When we reach our cars, Logan tells me to follow him to his apartment. I place my guitar case carefully in the Jag’s trunk, close the trunk, and come around to the driver’s seat. Following behind Logan’s sexy Corvette still gives me a burn of jealousy. He’s not even Dad’s child, yet Dad furnished him a new car, but he still won’t buy me one.
Then again, I guess I should stop grumbling and be grateful Logan isn’t my father’s son…
Twenty minutes later, we reach Logan’s apartment and park in the lot behind the building. Logan hurries over to my car after parking so he can open my door for me. I smile at the chivalrous gesture and thank him as I take his hand to step out of the car, then walk by his side into his building.
His apartment is three floors up, so Logan leads me to a shiny metal elevator close to the back door. When we step inside and he presses the three button, Logan leans against the back of the elevator with me, lets out a relaxed sigh, and looks down at me. A smile passes between us, and he flicks a finger underneath the curve of my chin. His skin lingers against mine, giving me warm thrills down my neck all the way to my fingertips. I can see in his eyes he wants to say or do something, but he doesn’t. Instead he swallows hard and looks away, giving me a fall of disappointment.
So damn close to kissing me…
The elevator dings, and as soon as the doors open, Logan leads me straight to apartment 327. When he opens the door, I notice some of the furniture is different now that Claire is gone. He’s replaced the couch and some other items with black leather furniture instead of the tan couch he used to have. I frown at the new, firm couch that won’t be nearly as comfy as the old one.
“You got rid of my couch,” I complain as I set my guitar beside the intruder couch. Eyeing it with disdain, I feel the toughened leather and secretly think it’s got a nice quality even if it’s not the couch I liked so much when I was here.
Logan’s chuckle holds a note of sadness. “Sorry, sweets. I had a few too many memories on the old one.”
I tuck my upper lip into my lower one. Suddenly the new couch has appeal. “Got it.”
Logan immediately moves to the kitchen to make our dinner. Following him, I take him in as I watch him take zucchini from the fridge, wash it, and chop it into slices. His strong arms are accented by his tight black tee, which shows off the perfect V that leads down to his distressed jeans. There’s a Celtic cross necklace on that rests perfectly between his pecs. His dark hair is a little wild today, rumpled from drumming and running his fingers through it. I wish I was the one running my fingers through his hair. My draw to him is infinitely stronger than what I felt for Gio. All I want to do is be with Logan. It’s becoming an obsession.
I shake off my borderline-insane thoughts and come up to his side. “Can I help?”
He smiles at me and shakes his head. “Nah, you go get acquainted with the new couch. I got this.”
“You sure?”
“Yes.” He leans down on my level and looks me square in the eyes. I notice for the first time the golden rim that circles his pupils. It perfectly complements his golden-tan skin. “I like spoiling you. I won’t take no for an answer.”
It would be so easy to lean forward and press a kiss to his lips right now. To curb the urge, I go for his cheek, not prepared for the warmth and the clench on my heart when my lips make contact with his stubbled skin. I pull back, out of breath, and whisper, “Thanks, Lo.”
He holds my gaze with a smile turning up his lips. “No worries.”
Hurrying over to the couch, I flee the tension between us, wondering if I made a mistake by not going for it then and there. He’s giving all the signs of being into me. Maybe he was holding me at a distance because of Claire. There’s hope. I need to be patient. He just got out of a serious relationship. I want to be his next and last.
After dinner, Logan lights up a blunt and downs a couple tumblers full of whiskey while I sip on a Cosmo he made me. I seriously cannot get enough of his drinks. We’re watching an episode of How I Met Your Mother I’ve seen several times but still love. This is quickly becoming “our show.” Logan says Claire would never watch it with him. I think that’s tragic. The bimbo had no idea what she was missing.
