I placed a hand over my stomach and thought about what he was saying. It made perfect sense. I didn’t want to raise this baby, but I didn’t want him to die. Having an abortion just seemed like such a waste of a life, and after hearing the heartbeat, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“There are a lot of women out there who can’t have children,” I mused, the wheels turning slowly in my head.
He nodded. “Yes. There are women who have the desire you don’t have yet, that want a baby to raise.”
“Yeah, but what if Blob grows up to hate us?” I asked, suddenly struck by the thought of my own kid hating me. “What if he finds out he’s adopted and becomes angry and bitter because he thinks we don’t want him?”
Chase reached for me and pulled me against his chest. “Listen, I can’t pretend to have all the answers. You were right when you said we aren’t prepared for this. I want to be a father someday, but when I’m stable and ready to give that baby everything it needs to thrive in this world. You’re going to be a great mom someday, but maybe after you’ve learned a little more about how to take care of yourself first. If Blob grows up and finds out he’s adopted, I would hope his parents would explain to him that we made the best decision we could in our circumstances. They will tell him that we gave him to a loving family, and that was the greatest gift we could have ever given him.”
A tear rolled down my cheek and wet the front of Chase’s shirt. “You’re right,” I said with a sniffle. “It’s the perfect solution. Thank you, Chase.”
“For what?”
“For letting this be an option. It’s your baby, too … I’m not the only one giving something up here.”
Chase stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head. “I didn’t let you do anything, we made a decision together. It’s what parents are supposed to do.”
I choked back a sob at the mention of parents. “What am I going to do?” I whispered. “My parents pay for everything—my education, my rent. I need them.”
Chase pulled away a bit and took my face in his hands. “No you don’t,” he insisted. “Come on, where’s that fiery girl I met this summer who doesn’t take shit from anyone? Your dad thinks that taking away his money will break you. He wants you to do things his way and he’s trying to force you by dangling money in front of you. Don’t let him win. You show him that he’s wrong about you. Show him you have what it takes to make it on your own.”
I smiled up at him and nodded. “You’re right. Screw him and his money.”
“That’s right. You don’t need it or him.”
“No,” I murmured, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I don’t need him or anybody. Not when I have you.”
He drew a sharp breath at that. “You do? I mean … of course you know you do, I just mean … you want to have me?”
I grinned up at him and stood on my tiptoes, touching my mouth to his. “Nobody has ever stood up for me the way you did,” I said, nuzzling his nose with the tip of mine. “It made me realize that I’ve been holding back for nothing. I’ve been hurt, Chase, so badly I thought I would never come back from it. I have been afraid ever since, and holding back from being serious about anybody because of that fear. But tonight, you showed me that you would never hurt me. You showed me that you would never let anything else hurt me either, not even my own parents.”
His hands tightened at my waist, pulling me closer. “Of course I wouldn’t,” he said lightly. “You’re my baby mama.”
I laughed, pinching his shoulder playfully. “I’m being serious here.”
He chuckled. “So am I. I was afraid too, you know. When I first came to Austin and made that phone call asking if you wanted us to be something more, I was panicking the whole time. But I knew what I wanted, and that was you.”
We kissed, our lips melding in a perfect meeting of flesh. His tongue invaded my mouth, engaging mine in a sensual slide that left me reeling and dizzy from the sensation. I clung to him, my body pressed tightly to him from chest to hip.
“Well, I guess that means I have to start wooing you now,” he said, his voice low and husky as we pulled apart.
I tugged gently on the unruly curls kissing the nape of his neck. “You’d better start saving up then,” I teased, “because I’m not a cheap date.”
That night we got a room in a hotel on the edge of town. It was too late to drive home and we’d had an eventful day. Nothing was like it was supposed to be, but it was easy to pretend it was after taking a hot shower and hunkering under the covers with Chase. I closed my eyes and let him wrap his arms around me from behind while we lay there, talking about the kind of parents we wanted for little Blob.
