I’d have a brain transplant first. I could never go back.
Shaking my head, I dropped my mouth to hers. She kissed me sweetly, innocently, still slightly afraid.
Pulling away, I murmured, “No. I jumped because I’ll never get used to you touching me. It makes me come alive. It makes me want you so fucking much.”
A blush coloured her cheeks.
I kissed her, nipping at her lower lip. “Touch me again.”
Zel obeyed. Her hands came up and landed on the buttons of my white shirt. Slowly, she unbuttoned it. The room filled with throbbing tension, cracking between us. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her and groaned as she pushed aside the material and placed her hands on my chest.
My cock swelled.
My vision popped with bright lights.
“Goddammit, Zel you have the power to bring me to my knees.”
Her lips parted and her touch grew firmer, branding me with fire. Every fingertip was fucking heaven. Hot and gentle, possessive and female. She could undo me with a simple stroke.
I held my breath as she pushed the white shirt off my shoulders. My heart raced. “I was the one who wanted to seduce you. But you’re the one in control again.”
Emerald eyes shot to mine and I drowned in fucking love for her. “You don’t need to seduce me.”
I shook my head. “I wanted to remind you that you belong to me. That you may have two little lives to look after, but I still own you, just like you own me.”
She bit her lip as a torrent of emotion skittered over her face. Her finger looped around the star necklace at her throat. The same necklace we wore to honour Clara’s memory. Every time things became too much for her, she’d touch the silver and find peace to carry on. I always knew when she let sadness take her hostage—the light in her would dim—almost as if she left part of herself in this world to go and talk to a daughter who no longer existed in human form.
My heart hurt, remembering the little girl who would’ve been the best big sister in the world. I would never stop thinking of Clara and what she did for me, but tonight wasn’t about grief. Tonight was all about celebration.
“You don’t need to remind me. I know I’m yours. Just like Clara was. Just like Vasily and Vera are. You deserve all of us, Roan. You make me complete.”
I couldn’t help it. I grabbed the back of her neck and crushed her against me. Her taste exploded in my mouth and something snapped in her—meeting the rapidly building need in me.
Capturing the sash of her cherry coloured dressing gown, I tugged on the cord. I’d watched her take a bath earlier and I couldn’t get the images of her breasts floating, covered with bubbles out of my mind. She’d looked like a delectable desert all for me.
“I want you, dobycha.”
“I’m not your prey.”
I bowed my head and bit her neck. “No? What are you then?”
She shivered as I licked her gently and dragged my nose up her chin. Inhaling her lily of the valley and clean smell of soap, I drugged myself on her.
Her eyelids fluttered closed, swaying into me as I yanked the dressing gown off her shoulders and cupped her breast. “What are you, Hazel?”
My cock throbbed to plunge inside her, but I wanted to go slow. I wanted to savour every part.
She dropped her eyes. I raised my fingers to press beneath her chin. Her lips tilted upward, looking plump and tempting.
“Kiss me,” I demanded.
Her eyes grew heavy. She swayed forward on tiptoe, pressing her delicious lips against mine.
Holding her chin, I forced her to open her mouth, slinking my tongue inside. She moaned; her fingers twitched against my chest. I loved her touch. I loved her being able to touch me. I loved that I had no urge to crush her or slam her to the floor.
I couldn’t have asked for a better gift.
“I love you,” I whispered against her lips.
Her arms suddenly flew around me, pressing herself hard. Her curves to my edges. Her flame to my dynamite.
Gone was the need to drag out the night. I couldn’t think about eating or sitting across from her and trying to ignore the pull.
The room throbbed with need. My head pounded with hunger to be inside her. I’d run out of self-control.
Gathering her up, I stumbled backward, bringing her with me. “I’m going to worship you, Zel.”
She trembled in my arms, her sleek wet tongue dancing with mine.
When my bare feet sank into the fluffy sheepskins on the floor, I lowered us down until I sat upright, and she straddled my lap.
I groaned as her hands dropped from my chest to my buckle. I no longer wore black. I no longer had a compulsion to dress in a colour that offered me some form of safety. I wore whatever colour struck me. I embraced designs and patterns.
I still didn’t wear underwear though, and gasped as Zel’s hot hand wrapped around my cock.
She pumped me once, causing my stomach to clench. Fire exploded in my balls. I lost all thought and control. I struggled to stay coherent. “Zel. Wait—I want…”
Her every touch annihilated me, not because I no longer wanted to kill her, but because she brought me back to life.
“Make love to me, Roan.”
I no longer had to obey her commands, but I wouldn’t turn down the request—the sweet invitation of joining with the woman who gave me everything.
I grabbed a handful of hair and pulled her neck back. The silver star glinted around her neck and I paused. Instead of biting her, I kissed her ever so gently.
She moaned, wriggling against me.
“God, don’t move. I’ll come if you do.” My hands dropped to cup her breast. Shock filled me. Her breasts were swollen and big. Not what I was used to from her smaller cup size.
Zel squirmed away after a second, too sensitive. “I need you, Roan. Now.”
How was it every time we had sex it ended being too much to bear. Too wild. Too full of need to take it slow.