An hour and two blunts later, Logan is pretty high and still tipsy. That lazy grin I find both funny and adorable all at once takes over his face. He wraps his arm around me at the end of our third episode, so I snuggle into him and pull a throw blanket over us, loving the closeness and feeling like we’re a couple. For a long time, we sit in silence, soaking in each other’s warmth, not needing anything but each other’s presence. Logan leans his head on top of mine, seemingly using it as a pillow because he can’t hold his head up on his own anymore.
“I’m Ted,” Logan mutters suddenly, staring at the TV. His breathing and speech have slowed, lowering his already-low voice to a level that gets my blood pumping.
“You’re Ted, huh?” Feeling amused, I indulge his intoxicated fantasies.
“Yeah. I’m Ted, and you’re Robin.”
I grin and nod, turning my focus back to the TV. “I can kinda see the resemblance.”
Logan slumps on top of me, and my body gives underneath his weight. We fall to one side of the couch. Leaning against a pillow, I pull Logan into a side embrace, playing with his soft, thick hair as he curls up on the couch on top of me.
He lifts his head and reaches for a lock of my hair. Twirling it around his finger, he looks up into my eyes and gives me a goofy grin. “You’re, like, my best friend, and you’re so pretty and smell so good.”
I giggle. “Thanks.” I lean down to whisper in his ear, sharing a secret. “You’re my best friend too, but don’t tell Ana. She’ll murder you in your sleep.”
Logan buries his face in my neck and breathes in a deep inhale. “Damn, you really do smell good.”
Involuntarily, I lean against him, closing the gap that’s been between us ever since we met. We’ve been holding each other at a distance for so long, and now it has evaporated completely. I’ve never felt more alive and safe.
With a devastated sigh, Logan whispers under his breath, “But I’ll never have you.”
My head snaps in his direction. I’m not sure I heard him right, but I can’t let a statement like that go. “Huh?”
Swallowing, he shakes his head. Pain riddles his handsome features as he pulls away from me to sit up on the couch. “You’re too good for me.” He rests his feet on the ottoman and crosses his arms, making his muscles bulge. “You’ll be like Robin and pass me up. I’ll be like Ted, waiting on a girl who won’t want me until we’re fifty-three.”
I shift my body to face him full-on. “Why do you think I’m too good for you?”
He scoffs, still not making eye contact with me. “Because you’re fucking Madison Daley. You’ll never want to settle for some nobody from Virginia.”
“You’re from Virginia?”
Nodding, he trains his eyes on the floor, kicking at a stray piece of lint that’s embedded in the shag carpet. “I mean, a hot girl musician…that’s like, every guy’s dream. And on top of that, you’re famous…” He shrugs. “I’m Ted. I’ll always be the guy watching from the sidelines, cheering you on while you take the world by storm. I’m lucky to be here as your friend.”
Amazed, I take in his slumped, hopeless form. I thought he had called me his friend because he wanted to avoid kissing me. Now he’s telling me he feels like he’ll never have me because of my celebrity status. The weed acted as a truth serum. It told me exactly what I needed to know. Now I just need to have the guts to tell him the truth with nothing but the after-burn of one drink racing through my veins.
Nothing to it but to do it. I have to go for it. This may not be the right place or the right time, but I can’t wait anymore.
“Logan…” I cup his cheek and force him to look me in the eyes. The vulnerability there nearly sends me falling into his arms. “I don’t give a shit about fame or other guys. I’m here because I wan
t to be with you.”
His Adam’s apple pulls up and down as he swallows. Intensity enters his stunning green eyes. We fall into each other, surrendering to the draw that’s been there since day one. I don’t know how much of this is real and how much is the weed, but in this moment, I’ve lost the ability to care. All I need is one kiss, and I can wait as long as he needs me to.
Logan goes in for the kiss, capturing my lips in his full, delicious ones. Even after smoking two blunts and downing plenty of whiskey, he still tastes heavenly. I sink into him, letting him catch me in his strong arms as he presses even harder against my lips. He lets his fingers tangle in the ends of my hair as my arms go around his neck. Moaning without apology, I cherish every last second of the kiss I’ve been secretly dreaming of for the past three months. Our kiss is so different from the ones I’ve had before. The one thing I can register through my ecstasy and longing is that this feels right. I fit perfectly into his arms. I never want to be anywhere else.