“They have to be well off,” I insisted. “Not rich, but still able to give him everything he deserves.”
“They should be Democrats,” he said.
I glared at him over my shoulder. “Seriously?”
He shrugged. “Fine, I’ll take moderate Republicans who care about the environment.”
Shaking my head, I ignored him and moved on. “They should live in a good school district.”
“Pets … the baby should have a pet. But no cats. I instinctively don’t trust them.”
“Agreed. Cats are the spawn of Satan. So, dog people?”
“Dog people for sure, but none of those little rat terrier things. Nothing small enough to fit in a handbag.”
Sitting up, I turned to face him. “What? What’s wrong with a teacup dog? I had a yorkie named Mr. Kensington growing up and I adored him!”
Chase propped himself up on one elbow and gave me a mocking smile. “Did you carry him around in a Coach purse?”
I pushed him, causing him to land on his back and then straddled him, folding my arms over my chest, and staring down at him murderously. “Of course not. He had his own little carrier for when he went to the groomer’s.”
Chase laughed uproariously as if I’d just told him the funniest joke in the world. “That’s just what we need, isn’t it? A miniature version of you walking around with a teacup poodle in a purse.”
“It was a yorkie,” I insisted with a scowl. “And better a spoiled kid with a dog inside of a purse than a self-righteous tree hugger.”
My insult only made Chase laugh harder. “Maybe a nice blend of us both: a tree-hugger who likes fashionable handbags that aren’t made from animal products and participates in meatless Mondays.”
“I could live with that,” I decided with a shrug.
He grabbed my waist and flipped me, looming over me as my head hit the pillow. “Talk time is over now,” he murmured, his lips brushing against mine. “I’ve got some wooing to do, remember?”
Before I could respond, his mouth was on mine—warm, firm, and sure. His weight was solid over me, his hips a perfect fit cradled between mine. My body roared to life at his touch, tingles of awareness starting at my scalp and working their way steadily downward. He pressed me to the bed, our bodies as close as two people can be with their clothes still on, his fingers tangling in my hair. He pulled his fingers gently through the strands, breaking his lips away from mine to study them.
“You know you can’t dye your hair until after Blob is born, right?” He grinned mischievously. “I can’t wait to see you with your natural color. Your roots are showing already.”
I scowled at him. “If you’re trying to woo, that is so not the way to go about it.”
His grin turned wicked. “Sure it is,” he said. “Because then I follow it up with this.” Chase dipped his head until his nose was nestled in my hair, his lips inches away from my ear. He inhaled deeply, his fingers curling around the tendrils possessively. His breath tickled the side of my neck when he spoke. “You smell so good,” he murmured. “I wonder what will happen if I kiss you here.”
I gasped as his lips grazed my pulse point. My hold on his shoulders tightened as he punctuated it with another kiss. The rasp of his tongue there forced another gasp from my throat.
“I like that,” Chase mus
ed out loud, “but I wonder what this will do.”
He caught my earlobe between his teeth, biting down before suckling gently. His hips flexed against mine, allowing me to feel that he was just as cranked up as I was. I whimpered, my fingers threading through his curls as he moved lower, his mouth working a burning path down my throat. I tried to bite back another low moan, but it escaped when his hands found their way beneath my shirt, creeping up over my ribs.
“Should I stop?” he asked suddenly, staring up at me. I could tell it took everything in him to hold back, his arms trembling from holding up his weight, his eyes heavy-lidded and filled with lust.
I smiled and tightened my hold on his hair, pulling him back down to me. “I’m already knocked up,” I whispered, returning the favor by pressing a kiss just above his collarbone, “there really isn’t much else you can do.”
Chase breathed a heavy sigh of relief, his hands swiftly gripping the hem of my shirt and pulling it off over my head. “Sure there is,” he whispered, his eyes locked on my pale pink, lace bra, and the soft flesh it concealed. “There’s so much I don’t even know where to start.”
