The sounds around us become muffled and my heart pounds in my ears as I melt into his rapturous kiss. Lost in the suppleness of his lips and the coarseness of his beard on my face, my lips part on their own accord, allowing his tongue to gain access to mine. His tongue is warm and sweet, and I find myself deepening the kiss, craving more of him.
No longer in control of my own thoughts or movements, the need within me taking over, I reach up to run my fingers through his hair. He lets out a deep moan before twining my tongue with his again. My head swims and my chest aches, but I can’t seem to pull myself away.
The buzzer sounds, signaling the end of intermission and the start of the third period, bringing me back to earth. Lizzy breaks our kiss and rests her forehead on mine, her eyes still closed as she pants.
“Is he gone?” she breathes, peering at me through her eyelashes.
Reluctant to do so, I pull away and look over her shoulder to see if that prick Jim Engels is gone. When I saw him hitting on her as I made my way back to our seats, it stirred this primal rage inside of me. I felt possessive and protective at the same time.
“Yeah, Jim’s gone,” I reply as my eyes land on her again. She stares back at me, her skin flushed, eyes glossy, and it takes everything in me not to lean in and kiss her again.
She takes a deep breath as she puts more distant between us, and my shoulders drop in defeat. I want more of her—so much more. “Wait,” she says, blinking as her features draw together, “do you know that creep?”
“Not really,” I answer, shaking my head. “He just has a bit of a reputation.”
Being a fellow Cell Block ticket holder, I’ve heard several rumors about the number of women he’s not only been with, but cheated on. Hell, I’m pretty sure I heard the guy is married now, yet here he was hitting on Lizzy. Lord knows I’m no saint, but I’ve never lied to a woman about my intentions—never made them believe our relationship was something it wasn’t, and that’s what makes him scum.
“Oh,” she says, her voice so low, I can barely hear her. “Well, thank you for rescuing me…yet again.”
She relaxes in her seat and smirks as she fiddles with her necklace—the only sign that she’s still feeling the effects of our kiss; a sign that maybe I’m not the only one who’s pulse is racing.
When I arrived at our seats, heart pumping and adrenaline spiked, I wanted to wipe the guy off the face of the earth, but I didn’t want to ruin Lizzy’s night. So, I decided to go with a less violent approach to get rid of him. I hadn’t set out to kiss her, only make him believe we were a couple, but when she turned to look at me and I saw the lust in her eyes, my subconscious took over.
“Yeah,” I smirk, shaking my head, “you’re like a magnet for assholes. I can’t take you anywhere.”
She flips me off, but a smile spreads across her face. “Whatever. You love being able to sweep in and play the hero anyway.”
Reaching up, I grasp her hand in mine and bring it to my lips to place a light kiss on it. “I don’t know,” I reply, still holding her hand. “I think I may have played the role of the villain just now too.” As I lean in closer, her eyes widen and she presses herself into the back of the seat. “I’ve wanted to do that all damn night.”
She pulls her hand from mine, her eyes blinking rapidly as she scoffs. “Yeah, that does kind of make you an asshole,” she sneers, crossing her arms. “But doing evil for the greater good could still be categorized as heroic in my book. It did get rid of the creep.”
“That it did,” I chuckle. “And I think I see another one headed this way,” I tease, leaning in close as if I’m going to kiss her again. She laughs as she pushes me away.
“I don’t think so, buddy,” she huffs, poking my chest with her finger. “In fact, I want you to promise you’ll never do that again.”
“What? Save you from some creep?” I ask, feigning clueless innocence.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” she clips, one brow quirked in challenge.
“Well, if you’re asking me to promise never to kiss you again, that isn’t happening.”
Shaking my head, I sit back in my seat and turn my attention to the game.
“Excuse me?” she screeches, pulling on my arm.
My gaze lands back on her and my lips curl into a smile. “I’ll tell you what,” I say, licking my lips as I lean in toward her again until we are nearly nose to nose. “I’ll promise never to kiss you again unless you ask me to.”
