by N. M. Browne
The men who’d trained with Ursula laughed at Rhonwen outright. The servant turned Ursula to face the assembled warriors for them to judge for themselves. There was a general foot-stamping, spear-banging assent to Ursula’s masculinity. Several men began to make vulgar remarks concerning Rhonwen’s experience of men but were inhibited by Macsen’s icy glare.
Rhonwen stood up. Her green eyes flashed from within the silver of her impassive mask.
‘I am a priestess of the new magic and I say this is an illusion.’ If she was trying to prove it, she had no impact. Ursula remained a solid muscular male presence. She was unperturbed by Rhonwen’s accusation. Was she even aware of it? Ursula seemed unlike herself in every way. Dan did not know what to do. Had Ursula always been a boy even at school? He thought back. Ursula was a girl in his own world of that he was sure. Here? Here he was sure of nothing. He remembered the stubble on Ursula’s face when he kissed her and lapsed into confusion.
The room was in uproar. Respect for Macsen kept the laughter low but there was still a certain amount of spear banging and wisecracking among the warriors. Good mead was flowing and the warriors were in celebratory mood. The Combrogi had respect for their own rituals but Rhonwen’s claim was too outrageous to be taken seriously. Kai was whispering to Rhonwen to sit down. The bard, who was seated nearby, had his hands clamped to his ears and was grimacing horribly. Kai looked uncomfortable. Rhonwen seemed intent on revealing what would not be revealed. She raised her arms as if to invoke powerful magic, then unexpectedly turned and ran from the room.
Silence descended on the assembly.
Macsen took control.
‘We are here to accept the oaths of Ursula Alavna ab Helen, known as Boar Skull, and Daniel Alavna ab George, known as The Bear Sark. Do you accept them as warriors of our people?’
There was a general roar of assent and Ursula and Dan bound themselves once again to a fight that was not theirs.
Chapter Eighteen
Dan steeled himself not to flinch as Macsen signalled for the tattoos to be drawn on the exposed skin of the new warriors. Quite what his father would make of Combrogi body art on his return home he could not guess. He saw Rhodri, the tribal artist, out of the corner of his eye. He was checking the point on an evil-looking needle in readiness for his work. He reached forward to begin engraving Ursula’s forearm. As his hand brushed her flesh, he cried out and leaped backwards with a curse.
‘By Lugh! He’s on fire!’ He was breathing hard. When he raised his fingers to show Macsen there were raw red weals on his fingertips. His fingers were burned.
Ursula did not appear to have noticed. She did not move. Her face remained totally expressionless. She was as still as a rock. There was a smell of scorched flesh. Standing next to her Dan was suddenly aware of the dry heat emanating from her. What was going on now?
‘Don’t touch him!’ The bard pushed his way to Macsen’s side. ‘I have heard of this happening. It is a kind of a fever – it will burn anyone who goes near him. Get him out into the cold. It is all you can do.’
The bard’s voice was pitched low so as not to disturb the revellers in the Hall. Few people were still watching the ritual tattooing. It was a slow and lengthy process, a craftsman’s work not a spectator sport. Most of the men were busying themselves with serious drinking. King Cadal and Queen Usca were deep in conversation. Macsen nodded tersely.
‘The light is better in my chamber, Rhodri, we will continue this work there!’ Macsen’s voice was deliberately loud. There was some good-natured hissing and jibing at this unconventional move, but no one took a lot of notice.
The problem was to get Boar Skull out of the Hall. Ursula was totally unresponsive.
‘Ursula!’
Not by the flicker of an eyelash did she indicate that she had heard.
Kai silently passed Dan his clothes.
‘Make a show of putting these on. Keep Boar Skull from view,’ he mumbled. Then Kai unsheathed his sword. Dan’s heart leaped. His own hand was on Bright Killer’s hilt.
‘Easy Bear Sark! I’ll not hurt him but I’m not such a fool as to touch him with my bare hands.’