He cupped me, squeezing gently, his thumbs circling and causing the lace to tease my nipples. I couldn’t hold it back this time; his name came on out a breathless cry.
“Chase.”
He grinned, lowering his head and pausing just where the lace met my skin. He glanced up at me through the curls fallen into his eyes. “There,” he said huskily, his breath tickling me through the lace. “Let’s see how many times I can make you do that before the night is over.”
I lost count after seven.
Chapter 8
“This is a newspaper.”
Eyeing Chase over my lunch of fried pickles and curly fries, I raised my eyebrows. “And this is ketchup,” I said, gesturing toward the bottle sitting between me and Jenn on the table. We’d sent the guys on a Hooter’s run and were enjoying a lazy Sunday at home.
Chase plopped the paper down in front of me and pointed. “The Classifieds,” he continued. “Also known as the place where people go to look for jobs. You’re going to need one by the time this month’s allowance runs out.” He frowned at the Hooter’s carryout boxes scattered between us on the table. “And what are you doing eating takeout? I thought we talked about this on the way home, Chloe! Less spending, more saving!”
I covered my fried pickles protectively. “You’re not going to take these away from me, are you?”
He took the chair across from me and snagged a curly fry. “You already paid for it, so no use crying over spilled milk.”
Eyeing the Classifieds, I could feel a cold knot of dread settling low in my gut. None of the jobs were any good, and the only ones I was qualified for were for very little pay. The slim pickings made me want to retreat back to my little cocoon of happiness in that Dallas hotel. If I could have held on to those hours where it was just Chase and me, happy together, I would have done it forever. Anything to keep from thinking about the harsh reality that my life had become. My parents were abandoning me … in a few weeks I was going to be out of money and out of luck.
“You should consider setting up an EBay seller’s account, too,” Chase said, dunking a handful of fries into the ketchup. “You have clothes in your closet with the tags still on them. It could make you enough money to get by until you get your first paycheck.”
I paused, a Ranch dressing-soaked pickle inches from my mouth. “I’d rather sell a kidney,” I growled.
“You may be reduced to that before long,” he warned.
“You should see if the newspaper offices have anything available,” Jenn said between bites of hot wing. “It would look great on your resume.”
I nodded slowly as I went back to eating. “That could be worth looking into,” I relented. The truth was, I didn’t have the slightest notion how to go about getting a job. I’d never worked a day in my life, and had been counting on my mother’s connections to get me onto the Dallas fashion scene and in with La Mode. I didn’t want to say that out loud, though. Considering my situation, it was downright embarrassing to admit I had no job or interview skills.
“Hey guys.”
I glanced up as Luke sauntered in, guitar case slung over one shoulder. Even with his gig at Hole in the Wall, he needed his guitar lessons to help make ends meet. He was just coming from one now.
“Hey,” Chase and I answered in unison.
Jenn didn’t even so much as look at him. Head still lowered over her takeout box, she continued shoving wings down her gullet, pointedly ignoring her boyfriend. I frowned, glancing back and forth between her and Luke.
He rolled his eyes, setting his guitar gently down on the couch in the living room before entering the kitchen. “Jennifer, how long are you going to do this to me?”
If looks could kill, Luke would have been a pile of ash on the linoleum. “I don’t know, Luke,” she answered, her voice harsh and biting. “I’m sure you can find one of your little groupies to console you in the meantime!”
My gaze snapped toward Luke, who was blushing with embarrassment. “It’s not what you think,” he muttered before turning his attention back to Jenn. “Groupies? I think you’re being just a little dramatic.”
Jenn grabbed a handful of wet naps and tore them open, quickly cleaning her hands. “Dramatic, huh? Okay, maybe next weekend when we go to Hole in the Wall, I’ll take off my top and start dancing on tables. When the guys come up for a grope, I’ll just let them all get a handful and we’ll see how you like it.”
