been working at a couple different places to make ends meet.”
“That’s why you’re working, too, isn’t it? At Crusty’s? To help her out?” Ayla took a step closer, releasing my hand.
I shifted my eyes to my tennis shoes, which were wearing out. The mesh on the side already had a hole in it. Her arms wound around me. Startled, I just stood there as she hugged me. A lump lodged in my throat. At last, I embraced her back, letting her hold me.
What was going on with me? Why was I pouring my heart out to her? She was the enemy. Wasn’t she?
“Is there anything I can do?” she whispered.
“No.” I pulled back. “Things are just kind of complicated.”
“Luke, you’re in high school. This shouldn’t be your reality. I’m sorry. I didn’t understand before.”
“Well, I don’t exactly talk about this part of my life, you know.” I gave a gruff laugh, running a hand through my hair. “Shit. Everyone still thinks I live on Mansion Hill.”
“And you don’t correct them,” she said, watching me intently.
“No.”
She chewed her bottom lip, then said, “If you ever need to talk or something, I’m here. Just so you know.”
“Okay.”
She started to walk away, and I caught her arm. “Wait, I forgot to say thank you for today—for the rides. And for, well, listening.”
She grinned. “You’re welcome. See, aren’t I the best fake girlfriend?”
“I’m not really an expert on fake girlfriends—but you’re pretty okay.” I chuckled, watching her climb into her car. A part of me was actually sad to see her go. Which was crazy, right?
Maybe I should be more careful. This would all end after the election, and where would that leave Landon and me? We had enough disappointment in our lives. We didn’t need to add something more to it.
Chapter Eleven
Ayla
As I drove to play practice, my chest tightened. God. I couldn’t believe how bad things were for Luke. Although I was still pissed about the whole Isaac thing, I suddenly felt horrible about my blackmail scheme. Luke already had a ton of stress. Not that that excused him for how he’d been acting, not just with Isaac, but the whole scene in the park, too.
I knew today I’d gotten to see glimpses of Luke that no one else did. A part of me wanted to dig deeper, to get to know him better. Not the Luke he portrayed at school. But the one he was when he hung out with Landon or the compassionate one who stood in the kitchen trying to comfort his mom.
That Luke was someone worth knowing.
When I got to the auditorium, Chloe hurried toward me. “So, I found out after school today that they’re going to be introducing the candidates running for the student class offices during the pep assembly on Friday.”
My mouth went dry. “Are you serious?”
“Yes. I overheard Jenna Lee talking to the principal about it. I think they’re going to mention it over the morning announcements tomorrow.” Chloe looped her arm through mine as we climbed the stairs to the stage.
“Ugh. I hate public speaking,” I said. “Drama club is one thing, but standing in the middle of the gym, in front of the whole school, is freaking terrifying.”
“You’ll be fine. We can draw up some note cards ahead of time. Besides, your whole campaign is about being real and about change. That’s all you really need to mention. Think of it as an introduction for those who don’t already know how awesome you are.”
I rolled my eyes. Sometimes Chloe sounded more like some greeting card than my best friend. “Fine. But what will I wear?”
“How about that cute flower-patterned dress your mom got you this summer?”
I wrinkled my nose. “How about not. That thing makes me look like a deranged garden. People will probably think I’m going to attack them with a shovel or a hoe.”
She frowned at me. “I think it’s cute on you.”
“Nope. Think of something else,” I said.
At that moment, Dre walked over to us. “What are you guys talking about?”
“We’re discussing outfit ideas for Ayla to wear to the pep assembly on Friday. You know, for her formal introduction for her candidacy.”
“I like that black lace dress on you. The one you wore when we went to the opera over summer vacation,” he said.
“But I don’t want to look like I’m attending my own funeral,” I said.
“See what I’m dealing with here?” Chloe gave a dramatic sigh. “She has an excuse for everything I suggest.”
“Because I hate dressing up. I’d rather wear jeans and a T-shirt, or a costume,” I said.
“Wait, I’ve got it.” Chloe tugged on my arm. “What about that retro fifties-looking dress that you bought when we went yard-saleing before school started? It’s super, super adorable on you.”
Chloe had a great sense of style, but it still drove me crazy. Everything looked cute on her slim frame, but I was a bigger girl, so some things I couldn’t quite pull off. But I knew if I didn’t pick an outfit soon, she’d just follow me home and make me try on a million combinations of clothing.
“Fine. I’ll wear the retro one Friday. Are you happy?”
“Yes. Now, all you need to do is work on a short speech,” she said.
I was seriously beginning to regret agreeing to do this. Speeches. Dressing up. Public speaking. It was like a nightmare come true. I’d gladly stick to writing on the newspaper and drama club. It was one thing to be onstage, pretending to be someone else, it was a whole other thing to be me in front of the entire school.
