by M. E. Gordon
I stood shell shocked, mud dripping off my face and clothes. Sensing Spencer take a step in my direction, I froze, praying that he’d just walk away.
“Elizabeth--Elizabeth Monroe is that you?”
I should run, shouldn’t I? My legs betrayed me as I turned around. I guess I should be polite and thank him for helping me up.
“Hey,” I said, making sure I didn’t make eye contact with him.
“It is you. I thought it was. Are you all right? I watched the whole thing, I’m pretty sure you flipped, like, three times. Do you want me to call someone?”
Perfect, he watched the whole thing. With a deep breath, I placed my bloodied hands on my hips. “I’m fine, thank you,” I snapped at him, finally making eye contact. I saw the sting my tone had on him, and I didn’t feel bad about it at all. What is he doing, looking at me all poor, pitiful Spencer? I’m the one that got left behind and I’m the one that just somersaulted through the air.
His whole demeanor quickly turned business like. “I’m glad I ran into you. I’ve had a lot on my mind and I need to talk to you about what happened.”
“You do, do you? You really want to talk to me or are you just going to play me for a fool? Because I’m not falling for it again.”
Lowering his head, he moved it slowly from side to side. “I deserve that. Although I believe you need to hear me out.” He stood a little straighter, looking as if he wanted to reach out for my hand.
“You’re kidding me, right? I don’t think so, Spencer. You’re a little late, buddy.”
I turned quickly on my heel to walk away from the messed up situation. I was stopped before I could even take two steps. A strong hand wrapped tightly around my arm and I was whipped back around to him. “You need to wait a minute,” he said, pulling me closer. His raw scent hit me like a ton of bricks. “I had a lapse in judgment that night,” he continued. “People don’t threaten me, period. When I want something, I do my damnedest to get it.”
He was demanding and possessive. His body was tense. The testosterone was through the roof. My body was clearly in a war with my head. My knees felt rubbery as I stood before him. But my head was telling me to get the hell away, that this wasn’t healthy. Now my heart--my heart was twisted. Sickly twisted. Thankfully, my head had taken over. I searched his eyes and realized this was insane.
I glanced down at his tight hold on my arm and jerked from his grip. “Is this the real Spencer?” I asked, rubbing the arm he had held. “No wonder you’re never seen with women, you probably beat them!” I slightly regretted it the second it left my lips.
Steam seemed to escape from his ears, as his temper got the better of him. “Don’t you ever say that to me. I told you I was falling for you, I would never hurt you,” he roared in his defense.
I wanted to believe him but...“You’re joking, right? You said that and then walked away! You don’t think that hurt me? If you do like me, you sure have a sick way of showing it. Goodbye, Spencer.”
Before he had the chance to reciprocate, I turned and ran toward the exit of the park. My five-mile run had turned into a two-mile blood bath.
Later, showered and mud free, I rushed over to make it to class and sat through the two-hour lecture slumped over on the desk in the back row, rerunning this morning over and over in my head. I can’t get over how he acted or how he looked. I’m only human and it was so hard not to look at his body. What am I thinking? He’s a jerk. A rude, aggressive, sexy-as-hell jerk! This is ridiculous. He’s like a drug and I am fully addicted.
The only way that I was going to be able to kick this Spencer habit was cold turkey, plus staying far, far away from him.
***
“What are you looking at?” I asked, coming into the room to see Gia sitting on the couch with her laptop in front of her, clearly examining something very interesting. Tossing my bags on the floor, I slumped down on the couch next to her. “Geez, what are you looking at that you have to slam it shut. Looking at naughty pictures?” I asked, relaxing into the couch.
“No!” she clipped.
It was way too fast for me to believe her. “Come on, is it Charles? Has he been caught on Fame with another slut? You know Teddy and I told him to scale it back some, but I guess he just has a social media death wish.” Sighing heavily, I opened my eyes and sat up a little to look at her.