I could barely see with need for her.
Wrapping my arms around her back, I squashed her against me. Loving the thrum of her heart against mine. The heat of her skin. “I want to spend a lifetime making you come, Hazel. A lifetime of pleasure and happiness.”
She smiled, throwing her head back as I kissed along her chin. “I like that proposal.” Her mouth searched mine and she moaned as I plunged my tongue past her lips. I fucking drowned in her taste and my hips surged upward, searching for her.
Her tongue swirled with mine while she gyrated on my lap. She rushed me, rubbing her intoxicating wetness along my cock. I growled with frustration as her eager hand went between my legs and cupped my balls. “Now, Roan. Take me.”
I gritted my teeth as a wave of lust filled my belly. “I wanted to lead tonight, but you’ve taken control once again. You own me so fucking completely, Zel.” My vision pulsed as she stroked my cock, harder and harder until all I could think about was filling her. Thrusting into her.
“I’m just enjoying being able to touch you with no fear.” She bent her head to bite my neck. “I can bite you.”
She stopped stroking me and shoved the robe away until she sat gloriously naked in my lap. Her arms wrapped around my shoulders, bringing us within breathing distance. “I can hug you.”
Spreading her legs, she arched her back and sank ever so slowly down my length. “I can fuck you.”
I groaned as she consumed me with hot darkness. “I can adore you.” Her arms pressed on my shoulders as she pushed upward. We moaned loudly as she sank back down. Down and down until every inch of me was in every inch of her.
Goddammit, this woman. I would never get enough of her.
I fucking loved her forever.
Throwing all plans for a slow and seductive evening away, I pushed up with my legs and splayed her flat on her back on the sheepskin. She flinched at the speed, then sighed and shivered as I thrust into her.
“You like that?” I kissed her nose, her cheek, her eyelids. “You like
me being inside you? Fucking you? Loving you?”
She bit her lip, fingernails scrabbling at my back. “Yes. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.”
The flickering gold and oranges of the fire danced across her skin, making her look like she burned with need.
Keeping my weight on one elbow, I traced down the centre of her body all while rocking into her. I followed the path of where the silver chain used to be. The one I’d fabricated in hope it would protect her from me. I missed it. We hadn’t used it often, but now I liked the thought of restraining her just so I could indulge in my fill. To make her come apart as successfully as she made me.
I made a mental note to fabricate another. To bind her with silver, so I could take her completely.
For now, I had an alternative.
Leaning down to kiss her, I fumbled for the edge of the sheepskin and came up with the pair of fluffy handcuffs.
Her eyes flared, but she didn’t say a word as I secured one around her wrist and the other…around mine. Locking us together left wrist to left wrist. The novelty cuffs didn’t stand a chance against holding, but I liked the symbolism; the blatant acknowledgment that we belonged to each other.
Her free hand captured the back of my head, dragging me down for another kiss. “Whatever you have in mind, you better hurry. I need you so much.”
I chuckled. “You’ve ruined my plans already. I’d planned on making love to you, slowly, softly.”
She moaned and shook her head. “No. I want you hard. I want to sweat and pant and explode.”
It was my turn to groan.
I couldn’t take it. This witch had successfully stolen everything I was and I wanted nothing more than to obey.
I rolled away and carefully pulled her on top of me. Staying deep inside her, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her perfection. Her full breasts. Her pouty lips. She looked like a fucking goddess.
I couldn’t stand it. It was too much.
Gripping her hips, I thrust upward, transfixed by her heavy bouncing breasts and flushed skin.
She fell forward, crushing me with her body.
Before, such a move would’ve caused an innate reaction to kill her. I wouldn’t have been able to control the conditioning—now, I never wanted her to leave. I wanted to stay beneath her like this forever.
We rocked together, finding a rhythm uniquely us. Her soft scent drugged me, and I lost all sense of time as we gave each other pleasure.
“God, you feel amazing,” I groaned, relishing in the slow build-up, the tightness in my balls.
Hazel sat up, capturing my cheeks. I sucked in a breath at the love shining in her eyes. “You’re mine, Roan Averin. Forever.”
I nodded in a sex-filled trance. “Forever.”
“Make me come.” Her voice turned husky and her hand dropped to land on my heart, bracing herself as she rode me.
Locking my legs against the rapidly building orgasm, I pressed two fingers against her clit and swirled with a pressure I knew she loved.
Her eyes snapped closed; her hips rocked harder, dragging me closer to the edge. “Yes, like that. Um…”
Shit, I need her.
I needed to be in control. The one taking and giving.
Flipping her over, I rubbed her clit with a demanding hand and drove into her. Her legs hooked over my hips as she panted faster and faster.
“Do you want me?” I growled. “Do you want me to make you shatter?”
She bit her lip, nodding. “More than anything.”
“Do you know how much I care for you? How much you brought me back to life?”
Her eyes locked with mine. “Do you know how much I care for you? How much you’ve given me?”
The unconditional love in her gaze undid me. There would be no more talking. Only chasing our ultimate goal.
