by M. E. Gordon
“Can’t you just give me one day to make this right--to make a decision?” I said, letting him go and pushing him off of me.
“You still need to make a decision? Elizabeth!” Standing from the bed, he set his fiery gaze upon me. “You are so stubborn. And fuck, I don’t trust him. He’s up to something. He’s not good for you. He’s going to hurt you. He already has. You just don’t know it yet.” he ranted.
I was totally confused by that. “What are you talking about Spencer? You don’t know him,” I said in Simon’s defense.
“I know a lot more than I want to. If you stay with him, you’re never going to be happy, you’re never going to feel with him what you feel with me. There’s no fucking way. I’m always going to be there in the back of your mind, just like you are for me,” he said, pacing the room before coming to stand powerfully before me and hitting his own chest with his fist.
“You’re one to talk, Salvatore,” I yelled up at him.
I wanted to punch his chest but I dared not touch him. I needed to stay strong, and touching him would most likely do the complete opposite. “I’ve heard you’ve got skeletons in your closet too, hell we all do. You even told me I wasn’t good for you, that being with me scared you to death. What are you scared of? That you’re going to hurt me? Too late, yet here I am, against my better judgment, arguing with you. You don’t know what Simon and I have, and it sure as hell doesn’t involve him being so damn confusing.”
He sat back on the bed, my last statement silencing him.
Defeated, he looked up at me. “Make a choice, Monroe.”
I backed away from him and the bed. “Spencer, don’t make me choose. I’m asking for one day. Give me one day,” I begged
“Why? Why should I give you one day?”
I got down on my knees in front of him, begging for him to see the absurdness in all this. “Spencer, please don’t make me do this.” I took his hands in mine.
“Why? Because you’ll choose him? Tell me I’m wrong.”
Standing I let go of his hands, took a random pair of sweat pants off a chair, and put them on. I knew that I was delaying the inevitable.
“Fucking choose, Elizabeth!” he shouted from the bed, his face turned red with anger.
“I can’t!” I yelled back.
“Why?” he asked, standing.
“Because--”Here we go. “Because if I choose you, I get hurt. You’ll get tired of me and break my heart, if the media doesn’t do it first. If I don’t choose you, I get hurt because I’m not with you. This--whatever this is between us--might work. Hell, it might be amazing, but you’re a hot head and I’m stubborn as hell. Look at us, Spencer. We’re not even together and we’re fighting about being together. We’re going to lose either way.” That was the truth. I didn’t want it to be, but it was kind of hard to ignore. “If you make me choose now, I’m going to walk, and that will be on you, not me. If you give me the time I need, then maybe we can work it out. I’m asking for one day.” I stared over at him desperately.
“One day shouldn’t matter, Elizabeth. Choose.”
I wanted to stay, I wanted to stay forever. But I needed to see Simon first. I needed to see if it was real with him or was it just convenient because Spencer was so here one moment and gone the next. I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t at least give Simon a chance.
“Fine, Spencer. I’m not going to fight you anymore. I’m tired and confused.” I grabbed my clutch and head for the door. Turning before I passed through it, I looked over at him.
He stood across the room naked, not even bothering to put his boxers on. I’d never be able to get that image out of my mind for as long as I lived. I wanted to run into his thick arms and forget about the rest of the world, but that was not the reality of it. We couldn’t stay hidden in his room forever. If he wasn’t willing to give me one day, how was I going to be able to give him all of mine?
“I get lost in you,” I said, gaining his attention. “And I might get lost without you. You made this choice on your own. I don’t know what else to tell you, Spencer. You’ll always have a piece of me, and I’ll never forget this night.”
I turned away as a hot tear rolled down my cheek. Standing in the elevator, I pulled my phone out, slumped down on the floor, and made a call. “Gia--can you come get me?”
