Raven and I went to the same club last night where I met my mysterious “first fan”—the guy who called me gorgeous and said I could bump into him anytime. I looked for him behind the bar, but it must have been his night off, because he was nowhere to be found. I have to admit I was pretty disappointed. Those green eyes of his and that dragon tattoo haunt my dreams. They’re the first things that have helped me forget Gio, so I’m clinging to them for dear life.
Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever see him again. We’re leaving the day after tomorrow. I guess it’s one of those experiences I can write about but never have again.
On a happier note, all my interviews have gone well since Jess started helping me get through them. She gave me some phenomenal tips on dodging invasive questions and keeping my composure during interviews. Jess keeps telling me I have just as much control over what is said as the interviewer, and that I shouldn’t let them bully me into answering any questions I don’t want to answer. I may not be on the best of terms with my favorite actress turned mother, but I have to admit, she saved me this week in more ways than one. I at least owe her my best behavior while we’re in London meeting her family this month.
Tomorrow we have one more photo shoot and then we’re going to the top of the Empire State Building, which is something Dad insisted is a must-see before we take off for London. It will be a nice way to unwind and leave New York on a good note. I can hardly wait.
Ttyl,
Mads
I scan the peppering of lights and feel a surge of disbelief. I’m actually here, standing at the top of the Empire State Building with Dad, Cass, Jess, Raven, and our bodyguards. The cars look like little ants wearing lights on their heads from this height. Skyscrapers pierce the night sky, blacking out the stars but leaving plenty of beauty in their wake. The buzz of the city is more alive than ever, making me feel like a small part of something extraordinary. Dad was right. This view alone is worth a trip to New York.
Someone comes up beside me as I’m soaking in the view and slips their arm around me. I flinch at first, thinking it’s one of Raven’s false displays of emotion again, but then I hear a comforting, familiar deep voice.
“You doin’ all right, baby girl?”
I smile and lean against him. “Yeah. This is awesome, Dad. You were totally right about this view.”
He exhales a contented sigh and squeezes me around the shoulders. “I remember the first time I ever came up here. Cass, Carl, and James and I were in town for our first NYC concert. It was the third concert of our first American tour. We goofed off in the tower for a little bit, and then Carl and James left me alone with Cass. We kissed right over there—”
“Ew.” I tease him as he points to our right. Dad chuckles.
“Anyway, that night was one of my best memories. It was such a sense of accomplishment to have three great concerts under our belt and many more on the way. We were on top of the world, in more ways than one.”
I survey the sight in front of me and imagine Dalton and whatever band mates we’ll find surrounding me. “Man, I can’t wait till that’s me.”
He grins down at me. “It’s nice experiencin’ all this through you again.”
“Well, you’re welcome to hang on for my roller coaster ride.”
His smile softens into the gentle glow that can only be described as “fatherly love.” “I’ll hold you to that.”
Cass comes up behind us with her DSLR camera. I know it’s her because I can hear the motor of the camera as the focus adjusts automatically. She snaps a quick picture of us from behind to capture the moment, and then she orders us to turn around so she can get us smiling. When it comes to Cass and her photography, she’s almost as bossy as Raven. I don’t mind it from her, though. She holds it in front of us selfie-style to take a picture of all three of us, and it ends up being a keeper. When she shows us the picture, I smile at the sight of our little family unit. No matter what happens over the next few months, the three of us are in this together. With their help, I know my dreams are just one school year away.
As I lob items into my suitcase, I remember packing for my first trip to L.A. and how different my life was back then. I didn’t care so much about image or appearance. It was all about my music dream and finding my mother. As much as I love the city, I miss the simplicity I enjoyed in Kentucky sometimes. I’m so busy now and have to be away from home more than I care for. I haven’t even been able to pick up a guitar this week, and I won’t be able to for another three weeks.
I welcome the break when my text alert sounds from my nightstand. I drop a fugly puce green dress into the suitcase, wishing I could just dump it in the trash and hope Raven doesn’t notice. I pick up my phone and see a text from Dalton.
Dalton: Got some drummers lined up. What’s a good day for auditions?
I immediately text him back with the day after I get home from London.
Dalton: Okay thanks. I’ll be sure to take that day off work.
Me: Sounds good :) So excited. Can’t wait to get back from hell so we can get the band started.
Dalton: Oh shit, is it that bad?
Me: It’s not all bad. I had fun at the Empire State Building tonight. I’m getting really sick of sitting through interviews, though.
Dalton: Well, you probably won’t have to do that in the UK.
Me: You never know with this family.
Dalton: Lol. Too true. I know from experience how they can spring things on you.
Something tells me Dalton and Raven go way back. I know I shouldn’t pry, but I’m curious.
Me: What kind of experience?
Dalton takes a while to respond.
Dalton: Long story. I’ll tell you more when you get back. All I can say is don’t let her crush your soul. She has a tendency to do that.
I gulp. That was a rather ominous message.
Me: I’ll try. It’s only been a week, and there have been times when I truly thought I might strangle her.
Dalton: You should have. After all, she made you lose your blue streaks. It would have been sweet revenge.
