Terrified, I shook my hand free of Licinius’ grasp and ran. What had I done? Had I jeopardized my relationship with Yukihyo? I stepped on a leaf, slid, and went down hard on my right knee and palms. Why did it always have to be that knee?
“Teagan, wait.” Zared helped me to my feet and wiped at my tears with his hands.
“What am I becoming?”
Concern and worry darkened Zared’s eyes to their usual black. “Normal.”
I stared at him in confusion. “I’ve been with five men in a week. I can’t control myself. What are we going to do?”
Zared smoothed my hair as he had done since we had first met, and I had bound us together. I sobbed and covered my face with my muddy, scratched hands.
“We are going to return to the house. You will have a hot shower. Phillip will tend to your scrapes. We will listen to the storm and speak silently. Alright?” I nodded. “Please. Take my arm so you do not slip again.”
When we climbed the steps to the veranda, I could hear male laughter coming from inside of the house. Servants rushed forward for my poncho and flip flops.
“May I be excused, Princess?” Zared asked. I nodded.
“What happened to you?” Nico asked.
Thunderdrop chirped at him, jumped down from me, and shook a different leg with each of his steps into the house. He went straight for Lorca who was setting out his food and water bowls.
“Thunderdrop needed help.”
“It looks like you could use some help,” Nico said.
He scooped me up and carried me to our room and into the bathroom. I stripped out of my wet clothes and used the waste unit. Nico had already gotten into the shower. I let the water wash off the jungle grime and warm my skin.
“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong? One moment, you were content and at peace as though you had at last come to the end of a long struggle. Then, in the next instant, you were overcome with fear and self-loathing.” I stared up at Nico until he became too blurry to see. “Hey, now. What is this?”
I sobbed. Nico held me to his chest as the water cascaded over us. “I’m one of those promiscuous sluts.”
Nico’s laughter rumbled through the ear I had pressed to his chest. “Oh, no you aren’t.”
“I am. You don’t know.”
“What don’t I know?”
Ashamed, I forced myself to look up into his big brown eyes. “I cheated on you.”
“Oh, and how did you manage that?”
I considered my options. In my mind, Zared said, “No one has to know. What happened between us will remain secret. I will deal with Inquisitor Licinius.”
Without a doubt, I knew Zared would keep his word, but the very idea of being dishonest with everyone I loved and with myself felt sickening. Knowing what I had to do, I bit my lip hard enough to draw blood and forced the words out.
“I took advantage of Zared. I corrupted him with my depraved uncontrollable lust.”
Nico’s eyes widened, but he laughed even harder. I smacked his wet butt with my scraped palm and then clutched my injured hand to my chest. He stood to his full height, pointed a finger to speak, but then started laughing again. I started to cry.
“No, no, no, Teagan. Don’t cry. It’s alright.”
“No, it’s not. It’s bad enough I have so many husbands, but now I’m taking advantage of innocent men to whom I’m not even married. I’m a terrible person.”
“No, you aren’t. You are a sweet, soft, kind-hearted woman. You made love to a man who you have needed but denied yourself for several months and during one of the most fragile times of your life. You gave us a son. All of Parvac knows what this time is like for our women. It has always been so.” Nico bent down and tilted his head to look into my eyes.
“But, Licinius caught us. He said terrible things. He made a thermal recording of us and threatened to tell.”
Nico stilled and became frightening. “He did?” I nodded. “Turn and let me wash your hair. Good. Now, tell me everything.”
I did. After we were wrapped in towels, I asked, “Oh, Nico, what should I do? He’s going to make me marry him. I don’t want to. He’s mean, and I don’t like him.”
Nico kneeled down in front of me. “No one can make you do anything. Alright?”
I nodded. Nico handed me a robe and then walked from our room with his towel around his hips. When he came back, it was with Phillip who had his medical bag.
“Oh, Cupcake. Did you get boo boos?”
“I slipped. It’s no big deal.”
