"I don't think that's what your mom meant," I said with a smile.
Jason looked out at Max, picking his way delicately through the snow. "That's too bad. I bet he'd fit right in one of those clown cars."
I laughed and opened the door. Max came stalking in and brushed right past us. I made a note to offer him a treat to make up for my latest transgression.
"You ready for Santa?" I asked, refilling my coffee cup.
Jason made a skeptical face. "I guess. The whole Santa thing is kinda confusing."
I nodded sympathetically.
"But this morning when I came downstairs and saw what the elves had done, I figured there must be a Santa. What's the point of there bein' elves if there ain't no Santa?" he asked logically.
I raised my eyebrows. "Elves came here last night?"
He nodded.
"Show me."
* * * * *
The big grandfather clock in the hallway struck eight; otherwise the house was silent. I assumed The Grands were sleeping off yesterday's happy hour, and The Parents were taking advantage of being off duty a little bit longer. I was a little surprised that Ashley wasn't up yet. I'd hoped a good night's sleep would revive her flagging Christmas spirits.
I followed Jason into the living room and stopped short as I took in the elves' work. The chaos of costumes and set decorations had been transformed into an intimate theatre, complete with two rows of wooden folding chairs placed neatly in front of a raised stage with heavy red curtains attached to a brass and wood frame that fit perfectly in the throughway between the dining room and the living room. Poinsettias ringed the front of the stage, and a cheery fire burned in the giant fireplace.
"Wow." I didn't know what else to say. "Has your mom seen this yet?"
Jason shook his head. "Daddy said to let her rest 'cause she's sad about something. Grown-ups are weird. Who could be sad on Christmas Eve? That's just dumb."
I nodded. My nephew was quite the philosopher. "You didn't happen to see the elves, did you?"
Jason looked at me like I was a dufus. "You can't see elves, Aunt Di. They move too fast."
"Okay, so how do you know the elves did this then?" I know, I know not exactly a reasonable conversation to have with a kid, but I really wanted to know who did this. At this point, my bet was on the ghosts.
"Daddy told me. He was asleep on the couch." Jason pointed to the couch at the far end of the room.
"Your dad was asleep in here this morning?"
"Yep. He didn't actually see the elves 'cause they move so fast, but he said this was elf work." Jason waved his hand at the room.
"It certainly is." The work of a big, goofy elf. Who, up to this point, I hadn't given enough credit.
Jason lost interest in the elf talk and asked if he could give Max a treat. I told him where to find them in the kitchen, and he trotted off happy.
I took off up the stairs and knocked on my sister's door. "There's cereal in the kitchen. Ask your brother to pour your milk," Ashley called automatically through the door.
"Ashley, get your butt down here. We've got a Christmas play in twelve hours. Hippity-ho," I called back.
I heard some grumbling, and then the door opened. Yikes. Morning was not a good look for her. "Go ahead, say something about my hair. I dare you," she growled.
Nope. Not a chance. "Uh, I thought you should see what the elves did downstairs."
She glared at me. "You too? Jason and Justin have been knocking on my door for an hour talking about elves. I don't care about elves. In forty-eight hours this Christmas nightmare will be over. I'm counting the hours, Diana. Counting the hours," she repeated.
She went to close the door, but I stuck my foot in to block her. "I'm not taking 'no' for an answer. You need to see this. Might help you get that antler outta your butt."
"I don't have an antler up my butt. You're the Grinch around here."
"Not anymore. I'm Scrooge on Christmas morning. The spirit is in me, and I'm makin' the most of it." I gave a little hop and made ta-da hands.
She stared at me blankly for a couple of seconds. I was waiting for her to ask me if I was drunk already. "Fine," she said, stomping her foot. "This had better not be one of your lame jokes."
On our way to the stairs, we ran into Dan coming out of the bathroom, looking a little rough around the edges despite being freshly showered. The purple bump on his forehead was almost the same shade as the bags under his eyes.
"Going to see the elves," Ashley said to him.
"Want to join us?" I asked.
"Sure," he replied with a smile. "I heard they were busy last night."