“It’s not Chuck that I was looking at,” she confessed.
Now she’s got my full attention. “So, who’s the mystery man? Teddy?” I asked, hopeful.
“No, it’s not Teddy.”
What is going on here? If it’s not one of my brothers, then I don’t have a clue who she’s talking about. She hadn’t shown interest in anyone except Charles in forever.
“Come on, Gia, out with it. Who’s the new guy who has caught your eye?”
Taking a breath, she opened her computer and turned it in my direction. Check my pulse please, because I know I’ve just died. Ripping the computer from her lap, I moved in closer and instantly felt nauseous. Staring back at me on the screen was a picture of Spencer and me on my father’s desk! This can’t be happening. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck as he kissed me. His palm flat on my back, his other hand invisible, but I knew exactly where it was. A warm tingle ran through my body as I relived that night through the image on the screen. I shoved the computer back in Gia’s lap as I ran to the bathroom. The nausea took over, and I buried my head in the toilet.
Regaining my composure, I sat back down next to Gia. “How long has that been up?” And how did I not know about this?
“It says it’s been up since this morning,” she responded.
“How long have you known?” And why did you wait until now to show me, I wanted to ask angrily.
“I just saw it before you got in. Julie told me she had seen it,” Gia said over the screen.
How the hell am I going to show my face outside of this condo? Who would do something like this? Hide in the bushes outside my family home just to get a picture? Disgusting.
I wonder if Spencer--Oh shit, Simon! He said he didn’t follow social media, but fuck, if he saw this, I was done for.
“Beth,” Gia said, bringing me back. “Just call your brothers and see if they can pull some strings and get it removed.”
She said it like it was no big deal, like my brothers were super famous and could get favors like that. They might be well off and known a little around town, but they didn’t have those kinds of connections. Besides, that would involve them having to see it first!
A cheery tune came from the heap of bags I’d dropped on the floor. I was too scared to see who it was, so Gia took the hint and got my phone out of the bag for me.
“It’s Simon,” she said, handing me the phone.
It would be. This is the universe getting back at me. I knew it would. Better to get this over with. He’ll dump me and I can hopefully move on quickly.
Sliding my finger to answer, I take one last deep breath. “Hello.” I waited for an angry voice on the other line.
“God, it feels good to hear your voice,” Simon said, his sweet voice coming through the phone.
I couldn’t say anything, my vocal cords were severed.
“Hello? Are you there?” he called.
I could hear the concern in his voice as I stayed silent. “Yeah, I’m here,” I said as normally as I could.
“What’s wrong? You sound like you’re getting ready to cry.”
Oh no, I am, I really am about to cry. “I just really miss you.” Wimp.
“Baby, it’s only been a day. We’ve been apart for longer than this before. I know now were official and everything, and it’s a little different, but is something else going on?”
He knows, he has to. He’s poking at something. I can’t do this right now. I need to think about how to say it before I tell him anything. I promised him that I wouldn’t look at Fame and I did in the first twenty-four hours.
“No, just missing you.”
; I glanced over at Gia as she rolled her eyes. I hit her shoulder and got up to go in my room. I didn’t need to have her next to me, judging my conversation. I was positive the whole world was doing that as they commented on the photo.
We made small talk for a few minutes before he said he had to go. He said he’d call me tomorrow and I was relieved that he hadn’t brought up the picture. Hanging up with him, I felt like crap. Sitting at my desk, I brought up the photo. God, I hate Salvatore for looking so goddamn sexy. He was totally engulfed in me, like a vampire going for the jugular. I stared at the picture, until it updated by itself.
Oh, this is just getting ridiculous now. The latest gossip was seriously lacking if they had nothing better to do than take pictures of Spencer and me. Now it was the scene from earlier today that popped up on the screen.
Helping his damsel in distress? We think it’s safe to say the heartbreaking Spencer Salvatore is indeed romantically involved. You can officially start hating, ladies.
