by Zoey Ellis
The worse thing about it was that she truly did want more. A wild, animalistic core deep within her wanted him more than she had ever wanted anything else. That part of her reveled in his scent, that part of her moaned when she licked the sweat that dripped from his neck, that part of her loved the feel of him on her and cuddled into him hoping he wouldn't leave, and that part of her itched to fix the blankets and bedding into a cocoon around them as it was supposed to be. She couldn't understand it. This was a man she hated. What had changed? Surely the increase in the strength of his scent couldn't be the reason? It was possible he was using magic to force her to want him, to soften to her so she would answer his continuous questions that she ignored, but she wouldn't allow herself to be fooled so easily. The only thing she knew that was real was his purr. The older Omegas back at the Omega Compound had talked about it fondly and she now knew why. It was beautiful. The rumble of its vibration relaxed every muscle in her body and calmed her emotions and mind when she agonized over her situation. Even though he used it to calm her when she became restless, at least she knew it was real, unlike everything else.
Malloron continued to question her directly into her mind, but Amara didn't respond. What was the point? He had her the way he wanted her, she had tried to escape him and she failed. He could do what he wanted, and she would take it. She deserved it for being such a shit spy and endangering the lives of the people that had placed their trust in her. He might be able to force incredible orgasms out of her, and have her behave as though he was the best thing in all the Lands, but she would always hate him. And she refused to engage in any kind of conversation with him to sate his need to have verbal or mental combat with her. She wouldn't do it.
And so they simply existed.
He lay with her constantly, fucking her, purring for her, feeding her, and washing her, and she let him do it. She kept her mind blank whenever she could, withdrawing from all vibration, not seeking to focus on any one thing in particular. There was once when she unconsciously pulled on the blankets around them, focusing on them as she tried to fix them. Instantly, they materialized in her mind’s eye and she froze for a moment before laying still. She didn’t want to be engaged in anything. She didn’t want to “see” anything. So she stayed distant, drifting in a void of white nothingness.
She had no idea how long they existed like that. Time was irrelevant—this was her life now, after all. But soon she noticed the frustration entering his tone. He was becoming impatient with her. She didn’t give a fuck.
"You are not even trying,” he growled, after a while. "I need to know how you are experiencing the tenebris if I am going to try to fix things.”
His words slipped over her and into the void. She didn't know what he was talking about, but she didn't care. Everything that came out of his mouth was lies.
"Amara!”
She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, willing his voice away but knowing she would never really escape it. He was stronger than her; he had proved that.
Suddenly she felt a slight jerk in his shoulders, and after a long moment, he got up off the bed. She breathed a sigh of relief and curled up on her side. Everything was still and calm, and she smiled to herself, glad for the peace.
But after a while, a strange longing seeped into her, scratching away at her will and drawing on memories of the Alpha. She grabbed at the blankets and hugged them tight, trying to ignore it, but the blankets couldn't replace his hard, muscled mass, his potent scent, or his soothing purr. She trembled and fidgeted on the bed, tossing and turning trying to find the right position to calm the intense craving burning her inside. Where the fuck was he? Why had he left for so long?
She shook her head sharply, shocked at herself. She did not need him. Clutching onto her blankets, she repeated it like a mantra, trying to think of anything else but him.
It didn't work.
By the time he returned, she was almost crazed. Her nipples were already hard, the scent of her slick filled the room and made her thighs slippery, her nose needed his neck so badly, and nothing she did quenched the desire. The yearning for him seized every part of her body and mind. He seemed to be in the same state because he yanked her legs open and plunged his hard length deep into her before she even had time to register his presence.
He fucked her with an urgency that she hadn't felt from him before. He didn't even restrain her; his hands were all over her, rubbing her stomach, squeezing her breasts, and cupping her ass. Her eyes rolled at the sweet ecstasy that embraced her. She gripped onto his thick arms, digging her nails in as his hips battered her, jolting her whole body.
"I fucking missed you, chameleon.”
She could sense the ferocity of his need for her, and that animalistic core deep inside her preened in satisfaction. This was how it was supposed to be. She spread her knees wider as his thick cock stretched her, sinking deep with every merciless slam. His savagery seared through every part of her, sating her pining and heightening the blissful sensations ripping her apart.
"You’re made for me,” he grunted. "This beautiful face, this shapely body, that naive heart of yours… it’s all mine. It has always been mine, you just have to accept it.”
She moaned and jerked her hips up to meet his, feeling that she was mumbling incoherently even though she couldn't hear herself.
Screams tore from her chest when she came. They were silent for her, but they existed in the harsh burn from her chest and the raw feel of her throat. The euphoria that enveloped her was too much. She twisted and turned and fought from under him, but ultimately she couldn't escape the sensations, or him. As her pleasure abated, he slammed his knot into her, and his body dropped on top of hers.
She pressed her nose to his sweaty neck as she panted, breathing him in, glad to finally have him. He tucked his arms under her body and held her tight against him, his purr beginning again but this time low and subdued. The heat of his body, the security of his hold, and his deepened scent lulled her into a drowsy daze, and before she drifted to sleep, his voice glided into her mind, low and affirming.