Mrs. Parkins came in and had us start running lines. I kept my pencil in hand to jot down notes she gave as we read. Most of practice was spent working on speaking parts, but then for the last hour she switched us over to singing.
By the time play practice ended, it was nearly eight. I still had a shit ton of homework to do and I needed to get cracking on that vandalism article. I thought about interviewing the police to see if they had any leads, but I was scared they’d figure out I knew something.
When Chloe and I walked out together, stars already twinkled in the sky and the cool breeze made my skin pucker with goose bumps.
“So how are things going with Luke?” Chloe leaned against my car as I tossed my script inside.
My cheeks warmed. “Okay. I, well, don’t laugh at me, but I’m kind of starting to think there’s more to him than being a jock-hole.”
Chloe laughed. “A what?”
“A jock-hole. You know a cross between a jock and an asshole.”
“I see. So you’re saying what, exactly?” She quirked an eyebrow at me
.
“I don’t know. Just that it hasn’t been totally horrible pretending to be his girlfriend. When he’s away from school he seems nicer, different. I don’t know, more real.”
“Oh. My. God. You’re starting to like him.” Chloe grabbed my shoulders, forcing me to look at her.
“No. Absolutely not. You didn’t see the whole thing with Isaac earlier today.”
“Isaac?”
“You know, Isaac Weathers.” So I went on to explain Jack’s comments and how Brady stood there laughing while Luke did nothing.
She frowned. “That is kind of douchey. But both Brady and Luke have seemed pretty nice when they’ve sat with us for lunch the last couple of days. Maybe this is more Jack.”
I shrugged. “But it doesn’t excuse them going along with it. They should be putting him in his place. I mean, when I say or do something stupid, you let me know. Because that’s what friends do.”
“Yeah, they do.” She watched me for a minute. “And as your friend, I want you to be open-minded. But also be careful. Don’t totally discount Luke. Just because this is kind of an odd situation doesn’t mean something good can’t come of it.”
That’s what I loved about Chloe—she always tried to find the positive. Right now I needed to hear that. It’s like I needed permission to be Luke’s friend. I’d bad-mouthed him enough over the years, and maybe some of it had been unjust. However, some of it hadn’t been.
But knowing more about him and his situation softened me. Although I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. It would be smart to keep in mind what’d brought me and Luke together to begin with. He was a wanted man, a criminal, per se. And I held the condemning evidence.
“I should probably head out. Mom wanted me to have dinner with the family tonight,” Chloe said.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I waved and climbed into my car. Instead of heading for home, I found myself driving to Crusty’s. Not that I was hungry or needed pizza. Although the scent of it made me salivate, it was the boy washing tables in the windows that held me captivated. The way he flexed with each stroke. How his chest and biceps seemed to stretch the fabric of his Crusty’s T-shirt. My gaze followed the lines of his chiseled jaw to his lips, waiting for one of his rare smiles that made me all tingly. I swallowed hard. Maybe watching him so closely wasn’t a good idea.
As if sensing my scrutiny, Luke raised his eyes. When he saw my car, he disappeared from the window. A minute later, I saw him saunter outside. Without asking, he came over and got into the passenger side.
“Hey, what are you doing up here?” he asked, slipping his hat off and resting it on his knee.
My blood pounded in my ears. Honestly, I didn’t know why I’d come. “I was in the area and decided to stop in. That and I’m kind of freaking out. Chloe told me I have to speak in front of the school during the pep assembly at the end of the week.”
He grinned. “You can do this. You’re onstage all the time in drama club. Not only that, but you have no trouble telling me how it is, so why do you have such a problem with talking to other people or standing up for yourself?”
“Gah, I don’t know. Theater is one thing—it’s acting, not talking about real stuff.” I hesitated then peered up at him. “Wait a second, are you making fun of me?” I reached over and smacked his arm.
“Nope. Are you kidding me? You’d probably assassinate me in my sleep.”
My teeth grazed my lip. “Am I that scary?”
His eyes met mine, sliding down my face. “A little.”
“Great. I’m never going to pull this off, am I?”
“Yes, you will.” He turned his body so he was sitting sideways, his back against the window. “Look, for what it’s worth, people would be stupid not to vote for you. Not because of me. But because you really care about things. You really want to make a difference—you just need to let others see that’s what you’re trying to do.”
My insides wound up like a toy top. I swallowed, staring at him. “Thank you,” I said. “I don’t know why I’m freaking so bad. It’s just, I’d like to do one meaningful thing before I graduate. You know, something that’ll be remembered and worthwhile. Not just for me, but for everyone else, too. It’s like, I’ve been wanting to write these brilliant stories for the paper, things that people are going through or fighting for, and I’m constantly getting shot down. There are so many things I feel that everyone should be aware of—I mean, I want to make a difference, you know?”