Her cheeks redden as she swallows, her eyes falling to my lips as her tongue darts out to wet her own. She can keep telling herself she doesn’t want me—that she isn’t interested in more than a friendship—but her kiss said something different. She’d been the one to deepen our kiss, lacing her fingers through my hair as if she needed more of me, and she wants to do it again just as badly as I do.
“That’s quite the villainous response,” she mocks, placing her hand on my chest and pushing me away, her eyes narrowing as they meet mine. “But since that’s never going to happen, it’s not a problem.” Smirking to herself, she turns to the game.
She may be confident in her abilities to resist me now, but the day will come when she’ll be ready to admit what she wants, and I’m going to be ready to give it to her.
“Never say never, baby,” I retort, catching the curve of her lips as I turn to watch the game.
Just Friends
“What are you thinking about so intently?” Brenden asks, leaning in close so I can hear him over the loud music. My stomach flips at his proximity, but I tamp the emotion down. He sits upright in his seat again, locking his eyes on mine, and my heart skips a beat. Treacherous body.
It’s been a week since the hockey game and that kiss, but my body still seems to react every time he gets too close, as if anticipating another kiss—wanting more of him. It just can’t seem to get my mind on board with my heart.
“Nothing really,” I lie, shaking my head as I reach up to twirl my necklace between my fingers. Feeling as if he can see inside my mind with his gaze, I divert my eyes to the women staring at Brenden as they walk by our table, not that he seems to notice.
In truth, I’d been thinking about a conversation I had with my mother the other day. Thanks to Cat, she was under the impression Brenden and I were dating. After I cleared that up by explaining he and I were just friends, she said something I can’t seem to shake.
“Please don’t close yourself off to the possibility of your friendship developing into something more. I know you loved Xander, and always will, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find love again.”
“You seem awfully focused on nothing,” he retorts, bringing my attention back to him. He places his hand on my arm and my eyes dart down to the now overly hot spot before moving up to meet his eyes.
Pulling my arm away from his grasp, I force my lips to curve into a smile and put my hands in my lap.
“Oh, I was just wondering exactly how old you are now,” I tell him, relaxing back in my chair as I reach for my beer.
We came out with Jon and Allison tonight to celebrate his birthday. First, dinner downtown at the Spaghetti Factory, and now, we’re at some bar on Broadway. When Brenden asked me if I’d like to join them, I didn’t think much of it. After all, it is his birthday and we’re friends. The kids are staying with Xander’s parents for the long Thanksgiving weekend anyway and I didn’t want to be alone, but tonight I’ve been wondering what my being here means to him—if he thought we were dating or there is something more than friendship between us. He pretty much let his interest be known with that kiss, and I’m terrified I gave him the idea that I wanted the same things by kissing him back.
“I’m thirty-four. What of it?” He smirks with an eyebrow raised.
“Wow,” I tease, my eyes widening in mock surprise as I set my beer on the table. “You’re an old man.”
“Yeah.” He presses his lips into a hard line, trying to hide the smile still visible in his gleaming eyes. “I’m go
ing out to buy my cane tomorrow.”
This is what I enjoy so much about our friendship—the ease and playfulness of our conversations. I feel more lighthearted and happy when I’m talking to Brenden. He’s made a positive difference in my life, and in me. It’s like he breathed life back into me. The thought of losing him causes a tightness in my chest, but I can’t give him any more than my friendship.
“Good, I got you an entire case of adult diapers for your birthday, so you should be covered there for a while,” I retort, winking at him.
Brenden lets out the hearty laugh I adore so much and leans his head back, smacking the table with his hand. I join him, letting go of my anxieties and concerns long enough to live in the moment.
“All right, smartass,” he huffs, shaking his head as his laughter begins to die down. “When do I get to return the favor? When is your birthday?” He flicks me in the arm, a lopsided smile on his face.
