by Tiffany Snow
“She’s fine,” Kade said to Blane as he neared. Kade’s arms tightened protectively around me, drawing me closer into his body. Blane stopped in his tracks, his expression shuttered.
Kade’s arm was wrapped around my waist, and I thought I should be embarrassed at how much I needed that support to stay on my feet. Events had moved too fast before; now it was as though everything was in slow motion. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from my car burning, the bright flames mesmerizing me.
That was almost me in there. I would have burned to death.
I couldn’t get enough air. My lungs were inflating, but I couldn’t breathe. My hands clutched at Kade and still – I couldn’t look away from the fire and I still couldn’t breathe.
“Breathe, princess. Just breathe.”
I heard Kade’s voice, insistent in my ear, and I tried to obey. But the fire was growing dim now and I heard Blane as if from a long ways away.
“She’s going into shock, Kade. We need to get her to the hospital.”
“Haven’t you done enough?” The icy, accusing words came from Kade.
The last thought I had was that I didn’t want them to fight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The thing about passing out – it’s really not as bad as it sounds. Rather, it’s more like your body says, “You go on ahead – I’m just going to take a moment.”
I stirred and opened my eyes, aware that I felt better. For one thing, I could breathe again, which is always a plus.
Where was I?
I was lying in a bed, but it wasn’t mine. A small lamp was lit on a nearby table, allowing me to see the comfortable, though nondescript room. Confused, I sat up, noticing as I did so that I no longer wore the hated Christmas slut outfit, but a man’s button-down shirt that swallowed me up and came nearly to my knees.
“Take it easy now.”
My gaze swung to the doorway where Kade was entering the room, holding two steaming mugs. He handed me one before sitting next to me on the edge of the bed. He’d changed out of his tuxedo, which was a real shame, and now wore his customary jeans and long-sleeved black Henley. I noticed his feet were bare.
“Where am I?” I asked, taking a sip of the sweetened coffee. Somehow, he’d known how I liked it.
“My place.” Kade’s simple reply threw me.
“Your place?” I asked, confused. “I thought you lived with Blane?”
He snorted. “Not likely. As if I could stand living with him for more than a few days.”
I processed this as I took another sip. I had another question, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer.
“Um, how did I get into this?” I asked, indicating the shirt I wore. It had to be Kade’s.
“Yeah, that little red outfit’s a goner. Sorry.”
I certainly had no qualms about that. However, that also meant Kade had been the one to strip me and put the shirt on me. My cheeks heated and I looked down, letting my hair swing forward to conceal my face from Kade. To my chagrin, he reached forward, pushing my hair back and tucking the strands behind my ear. I glanced up.
“Would it help if I said I didn’t look?”
The mischief in his eyes made me smile, though it was tremulous and quickly faded. I took another sip of the coffee. We sat in companionable silence for a few moments before Kade spoke again.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked quietly.
My eyes flew to his in surprise. “You don’t know?”
He shook his head, his gaze sober.
I pushed my fingers through my hair and swallowed hard. I wanted to answer him, wanted to tell him what a dick his brother was, but that also meant I had to again relive the shock, the humiliation, and the pain.
I set the coffee on the bedside table with a hand that trembled.
“I’m going to need something stronger.”
Kade watched in silence as I climbed out of the bed, following me as I left the bedroom and walked the short hallway to the kitchen. The kitchen was in the corner of a large open room. It had a small bar separating it from the living room area, where there was a television hung on the wall, a couch and a couple of chairs. The wall behind the sofa was all glass, the city lights sparkling in the night. I realized Kade must live in one of those expensive loft apartments downtown that overlooked the city.
Figuring I’d find what I needed in the cabinets, I started searching, starting down low and working my way to the higher ones.
“Can I help you find something?” Kade asked dryly, leaning a hip against the counter.
I stretched, trying to reach a high cabinet, frustrated that I hadn’t yet found what I was seeking. Belatedly, I noticed the shirt I wore was riding high up my bare thighs. I abruptly tugged it back down. I glanced up at Kade, his eyes lingering on my legs before they traveled upward to my face.
