“Hey, if I can’t win it with Star Wars, then there’s really no hope,” I said, grabbing a slice of pizza. The cheese stretched in a long string as I took a bite.
“Wait a second, I thought that’s what I was for. Your key to winning this?” He feigned being stabbed in the chest.
I laughed, watching him. “Maybe things started that way, but you’re not just a pawn for my election. I…” I what? Liked him? Loved him? Oh, God. What did I even feel?
A lot. That’s what I felt. Warm. Fuzzy. Cared for. Friendship. And other things. Things I was too scared to mention for fear of jinxing myself.
But the signs were all there. I hated being away from him. Not that I was one of those obsessed girls who needed to be with her boyfriend 24-7. But I realized I missed him when he wasn’t around. Before I’d always been in a hurry to get home and talk to Chloe; now I couldn’t wait to hear from Luke. I looked forward to seeing him, being close to him—to texting him from my government class when I was supposed to be doing homework.
Luke set his pizza down and moved closer, taking my slice from me as well. “You what, Ayla?” he said softly.
We hadn’t been hanging out that long—would it freak him out if I said it aloud?
Instead of answering, I just stared at him. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled. The way he ran a hand through his hair when he got nervous. His yummy scent. His laugh. How he took care of Landon.
Ignoring the box of pizza between us, he touched my face. “Ayla?” he said again.
My insides twisted as emotion swirled through me. My hand looped around the back of his neck as he leaned over to kiss me. The faint taste of pizza sauce still lingered, but I didn’t care. Luke Pressler was my real boyfriend.
And I was in love with him. But I didn’t dare tell him, not yet.
“You know, I told my mom we were only coming up here to eat pizza,” I said against his mouth.
“Well, you didn’t lie. We were eating pizza. Now we’re kissing.” But Luke moved back to his spot and resumed chomping down on his food.
I wasn’t sure if I’d ever get used to this…being Luke’s girlfriend.
…
The next day, Chloe and Luke helped me set my table up in the hallway outside the cafeteria for my meet and greet. I arranged the key chains and pins into separate piles then stacked up my rack cards, which explained who I was and what I would do for the senior class if they voted for me.
“Ah, you guys, I’m so freaking nervous,” I said as Chloe attempted to fix the faux flower she’d put in my hair.
“You’ll be great.” Luke brought my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “Plus, you only have to be out here without us during first lunch. Take a deep breath and just be yourself.”
“Easy for you to say,” I muttered.
He chuckled. “I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Good luck,” Chloe called, following him.
I set my phone on the table and stood next to my display, too wound up to sit down.
Jenna smirked at me from her table, where she had all her stuff set out—phone case covers, little bags of candy, pins, and flash drives. “You know, you could just drop out of the race now and save yourself the embarrassment. Because if you don’t, this is going to end badly.”
“Not a chance. I’m not letting you win this.”
“Well, don’t say I didn’t give you an opportunity to bow out gracefully.” Her too-sweet smile made me want to vomit.
As students came into the cafeteria, I handed out some of my pins. Two theater friends pulled me away from my table and out of Jenna Lee’s earshot.
“So, what do you think is the likelihood of you being able to get us more funding for theater if you’re elected?” Dre asked.
“I think pretty good. If the board actually looks at where most of their money for the sports and clubs has been going, it’ll be obvious that we’ve been given the shaft.”
He winked. “I know you’ll work hard for drama club—I was just giving you a hard time. Which reminds me, we really need to meet up this week to try to get some extra practice time in for our duets.”
“Yeah, definitely. Mrs. Parkins is keeping a running tab of how many more rehearsals we have before opening night. I think she’s trying to freak us all out,” I said.
“No doubt. Well, hey, I better go get my lunch or I won’t have time to eat. We can discuss extra practices tonight.” Dre hurried away.
At least some people were stopping to chat with me. Although I hoped more than just my friends came by.
As I moved back to my table, I went still.
Jenna held up my phone. “You know, you have some really interesting texts on here. Especially the one between you and Luke and how you were done blackmailing him. So, where exactly are your videos on here?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Give me my phone.” Shit, I thought I’d deleted it. My mind raced as I played back the day in the library. Crap. No. Brady had interrupted me before I could.
“Aw, well, look what I found. This one in particular has kind of caught my attention.” She held it up, letting me see Luke, Brady, and Jack’s faces fill the screen.
“Give that back. It’s not yours…” Panic raced through my veins. Shit. What was I gonna do now? What if she sent it to someone?
“You really should learn to lock your phone, Ayla.” She continued to smile, only it twisted into a vicious sneer. “At least I know now how you managed to land Luke Pressler. You had dirt on him, because there’s no other way he’d ever date someone like you. Trust me. I’m more his type.”
“Jenna, I’m begging you. Please give me my phone.”
She shook her finger at me. “I don’t think so. Not until you and I have a little chat.”
I was in trouble, and if I didn’t play along with Jenna’s game, it could cost Luke everything. Sure, his dad was back in the picture, but if he got convicted, I doubted U of M would want him on their team still. Scholarship or no scholarship—he’d be a criminal. His basketball career would be over before it even started. Damn. I should’ve made sure I deleted the video.