Kai prodded Ursula lightly with the flat of his sword. The heat it conducted made him curse and wrap the hilt in Boar Skull’s cloak. Ursula responded by moving forward. Unfortunately, for ease of defence there was only one entrance to the Great Hall. It was at the other end of the Hall. Macsen and the bard moved with one accord. The bard unslung his small harp from his back and began a popular ballad to an heroic ancestor of Macsen’s. Macsen fell in behind him. Kai tried to steer Boar Skull to follow. She moved grudgingly, with the distracted look of a sleepwalker. Dan made an elaborate show of struggling into his garments to attempt to disguise Kai’s actions from anyone interested enough to be bemused. Braveheart, Bryn and Rhodri completed the procession. Dan felt more than a little ridiculous but it got them out of the overcrowded Hall. The cool silence of the courtyard had never been more welcome. In the darkness, Ursula glowed with a red heat. Dan found he was trembling. It must have been shock.
Macsen was disturbed.
‘Bard, Kai, what is going on? What caused my sister to act like that? And what is wrong with Boar Skull? I need Rhonwen to cement the alliance with Cadal. I do not have time for whatever this is.’
‘There was a battle.’ It was the soft low voice of the bard. ‘This young warrior is in truth a young woman and a powerful magician; more powerful than Rhonwen. Rhonwen tried to reveal the illusion. She could not because it is not an illusion. This woman has made herself a man. Only she can undo what she has done. It is an astonishing feat of power. Rhonwen tried to enter this one’s mind. You have well named her Boar Skull. She is too strong. Magic is all Rhonwen has now. She cannot bear to be weaker than a girl, an outlander.’
The bard paused. Kai nodded.
‘The bard speaks truly. I believe he is right. I could not have said it so well. I sometimes … feel the magic. This is no illusion. Boar Skull is a man but by will not nature.’
Dan nodded. ‘She was a girl in my world. She copied you, Kai. She tried to look like you so no one would send her with the women. She did not want to be a wife or a mother. She was afraid.’
Kai grinned and glanced at Ursula’s sculpted semi-naked form. ‘I think she flatters me.’
Macsen looked thoughtful. He did not register any surprise. ‘If she has the gift of making things really change, not just seem changed, we need her more as a magician than we ever would a warrior. It is a hard power to master, as Rhonwen will tell you. What of this fever? Is that born of magic too? Do what you can for this warrior maid. I have to return to the Hall. This is a crucial moment for our plans. I have to persuade the tribal leaders that our only hope is to unite against the Ravens. Is there any news of Lud of the Brigantes?’
Kai shook his head. Macsen sighed. ‘We need the Brigante tribe. They have more warriors than any other and they understand how the Ravens fight.’
‘They ought to, they’ve fought for their interests often enough.’ Kai’s response was tart.
Macsen shot him a warning look and headed back into the Hall.
The warrior maid stood naked and unmoving where Kai had left her. It must have been November, though the Combrogi did not call it that. It was cold. The sea mist that shrouded Craigwen at this time of year made it seem colder still. Dan shivered. The red glow from Ursula’s body began to fade.
‘What happened to her?’ Dan asked.
The bard answered distractedly. ‘The fever? Oh, that is nothing, she overreached her power, that is all. She changed her true form and repelled Rhonwen’s attempt to coerce her. It happened to the druids sometimes. That will not harm her. It is the shock that worries me, the fact that she does not know where she is. The fact that she hasn’t spoken.’
‘Can we take him – er … her inside now?’ Kai’s voice was anxious. The moment the red glow faded from Ursula’s skin he threw his cloak round her. ‘We don’t want his death from expo
sure. It’s a raw night tonight,’ he explained to no one in particular. The bard nodded. Kai guided Ursula’s still uncooperative form into Macsen’s chamber.
Dan wanted to touch her. He wanted to shake her. He needed to try and bring her back from wherever she’d gone. She had brought him out of his madness. He must find a way to do the same for her. He could not lose her as he had lost his mother. He had been too young to save his mother. He could not protect Lizzie any more. He had to be able to save Ursula. She was lost, he knew. She did not know what she had done. Poor Ursula.
Dan sat down heavily on the pallet heaped with furs that was Macsen’s bed.
‘Have you ever known anyone go into a shock like this?’
Kai seemed very upset. ‘It happened with the other outlanders. Once or twice after we tried the Cup of Belonging. They could not accept that they were not where they belonged. They reacted like this and usually died before many nights. They would not eat or drink and we could not help them. I would not have had this happen to Boar Skull.’