“Where’s your liquor?” I blurted, my cheeks burning again at the frank appreciation in his eyes.
He didn’t answer, his gaze holding mine as he stepped into my personal space. My breath caught in my chest and I had to tip my head back to look at him.
“It’s where it should be,” he said, pulling open the door of the freezer behind me.
Startled, I turned to see several bottles of Belvedere in the freezer. Of course. I’d been looking for scotch – but that was Blane’s drink, not Kade’s.
Kade grabbed one of the bottles, pulled out the stopper and set it on the counter.
“Straight?” he asked.
“Please.”
Getting a couple of shot glasses off a shelf, Kade filled each with the chilled vodka. Handing me one, he clinked his against the side before adding, “Cheers.”
I tossed back the cold liquid, almost instantly feeling the warm fire hit my belly. Sucking in a breath, I sat the glass back on the counter, tapping it to signal a refill. Kade obliged, eyeing me as I rounded the counter and climbed onto one of the two bar stools. As usual, my feet didn’t reach the ground, but I didn’t care.
I drank down the second shot and it was like balm to my shattered nerves. Kade was watching me, not speaking, and I appreciated his patience. Finally, I was able to say, “I walked in on Blane and...Kandi.” I looked up at him, hoping he’d get the point without me having to spell it out.
His jaw tightened. “Doing what?” he asked. I cringed at the harnessed fury in his voice.
I just looked at him, then tapped my glass for another round. After a moment, he refilled both glasses and we drank in silence.
Inside me, tears threatened, yet I determinedly held them back. I don’t know why I was so surprised by this outcome – I’d been telling myself it was going to happen for weeks. I guess expecting it and actually experiencing it were just two different things. One was all about my head, the other, my heart.
“You all right?” Kade asked, and I realized I’d been lost in my thoughts.
“I’m fine,” I said automatically, and for the moment, it was sort of true. Alcohol was a great numbing agent. Screw the chocolate and ice cream – I’ll take vodka to heal a broken heart.
Kade poured us both some more, emptying the bottle. It tasted really good now, going down smooth as could be. Kade got another bottle out of the freezer and slid onto the stool next to me.
“People leave, you know?” I said out of the blue. It was a fact I’d always known, but rarely stopped to dwell on. “They desert you, forget about you. People hurt you, betray you, don’t love you anymore. They get hurt. They die.” I studied my glass as I absently toyed with it. “I don’t know why I thought it might be different with....” I couldn’t finish that thought. Reaching for the bottle, I gave us refills, only spilling a little on the counter.
“Well, aren’t you the cynic,” Kade said, his mouth twisting into his telltale smirk, but his eyes were serious.
“When has anyone you’ve been close to not left?” I asked bluntly.
He eyed me for a long moment before replying, “I don’t stick around long eno
ugh to give them the chance.”
I frowned. “Why is that?”
He shrugged and threw back his vodka. “I’d rather be the one leaving than the one who’s left behind.”
I could certainly relate to that. Blane’s betrayal burned like acid in my stomach. I wondered if he’d been sleeping with Kandi and me at the same time. The idea nearly made me ill. I pushed the thought away and drank my vodka.
“Why am I here?” I asked him. It was a strange choice to bring me to his apartment. “Why not just take me home?”
“You’ve nearly gotten yourself killed several times in the last few days,” Kade said matter-of-factly. “It’s easier to keep you safe here.”
I snorted. “What do you care? Blane and I are through so no one’s making you play bodyguard anymore. You can’t stand me as it is – you should be glad to be rid of me. I’m just the white-trash gold-digger, remember?”
“I never said that.”
“Which part?” I asked derisively.
Kade’s face was inscrutable as he looked at me, his eyes the most beautiful blue. Combined with the wickedly arched brows that matched his nearly black hair curling slightly over the collar of the shirt, he could have been a fallen angel, he was so lovely.