Dropping my mouth to hers, I thrust deep. Finding a pace that sent shooting stars down my back and legs.
My mind fogged as my release built and built.
Zel sucked in a breath as I found her clit again. “Come for me, Zel. Come for me like you did in the greenhouse. Shatter for me.”
She threw her head back, hair tangling with the sheepskin below. Her skin flushed and the first band of her release caught me by surprise.
I had no chance against the strong grip of her body.
My orgasm raced from tingle to explosions. And my cock detonated with sensation. I thrust harder, letting myself spill. Ripple after ripple, my cock spurted. “Fuck, you’re amazing,” I growled as I chased the violent edge of my release.
Zel cried out as I drove harder. Her fingernails scratched my back sending ribbons of heat down my skin.
My legs cramped, my body stiffened and I poured every last drop into the woman who I would spend the rest of my life serving.
When the lightning had passed and we lay exhausted in each other’s arms, I pressed a gentle kiss on her lips. “One of these days I’m going to seduce the hell out of you. I’ll tie you up and spend hours torturing you with every sexual device I can think of.”
She smiled, eyes hazy with desire. “It sounds like heaven. Tomorrow. Book that in for tomorrow.” She flopped onto her side, curling into the sheepskin. “And a massage, too. You owe me for the one I gave you.”
My mind skipped back to the night she’d tried to break me. The struggle I’d suffered. The conditioning that almost ruined my life.
I shuddered.
I never wanted another flashback.
I never wanted to think about Russia or Ghosts again.
Mimicking Hazel, I lay on my side, then I did the one thing I’d been dying to do for months.
Gathering her inert, well-sated form into mine, I spooned the woman I loved. Locking us together like a yin and yang. The fluffy cuffs adding another element of belonging.
She sighed, snuggling her perfect ass into my front and grabbing my arm to hug her tighter. “This. This is what I always hoped we’d have.”
I nuzzled her ear, breathing deeply. “I’ll hold you every night as you go to sleep. Every morning, I’ll wake up and make love to you. And we’ll grow old together in each other’s arms.”
She sighed in perfect contentedness.
We relaxed in front of the fire for hours. My body wrapped around her. Two sides of two lifetimes coming together forever.
The issues of my past had gone. I had freedom to play with my children and learn to be a father. I had the privilege of learning to be a worthy husband.
My life had started with hope and ended by tragedy, but through all of it, I survived. I survived and fell in love with the woman who saved me, and I had a future I would treasure forever.
One day I would hold my daughter’s hand while I walked her to school.
One day I would teach my son how to metal work.
I had everything I ever wanted.
I had more love than I could ever need.
I had a family.
The End
About Pepper Winters
Pepper Winters is a NYT and USA Today International Bestseller. She wears many roles. Some of them include writer, reader, sometimes wife. She loves dark, taboo stories that twist with your head. The more tortured the hero, the better, and she constantly thinks up ways to break and fix her characters. Oh, and sex… her books have sex.
She loves to travel and has an amazing, fabulous hubby who puts up with her love affair with her book boyfriends. She’s also honoured to wear the IndieReader Badge for being a Top 10 Indie Bestsellers, best BDSM series voted by the SmutClub, and recently signed a two book deal with Grand Central. Her books are currently being translated into numerous languages and will be in bookstores in the near future.
Her Dark Romance books include (click for buylinks from numerous online sites):
Tears of Tess (Monsters in the Dark #1)
Quintessentially Q (Monsters in the Dark #2)
Twisted Together (Monsters in the Dark #3)
Debt Inheritance (Indebted #1)
Firs
t Debt (Indebted Series #2)
Her Grey Romance books include (click for buylinks from numerous online sites):
Destroyed
Upcoming releases are (click the link to add to Goodreads)
Ruin & Rule
Je Suis a Toi (Monsters in the Dark Novella)
Forbidden Flaws
To be the first to know of upcoming releases, please join Pepper’s Newsletter (she promises never to spam or annoy you.)
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Acknowledgements
I find writing acknowledgements harder than writing a four hundred page book. I worry about missing people out, having a brain freeze, and forgetting someone fundamental to my journey. So, this is my disclaimer: I’m eternally sorry if I forget you. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you any less or appreciate everything you do, it’s because I’ve frozen up and my brain has gone on strike.
Now the disclaimer is out of the way, let’s begin:
First, I’d like to thank my husband because without his constant support and endless patience I wouldn’t be able to write as much as I do. He’s there to discuss plot holes, listen to me rant and rave, hold my hand with bad reviews, and cheer me on while I make my dreams come true. Love that man to death.
Second, I’d like to thank the amazing people behind the scenes. Arijana Karcic from Cover it! Designs for all my amazing covers and Kellie Dennis from Book Cover by Design for the original tattooed cover for Destroyed. Love your talent, ladies, and, Ari, I would be lost if we didn’t chat about meaningless things on FB.
Next, I’d like to thank Nadine Colling for doing such an amazing job running my street team. You and Tamara McRae are truly amazing and I love chatting with you ladies. Thank you to all the amazing women in my street team for your incredible support and pimpage. I know I couldn’t do any of this without you.