Chapter 23
I felt naked, standing in the upscale lobby of Spencer’s place. No bra, no panties, I was wearing a men’s dress shirt with no buttons and baggy sweat pants. If this wasn’t the walk of shame, I didn’t know what was.
Finally, Gia walked across the lobby, a large bag hung on her arm. I grabbed it and ran in the bathroom. I had given Gia strict instructions--come save me and make sure my brothers were nowhere in sight. The walk of shame was hard enough. I didn’t need Teddy’s disapproving looks or Charles’s laughter.
Feeling more like myself in a fresh pair of jeans and T-shirt, I walked out of the bathroom toward Gia. “I need to get out of here. Let’s go,” I said, grabbing her arm, and headed for the door.
We sat in a café a few blocks away from my brother’s place. I told Gia everything, no detail was spared. She got the good, the bad, and the sexy.
“I can’t believe he called you at that exact moment,” she said, sipping her coffee.
“It’s weird, right?”
“Yeah it is. But how could he know? There is no way for him to know that if he’s half way around the world. Are you going to tell Simon?”
I looked across the table at her trying to gage her thoughts. “I think I should. I can’t keep going on like this. Maybe I need to just end it or tell him I need some time to figure things out.” I stared out the window, my thoughts drifting back to my argument with Spencer. How can we go from perfect to catastrophic in less than five minutes? “Damn, that man is so frustrating. Hot then cold. I can’t keep track of all his mood swings. It’s exhausting.”
Smiling across the table, Gia chuckled to herself.
“What’s so funny about that?” I asked crossing my arms.
“You’re not the most even tempered either. You can be a real stubborn ass when you want to.”
She had a point but I wasn’t going to let her know I agreed. “At least I have a little more finesse when I do it. So what happened after I was so rudely taken away last night?”
“Sure let’s go with that,” she said, taking another sip of her drink. “Chuck told me he wanted to date me, after I got done dancing with Teddy. I think he had too much to drink so I told him there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be caught dead with someone who sleeps around as much as he does. He didn’t take that too well and disappeared for the rest of the night. Thank God, Teddy was there.”
I watched as a dreamy look washed over her face. “You like him, don’t you?”
Her pale cheeks went a crimson red. “Beth, come on. Teddy would never go out with me. He thinks I’m his little sister, not dating material.”
Sneering across at her, I did a happy dance in my head. Finally, she was getting the right idea. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Teddy definitely doesn’t think of you like a sister.”
Her mouth nearly hit the table in shock. “Shut up, that’s not funny to joke about,” she said, closing her gaping mouth.
“I’m not joking,” I said through a Cheshire grin. “We need to get out of here. I need a shower and I think you need to have a talk with Teddy.”
***
“Hello?” I said, walking through the door.
“We’re in the kitchen” Charles said.
Coming around the corner, Gia and I were greeted with the sight of my brothers in only their boxers sitting on stools drinking coffee. I’m sure Gia appreciated the view.
“Well?” Charles said speaking to me.
“Well, what?” I asked back, throwing my bag over the couch.
“Was it everything you thought it was going to be, baby sis. I mean sleeping with the ‘worlds sexiest man’ is a big deal. He didn’t disappoin
t, did he?”
I wanted to slap the smug smile off his face. Lucky for him I didn’t have the energy. I walked to the sink and got a long drink of water to replenish my dehydrated body. “I’m going to pretend that I didn’t just hear that.”
“What? You can give me crap for sleeping around on women, yet you can’t take it when it’s you who is leading two men on.”
What a jerk.
“Chuck,” Gia said, gaining all our attention. “Drop it. Why are you so mean to her?”
Charles immediately stopped his attack on me. Maybe he was trying to show her he could behave. He was going to fail miserably but I wasn’t going to let that stop me from watching.
“Beth, you can’t keep seeing Spencer and Simon. It’s not healthy,” Teddy said very calmly.