Nico pulled on a pair of pants and a shirt. Then, he called Yukihyo. Phillip’s face darkened as we told them what had happened. I was terrified of losing Yukihyo’s love. What I had done was wrong. I deserved his anger. I had to accept responsibility for my betrayal of him and my other husbands. It didn’t stop me from crying. Yukihyo handed me waste paper.
“Don’t be kind to me. I don’t deserve it.”
“Blow. Teagan, I’ve accepted it since Leucon. I sensed what happened through our bond. I will create a marriage contract for Zared to present to you. Then, you can release this guilt. You have spent enough of your short life suffering. Have you not? Eighteen of your years were spent in misery. Allow yourself some happiness.”
Fitz had returned from his pineapple plantation and stood listening.
Nico said, “There is another reason for our wife’s tears.” Nico called Zared and had him give his recollection of the events.
When Eli heard what had happened, he was furious. They called Papa.
“Inquisitor Licinius threatened my little girl and made her cry. Deal with him. Zared, you will alleviate Teagan’s guilt at once, or else I will flog you with such force that my future grandchildren will feel it.” Puzzled, I frowned at Papa’s reaction. “My darling. Parvac embraces the enhancing of our genetics. Children of mixed heritage are Parvacian children and only strengthen our race. Licinius is using your own fears against you to gain his objective. Now, forget about him. No one cares about him or his thermal scans. Our people would love and emulate you no matter what you were to do. Now, I order you as your father and your Emperor to be happy and enjoy yourself. We almost lost you. I don’t want anything troubling you. You are a good girl, and your Papa is very proud of you. Alright?” Papa asked as he smiled at me. I nodded and wiped my eyes. Papa stared at Zared and pointed. “Proof, and the sooner I get it, the better it will be for you.”
“Yes, Emperor Probus,” Zared said with a bow.
“Remember, gentlemen. My daughter has taken you as her husbands. Act like it.”
“Oh, Papa!” I said with a horrified blush. “They have been. Plenty.”
The men in the room laughed. Yukihyo took my hand and kissed my knuckles. “He meant that the way Licinius treated you is not to be tolerated.”
Furiously hungry cries became louder and closer as Lorca brought Niklos to me. After his feeding, he stayed awake, and I got to play with him which made me feel better. The rain continued steadily for the remainder of the day. We sat under the wide roof of a balcony and enjoyed the fresh air brought to us by the strengthening breeze. Thunderdrop refused to sit with us because of the stray errant drops of rain that made their way beneath our shelter. Neema played with her blocks in a playpen while I rocked Niklos. From where we sat, I could see heavy waves crashing upon the beach. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sounds of waves, rain, and wind.
By dinner, the verandas and balconies had lost their appeal. The servants closed off the outside areas, and after the household attendance was checked and verified, protective shielding was erected over the property. I was terrified. The beach had disappeared beneath the water, and the jungle looked more black than green. Fitz and his father were in the kitchen cooking, joking, and reminiscing about previous storms. I realized on Thalassa that hurricanes occurred with regularity.
I tried to act unaffected. Yukihyo, Nico, Phillip, and all of the hybrids knew that I was faking. Poor Thunderdrop huddled against my neck. I rubb
ed his legs. Yukihyo kept Neema in his arms and soothed her so my fears wouldn’t reach her. The wind had begun to howl after dinner. While I concentrated on not being frightened, something brushed against me, and I screamed before I could stop myself. It was Fitz with a bowl of pineapple ice cream. He and his father exchanges looks.
“Why didn’t you tell me the storm is frightening you?”
“Me? I’m not scared. It’s just a little rain.”
“Oh, bullshit,” Phillip said. “I’ve been debating whether or not to sedate you.”
“I’m fine.” I scowled at him.
“Oh, really? What’s that on your dress?”
I looked down. “Well, shit.” Fear had made my breasts leak. My new father laughed.
“Teagan,” Yukihyo admonished.
“Let’s get you changed,” Fitz suggested as he handed my ice cream to Phillip who smiled and dug into it.
Fitz had very creative ways for helping me get cleaned up. Afterwards, I laid in his arms and listened to him talk. “Once the storm passes and the rain clears, there will be all types of interesting shells for us to find on the beach. Would you like that?”