***
I talked to all my teachers and explained my situation. Thankfully all of them loved me and gave me all my work to do outside of the classroom. I was not leaving this condo anytime soon.
As the week went on, more and more people were hovering around, trying to see God only knew what. It’s not like Spencer lives here, and who would want just a picture of me? Apparently, every paparazzi within a fifty-mile radius.
By the time Friday came around, my brothers had each come over once to try to coax me out. Tonight they both came. I was securely locked in my room, not wanting to face either of them.
“Beth, please come out. We just want to talk,” Teddy said through my door.
“Save it, Teddy. I know you’re disappointed. You already told me earlier this week.”
He had come by and sat on the other side of my door, ranting and raving about how I was better than this and Spencer was a dirt bag. I didn’t need to hear it all over again.
“Beth! You open this fucking door now or I’m going to knock it the fuck down!” Charles yelled from the other side, hitting it for added effect.
Clearly, Charles had a different approach. Early in the week, he tried bribing me out with food, not the best idea for a girl with body issues.
I told him to fuck off and he did.
“Cut the little woe-is-me act, Beth, I’m not playing around. You have to three to open this door or I am going to kick it in! One...two...”
I ran from my bed and opened the door, because I knew he wasn’t bluffing. I’d had plenty of doors kicked in when I was a sulking teenager. Standing in the doorway, I looked up at my handsome brothers and caught Gia standing behind them.
“Goddamn, Beth you look like shit.”
I scowled up at Charles. “Oh, thanks. You know if I wanted to get shit on, I could have just stayed in my room and kept reading all the comments on the fucking web page.”
I couldn’t help myself. Once I read one, it was simply a chain reaction. Everything from, being called a gold digger to a fat unworthy whore.
“Shut up and get out here, twerp,” Charles said, wrapping his arm around my neck, dragging me out and into the hallway to finally sit down at the kitchen table.
“I’m sorry that this is happening to you, but I’m pretty sure that it’s going to calm down now.” Teddy was confident as he talked, which made me suspicious of the whole thing.
“Really and what makes you think it’s going to ‘calm’ down?” I snapped.
“Well, we had a meeting with Spencer today and he has his people working on getting it removed. They’ve been working all week on it. We tried on our own but Fame is a very secure site and we couldn’t do it.”
Spencer was the last person I expected to help me after our little incident.
“See, Beth? It’s going to be fine. Everyone is going to go right back to forgetting you,” Gia said as I glared across the table at her. “I mean--umm--”
“I get it, Gia, relax. I’m sorry for being so snappy lately, I’ll try to keep it together better,” I said as I looked into the faces of the people who meant the most to me.
I couldn’t imagine why Spencer would fix it after our fight in the park. If the roles were reversed, I’d have been just fine leaving it up. I could be rather harsh when I wanted to.
Curiosity got the better of me. “Did Spencer say anything else?” I watched intently as my brothers exchanged glances.
“Nothing important,” Teddy said, cutting Charles off before he had a chance to speak.
“That’s pretty shifty, bro,” Chuck said.
“Drop it, Chuck, it’s irrelevant,” Teddy snapped back.
“The hell it is. She deserves to know.”
They had pushed back in their chairs, turning to face one another, looking like they were ready to go blow for blow.
“Enough!” I stood from my chair, anger raising my voice. “What should I know? Just spit it out, already. I’m not a little girl anymore you don’t have to protect me.”
They turned to me, forgetting about what ever beef was going on between them.
“Really?” Teddy said, sounding more like a parent than a brother. “You can handle everything on your own? I don’t think so, Beth. We just had to literally threaten you out of your room.”
“I was dealing with it, in my own way.” So what if I was just going to wait out the storm?
“Okay, okay. Fine go right ahead tell her everything. Clearly, she has her life in order and doesn’t need us,” Teddy said, getting up from the table.