Scoffing, I rub my arm as if he actually hurt me and smile, remembering my thirtieth birthday. It was the same night he’d shown up at my table, my sister and Lori teasing me about him being my birthday gift from God. It’s hard to believe Brenden was just a stranger to me less than two months ago, given I feel so close to him now.
“You were there, actually. On my birthday, I mean. That was the night you came over to my table to introduce yourself,” I tell him, heat rising on my face as I think about how shamelessly he’d been hitting on me.
“No shit?” He chuckles, tilting his head, his eyes vacant, as if the memories of that night are replaying in his mind as well. “That’s crazy.”
“What’s crazy?” Allison asks, sitting in the chair on the other side of me.
I feel my body stiffen, her presence bringing an odd vibe to the table.
“Where’s Jon?” Brenden asks in a curt tone, not bothering to answer her question.
Allison points toward the bar where Jon is standing and rolls her eyes. Things have seemed a little off between the three of them all night, but maybe they just seem that way because my own mood has been all over the place.
Brenden asks if I want anything from the bar before he and Allison exchange an odd look. He glares at her with his eyes narrowed and jaw tight, but her features remain smooth. Excusing himself, Brenden gets up and walks over to join Jon at the bar, leaving me alone with Allison. When I pull my eyes from Brenden, I turn to find Allison’s glower fixed on me. I fidget from the weight of her stare as I try to figure out what to say to her.
“He really likes you, you know?” she says, her eyes narrowing and mouth twisting. My hackles start to rise at her tone and brashness, but I swallow down the irritation with another sip of my beer.
“Yeah, I like him too. Brenden is a good guy.” My stomach knots as I set my beer back on the table and pick at the label, feeling at a loss of what else to say. Her face screws up and her eyes cut through me with anger.
My gaze skirts over to the other side of the bar in search of Brenden, as she replies, “He really is. He doesn't deserve to be jerked around.”
“Excuse me?” I croak, my eyes snapping back to her. The hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention as heat spreads across my face. I fight the urge to lash out, my hand fisting at my side in irritation. Surely she isn’t talking about me jerking him around.
“I’ve never seen him like this. He’s...” she waves her hands through the air, as if trying to conjure the right word, “content. He’s content and I just don’t want to see him get hurt.”
“Neither do I,” I grit out, sitting up straighter in my chair and grabbing on to the edges of my seat. “Are you implying I will hurt him in some way?”
She shrugs. “I just think you should be very clear with where you stand.”
I stare at her, my mouth agape. “I have been.”
“Yeah, I know all about how you’ve told him you’re only interested in his friendship, but I also know your words mean nothing if your actions don’t follow suit.”
She sits back, crossing her arms, her gaze blazing as I sit in stunned silence, feeling as if she just slapped me in the face. She just single-handedly brought my fears to life by insinuating Brenden had stronger feelings for me and I’d given him hope of something more.
“Is everything okay over here?” I ask Lizzy and Allison, taking my seat next to her.
As Jon and I were approaching the table, I could tell something wasn’t right. Lizzy’s head was bent down and shoulders slumped as she played with the label on her beer, while Allison sat back, arms crossed, acting like Lizzy wasn’t even there.
Allison and Jon have both been on edge since before we even left the house and they saw fit to take it out on me. They lectured me separately about my relationship with Lizzy and the risk involved, and I told them both to mind their own damn business.
“Yep!” Allison chirps, scooting to the edge of her chair and slapping the table. “I’m going to dance.” She jumps to her feet and makes her way to the dance floor, Jon following right behind her without a word.
I turn my attention back to Lizzy, who’s still focused on pulling the label from her beer.
“Hey,” I say, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. Startled, her eyes snap to me. “Is something wrong?”
She bites down on her lip, her eyes glossy as they peer into mine, and shakes her head.
“No, I’m good.”