I nodded against his chest. Sometime later, I woke to wind so loud that it muffled Niklos’ cries.
“Come in,” I called to Lorca’s knock on the door. With hands shaking with fright, I took my baby and put him to my breast. Lorca handed me a silk square for his little nose. “Hush, baby.” I nudged Fitz awake with my foot. “Fitz, Fitz!”
“Yes, my love,” he said as his eyes drifted open.
“Are you sure we wouldn’t be safer in orbit or at least on the Empress?”
Fitz smiled and sat up. “If I were not completely certain of the safety of our home, there is no way you and the children would be here.”
Fitz rubbed Niklos’ foot. Thunderdrop jumped to sit on top of my head. Fitz got up, put on a pair of pajama bottoms, and took Pane from his terrarium. The lizard crawled over Fitz’s arms and then draped himself over his shoulder all while wearing his special little vest. For whatever reason, Niklos was wide awake. Fitz held him while I put on a gown.
“Lorca, go back to bed. I’ll stay up with him.” He bowed to me and returned to his room next to the nursery.
“Coffee?” Fitz asked.
“Yes, please.” In the main room, we found Nico, Yukihyo, Kaoti, and Eli. “Can we join in on your secret meeting?” I asked in a baby voice for Niklos.
“Give me my son, woman,” Nico said. As I placed Niklos in his arms, he smelled Niklos’ neck and kissed his soft baby cheek.
I curled up next to Yukihyo and sipped the coffee Fitz brought me. Thunderdrop moved from my head to sit on the back of the couch. My thoughts went to Zared, and I felt his awareness brush against my own. I squeezed Yukihyo’s hand.
“I need to talk to him. I feel terrible about how I’ve treated him.”
Standing with me, Yukihyo gave me his arm and escorted me through the large still house while the wind continued to scream like an echo of my own thoughts. Zared waited for us at his opened door. He wore pajama bottoms and extended a vid-screen out to Yukihyo with a bow.
Taking it from him, Yukihyo said, “I’ll look over this and send it to Tavere for final approval once the storm clears.” He kissed my temple and walked back the way we had come.
I peeked around Zared sensing that he wasn’t alone. The room had four bunks, and the other three occupants were also wide awake. “Is the storm scaring you, too?”
Zared smiled and hesitantly reached out to touch my hair. “No, you are safe.”
I whispered, “Can we go somewhere and talk?”
He laced our fingers together and walked with me to one of the screened in back sunrooms that was dark and shuddered. Zared activated a small lamp.
“I want to apologize. I messed everything up so badly.” I started wringing my hands together searching for words that would give meaning to my swirling thoughts. “Since we first met, even though the circumstances were terrible, all you’ve tried to do is comfort and care for me. You’ve been loyal and patient. But then, what do I do? Instead of making your first time romantic and special, I ravaged you in a wet muddy jungle like an animal. Then, to make it worse, instead of telling Licinius to go fuck himself, I did the cruelest thing I could do to you. I was ashamed, but not of you. I don’t want you to think that. You’re hot, really. I’m ashamed of myself for being a slut. Now that I am married, I think it’s wrong to do that with someone to whom I’m not married, and I couldn’t control myself. I guess what I’m hoping is that you can find some way to forgive me even though I probably don’t deserve it.”
Fearful of his expression, I stopped pacing and clutched my hands together at my chest. Zared stood close enough to touch. A few strands of his hair fell across his shoulder and over his right nipple making it play peek-a-boo. He moved forward bringing his hands up to cup my face. In the dim lamp light, I could see that my ineloquent words had caused sclera to appear at the edges of his solid black eyes. Zared’s kiss was the embodiment of emotional fulfillment.
“You have given me a home in your heart and in your mind. I have been snagged in the Arachnean web you have constructed of love and compassion. You have given me more than I ever dreamed possible. Aside from my brothers, love, trust, and acceptance from an outsider was inconceivable. Now, you share my desire for physical intimacy. I know your mind and heart. You didn’t use my body to slake your lust. You shared your body with me to express the love we share where words and thoughts failed you.”