He nodded. “Trust me, I understand more than you know.”
Even though we weren’t in school, Luke reached across the middle console and grabbed my hand. He linked his fingers with mine, staring at them.
His palm easily covered my whole hand. I could feel the calluses on the pads of his fingers. But there was strength and warmth. For some reason, I didn’t pull back. Having him this close reassured me, gave me strength. But also did something funny to my insides. They were twisted up, but not in a bad way.
“So what time do you have to work until?”
“Eleven.”
My eyes widened. “On a school night?”
“Yeah.”
“Luke—when do you have time to do your homework?” No wonder he looked so tired earlier.
“During my breaks. Or if we slow down, my boss will let me work on some of it. Sometimes I just stay up late.” He stroked my thumb, sending rivulets of electricity through me.
“I don’t know how you do it,” I said. “If you ever need anything—help with homework, or someone to look after Landon or something, let me know.” Okay, so I didn’t have to offer anything, but I felt bad. He was in high school. This was so much to put on his shoulders.
He slipped his hand from mine and raised it to my cheek. My breath caught in my throat as he traced my jaw. His fingers were light against my skin, like a whisper of wind.
“Thank you,” he said, dropping his hand.
For a second, I considered asking him if we should practice kissing. Not that I wanted him to kiss me. Or maybe I secretly did. Oh, God. What was he doing to me? My heart skittered into my throat. I needed to get my emotions in check and soon. This was probably just a part of his boyfriend act, nothing more. I couldn’t let myself get carried away. But then it occurred to me that we were alone. There was no one here witnessing any of this, which meant he didn’t have to do it.
I cleared my throat. “How long is your break?”
“I’ve got another fifteen minutes,” he said.
“Did you want to grab your homework or something?”
“No. It’s nice, just sitting here. Talking. Not pretending.” He fidgeted in his seat. “I know this will sound strange, but I feel like I can talk to you. Hell, you’ve probably seen more of the real me in these past couple of days than most of my friends have in my lifetime.”
My chest tightened, and a tiny burst of happiness erupted inside me. He actually talked to me about things he didn’t with other people. I wasn’t sure why that made me so happy, but it did. “I’m glad. I mean, I’d like for us to be friends or…for you to feel comfortable with me.”
He smiled. “Oh, by the way, you should know that I bought a pizza for Isaac and his family and had it delivered to their house. I included a note apologizing to him.”
My gaze met his. “Really?”
“Yes. You were right, I should’ve stood up for him. I promise, I’ll do better.”
“I’m proud of you. Honestly, that was an awesome thing to do.” My body warmed like someone had lit a fire inside me. No matter how the election turned out, I had a feeling Luke would be something I might have a hard time letting go.
“So what have you been up to tonight?” he changed the subject.
“Well, if I have to sing ‘Little Shop of Horrors’ one more time, I might go mad,” I said.
He laughed. “You should sing it for me. I’ve never heard it before.”
“No. Absolutely not.”
“Come on.” He tickled my side.
I squirmed, giggling. “Stop or I’ll pee my pants.”
“Sing or I’ll tickle you until you pee! I want to hear you.”
“Okay, okay.” I held up my arms, trying to catch my breath. “I’ll do it.”
Luke watched me, as I sat up and cleared my throat. He leaned back again.
So I sang to Luke Pressler, sitting in my car, in the dark, outside his work. How had my life become this?
Luke watched me, intently. And I couldn’t look away. The way his eyes held mine, how he seemed to see right into the depths of me. He leaned closer, ignoring the console in the middle, and for a brief second, I thought he might kiss me. It took me a second to realize, I’d quit singing, that we were just sitting here staring at each other. His fingers stroked my face, but then he stopped and backed away.
I let out a slow breath.
He fumbled to open the car door behind him as he scooted out. But before walking away, he poked his head back in. “Anyone told you that you have a really nice voice?”
A blush rushed to my face. “Not recently.”
“Well, you do. Thanks for this tonight. It gave me something else to think about for a while.”
As Luke moved to the front entrance of Crusty’s, I realized I actually liked hanging out with him.
God, I needed therapy.
Chapter Twelve
Luke
When I finally came in from work, the lights were all off. It’d been a strange night, with Ayla stopping by for a visit. Not that she didn’t show up at Crusty’s all the time, but normally when she came in and ordered something, I was working in the back, not at the register like I had been recently when Charlie decided to change my job title.
I hadn’t been lying when I’d told her it was a nice distraction. Just sitting there and talking. Listening to her sing had given me chills. There was just something about her. She was this positive force that just kind of was. You couldn’t help but smile when you were around her.
With a yawn, I flung open my bedroom door, then jumped when I flipped on the light to find my mom sitting on my bed waiting for me. “Jeez, what are you doing in here?”
Incriminating Dating Page 8