"I cannot be without you, Amara.”
***
As time passed, Amara’s mood lowered, sinking lower and deeper into a confusing blend of despair and guilt. With every orgasm she lost herself in, every sigh she exhaled when she found satisfaction in anything King Malloron did, and every murmur of contentment against his neck when that deep part of her insisted she was where she belonged, she could not help but hate herself a little more each time. This was supposed to be a punishment, she was not supposed to enjoy it. The rest of the Omegas that remained in the castle who were not part of her team had been left without Kekia and the children had no hope whatsoever unless the Mothers decided to do something drastic. Many had been impacted by her failure and yet she indulged in raw carnality. It was obvious that King Malloron would use her in this way, but she didn't have to take so much pleasure in it.
The guilt dug into her until she couldn't bear to even think anymore. The pleasure that the Alpha wrecked on her body helped her to avoid too much reflection, but soon she didn't even want to experience that. Desperate, she pulled her mind away from him, away from the experiences her body was going through and focused inward.
The energy inside her that had felt so vibrant and alive when she had been traveling over the Western Lands, the energy that had broken into a thousand daggers by the Alpha, was still inside her, but felt stiff and unyielding. As she turned her mind inward to focus on it, she realized it was very similar to the mass of magic out in the Lands, except it was more concentrated. It did not seem to observe her or even notice her the way the magic did. It seemed to be completely unresponsive and cut off from everything.
As she kept her attention on it, everything from the outside faded. She held her focus until all sensations were greatly muted. She could no longer scent the Alpha so strongly or feel him against her skin. The longer she held her mind inward, the easier it became to disengage from him in every way
.
She sighed as the pressure of guilt lifted from her chest. Although she felt no experience of life at all, this was a much more fitting existence for her. It was the closest to death she could get and what she deserved. She reveled in the nothingness, in the absence of everything, and allowed her mind to drift.
CHAPTER SEVEN
MALLORON
Malloron’s concern for Amara spiraled into pure panic within a few hours. She suddenly stopped responding to him. No matter what he did, she lay limp and disengaged. She no longer sighed or moaned or murmured. She no longer touched him, pressed her lips and nose against his neck, or rotated her hips underneath him. She did not respond to restraint or his mouth on her or his cock inside her. It was as though she was drained of all life.
When he checked her, her pulse was weak and the tenebris was barely detectable. He couldn't understand it. They had gone from being completely unable to be away from each other for more than a few hours to a total disconnection between them. Something had happened and he couldn't understand what it was.
After she had remained in this state for an entire day, he sought to do something about it.
He wove numerous spells to secure the room and then charged to his temple to find a solution. During the two weeks since Amara awoke from her comatose slumber, Malloron hadn't been able to search for the book. He hadn't wanted to leave her. He didn't have the willpower to walk away from his Omega when she was so enticingly beautiful and sexy. He also sensed that she needed him, needed the connection with him in order to improve, but now she had worsened.
He searched through the wreck that still remained in his temple, trying to find the book as quickly as possible, but the broken glass and splattering of the dangerous potions forced him to slow down. He wouldn't be able to find the book in this mess unless it was cleaned up, and he was the only one who could do it. He couldn’t allow anyone else in the room, and yet the idea of spending hours cleaning and tidying the temple, hours away from his Omega, seemed torturous. He couldn't do it, not while she remained in that state.
He spent as long as he could trying to find the one piece of parchment that had anything related to the tenebris on it. The more he searched, the more he wondered why he had not realized there could be more to the tenebris than he was aware of. The page had clearly been sewn into the book; it didn't belong there. Why had he not thought of it before? An odd little niggling inside him suggested that he had been too eager, too persistent in trying to find a solution to his problem that he had not noticed the obvious signs in front of him. He brushed that feeling away quickly.
A knock on the door disturbed his reflection.
"What is it now?" he asked Emric, who stood hovering from one foot to the other outside.
"I know it has been two weeks, Your Majesty," he said apologetically, “but I still haven't been able to find anything about Gammas and their potential heat. There is nothing in the library, nothing in any of the documents that might hold the information."
Malloron tried to think of somewhere else Emric could look but his mind kept going back to Amara. He exhaled heavily, turning around to look at the mess of the room behind him. Then glanced back at Emric.
"You have been working for me for how long, Emric?" Malloron asked slowly.
Emric clasped his hands and smiled. "Twenty-four years, Your Majesty."
"And all that time you have remained loyal to me, and me alone, is that correct?"
"Yes, Your Majesty."
"Why?"
Emric stared up at him, shock clear on his face. "What do you mean, Your Majesty? You are our king. Why wouldn't I be?"
"You were loyal to me even when my father was the ruling king," Malloron pointed out. "You even went against his instructions sometimes to follow mine. Why did you do that? Was it to secure your role as my assistant?"
"No, Your Majesty." Emric paused, seemingly unsure what to say. He thought for a moment, glanced up at Malloron and then looked away, embarrassment clear on his face.