“You need some food in you,” Kade announced. “When was the last time you ate?”
I shrugged. I didn’t remember or care. Now that I thought about it, I didn’t care about much of anything at the moment. That was nice. I sighed and reached for the bottle of Belvedere.
“Nope,” Kade said, snatching it easily from my hand. “Not until you eat.”
“But I’m not hungry,” I protested. Actually, it came out more like a whine.
Kade ignored me, sliding off his stool and rounding to his cabinets. He pulled out a box and dumped some little packages onto the counter. I picked one up.
“Moon Pie?” I’d heard of these, but never tried one. I don’t think I remembered even encountering them in a store in Indiana before. “Where did you get these?”
“I have my sources,” Kade said, ripping open one of the packages. I watched as he broke the chocolate covered circle in half, what looked like marshmallow fluff oozing out of the middle. Kade took a bite of one half, his eyes sliding shut in appreciation. It seemed incongruous, but was apparently true – Kade had a sweet tooth. His eyes opened, catching me staring at his mouth. I flushed.
“Try it,” Kade insisted. “You can’t have that much booze on an empty stomach or you’re going to be puking, and I’m not holding your hair for you.”
I grimaced. It didn’t look very good, chocolate notwithstanding, though he had a good point about the puking. Kade made an impatient noise at my hesitation.
“Here, just try.” Instead of offering me the pie, he took his finger and scooped some of the marshmallow out of the pie and held it out it to me. Surprised, I looked up at him, only to see a hint of a challenge in his gaze. He no doubt thought I wouldn’t do it.
I leaned forward and wrapped my lips around the creamy fluff, Kade’s finger sliding into my mouth. I heard Kade’s sharp intake of breath and smiled to myself. It wasn’t often I was able to best Kade at his own game.
The rough pad of Kade’s finger felt very nice on my tongue. But soon the fluff was gone and I let his finger slide from my mouth. Taking a half of a moon pie, I took a bite, waiting to see what Kade would say. He didn’t disappoint.
“If I’d known you’d do that to anything covered in marshmallow, I would have put it in a different location.”
I chuckled, the vodka helping me to appreciate his sense of humor more than usual.
I finished the moon pie, licking the melted chocolate from my fingers. Kade watched me in such a way that I thought it might be a good idea to renew my interest in going home.
“Are you going to take me home now?” I asked.
“Wasn't planning on it.”
His curt answer irritated me. It wasn't like I could just stay here with him. “I need to go home,” I insisted.
“And then what?” Kade retorted. “In case you haven't noticed, you have no car. No car means no transportation.”
I stared blankly at him, realizing he was right. My car was a smoldering pile of ruins. The thought of having to buy another one made me sick to my stomach. The meager amount in my savings would be entirely depleted. And what was I going to do until then? I had no boyfriend to loan me a car and didn't want to be a burden on my few friends by having them cart me around.
My aloneness hit me with the force of a sucker punch. I'd gotten accustomed not only to Blane's company, but his solid presence in my life. Now it was gone and I was once again on my own. The tears I'd been holding back welled in my eyes, spilling over and down my cheeks.
Kade cursed, hurriedly rounding the counter to me. He took me in his arms and I didn't resist; the temptation to lean on him was too great. He held me as I wept, one hand wrapped around my back, the other running soothingly through my hair, over and over. With my head tucked under his chin, I could hear the slight rumbling in his chest as he spoke to me.
“Shh. I'm sorry, princess. Don't cry. Please.”
My chest hurt with a physical pain, my heart breaking inside. I didn't want to think about why Blane would cheat on me, why he would choose to hurt and betray me in this fashion. Now I had nothing and no one. I sobbed harder.
“Please, Kathleen,” Kade pleaded. “Please don't cry.”
With an effort, I stopped. My eyes were swollen and my head was pounding. I tried to take deep breaths, but my breath kept hitching in my chest.
“There, that's better,” Kade said softly. His hands cradled my face, his thumbs brushing away my tears. “I'm sorry Blane's such a bastard. And I'm not any better. But you're not alone, okay?”