The bard had strapped his harp on his back the minute they had left the Hall. He wore it like others wore their shields. He unstrapped it again.
‘I may be able to get through to her. I have a magic of my own. She recognised it.’
He began to play. The tune seemed vaguely familiar to Dan, though he could not identify it. It soothed the tension from his strained limbs. It loosened the taut muscles of his neck and shoulders. It wound itself round his heart-strings and made him want to cry. He could not manage here without Ursula. She was his rock in his madness. He lurched across the small room towards her. He began to whisper to her. He held her stiff hand and murmured.
‘It’s OK, Ursula. Everything will be OK. Come back, Ursula. I need you here. You bound yourself by oath, remember. You said you’d fight for me, Ursula, and get me home. A promise binds in this world, you said so.’ Dan felt a slight movement in Ursula’s stiff hand. The music kept to its hypnotic pattern, swirling around with all the complexity of a Celtic design. It was like a design carved in sound, a mandala, forcing his thoughts into a pattern. It was pushing him towards that other place, the place he did not want to go. It was taking him to the cold place. He was slipping into it. Ursula!
‘Dan!’ It was Ursula’s voice. Her strong hands were at his shoulders, shaking him. ‘Don’t you dare turn bear sark!’
He almost cried with relief. She knew him. She was all right.
He shook himself. The music had stopped. Kai was looking at Ursula with undisguised relief.
‘Boar Skull, are you all right?’
‘Yes. I wasn’t. It was awful.’ Ursula sounded frightened. ‘I was in this numbing, grey place but Dan was turning bear sark and he called to me.’ She paused and sighed, shakily. ‘Ages ago I promised him I would fight for him. When I said it I was thinking about helping fight the madness when it comes and he doesn’t want it. I remembered the promise and then the greyness went and I was back, here. I’m all right now, I think. I’m cold.’ Rhodri passed her a drinking horn of warm mead. For once the sweetness was welcome. She was helped to the warmth of the bed. Kai had a quiet word with the bard and with Rhodri and Bryn. What had happened to Boar Skull was not to be talked about. No one argued and they left. People didn’t argue with Kai.
‘Ursula, they know.’ Dan sat with her, almost overcome with relief that she was no longer stone.
‘Know what?’
‘Know that you’ve made yourself a man.’
‘Oh that.’ She said it coolly as if the discovery had not thrown her into a near catatonic state.
‘It was a bit of a shock,’ she smiled weakly. ‘I didn’t know I could do that and worse I didn’t know that I had done it. Rhonwen tried to reveal me but she couldn’t. She wasn’t very happy about it. Where is she? My headache’s gone, has she?’
‘She ran out. Ursula, can you make yourself a girl again?’ Dan’s voice was anxious.
‘Why?’ Ursula’s voice was flat.
Dan was taken aback. ‘Well I just …’
‘I’d like to bathe and just relax for a minute. Does Macsen know?’
Dan nodded.
‘He’s not going to send me to Ireland?’
Kai interrupted. ‘If you are stronger than Rhonwen, the King will not have you out of his sight. His family has paid dearly for the power of the new magic. He wants a say in the use of it. He will find a way to use you and your magic.’
Ursula nodded wearily, though Dan was sure she had as little idea of what Kai was talking about as he did. She dragged herself to her feet. She had made herself into an Adonis of a man. She wrapped herself in the ritual garments unself-consciously and headed for the bathhouse alone.
‘What do you mean “paid dearly for the power of the new magic”?’ Dan asked.
Kai sighed. ‘Bear Sark, I am unused to women becoming men and nearly dying in the process. I am going to sit here quietly with my drink. Strange things often happen at Samhain but it is some time since I have seen anything as strange as this.’ He noticed the worry in Dan’s face.
‘Don’t look so apprehensive. I don’t think what happened to Lovernios, Macsen’s brother, has anything to do with Ursula, but ask the bard. I only know that after the Ravens killed most of the druids, there was some attempt to perform the most powerful ritual. Lovernios was involved. Macsen won’t speak of it.’
It was at that moment that Ursula returned. She had emerged from the bathhouse a different person. Both of them stared at her silently.