I move to straddle his lap, getting the leverage I need to lean into the kiss as far as I can go. I know this might be all I get for a few months if he’s not ready for a relationship, so I want to make it count. Pressing back against my lips with equal fervor, Logan squeezes my core tightly against his. Kissing him feels sinfully good. I can’t believe I’ve lived so long without this.
Eventually, we detach from each other, breathless and overjoyed. I rest my forehead against his, letting our noses touch.
“I love kissing you,” Logan whispers, widening the smile on my lips.
“I love kissing you too, Lo.”
“I hate the thought of anyone else kissing you.”
Those words kill the high I got from lip-locking with the one guy I want. Someone else has kissed me recently. Not just anyone—his cousin. Guilt surges through me with almost as much force as the delight I just felt. Dalton’s original kiss wasn’t my fault, but I kissed him back and Logan has no idea. Now that I know how much Logan wants me, I feel terrible about it.
I pull back to look into Logan’s eyes. “I promise no one will be kissing me from this moment on except you,” I tell him. That promise will be kept no matter how much I like seeing Raven squirm.
I wake up Sunday morning with my favorite pair of arms tangled around my waist. Snuggling into his chest, I breathe in Logan’s scent: a sweet, musky smell that seems to soak into everything he owns. His breathing is even with just a hint of a snore edging it. It sounds like he’s engulfed in the best sleep of his life.
Last night, when I promised him I wouldn’t kiss anyone else, it relaxed Logan so much that he almost instantly fell asleep. I managed to wake him just enough to get him to his bed, and then he pulled me down to lie beside him. I didn’t intend to spend the whole night here, but I was pretty tired too, and his arms felt so good around me. Dad is going to be furious, but it’s worth it. Anything is worth this feeling of waking up in Logan’s arms.
About half an hour later, Logan finally stirs, grunting as he gets his bearings. His voice is gravelly and heavy with sleep. “Mads?”
I turn around in his arms to look at him. His sleepy face is even cuter than normal. “Hey, sleepyhead.”
Logan swipes a hand down his face, crinkling his skin with a deep yawn. Then he rubs his brow and studies me with confusion. After a second, the light dawns as he remembers the events of last night. A smile plays at his lips. “Hey.”
“Hey.” We grin at each other like idiots for a few moments.
“Was that kiss last night real?” He studies my lips and flicks his tongue over his dry lips to wet them. “It feels more like a dream to me.”
“One hundred percent real.” I snuggle into his side. He brings his hand up to my hair and tangles his fingers in it. I feel his heartbeat speed up underneath my chest. Laying my hand over his heart, I cherish the feeling of it. “You told me you were afraid you’d never be with me, I told you I wanted to be with you, and then we kissed. A lot.”
“Damn. Last night was so fuzzy for me. It seems kinda unfair that it was so clear to you and only a dreamlike memory to me.”
Biting my lower lip, I hold back a grin. “Do-over?”
His smile lights up his face, and he leans in to meet me. As soon as our lips touch, we’re lost to each other. We grasp each other’s bodies, desperate to feel the connection we’ve been trying to ignore for months. Logan leans back on the bed and I lie on top of him, letting my body fall full force into his. My heart tries to hammer its way out of my chest. He holds me by the waist and slips his roughened fingers up under the back of my t-shirt. Everything inside me lights on fire.
I take my time with this kiss, exploring the angles of his jaw and the tendons of his neck with my fingertips. His hands move up and down my sides. This is the first time I’ve ever felt safe when a guy is touching me. I know Logan would never hurt me or push me too far. I can surrender to him without losing myself.
Before things can get heated beyond control, Logan turns us back so we’re lying on our sides and pulls back from the kiss, panting. I run my hand down his chest and feel his thundering heartbeat again.
“God, that feels so good,” he rasps. He brings his fingers up to bury them in my hair and looks me over from forehead to chin. His eyes have turned forest green with desire. “I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the day we met.”