I’m not certain which makes her statement less believable: the forced smile on her face or her wavering tone. She seemed fine before I left the table, which means it must be something that happened while I was gone. Allison may not approve of my relationship with Lizzy, but I felt sure she wouldn’t say anything to her about it.
“Did Allison say something fucked up to you?” I ask, feeling frantic as Lizzy’s eyes move back to her bottle again, my heart beginning to beat erratically. “Whatever it was, it’s not about you. Something is going on with her and Jon.”
When her eyes lift to meet mine again, my heart comes to a hammering stop in my chest. It’s like someone dimmed the light in them, making her seem distant, or maybe disconnected.
“We’re friends, right?” she asks, her voice weak and words strangled as she fidgets in her seat.
Allison definitely said something to her; I’m positive of it now. I can practically see Lizzy’s walls firmly back in place, effectively shutting me out.
“Well, yeah. I’d like to think so by now,” I answer, my gaze unrelenting. Thoughts swarm my mind as I wait for her to say whatever it is she feels she needs to say.
“I mean...you know that’s all this is, right?” Her eyes shift around the room for a moment as she chews on the inside of her lip, and I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself.
“Unless something happened I’m not aware of,” I chuckle, hoping to keep this conversation light and casual—to bring back the playful, fun Lizzy I had here with me a few minutes ago.
“So, you’re still okay with just being friends then?”
My fists curl as my stomach knots. I’ve been waiting for her to push me away after our kiss. I knew she’d be freaked out. She wants me to stay within the boundaries she set for us from the beginning. Lizzy thrives on being in control of everything.
“Of course,” I grit out. “What in the hell did she say to make you think otherwise?”
“Nothing...it’s just...I mean…” She takes a deep breath before letting out a long sigh. “I just want to be sure I’m not sending off any signals to suggest anything other than friendship is an option…because it’s not...and it never will be. I think it’s important we keep all the lines drawn. I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”
Her eyes scan my face, her eyelashes blinking rapidly as her face pales awaiting my response, but I need a moment to catch my breath after being punched in the gut.
I can’t say her little speech is all that surprising, but it still stings a little to hear her say it. I know she feels this thing between us, whatever it may be—she’s felt just as much
from the beginning as I have—but the fact that she is so willing and eager to dismiss it makes me want to scream.
My jaw starts working itself back and forth as I try to figure out how to respond to her. What I want to do is kiss her freaking senseless, make her moan for me this time, and then ask her to repeat herself. If I hadn’t made that damn promise, that’s exactly what I would do right now.
“Tell you what, buddy...” I sneer, slamming my elbows on the table before leaning toward her. “Would it make you feel better if I find some beautiful woman in here tonight? I could dance with her for a while, then take her home for a good fuck.” Her face sours at my words, but she quickly recovers, smoothing her features. “Is that what you want me to do?”
“If that’s what you want to do, then you certainly shouldn’t let me, your friend, stand in the way,” she hisses, her shoulders squared and eyes narrowed as she pulls her cardigan tighter around her body.
My chest burns from all the emotion I’m trying to keep bottled inside me and the lump in my throat continues to grow. I’m not a game player, never have been. I’ve always believed in being straightforward with people, but right now, I want to prove a point. She’s calling my bluff and challenging me when all I want is for her to see how full of crap she is.
“All right, then…” I grit out, scanning the room for some poor woman to use as a pawn in my game. My gaze lands on a blonde two tables over that’s already eye-fucking me. My stomach churns as she smiles seductively, but I ignore it and return her smile as I stand. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to get to it.”
I can’t bring myself to look at Lizzy again as I leave the table, knowing it’ll only cause me to lose my resolve. My eyes remain focused on the blonde as I make my way over to her table. She laughs and whispers with her friends, pulling at her already very low cut top to reveal more cleavage. Bile rises in my throat as I arrive at her table, everything in me wanting to run back to Lizzy.
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