My pulse pounded beneath the fingertips Zared trailed down my neck to the thin shoulder straps of my gown. I throbbed and ached between my legs. He moved his other hand beneath my gown to cup my rear. A frantic sound escaped me. Moisture slid from me, and I touched Zared through his pajama bottoms to find he shared my desire. Zared stepped out of his attire and entered me as he laid me back on a couch. He was a quick study and had me breathless and trembling beneath him before quickening his thrusts and finding his own release. Then, Zared lowered himself down my body and cleaned me with his tongue and mouth. By the time he had completed his task, all I could see were stars and flashes of light.
Chapter Fourteen
I woke up in bed between Yukihyo and Nico drooling on the former’s chest. The terrifying winds had stopped, but the rains continued. Yukihyo sensed I was awake and chuckled softly. He followed me into the bathroom and joined me in the shower. His eyes were solid white.
“What has you in such a good mood? I’m surprised you aren’t upset with me.”
Yukihyo grinned. “Your talk with Zared had those of us with whom you share a bond experiencing your intense pleasure. He pleased you so thoroughly that you blacked out.”
Yukihyo pressed himself against me. Lifting me by my thighs, he pushed my back against the shower wall and made his love and acceptance of me very clear.
Throughout the course of the morning, the visible sclera of my hybrid brothers along with Phillip’s incessant whistling had me blushing furiously.
Thankfully, Fitz decided to take us to a covered bazaar. When we arrived, Neema and I shared the same opinion.
“Oh,” she said as she leaned her head back and looked up at the plasti-glass roof and the rain that slid off of it.
Yukihyo and Phillip left us with Nico, Fitz, and Eli. Zared, Izaac, and the others had spread out to guard us. Content that I was safe, I bought Neema and Thunderdrop every single toy they wanted. Brightly colored clothing in sheer fabrics were displayed on spinning double-stranded helixes that also served as structural supports for the building. I bought a bright blue gauzy gown hanging from one of the displays. We shopped until Niklos became disgruntled. Then, Fitz took us to his pineapple plantation for a tour. Farming was every bit as involved as the harvesting of silk spider webs. Fitz had his own house on his plantation. His house had a covered porch that wrapped all of the way around it.
I rested in a hammock on the porch right outside of the room where the chi
ldren napped in their portable cribs. Fitz had wanted to inspect his property after the storm. I had told him to take his time. I felt more at home at Fitz’s house. It was more peacefully isolated. I looked out at the vast fields and imagined the pineapples growing there to be stars, and his house was my fighter ship. I smiled to myself as the hammock swung and imagined I was darting past asteroids.
“Teagan,” Zared said as he approached on silent footsteps. I smiled and turned my head. Zared was a beautiful nebula full of possibilities. He knelt down beside me. “Will you take me as your husband for all to know that I am yours? I will never crowd you in any way or attempt to come between you and Yukihyo. I know you would have wished to remain his alone for all of your lives. I will always protect what is dear to you, my lady.”
Carefully, I sat up. I took his vid-screen from him and pressed my palm to its surface. “I know your words are true. I know you understand my heart. I must accept that even had my genetic scans not been taken, my race would have been questioned after Neema’s birth. My physiology would have caused me to loath myself had I not learned the truth. If I had lost Yukihyo, the only person who had ever truly loved me, because of my own physiological urges, it would have destroyed me. I am fortunate to have the love and support of such open-minded husbands.”
Zared’s hand lingered on mine as he took his vid-screen from me. I felt a surge of possessiveness from him that he attempted to hide.
“Zared, let’s not have secrets between us.” The hammock swayed beneath me as he leaned forward to kiss me.
“I must return to my station. Each time one of your suitors comes near, we confuse and redirect his thoughts.” Zared bowed to me and walked away, and I didn’t have to feel guilty about enjoying the view.
I smiled at that and felt a bit smug. Even though I had behaved like an animal with Zared, now that we were married, I didn’t have to feel guilty about it. My vid-screen signaled. When I tapped it, Simon’s red hair and pale blue eyes filled my view. He waggled his fingers at me.
Omnes Videntes (The Space Merchants Book 4) Page 23