Great guilt trip, just what I need right now. “I didn’t mean it like that, Teddy, I do need you guys, but you don’t have to keep me sheltered like I’m that scared kid whose mommy and daddy never came home. I grew up. I’m tough. I’ve been through a lot and I just need you to support me rather than keeping things from me.”
I turned back to Charles, hoping he would continue with whatever he was going to say earlier. “So this is what went down...” Charles began.
I sat back down, ready for whatever he was going to tell me.
“So after Teddy yelled at him for fifteen minutes for defiling you,” he said, arching an eyebrow in Teddy’s direction. “He stood up from the meeting and declared his love for you. He told Teddy that he could do whatever he wanted, but he was going to win you over and he didn’t care if he had our blessing or not. Of course, your cool brother--me--told him to give it his best shot. Mr. old school over here, didn’t,” he finished, pointing at Teddy.
I followed Charles’s thumb to see Teddy shake his head in disappointment. “Beth, I’m not going to tell you what to do. I just don’t have a good feeling about all of this. I’ll keep my opinions to myself if that’s what you want, but I will, under no circumstances, let him hurt you. I will not hesitate to do what I think is necessary if he, in any way, upsets you.”
Little did he know that that had already happened. And see? I dealt with that just fine. Or so I liked to tell myself. The fact that Spencer would go to my brothers and say all that had my head spinning. This just clarified to me that Spencer wasn’t playing me, that he was telling me the truth. As fucked up as it was, I guess he liked me. The embers that I felt for him had sparked again. Not that I’m going to go running into his arms. I mean, he’s still a jerk, but I don’t loathe him as much as I did ten minutes ago.
The four of us sat around the condo for the rest of the night. The boys went out and got some wine and takeout. The smell of the food was intoxicating. I had been so caught up in everything, I had stopped eating. A nice proper meal was a great way to end my week of granola bars and tea.
The wine didn’t last long, between Gia’s frustrations with Charles and...well, me. Feeling fuzzy was just what the doctor ordered, an excuse to let everything go and just dance! In typical Monroe fashion, we moved all the furniture and made a dance floor.
Five songs in, I plopped down on the couch with Teddy. Conveniently for Gia the next song was a slow one. I watched as Charles, who may have had a f
ew too many beers, grabbed Gia’s hand and pulled her closer to him. Nothing new--until it was. Charles buried his face in her neck as they swayed to the music. I shouldn’t be watching this. I turned to talk to Teddy. The look on his face was almost worse, as the two of them kept dancing. He was obviously as uncomfortable as I was.
Thankfully, it was a short song. Charles took a step back from Gia but still kept his hands on her hips as they simply stared at each other. In the background, the upbeat music started again, but still they didn’t move. Oh, fuck! I know that look. It was the same look I got when I was with Spencer--the I’ll-do-anything-to-keep-this-moment-frozen-in-time look.
I got up and broke through their eye contact by taking Charles hands off of Gia and dancing with him.
“Come on, Teddy,” I yelled over my shoulder. “You can’t bow out on us. You only danced to two songs.” Taking matters into my own hands, I pushed Gia in to Teddy’s lap. As she fell in his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck. He held her tightly so she wouldn’t fall off his lap. Well, he couldn’t say I never tried to help him.
I would have much rather seen Gia with Teddy, if I got to pick that was. Charles was great but, face it, he was not dating material, and I didn’t want my friend to get hurt or have Charles come between us because he couldn’t keep it in his pants.
***
Sunlight was not my friend the next morning. I grumbled into my pillow, pulling the covers up and over my spinning head. The sound of people talking in the family room got my attention. I stumbled out of bed and around the corner to see the door close quickly and Gia whip around to lean up against it. Okay, my curiosity is peeked.
“Who was that?” I asked, crossing my arms.
“No one,” she said, all high-pitched and walking quickly by me to get to her room.
I followed her, holding the door open, making it impossible for her to close it.