We followed behind Ashley, who was still clad in her fluffy white robe and matching slippers. "Did you see Jake and Victoria this morning?" I asked Dan.
"Yeah. They left around 7:30. Said they were going to Harrisburg to do some last minute shopping and have lunch."
"Good for them. They need a break from this bunch of crazies."
"Oh-my-God!" Ashley shrieked when she walked into the living room. "Who did this?" She spun towards us.
"I heard it was elves," I said, adding, "but I suspect it was just one big elf."
Ashley's face had transformed into radiant love. "You did this, Dan? But how? Where did all this come from?" She stepped onto the raised stage and looked back at us.
Dan shrugged. "I was cleaning up the mess in here after everyone went to bed last night. Thinkin' that was the least I could do seein' how you've done so much. And I looked around the room and saw this in my mind. This." He pointed to the transformed room. "But like it might've looked a hundred years ago. Then I thought, maybe they used to use this room for recitals an' stuff back when there wasn't TV to keep you entertained. An' if they did, then maybe there was something leftover in the attic."
So that explained all the bumps in the night. Dan was digging through the attic across the hall from my room all night. "You found all this in the attic?"
"I know," he agreed. "Crazy, huh? It was like I'd just think of what I needed for the room, and I would see it sittin' back in the corner of the attic."
Ask and yea shall receive. It was Christmas after all.
Ashley practically leapt off the stage and into his arms. "You're the best husband ever!" she cried and kissed him.
"There's one more thing," Dan said shyly. "Hey Sis, can you hit the play button on the stereo?"
I walked over to the stereo and pushed the button. The music was cued to the song "The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing." In the movie this was the big dance scene between Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen.
"I've been practicing," Dan said as he grabbed Ashley around her waist and started off with a slow waltz to the music.
As the tempo picked up, he spun her around a few times and mimicked a few of the signature moves. I watched my sister in her fuzzy white robe get swept off her feet by her husband of nearly ten years. I suddenly felt a longing for a relationship with this kind of staying power. A real relationship. The kind where it didn't matter if you were wearing your robe or had a big purple knot on your forehead, because once you were in your partner's arms you were transformed into Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen, forever young and beautiful.
Dan dipped Ashley as the music ended, and I clapped enthusiastically. Dan looked a little embarrassed, but Ashley was over the moon. She gave him another kiss and me a big smile.
"Does this mean the play is back on?" I teased.
Ashley looked around the room, taking it all in. "You better believe it! And we've got a lot of work to do."
I could see her mind working through all the things on her list. Okay, I was committed to making my sister's Christmas play dreams come true. "So give me my marching orders."
"Well, since you're volunteering…" she said slowly, "maybe you could be in charge of rehearsing with The Grands."
Oh, man. This Christmas spirit thing was harder than it looked. The movies didn't do it justice. I hoped there was fresh eggnog in the fridge.
/> CHAPTER ELEVEN
Rehearsing with The Grands was like trying to herd a bunch of cats. Old, hung-over, cranky cats. But by the time we broke for lunch, I had them all dressed appropriately in their Army costumes and performing the "Gee I Wish I Was Back in the Army" dance number with enthusiasm if not accuracy. I even rigged a disguise for Aunt Pearl's walker by using brown tweed fabric over a square laundry basket to make it look like she was leaning on a crate. If the musician thing didn't work out, maybe I could go to work for Martha Stewart.
I was munching on a delicious turkey and Gouda cheese sandwich and watching the kids play on the hill behind the house with a sled. Max sat at my feet trying to hypnotize me into giving him a bite.
Ashley breezed in, saying, "I just got a text from Victoria saying something's come up, and they won't be back until later this evening."
"Probably on their way to Jamaica. Re-thinking the whole good ol' fashioned family Christmas." I stuffed the rest of my sandwich in my mouth. Max gave me a disgusted look and jumped up onto the window seat next to the kitchen table.
"I texted her back, asking if anything was wrong, and she replied that everything was fine and they'd see us around six." Ashley sighed. "I just don't want them missing the play. It would be a shame since they're really the reason we're even able to do it."