Dalton: When you break free of her clutches, you should get fire hair. That will show her ;)
Me: Lmao! Yes! I’m glad someone understands.
Dalton: Btw, just curious, why are you acting like her best friend if you hate her so much?
I gnaw on my lower lip and decide not to go into the details of my twin plot with Dalton…at least not yet.
Me: That’s a long story too.
Dalton: Okay, well hang in there. Just know you can rant to me about her anytime.
Me: Will do. You rock.
Dalton: Ditto :) Gotta go, ttyl!
Me: Ttyl!
August 7
Flying into London
I opened Word just so I could write this while it was happening. We’re flying over the ocean in Jess’s private jet. The clouds formed a cottony floor beneath us for a while, but now we’re dropping down a bit, and I can see miles and miles of shimmering, glassy water beneath us. It reminds me just how small I am compared to the rest of this gorgeous planet. Humanity seems insignificant from this height. We are on a ball of dirt that circles one star out of billions. Funny how you think you’re the biggest thing in the universe sometimes until you change perspective.
Back in Kentucky, I only dreamed about experiences like this. It still blows my mind sometimes that all this stuff is happening to me. Yeah, it’s hard—press scrutiny, getting along with Raven, watching my back all the time— but moments like this remind me I’d rather live on the outside than never live at all. I have a rich life in spite of the drawbacks, and I’m determined to enjoy it even though I’m terrified of meeting Jess’s family in a couple hours.
Yes, terrified. You should see the state of my nails. Raven is pissed at me, to say the least.
I’m about to meet an entire side of my family I never knew, and from what I’ve heard, Grandmum—Jess’s mother—is not an easy woman to please. Apparently she’s one
of those people who thinks family members are puppets she can manipulate to enhance her image…sound familiar?
According to Jess, her criticism has even brought Raven to tears in the past. If Raven Redinger can’t handle her, I don’t know what I’m going to do. What if she hates me? What if she considers me a disgrace to the family name and won’t even let me in the door? Plus, I’m not the kind of person who likes to be told how I should do things, and so far that’s all I’ve heard on repeat from Raven. A critical matriarch version of her might be too much for me.
I must have been an idiot to agree to spend a month with people I don’t even know, especially since it’s my last month of summer before school starts. I should be hanging out at Santa Monica with my guitar or earbuds. I should be diving into the deep end of our pool and feeling guilty about tracking pool water all over Kelsey’s fresh, clean floor. I miss the sand, the ocean, the sexy beach boys…
Instead of spending my last month of freedom with all of that, I’m sitting across the aisle from two people I don’t trust and walking into a house full of them. Shedding my dreaded nickname came with a price. I hope it’s not so steep even I can’t afford it.
The pilot just announced we’re landing in forty-five minutes. Is it too late to turn back?
Yes, it is. I just asked and they laughed in my face.
Maybe I can think of a way to cut this trip short. Mission Escape Plan? Mission L.A. Part Two?
Hopefully it won’t be necessary, but
I’ll store those ideas for later.
Ttyl,
Mads
Rain trickles down my window as we touch down on the runway. The assistants Jess hired take care of our trash and luggage as the five of us gather our belongings and file out of the jet. A couple of bodyguards commandeer our luggage and direct us to the sleek black limo that is waiting for us in the parking lot. The only difference between this one and the ones we had in NYC is that the driver is on the opposite side.
It’s a twenty-minute drive to the Redinger home just outside of London. By the time we pull up to the gate of the stately, castle-like mansion, darkness is falling. Floodlights allow me to witness the majesty of Jessica Redinger’s childhood home even on this dark, soggy night. Her parents must be among London’s elite to afford a place like this. It’s about the size of our home with three times the elegance.
We approach the double doors, and a maid grants us access into the grand entryway. I look up the red carpeted, marble stairs and see a thin, crinkled, much older version of myself. She has sunken blue eyes, wrinkled pink lips that are drawn into a thin line, and a pile of snow-white hair puffed and twisted into an immaculate bun.
“Mum.” Jess smiles and stands at the foot of the stairs to meet my grandmother.
My heart pounds as the older woman descends the stairs and her eyes lock with mine. Her gaze is cold and discerning as it roams from the top of my head to my exposed toenails. I’m second-guessing my decision to wear sandals already.
“Good day, everyone,” she says. We all mutter “hello” as she presses a brisk kiss to Jess’s cheek and touches down to the floor. She passes by everyone to stand in front of me. “Madison?”
“Yes,” I croak, then clear my throat. “Hello.”
“Madison, this is your grandmother.” Jess comes to stand beside us. “Raven and the other grandchildren call her Grandmum.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I respond, holding my hand out for a shake automatically. Grandmum glances down at my hand quizzically, and I pull it back, feeling a blush burn my cheeks. Guess that was the wrong move.
Grandmum’s lips pull into a stiff smile. “We kiss on the cheeks in this house, dear.” She takes hold of my shoulders and presses a firm kiss to each of my cheeks. Her ragged white eyebrows draw together as she pulls back to examine me again. “My, what happened to your jawline, child?”