“Damn it, Jenn, it’s not the same thing!”
She shot to her feet, tossing her wet naps down onto the table. “Oh yeah, the rules only apply when you’re the lead singer of a band, right?”
“It’s just a performance, it doesn’t mean anything,” Luke argued, running a hand through his hair. “For God’s sake Jenn, I wrote that song about you.”
“And sang it to a bunch of drunk girls who couldn’t keep their hands off your belt buckle!”
Turning on her heels, Jenn stomped off, storming out of the kitchen and heading for the front door. Luke stood to go after her, but I stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.
“Whoa there,” I said, pushing him back into his chair as I stood. “You’re the last person who needs to go after her. You’re in enough trouble as it is, and in typical guy fashion you’re only digging yourself in deeper.”
“But I need to explain—”
“I think I’ve heard enough,” I interjected. “You’re a hot lead singer. Last night’s performance got a little sexy, the girls got handsy, and Jennifer is jealous. Can you blame her?”
Luke huffed, blowing the long strands of his hair out of his face. “I’ve apologized and begged, I’m not sure what else she wants me to do.”
“That’s where I come in. Sit and eat a pickle. No, not from that container those are mine!” Snatching up my box of fried pickles, I turned and left to the two guys at the table.
I found Jenn in her and Luke’s apartment, digging through the freezer for her go-to comfort food: mint chocolate-chip ice cream.
“Got any vanilla in there?” I asked Jenn’s butt as she bent over, rifling through frozen pizza boxes in search of her favorite dessert.
She emerged a few seconds later with two pints. One of them was vanilla. Blob did a little happy dance on my bladder as Jenn opened the container. Shoving it toward me along with a spoon, she cracked into her own pint and started going to town. I let her get a few mouthfuls down before I said anything.
“Okay, spill it,” I said.
“That’s really disgusting.”
Glancing down at the container of pickles next to my ice cream, I shrugged. “This baby is just plain weird,” I remarked, dunking a pickle in Ranch and popping it in my mouth. While chewing, I went for a scoop of ice cream. “But we’re not talking about my problems, we’re talking about yours. What did he do?”
“Nothing, okay?”
I lifted
my eyebrows and gave her a pointed stare. “Right, nothing is what has you all in a lather right now.”
“Look, I’m fully aware of the fact that I’m being irrational. Luke was just being Luke and I—”
“Finally realized how your life is going to be if Luke gets what he wants and becomes famous someday,” I finished for her. “Only on a much larger scale.”
Sighing, Jenn nodded, dropping her spoon onto the counter and lean against it, running a hand through her hair. “I know he’s just performing, and he doesn’t give a shit about some random drunk chick clawing at him, but … Chloe, what if he does start to care? What if all this attention goes to his head? Some of those girls were really gorgeous, and … well, I’m just plain old Jenn.”
“If Luke wanted a different girl, then he’d have one,” I pointed out to her. “He’s crazy about you and everyone knows it. I could see that when I moved in here and saw him making moon eyes at you from across the room. It went on forever before you even realized he was in love with you. Trust me, what you guys have is solid. If the attention starts going to Luke’s head, then beat him with his own guitar. That’ll get his attention.”
Jenn snorted. “I was tempted to do that last night.”
“That bad, huh?”
“There were three of them in the front row, and Luke jumped down off the stage and onto their table.”
I cringed. “Wow.”
“Yeah, that’s when they stood up and started pawing him and salivating like a pack of horny dogs.”
“And of course he did nothing to discourage them.”
Jenn shrugged. “Not exactly. I was mortified.”
“Hmmm, I say you let him dangle a bit before you forgive him. Another day or two of the silent treatment ought to do it. You know, just to drive the message home.”
She grinned. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?”
I polished off the pickles and closed the takeout box, continuing on with the ice cream. “I never get tired of hearing it.”
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