"So that means we're in charge of dinner," I said with a shudder. I was not the world's greatest cook. A few pasta dishes using sauce from a jar was about my limit. The thought of trying to make dinner for this crew was daunting.
Ashley put my fears to rest. "Like anybody'd ask you to cook." She made a face. "Mom and Anne are picking up lasagna, salad and bread from the Olive Garden on the highway after they're finished shopping."
Ah, saved by take-out.
"Your dog looks like he wants to go out," Ashley commented. "I'm not sure I've actually seen his tail wag before."
Sure enough Max's usually stationary curled up tail was wagging furiously. My first thought was he must have spied a squirrel. I followed his line of sight to the kids sledding down the hill.
"Do you want to go outside, boy?"
He barked and ran to the door, jumping up and almost touching the door knob. I opened it, and he raced over to the kids. Jason was pulling the sled back up the hill.
I stepped outside and cupped my hands over my mouth. "Jason!" I called. "Can Max have a ride on the sled?"
Max had reached the kids and was slogging his way up the hill behind them. "Sure," he called back. "But he ain't got hands, how we gonna keep him on the sled?"
He had a point. "Try holding him on your lap in front of you," I called back.
Jason shrugged and continued up the hill. I stepped back inside.
"This ought to be good," I said, joining Ashley at the bay window.
"If your dog bites one of my kids, I'm biting you," she warned.
"Wow, that's mature, Ashley."
"Just sayin'," she retorted. "I don't trust that dog. He's weird."
We watched as Jason sat down in the front of the oversized sled and positioned Max on his lap. Max put his paws on the curled up plastic edge in front of him. Tiffany climbed on next with Justin giving the sled a push as he jumped on last.
And they were off! Flying down the hill. Max looked like the captain at the front of a ship with his paws braced against the ledge. His long ears and hair were flying out behind him; his curled upper lip made him look like he was wearing a big crooked grin.
"Now I've seen everything," Ashley remarked.
They reached the bottom with a splash of snow and all toppled off. Jason leapt off the sled and raced to the door.
Ashley walked over and opened the kitchen door. "Did you see that Mom?" he shouted. "Max can ride a sled!"
"I saw. Really cool," Ashley responded in her mom voice. "Are you guys getting too cold?"
"No way!"
I pulled on a pair of boots next to the door and grabbed my cell phone. "Jason, see if Max will do it again, and I'll get a video." There was YouTube gold in them there hills!
"Will do, Aunt Di." He raced back outside and rounded up the troops. They started the climb back up the hill with Max following happily behind.
When I came back in from filming two trips down the hill, I found an audience huddled around the bay window.
"That's some dog ya got there," Granddaddy Hacker said. "Seems like he's done it before."
Granddad nodded in agreement. "Where'd he learn to sled?'
I shrugged. "No idea. I got him from the SPCA a couple of years ago. He was a stray."
"Bet that dog used to be in the pictures," Aunt Pearl said. "Got that look about him."
Everyone murmured their agreement. I guess that's an upgrade from circus dog.
A half hour later the gang came in looking for hot chocolate and cookies. Max got a treat and good rub down with a towel. And I was off to practice the "Sisters" act in full costume with Ashley. Ugh!
I was feeling pretty good about my routine with Ashley after an hour of surprisingly fun sister-togetherness. We might not be Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen, but we weren't too shabby either.
I was still dressed in my costume when the doorbell rang. The final dress rehearsal was in fifteen minutes, and I was in charge of rounding up Grands while Ashley and Dan put the finishing touches on the stage.
I opened the door to find a tall, handsome man dressed in a dark suit custom tailored to fit his large frame. My first thought was, Wow, now we're talkin'! But then I recognized the twinkling blue eyes.
"Kyle?"
He laughed. "I knew you wouldn't recognize me without the beard. And judging from the look on your face, it's a good thing I didn't look like this the first time you opened the door or I'da had a hard time explainin' things to Lindsey."
He was probably right, but I wasn't going to let on. "You clean up nice," was all I said.