Queasiness set in, my eyes welling. “What do you want?”
“Now there’s the right question. How about I forget all about this video. Of course it’ll cost you.”
“Name the price,” I said.
“I want you to drop out of the race.” She put her free hand on her hip.
Fuck. If I did, the paper was surely done for. There’d be no additional funds. And yeah, we’d get our last hurrah, but then what? And what about Stacy and Holly—what would this do to them? To all of us? It was either Luke or us.
Hadn’t he been through enough? Could I watch him fall farther? No. I couldn’t. Which meant I’d be the one to sacrifice something. “O-okay, consider it done. I’ll go straight to the office and take my name off the ballot. You can even follow me.”
“And there’s one more thing,” she said, eyes darkening. “You have to break up with Luke. It’s the only way to ensure you’re not going to just tell him about all this and have my campaign ruined.”
A lump lodged in my throat. “You want me to break up with Luke?” No. Damn it. This wasn’t happening. His whole life everyone had let him down. I didn’t want to be another nail in his coffin. Another person to ruin him.
“Yes. Break up with him and drop out of the race. Then all this goes away.”
I squeezed my lids shut. I had to keep him out of trouble. The city was already pushing to find the vandals. Hell, the cops had been here over a week ago investigating leads. If I didn’t protect him, then that’d be one more thing gone. One more disappointment. He was banking on going to U of M. Following his dream.
Could I take it from him?
No.
“If I do this, how do I know you won’t turn around and share the video or tell someone?”
“You have my word. Besides, if I don’t keep up my end, then you can jump back into the ra
ce for school president.”
This was fucking stupid. Not only would this hurt me, but Luke, too. He’d spent his lifetime being hurt and betrayed by the people closest to him, and here I was about to do the same thing. Although by doing this I was securing his future. The future he wanted and had worked so hard for.
Only…one without me in it.
Anger ripped through me. I wanted to punch Jenna Lee in her perfect face. To wipe that asshole smirk from her mouth. She had me right where she wanted me.
But I had to do this. For Luke. Maybe someday he’d forgive me. Maybe someday I’d forgive myself. God, if Stacy and Holly knew how close we were to keeping the paper going and how I’d let it slip through my fingers, they’d probably hate me, too. But there was no other resolution.
“Fine. You’ve got a deal.” My voice cracked as I tried to keep it together.
“You’ve got until the end of the school day to do it. If I don’t hear the rumors flying by the last bell, I’m forwarding this. Understand?” Jenna handed me my phone.
Did that mean she’d sent it to her phone? It didn’t matter now—she already had the information she needed to throw Luke under the bus if I didn’t do what she said.
“Okay.” I slipped the phone into my pocket.
Just last night Luke and I had had the perfect night, and today I’d have to break his heart.
When the bell rang for first lunch to end, I saw Luke heading toward me. His smile turned my legs to mush. And in a minute, my words would take his smile away.
“Hey, how’s everything going?” he asked, reaching for my hand.
Jenna kept a close eye on us. But I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of witnessing the hurt and humiliation. “C-can we talk? Someplace private?”
“Sure. But what about your table?” He pointed at the short line of people moving toward it.
I noticed Chloe heading our way. “Can you watch my table for a couple of minutes?”
“Sure.” She moved to hand out my promo stuff.
As we walked away from the prying eyes and listening ears, my stomach knotted. I hated this. A part of me considered not going through with it and just telling him. But if I did, he might not get to use his basketball scholarship. I didn’t want to be the thing that ruined his future. So instead, I’d be the high school sweetheart who tore out his heart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Luke
Ayla was quiet as she tugged me to a stop in an alcove. She was acting strange. She stared at the floor, refusing to meet my eye.
“What’s going on? Is everything okay?”
“No.” Her voice quivered. “Everything’s not okay. Luke, I—we—this thing we have, it’s over. I can’t do it anymore,” she said.
My body stiffened. My pulse drowned out every other sound. “If this is about the video—”
“That’s the problem, this whole thing has been about the video.”
“Wait, no, it hasn’t. It might’ve started that way, like we said last night. But this thing between us…it’s real, Ayla. I know this sounds cheesy as hell, but I’ve never felt something so complete. So pure. So perfect in my entire life. I never knew this kind of thing existed.”
“Please, don’t make this any harder.” She finally raised her face to mine. Tears welled in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I never should’ve blackmailed you. But I can’t be with you.”
“Hold on. What the fuck is going on? Ayla, you can’t tell me that last night you hinted at having feelings for me, and now today, you just, what, suddenly don’t?”
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m sorry. I thought I could make this work, but I can’t. But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me. In fact, I’m dropping out of the race altogether. I don’t have time for any of it.” She stared at me now, no emotion on her face. “I never cared about you—I was only doing all this for the election, and now that I’m not running anymore, I…I don’t need you.”
My chest hurt, like someone had ripped open my body and peeled the skin off. I stood, watching her, waiting for her to say she was kidding. To say she took it all back and wanted to see what my reaction would be. But she didn’t.
