by Stephen Fry
The houselights fade down.
I was going to tell you about God’s …
Silence. BROOKSHAW looks in despair around what to him is now an empty form-room. He takes out CLARKE’s letter, looks at it and turns to the desk. He starts to write a letter, speaking as he does so. The audience should notice fully for the first time that the blackboard is covered with childish scrawl: ‘Puer magistrum amat. Magister puerum amat. The boy loves the master loves the boy loves the master. Dominus rupertum amat. Rupert dominum amat. Brookshaw fucks figs. Matron eats smegma. etc. etc.’
BROOKSHAW. To Ghanim Ibn Mahmud and Abu Hassan Basim, from Herbert Brookshaw M.A., Greetings! Thank you for your letter. I hope you are well. You mentioned that you were able to obtain Moroccan nationality in a hurry … (Continues writing as the lights fade) … I would be most grateful if you could send me details of how I might do the same. I have a not inconsiderable sum saved against …
Fade to BLACKOUT. The sound of a SCHOOLBOY singing the Nunc Dimittis turns into the Muezzin’s Call to Prayer.
CURTAIN
1Or bicycle-pump or photograph of the Queen Mother or whatever strikes as outré.
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Reissued in 2004 by Arrow Books
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Copyright © Stephen Fry 1992
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First published in the United Kingdom in 1992 by William Heinemann First published in paperback in the United Kingdom in 1993 by Mandarin
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ISBN 9780099457022