‘What?’ She had blushed scarlet at their attention. She had lost the incredible musculature, though she was still strong-looking for a woman. Her face had softened. The angles were as sharp, the high cheekbones, the jaw, but she looked different, prettier. The body wrapped in the ritual white-bleached tunic was definitely female. Dan and Kai both looked embarrassed.
Kai leapt to his feet. ‘I should get you something else to wear, Ursula.’ The name came uncomfortably to his tongue. He had only ever called her Boar Skull.
‘Kai, I’m still Boar Skull. I can go back to being a man again if it’s easier. I know what I did to make it happen. I willed it so. I was desperate to be a successful warrior and to be strong. I can will it again, if you want it. I can will lots of things now.’
Ursula closed her eyes and in front of Kai and Dan transformed herself into an exceptionally pretty redhead, with a cascade of shoulder-length hair. The face remained Ursula’s, just plumper. The expression in her green eyes was wicked. Kai looked very uncomfortable. Dan was simply staggered. When Dan recovered his equanimity he was struck by a sudden thought.
‘Ursula, didn’t you used to have blue eyes?’
‘Of course. I still have.’
Staring into her emerald eyes as strangely-coloured as Rhonwen’s, Dan found himself quite unable to argue.
Chapter Nineteen
Dan went in search of the bard to thank him for helping to recover Ursula. He was vaguely conscious that he had been skilfully manipulated into almost turning bear sark. Somehow the bard had realised that Ursula would respond to Dan’s need if not to her own. It was strange. Ursula’s face gave so little away. Dan sometimes doubted that she even liked him and yet it was her loyalty to him that had been strong enough to save her. Ursula confused and bemused him at every turn. He had to get away from her for a while. She was trying out a variety of female forms to the amusement of Kai. She did not seem able to make herself physically smaller but she was perfectly capable of changing shape quite dramatically. Dan found it hard to recognise his mate Ursula in the various female guises that had appeared in front of his eyes. He did not like what those forms made him feel. He did not want to feel those things for Ursula, or maybe he did. He was confused. He had grown to rely on Boar Skull, his training partner, his friend. He hadn’t thought too much about Boar Skull’s gender, it hadn’t mattered. He was disturbed to find it mattering a lot.
In the Hall Macsen was receiving oaths of allegiance from other tribal le
aders. The drinking horns still circulated and there was a notable mellowing of mood. Gwyn and Prys stood behind Macsen as bodyguard. There was no sign of Rhonwen, though Cadal still sat next to Queen Usca on Macsen’s couch. The bard was tuning his harp alone at one side of the room. Dan was greeted and welcomed by several warriors as he made his way towards the bard. ‘The Bear Sark is it? I hear you are quite a fighter. We’ll have to test you against my champion here one of these days.’
‘Bear Sark, drink with us. Now you’re a warrior you’ll have to learn to drink like one.’
‘Ah, it’s our tame madman. Well done, Bear Sark, we’re glad to have you with us!’
‘What, no tattoos yet? What is that fool Rhodri thinking of? You’ve earned them. Make sure he doesn’t forget to do them. The old ways are still worth something.’
Dan was comforted by the warmth that engulfed him. The older grizzled warriors greeted him as a high-achieving nephew. Rhodri and Caradoc were as pleased by his new status as if Dan were their own brother. They were proud of him and it was a good feeling. He reached the bard after much hearty back-patting and arm-clasping. He felt quite choked by it. His own family, well, his own father anyway, had not been in much of a state to praise him for a long time. If it were not for the painful thought of his sister, Lizzie, who needed him, and whom he had abandoned, he would have been happy to stay with these hard-living barbarians. The Combrogi knew death waited for them, was never further than a sword’s blow away. Because of that they made every second count. Emotion was never far below the surface. What they felt they acted upon.
The bard looked up at him expectantly. Dan spoke. ‘I came to thank you for bringing Ursula back. I owe you a debt, if my sword can serve you?’ It was the way they said things here, but the bard held him back with an admonishing hand.
‘You are already too many times oath-bound, Daniel. It is no wonder you can only be free in your madness. I want no oath from you. You have already given the only oath that counts to the Combrogi. I am not like Ursula. I can weave only simple magics but I can see what I can see. You and she could save us. There is a deep bond between you. Together you amount to something, something that might save us. If only you stay together. She has mastered the magic of her own body. Not even the druids could do that. It is time she tried to change the world.’