I giggle nervously. “That’s a long story.”
“And you’re thin as a rail. You must not like to eat very much.”
My jaw drops in horror. “Hell yeah I do! I can eat like a horse.”
Her eyes darken with anger. “We do not swear in this household.”
Well now I really am screwed.
“You are definitely American,” Grandmum grumbles as she circles me like a vulture. I break into a cold sweat. This is even more terrifying than I imagined. I grasp at ideas for an escape plan while she’s clicking her tongue and shaking her head.
“At least you haven’t already modified your physical attributes, unlike your twin.”
I press my lips together to suppress a snicker. Raven shoots me a withering glare.
“And your posture is good. Do you participate in sports?”
“Not really, but I did a lot of horseback riding and farm work growing up,” I inform her.
“Ah, horseback riding. A beloved Redinger pastime. Your cousin Cecily will be very happy to meet another her age that enjoys it.” Grandmum comes back to stand in front of me. I catch a hint of a real smile on her face. “Welcome to London, Madison. We are very pleased to finally have you in our midst.”
“Thank you.”
“Becky will show you to your rooms,” Grandmum says with a nod to the maid who’s been standing by. “Meet Charles and me in the dining room in an hour.”
“Perfect.” Jess keeps her arm around me as we ascend the stairs behind Becky. She leans over to whisper to me once we’re out of Grandmum’s earshot. “Pay no attention to your grandmother’s harsh exterior. I promise she’s overjoyed to meet you.”
I flash Jess a smile. “Thanks.”
August 7
First Day in London
We’re here in England, and it’s every bit as awkward and strange as I thought it would be. The mansion is nice, but the people are not. Grandmum scanned me up, down, and sideways the minute we walked in like I was a horse she was considering purchasing instead of her long-lost granddaughter. She seems to view me as some kind of specimen or trophy to present to her friends instead of a family member. It’s super weird. Just being in the same room with her is already a little scary for me.
Just a little while ago, I had dinner with Granddad and Grandmum and the others and made sure to eat plenty so they don’t think I hate food. Granddad is a quiet old man who mostly keeps to himself. He probably said a total of ten words to me before retreating to his study for the rest of the night. Grandmum wasn’t too unkind at dinner, but there was an edge to everything she said. Backhanded compliments, subtle criticisms…it was almost like she feels a duty to “fix” me while I’m here.
I found out I’ll be meeting Jess’s younger sister Jen and her daughter Cecily tomorrow night at dinner. I’m hoping at least one of them will be a civil human being. If Cecily likes horseback riding, we’re almost guaranteed to get along.
Ttyl,
Mads
The only thing louder than the clinking of silver against china in this dining room is the sound of silence in the seat next to me. My long-nosed, brown-eyed cousin is not the best company I’ve ever had, to say the least. I’ve tried to get Cecily to talk to me this whole evening, but it’s no use. She’s shyer than a mouse. In fact, she almost seems scared of me. Every time I say a word to her, she startles and lets out this squeaky whinny of a giggle. I think she may have taken her love of horses a little too seriously. I’ll admit I’m a little freaked out.
Instead of awkwardly waiting for her to open up to me, I opt to talk to Jess, who’s sitting on my other side. She breaks the silence quietly, most likely trying to avoid startling Cecily.
“How did you sleep last night, Madison?”
“I slept okay. My canopy bed is a little huge, though. I feel like it’s going to swallow me alive.” Jess leans down to whisper in my ear. “Perhaps we should invest in a body pillow for you. I have the same problem when I’m here. A body pillow can really help to fill up the empty space.”
A smile stretches my face. “That’s an excellent idea.”
&
nbsp; “Would you like me to get you one?”
“Yes, please. I mean, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“Well then, it’s settled. We’re going shopping tomorrow morning, just you and me.”
My stomach immediately flips over. “I don’t know if I should…”
“There will be bodyguards around,” Jess interjects. “I’ll talk to your father. Rest assured I have no intentions of repeating my poor decisions from seventeen years ago. As long as it’s a guarded area and there’s plenty of surveillance, I think everything should be just fine, don’t you?”
I purse my lips together and nod. I believe her, but I’m not so sure Dad will.
First thing in the morning, Becky surprises me by bursting into my bedroom and announcing that I have thirty minutes to get ready and come downstairs because Grandmum invited her friends to tea so they could meet me. I groan and rise, then head to the bathroom to pull my hair into a presentable style and dress in a light sundress with a pastel floral print. My makeup goes on so fast it’s almost like I’m in a sped-up makeup video. Just in time, I walk out the door and down the stairs to where Grandmum’s party is waiting.
After some long, drawn-out introductions to the high society ladies Grandmum calls her friends, we all sit down around the parlor for tea. Our most prestigious guest is Lady Charlotte Berkeley, a close relation of the crown. I try my best to sit up straight and not be an embarrassment even though this is my first experience ever with a British-style teatime. I’m finding I’m pretty good at mimicking other people and blending in, especially when Raven is subtly demonstrating for me. What could be easier than following someone who is an exact physical copy of you? It still kind of creeps me out sometimes, but it works.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 24