“Me too.” I lean in for one more kiss, savoring his lips. I don’t know how he manages to taste so good this early in the morning.
Logan flicks his tongue out to taste my lips. I slip my tongue through the opening and hook my tongue around his. The feeling of “rightness” only increases the closer I get to him.
Suddenly, my phone goes off from its place in my purse beside Logan’s bed. Logan groans in protest when I pull apart from him to answer the phone. Without even thinking it over, I say—
“Sorry, babe. It’ll just be a second.”
“‘Babe’…” He grins impishly at the endearment.
Inching closer to him, I smile and snuggle in for one more kiss. It won’t kill Dad to wait five more minutes for me to call him back, right?
November 22
Squeal!
I did it. Logan and I finally kissed, and it’s because I swallowed my pride and admitted how I felt about him. I thought I was happy with Gio, but that was nothing compared to this.
We’re not officially “in a relationship” yet because both of us still need more time. After Dad called me and chewed me out about staying overnight, he found out where I was and insisted on talking to Logan and me on speaker. Surprisingly, after yelling at us like I expected him to, he thanked Logan for keeping me safe and told him he’d better take care of my heart. These were his exact words—
“My daughter has been to hell and back over the past eight months. I already have plans for Giovanni Abate if he ever crosses my path again, and I don’t wanna have to come up with another torture plan. You break my daughter’s heart, and I will see to it that you never walk, talk, eat, or function normally again. Do I make myself clear?”
Logan was shaking when he answered, “Yes, sir.” Poor guy. I think he might have shit his pants a little.
After that, Logan and I talked and realized three weeks is an extremely short time to go from one relationship straight into another. Instead, we’re going to forget about labels and go on some dates to get to know each other better. I’ve never been on an actual dinner-and-a-movie type date before, so this will be fun. I hope I don’t do something wicked embarrassing out in public and make a scene for the media to slurp up. Even if I did, I know Logan would still love me…
Maybe even for real.
This is my one ray of sunshine in a world that’s been very dark lately. I’m just as scared as Logan is of screwing things up. This is my time to finally get things right.
Hmm…good song lyric.
Ttyl,
Mads
The next day is the first Monday in a long time that I walk up to the school with a hug
e smile on my face. Logan got up early again just to text me, and before I stepped out of the car, I read his message—
Logan: Morning, sweets. You cast a spell on me with your lips. I am no longer capable of thinking about anything else.
I text him back as I take my time down the sidewalk. Elbows bump my ribs as other students whisper their disdain and shove past me. Even acknowledging them is too much of a distraction for me to waste my time on. I’m lost in the world of Logan and Mads and have absolutely no desire to return to what other people term as “the real world.”
Me: Morning, babe ;) Miss you already.
Logan: Miss you too. Hope you have a good day at school. I’m jealous of all the guys who get to see you in person today. Wish I was a few years younger.
Me: I like you older. Are you working tonight?
Logan: Yeah. You could swing by my work if you want. Dave and Buster’s is always fun.
Me: Totally is, and I wish I could, but you know Dad and school nights.
Logan: Shit. Well, just know you’re welcome any time.
Me: Thanks :) Christmas break is soon. We’ll get plenty of time together then.
Logan: Oh yeah, I forgot. Mistletoe, anyone? ;)
A hot blush seeps into my cheeks.
Me: Yes, please. :)
Three dots come onto the screen, then go away as he erases something. He starts typing again, but I can’t help but wonder what it was he was going to tell me that he changed his mind about.
Logan: You’re amazing. I still can’t believe you chose me.
Me: Believe it, babe.
Somehow, I’m already feeling a tug at my fingers to type the words “I love you.” It’s ridiculous—we barely just kissed—but it feels natural. I was so cautious with Gio, and now I know it was for a good reason, but with Logan it already seems safe. I know I should wait for a better time, though, so I stop myself from writing the words.
D.O.R.K. Series Box Set Page 46