I forced a weak smile. “But I am,” I whispered sadly.
“You have me.”
The fierceness of his declaration surprised me and I stared at him. His face was inches from mine as he gazed in my eyes before gently pressing his lips to my forehead.
Leaning back to look at me, he smiled a real smile, not his usual mocking smirk. It wiped the cynicism from his features and was worth the effort to smile back. He placed a comforting kiss on each cheek while I sniffled. His hands cupped my jaw, his long fingers reaching back into the hair at the nape of my neck. Kade's hands were large and strong and I had the passing thought that he could snap my neck in an instant if he wanted to.
His lips on mine took me by surprise before I realized this was a kiss of comfort, not sexual, but that didn't stop me from sucking in my breath or my pulse leaping under his fingers.
When he drew back to look at me, his eyes held a question. I couldn't help my gaze drifting down to his mouth. The tension between us grew thick as we stood there, my tears forgotten. I could smell the scent of cologne on his skin, the cotton of his shirt soft under my fingers, the warmth of his skin seeping through the thin fabric.
I felt as though we were hanging on a precipice – only a millimeter from falling over the edge – and I couldn't say whether I wanted that to happen or not. He was so beautiful, and for once his eyes held no mockery, no derision as he gazed at me. With a brilliant clarity, I remembered being in the motel in Chicago with Kade and how he had touched me, laid his head on my lap, placed a kiss on my knee. It seemed Kade trusted no one, was close to no one, and I was humbled that he'd let me in even this much.
Unbidden, my hand reached to push back a lock of his silky dark hair that had fallen over his brow. As my fingers slipped through the strands, Kade groaned softly, a sound somewhere between pleasure and pain, and then the choice was no longer mine to make.
His mouth met mine with an intensity that left me reeling. Kade's hands cradled my head as he kissed me, his lips tender yet demanding a response.
“Kiss me back, princess,” he murmured against my mouth.
I couldn’t to deny him, this man who put his own soul at risk to save others from a terrible fate. He wanted m
e and I needed him.
Kade's kiss was different than the one and only other time we'd kissed. That had been purely sexual. This time, it was as though he were worshipping me with his lips and tongue. The room seemed to spin and I held on tightly to him, the only thing sure and grounded and real. His tongue slid against mine, a whisper of heat and satin, not claiming so much as exploring and entrancing me.
When he finally raised his head, the look in his eyes was one I couldn't decipher. My breath was coming in pants and I wanted him to kiss me and never let go.
“Why'd you stop?” I whispered.
“You're drunk,” he answered roughly, his fingers softly threading through my hair. I closed my eyes, leaning into his hand. “And I have no interest in being your rebound guy.”
I heard him speaking, but his words didn't really penetrate, too enraptured was I by his touch, gentle and sweet. I swayed on my feet. He steadied me, his arms sliding around my waist.
“Come on,” he said. “You need to get some rest.”
“No,” I protested, trying ineffectually to pull away. “I don't want to sleep.” I was terrified that if I slept, I would dream. Would I escape the exploding car in my nightmares?
Kade studied me and I felt as though he could see right through to my innermost thoughts, his blue eyes penetrating my few remaining defenses.
“All right,” he said, turning and leading me by the hand into his living room.
The furniture and walls were all in a palette of ivories, beiges and coffee; the floor a beautiful hard wood that was chilly on my bare feet. It was masculine without being overbearing, classy and yet comfortable. I looked around, then sank onto a sofa that faced a wall where a flat-screen television hung. I tucked my legs Indian-style, tugging Kade's shirt down over my exposed thighs. It was a little cold.
“Where’s your Christmas tree?” I asked as Kade sat down next to me on the couch.
He just looked at me.
“What?” I asked. “Everyone should have a Christmas tree, even if it’s only a little one.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” he said dryly, pulling my unresisting body into his arms and laying us side by side on the couch, back to front, my bottom tucked up against his hips.