“I’m really sorry, Luke,” she whispered.
“Sorry? That’s it? C’mon. Talk to me. We made a deal.” Desperation took over. I’d lost too many people in my life. Or maybe that was the point. Maybe I wasn’t supposed to truly be happy.
“The deal’s off. It’s over. I’m deleting the video now. So you can go back to your life and your friends, and I’ll do the same. We can pretend this never happened.” She held up her phone to show me the video and her putting it in the trash can. “There. It’s done.”
Anger raced through me. I wanted to hurt her the same way she hurt me. To make her feel like the world was falling out from under her, like it had been for me my whole life. If I was going to be miserable, then she should be, too. “You’re right…it’s done. Everyone was right about you. In fact, I don’t know what the hell I ever saw in you. You’re just an angry, hypocritical wannabe. Always spouting off about making changes but never having the balls to do anything about it. You never fit in with me or my friends, anyway,” I said.
She didn’t answer. Instead, she spun around and raced down the hall. I stood there for long moments trying to figure out what’d just happened. I leaned against the wall and slid to the floor, propping my head up on my knees. I swallowed back my frustration. My anger. My tears.
This was why I didn’t like to get close to people. They always let me down. Hurt me.
But what had changed since last night? When we’d spent hours talking and eating pizza and cuddling. Had I done something wrong?
This fucking sucked. Like hard-core sucked. I fisted my hands and rubbed at my eyes, not wanting to break down at school. To let anyone see me as weak.
“Hey, man, what’re you doing? I thought we were going to eat with Ayla at her table today?” Brady said.
I shook my head, picking the dead skin by my fingernail. “No.”
“Luke? What’s wrong?” Brady knelt down.
“She broke up with me.”
“Ayla broke up with you? But you two seemed fine this morning…”
I shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. I have no idea what I did. This came out of nowhere.”
“Look, I know what’ll cheer you up. Come over to my house tonight. We can play some pool, maybe throw back a couple of beers or something.”
“Nah. I’m good. Listen, I’m going to go sit in Mr. Brewster’s class and work on that study guide. I’ll catch you later.”
Climbing to my feet, I headed down the hallway, away from Brady and away from the memory of Ayla’s words. If I hadn’t already missed so many days this year to take care of Landon, I’d have just skipped class.
It didn’t take long for the rumors to start spreading. By fifth hour the whole school knew about me and Ayla.
Jack came over to my desk and sat on the edge of it. “Heard about you and Ayla. Don’t worry, bro, you can do a lot better than that cow.”
My lips tightened into a thin line. My gaze bore into his. “Shut the fuck up, Jack. I’m not in the mood for your shit.”
He held up his hands. “Whoa, chill, dude. Don’t take it out on me.” He smirked.
For a moment, I wondered if he had something to do with this. If he’d pressured Ayla into breaking it off.
“If I find out you had anything to do with this, we’re through as friends, you hear me?” I shoved him off my desk and opened my textbook. Not that I could concentrate on anything. All around me, the whispers continued.
Everyone wondered if I’d dumped Ayla or the other way around. Some people said that I was sick of dating a nobody, others said I’d cheated on her. And on and on they went.
By the end of the day, I welcomed going to the weight room. I needed to burn off some energy. To just lose myself in something thoughtless. Brady joined me but didn’t talk
. He spotted me as I lay on the bench and hefted the bar up and down.
I did several reps before sitting up and turning to look at him. “I have no idea what happened.”
“Chloe was just as shocked. Ayla called her last night and told her about the tree house. She said she sounded so happy. This whole thing sucks. I’m sorry.”
“If she would’ve at least told me why…I mean, did I come on too strong? Did I say something that hurt her feelings? Did someone else say something to her?” I sat up. “Not that someone can’t change their mind, but there were no signs.” She’d also said she was just using me. Ayla was in drama club. Maybe it really had been an act. Pour it on thick, lure me in, then fuck me over.
And if there were signs, would I have recognized them? I wasn’t exactly the best judge of character. It took me until senior year to realize what an asshole Jack was. This was why I didn’t put myself out there. Why I didn’t date. I should’ve known better. After all, look what’d happened with my parents. They were prime examples of what happened when you fell in love in high school.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ayla
As soon as I parked my car, I raced inside, past my mom, who stood holding a plate of cookies.
“Ayla? Honey, are you okay? What’s going on?” She followed me into the living room and toward the stairs.
“Luke and I broke up.”
“Oh, sweetie.” She reached for me, but I stepped back.
“I—I don’t really want to talk about it. I just want to be alone for a while.”
“Ayla—”
“Please, Mom.” I took the stairs two at a time. When I got to my room, I dropped my backpack on the floor and fell onto my bed, burying my head against my pillow. A sob escaped my lips. God, I couldn’t get the look on Luke’s face out of my head. The confusion in his eyes when I said I didn’t want to be with him. It hurt so badly. I missed him already, and it had only been a couple of hours. Damn it, I’d never wanted to put him through this. But if I’d tried to tell Luke what was really going on, Jenna would’ve taken him down herself.
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