I couldn’t help it. I snapped at him for, once again, trying to tell me what to do. “I know, Teddy. Simon comes home tomorrow and I’m going to tell him everything and leave the ball in his court. Spencer--ugh that man is a fucking hot head!” I said, turning to fill my water up again.
“Did he hurt you? I told you to stay away from him. Goddamn that mother fucker--” Teddy looked like he was going to punch something. His disapproval for Spencer had hit an all-time high.
“He didn’t hurt me. He wanted me choose right then and there, and I couldn’t. I needed to talk to Simon first, and Spencer wasn’t willing to wait for me to do that, so he kicked me out.”
“Well, I’m glad you left. Simon is a great guy. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise,” Teddy said, coming over to wrap his bare arm around me.
“Eww, Teddy put some clothes on before you touch me. I love you but not that much.”
I watched as my brothers looked between one another and I knew exactly what was coming my way. Standing, Charles came closer. I tried to run, but Teddy caught my arm and full on hugged me. Charles of course joined in, too.
They held tight to me and jumped up and down shouting “Elizabeth sandwich.”
Why are brothers so gross?
***
During the flight home, I noticed the change between Gia and Teddy. He held her hand as she rested her head on his shoulder. They were watching a movie and I was so happy. It seemed like they were going to give it a shot.
Charles sat across from me, sulking in his seat as he watched the two of them. “Why did you do it?” he asked.
“What are you talking about? What did I do now to ruin your life?”
He always found a way to blame everything on me. “Gia, why didn’t you tell me she liked me?”
Really he’s going to ask this right now? “Charles, she’s my best friend, the only one I’ve got. I didn’t want her to get hurt. You know how you are.”
“If I had known--whatever, it’s too late now. Looks like she’s hopped on the Teddy ban-wagon.”
“You only want her because you can’t have her, Charles. You didn’t even notice she was throwing herself at you for the past five years. I think it’s for the best. And I think deep down you know that.” I reached over and squeezed his hand reassuringly.
“I hope your right, because the way I feel right now, in this moment, I want to run over there and rip her away from him.”
“Oh, don’t be so dramatic. That’s my job,” I said, smiling across at him. “You know Danielle from your office has a thing for you. She’s a sweet girl. You should ask her out. Like really ask her out. Don’t just have sex with her.”
Sitting up in his seat he appeared to think about what I just suggested. “She does have a tight ass little body.”
“Okay, too much info there, but I guess that’s a good start,” I said, cringing.
“Thanks, baby girl.”
“No problem, bro.”
***
I hung back at the airport, waiting anxiously for Simon’s flight to arrive. I ran all possible scenarios through my head. And every single one of them ended with me--alone. I sat on the floor, checking e-mails while I waited. Damn Fame doesn’t miss a beat! There on the front page was a photo of Spencer dragging me behind him and into his office. Our fight resonated in my mind for the millionth time that day.
Fames website is going to be the death of me. They managed to get a picture of my walk of shame through Spencer’s lobby. Great, icing on this already rotten cake. The world had all the proof it needed to figure out that Spencer and I had slept together.
Why couldn’t he just have given me one day? None of this would be happening right now. Hell, I’d probably still be in his bed! After I told Simon what had happened while he was gone, he was going to leave me, and I would have been free to choose Spencer. But no, he had to let his ego take over. He had his chance. He could have run after me. He could have chased me down on the street, but he didn’t.
“Belle!”
I heard my pet name coming from behind me. Turning, I saw Simon jogging toward me. Getting up fast, I put my phone back in my bag. He looked the same, handsome, and his hair--he cut all his hair off. His warm smile was a sight for sore eyes.
Dropping his bags, he lifted me in his arms, spinning me around and kissing me. I didn’t hesitate to kiss him back. I had missed him, but I hadn’t realized how much until I was wrapped in his safe, warm arms.
“Damn, I missed you,” he said, holding either side of my face. “Come on, we have to get out of here before I rip your clothes off.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Calm down there, cowboy.” I grabbed my bag off the floor, as he led me quickly to the exit of the airport.