"I do not have time for this foolishness," Malloron said, his voice hard. "Tell me."
“It is a long story, Your—”
“Get in.” Malloron held the door open until Emric hopped inside, then turned to him as he shut the door. “Tell me.”
Emric began slowly, stuttering and hesitant. "I was born in Glansrech, but not the mainland—my place of birth was an island south of the mainlands. The people there are a very close-knit community who like to keep to themselves. They have very strong traditions and the community is expected to uphold them. I was born with no scent and it made me not only an outcast but also a target. I could not get through even a day without some kind of attack; verbal or physical…. mostly physical. Male Omegas and female Alphas are viewed as unpleasant and disgusting, but a person with no scent at all is considered suspect and outright offensive. But as much as there was disgust and anger directed at me, there was also curiosity. There were some who befriended me only to find out if there was anything more interesting about me other than the lack of scent. There were some who wanted to ‘experience’ me just so they could say they had been brave enough to try out the freak. Some took me against my will when I was as young as nine because even before one’s dynamic is revealed at age twelve, there should at least be some kind of scent prior to that—I had none. It was clear that I was different from birth. It became too much for my mother. She was traumatized by what was happening to me and although she tried to hide me as best as she could, she was the one that had to care for me and heal me every time I was caught unaware. At the age of twelve, once my dynamic as a Gamma was official, she arranged for me to stowaway on a ship heading toward Rucevale.
“It was then that I first learned that I was undetectable if hidden. I hid on that ship and no one knew I was there; they could not detect me. It was the most peaceful three weeks I had, with easy access to everything I needed; the sound and view of the sea, food, and drink I could steal when the rest of the crew was sleeping or otherwise engaged, and somewhere for me to sleep. I decided to come to Eiros because I thought that maybe this territory would be more forgiving, or at the very least, that I could find a way to be useful or valuable. Perhaps I could find a job tucked away in a corner and live my life in peace. I was wrong. I soon learned that the tolerance of the people in all territories I crossed was lower than on Glansrech Island. I traveled across the Western Lands trying to find ways to hide what I was, because it became clear quickly that no one cared about any use I might have. By the time I reached Eiros, I had been attacked and brutalized and left for dead. Everything had been taken from me, and the biggest betrayal was by people I’d gotten to know whom I traveled with from Osorren and across Madis. They befriended me and encouraged me to be myself. I thought that maybe I might finally belong somewhere, but their intention was to sell me. When it turned out that their seller didn’t want me, I soon learned the price of their hospitality.
“I was collapsed against the wall that surrounds the castle city with the other beggars when your father’s royal procession rode by. I could barely move, my body wouldn’t work. Every single part of me had been torn apart and my mood was so low I couldn’t see the possibility of any light in my life. I was simply waiting to die. I heard your father tell his guards to clear the walls immediately. He had guests coming and didn't want beggars visible around the castle walls. As they began to clear everybody, I heard you tell them to stop. I heard you tell them that I worked for you and that you needed me inside the castle."
Emric fidgeted almost uncontrollably. Malloron had never seen him so agitated and nervous.
"I have no idea why you chose to do that, Your Majesty." He kept his eyes downcast. "I would like to think that it wasn't a mistake. I have been trying to make sure you didn't regret it if it was."
Malloron remembered the exact day. He had been riding ahead of his father’s carriage with his brother. They hadn't been much older than Emric at the time. He remembered seeing the young boy curled up,
frozen and barely able to move, not even when the guards were trying to drag him away. He lifted his eyes from Emric. He had his reasons for doing what he did, but Emric did not need to know them.
"It was not a mistake, Emric," Malloron said to him. "I told Banon you are unique and that you serve Eiros in ways no other can. You are of great value to me. And you have not disappointed me yet."
Emric’s entire face transformed; a wide grin stretching across it even as glistening tears trickled from his eyes.
"Although," Malloron added, "I will surely be disappointed if I have to kill Banon for disrespecting our Southern Land visitor because you haven't been able to find information about whether you could possibly be in a Haze."
The smile fell from Emric’s face, replaced by a troubled frown. "There must be a way to find out more."
"If there is, you should have found it by now." Malloron could not help the bite in his tone. This conversation had revealed much he did not know and had never cared to find out. Emric was his assistant—these kinds of discussions were inappropriate. And yet enlightening. Malloron looked around the room. "I’m going to ask you to help me order this room."
Emric’s eyes widened. "Are you sure, Your Majesty? I thought no one without Visant blood was allowed in here."
"Begin to order everything into books, potions, ingredients, and objects," Malloron said, ignoring him. "I need to get back to Amara soon, and I want us to get a good amount of this done before the need becomes too great."
As they worked together, methodically going through the room and organizing everything they came across, the need to see Amara built steadily. Malloron pushed the urge away, hoping that he would find the book before he had to return to her. He forced himself to think about what Emric had just told him. His story wasn't unlike many who grew up in some of the poorer territories in the Western Lands, but his seemed more dire. Other than his mother, who was selfish enough to abandon him because she could not bear to watch him suffer, it didn't seem like he had any one. No other family, no allies.