Ashley clapped her hands in excitement when we walked into the living room. "OMG! You look fantastic! I was so worried you wouldn't make it over." Ashley rushed over and gave him a hug.
Kyle leaned down to return it, saying, "Wouldn't have missed it. Lindsey will be here for the play too." His broad smile said more than any words could.
"I'm so glad it worked out." I patted his arm.
"I've got you to thank," he said turning towards me. "If it wasn't for her bein' jealous, she might still be pouting in Philly, waiting for me to get a clue and come get her." He shook his head at the fickleness of women.
On this point, I had to agree. Lindsey was one of the more stubborn examples of womankind I'd seen.
"I'm just glad you're happy."
Kyle glanced around the room and whistled. "Nice. Who did all this?"
"Elves," I replied.
"You don't say?" he looked around in wonder.
Talk about gullible. "It wasn't actually elves. It was Ashley's husband Dan." Which, come to think of it, was more amazing than elves.
"Didn't really think so, but you never know around this place. Things have been pretty strange around here." Kyle raised his eyes to the ceiling and pointed up.
I nodded. "Can't argue with that."
* * * * *
We had just finished stuffing ourselves with lasagna when my mom commented on Victoria and Jake's absence. The snow had started again, and even in their four-wheel drive truck it wasn't easy to navigate the steep driveway in the dark.
"Hope they didn't run out on us." She was joking, but we all secretly wondered if the joke wasn't on us. We certainly hadn't been model houseguests.
"Two hours before show time," Ashley said. "They sure are cutting it close." She glanced nervously in the direction of the make-shift stage on the other side of the enormous dining room.
"Well, it's been quite a day for them," Mammaw said softly. "I wish we could have had everything ready."
We all looked over at her. "Why do you say that, Mother?" Dave asked.
She smiled. "Why it's not every day you get—" she paused.
"Get what, Mother?" Dave prodded. My mom raised her eyes heavenward and took a gulp of wine. I think she'd had it with all the communications with the dead.
Mammaw stood and tottered over to the door to the hallway. She held up a finger and seemed to listen for something down the hallway. She turned to us and said, "It's time!" She clapped her hands together excitedly.
"Time for what?" I asked.
"Please don't encourage her," Ashley warned.
"The second miracle is here," she said and headed for the front door.
We looked at each other. "I thought this would've made it the third," Dan said rubbing his chin and counting on his fingers. "Granddad not havin' cancer and Kyle getting his wife back."
"No, dear," Mammaw replied, "Kyle isn't our kin."
"Oh, good grief," Ashley said and followed her. A few seconds later, she called, "It's just Jake and Victoria."
"Thank the Lord," Aunt Pearl cried, standing up and heading for the hallway. "I've been in a fit worrying about those two. I've got half a mind to give them the rough side of my tongue. Who goes tramping off all day on Christmas Eve?"
The rest of us were clearing the table when Ashley's voice rang out, "Oh, my God!"
Mammaw said clearly, "I tried to tell you, dear."
We all raced down the hallway. Ashley was staring out the window, saying, "Oh, my God," over and over.
"What now?" my father demanded.
Ashley snapped out of it. "Don't just stand there, Diana. Get the door."
Why was I always the one getting the door? I liked a miracle as much as the next person, but I was starting to feel like a doorman for the dearly departed. And frankly, I was getting a little freaked out by it all.
The wind came in with a rush as I opened the door. The lights flickered, and the fire flared in the living room. Everyone gasped as the door flew open.
Standing in the doorway was Victoria and Jake and in their arms, wrapped in a light blue blanket, was miracle number two.
* * * * *
It took nearly an hour for things to calm down. The couple who were supposed to adopt baby Matthew had backed out suddenly, leaving the social worker assigned to the case scrambling for a suitable couple on Christmas Eve. Luckily for Victoria and Jake, their lawyer was a former classmate of the social worker and had helped her in emergency situations in the past. When he'd called Jake and Victoria while they were having lunch and asked them to come down to his office, they'd been stunned. After all the time they'd spent waiting, they were caught off guard and had to scramble for supplies on their way to meet the social worker.
Queenie Baby: Pass the Eggnog Page 8