The ride in the elevator up to his hotel room was torturous. All I could think about was that he was so happy right now. But in five or ten minutes, he was going to hate me. Only letting go of my hand to pull his bags, he led me into his hotel room.
I stood in the door way, frozen. My stomach was doing flips and I thought I was going to throw up at any moment. I watched as he threw his suit cases in the closet. I couldn’t step over the threshold of the door. Gripping my purse, I watched as he registered my appearance.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, standing a few feet in front of me. Concern washed across his face.
Here we go...
Chapter 24
I watched Simon’s smile fade from his face as he realized something was wrong. I stood my ground, standing in the door way. I couldn’t go in. I somehow felt stronger standing outside the room. Taking a calming breath, I began. “Simon, I have to tell you something. Why don’t you sit down?”
The room was small with a chair right as you walked in at a desk.
“I’m fine standing. What’s going on?” he asked, taking a step closer to me.
Instantly, I held up my hands, making him stop dead in his tracks. If he held my hand or brought me inside, I wasn’t sure if I would have the strength to tell him what I needed to.
“Baby,” he said, confusion on his face. He went to reach for my hand.
“Simon! Stop, just stop. There’s someone else.” I spit it out in frustration to get him to stay put. I didn’t want to say it like that but, there it was.
His concerned face turned sour as bewilderment crept up. One step, then two, he backed away from me cursing to himself and hitting the table with his fist.
“Simon, I’m sorry, it just happened. I tried to stop it but--”
“Do you love him?” he asked, cutting me off.
“I--I don’t know,” I answered honestly.
I watched him pace back and forth, talking to himself. “I knew it. I knew deep down--fuck, why did I even do this for her?” He continued to mumble, but low so I couldn’t hear him.
“I swear I didn’t want it, I didn’t want any of it,” I said in my defense.
Hearing my voice made him come back and walk straight at me. “I’m not leaving you. I was gone but now I’m back and I will fight like hell to win you.”
What is going on here? I just told him I like someone else and he’s not running for the hills. He’s not kicking me out or telling me to drop dead?
> This wasn’t at all how I expected this to go. I wanted him--needed him--to be mad at me. I wanted him to yell in frustration for deceiving him, tricking him. But he just stood there, holding my hands begging me to give him a chance. No. He needed to understand that I was a horrible person.
I needed him to punish me, yell at me for Christ sake. Letting go of his hands, I dug in my purse for my phone and brought up Fame’s page. I brought up all the incriminating pictures and shoved them in his face. “This is what I’ve been doing while you were gone.” I did it hoping to spark some anger in him.
He looked at them then, as I swiped my finger from picture to picture. “Stop,” he yelled, pushing my phone away. “I don’t care what happened. What I care about is right now, and right now I’m here and I want you. We can start over, pretend this never happened.”
That wasn’t what I wanted, either. Annoyance took over as I shoved my phone back into my bag. Now I was downright furious that he wasn’t more upset that I had betrayed him.
“I slept with Spencer Salvatore!” I yelled. “Simon, I slept with him two days ago and I didn’t even think about you.”
Instantly, I knew that I had gone too far. Pulling my hands up to cover my mouth, I wished that I could take it back. Unfortunately for him, it was the truth. Maybe the truth was what he needed to hear, to realize who I really was--a severely messed up chick.
He finally stepped back and silently leaned up against the chair for support. His expression was blank, no emotion at all. He stayed there for a few minutes, staring at the floor. The silence in the room was deafening.
“Say something, Simon. Just say something,” I yelled at him, still needing him to punish me for what I had done to him, to us.
“What do you want me to say, Elizabeth?” he asked, looking up from his now-sitting position in the chair.
His elbows rested on his knees, his hands clasps together. I could finally see some anger tensing up his forearms as he spoke to me. I braced myself for what came next, what he should have said the moment I told him I was with someone else.