by Mark Tufo
‘Don’t Scott, just don’t.’ She shook her head in despair. He just didn’t get it, did he? She was relieved when Heather, the girl who hung around with these lads, came into the café. Tammy had spoken to her a couple of times in class during the week just gone and was quietly pleased when Heather spotted her then changed direction and came straight over.
‘All right?’
‘Yeah, you?’
‘I’m good. These your folks?’ Heather asked. ‘Nice to meet you all.’
‘Get your arse over here, Heather,’ Sean, one of Jamie’s mates, hollered across the room. ‘You got any cash on you?’ Heather turned around and glared at them, stuck her fingers up out of sight of Tammy and her family, then turned back again.
‘Sorry about them,’ she said. ‘Bunch of morons.’
‘They’re fine,’ Michelle said. ‘I’m Michelle, by the way.’
‘Heather.’
‘You two in the same class at school?’
‘For some subjects,’ Tammy mumbled, still embarrassed.
‘You settling in?’ Heather asked.
‘Getting there,’ Michelle replied. There was an awkward silence. Michelle sensed Heather wanted to go but didn’t want to appear rude. She tried to make it easier for her. ‘You’ll be wanting to get back to your friends.’
‘Hardly friends,’ she laughed. ‘That there’s my brother.’ She pointed to Jamie.
‘Oh, right.’
‘What you doing today?’ Tammy asked suddenly. Heather shrugged.
‘Not a lot. Hanging around town for a bit, I guess. Want to come?’
Tammy was up and out of her seat in a heartbeat. ‘I won’t be long,’ she said to Scott and Michelle. ‘I’ll keep in touch.’
‘Where will you be?’ Michelle asked.
‘Your place ain’t too far from mine,’ Heather answered quickly. ‘We live on the estate. We’ll walk back together later.’
‘Be careful,’ Scott warned. ‘Don’t do anything stupid.’ But they were already gone. A few seconds later and the three boys left too. Scott looked concerned, Michelle less so.
‘We have to let her do this,’ she whispered to him. ‘If we’re going to settle in here, she has to make friends and have some freedom.’
‘Yes, but those lads...’
‘Are just normal lads, same as you were at that age. Besides, I think she’d eat them for breakfast.’
‘I don’t know. I’m not happy about this. What about all the trouble there’s been here?’
‘Ken Potter’s dead, remember?’ she whispered. ‘That’s all done now. And besides, it’s Saturday lunchtime and they’re in the middle of town. They’re safe.’
‘Ah, don’t worry,’ Mary said. Michelle looked up, startled. She hadn’t even realised she was standing next to their table, never mind that she was listening in on them. ‘Those boys are all noise, no trousers. They’ll give it all the attitude they can, but they’re good lads at heart. Now, can I get yous all anything else?’
‘No, we’re done, thanks,’ Michelle said. ‘Lovely meal.’ She meant it. The food had been perfect, just what she’d wanted despite all their original reservations and protestations. Funny how the satisfaction of a full stomach made them all feel a little more settled.
Michelle loaded George back into his pushchair then waited outside with Phoebe as Scott settled the bill.
They passed Tammy on the way home. She was walking along the side of the road with Heather. Jamie, Sean and Joel were following close behind. Tammy did what she could to pretend she hadn’t noticed the car, even when Scott beeped the horn, wound down his window and shouted at her.
Heather and Jamie lived on the grimy-looking council estate Scott had driven them through when they’d first arrived in Thussock. They could see it looming in the distance. Tammy said nothing about what she’d thought of the place that day. Back then it had seemed like something out of a documentary made in the seventies: rows of identical houses which might have been considered tasteful and modern when they’d originally been built, cutting-edge, but which were now hideously dated and impractical. All Tammy had seen last Saturday had been the overgrown gardens and the kids sitting on walls outside squat and ugly apartment blocks. She had to admit it didn’t look quite so bad today. Framed by the mountains in the distance and fields on either side, the place didn’t look as sprawling and endless as it initially had. Maybe it was because last week she’d been at the wrong end of a six and a half hour car journey? Maybe it was because she was on foot now and had time to look properly? Or then again, maybe it was because after a week here her standards were already slipping?
They stopped at the recreation ground, way before they reached the estate. At first Tammy was reluctant to hang around here. Loitering in kids’ playgrounds – that was the kind of thing chavs did back home. She’d given up on street corners years ago. Was this really what she’d been reduced to? Still, when she weighed up all her options and considered the alternatives, this was probably the best way of wasting time she could find. She quite liked Heather. She’d been talking inconsequential crap non-stop since leaving the café, going on about her boyfriend Chez (he’s nearly twenty, you know), and how many times they’d done it (he fucked me here by the swings one time... it was lush). Tammy was starting to think Heather could be shaped, that the only reason she was rough like this was because of a lack of similarly-aged female company. She decided she’d stick with her for a while and see how things went. Anyway – and there was no way she was going to say this out loud or admit it to anyone – she quite liked Jamie. He could be a real dick at times and he was way less mature than the boys she was used to back home, but he was quite cute. The best of a bad bunch. Better than nothing.
Tammy and Heather sat talking on opposite sides of the slowly spinning roundabout, occasional one-footed pushes keeping them moving. Behind them, Jamie and his mates chucked stones at the metal bins down the side of the community hall. ‘Hey, Graham,’ the weasel-faced one – Joel – yelled. Tammy looked up, still spinning around, and saw a man walking across the bottom edge of the recreation ground at speed, head down, doing all he could to ignore the torrent of abuse Joel was now hurling at him. He had a Co-op carrier bag clutched tight to his chest and he refused to look anywhere but directly ahead. Tammy thought he looked familiar.
‘Who’s that?’
‘Just Graham,’ Heather told her. ‘Bit of an odd-ball. Works at the Co-op. Mops the floors and collects the trolleys.’
That was where she knew him from – he was the one who’d found Scott’s wallet and brought it out to him.
Joel ran after Graham, sprinting down the hill and cutting him off, blocking his way through. ‘Where you goin’, Graham mate?’
‘Home,’ Graham said, head still down, refusing to make eye-contact. He tried to side-step Joel, but Joel anticipated and got in his way again.
‘What’s in your bag? Got any food?’
Graham clutched the bag tighter. ‘Just my dinner.’
‘Leave him alone, Joel,’ Jamie shouted, his intervention surprising everyone.
Joel looked up and grinned. ‘Just chattin’ wi’ me mate.’
Graham tried to pass him again, this time managing to get through. Joel ruffled his hair as he passed, then watched him walk away, now so fast he was almost running.
And again, Tammy’s heart sank. Is this really the best I can do? Hanging around in a park, watching a moron hurl abuse at the village idiot? It hurt. Christ, she couldn’t remember ever feeling so low before, not even when Mum and Dad had first split up. She walked away, trying hard not to let Heather see she was crying.
‘Wassup Tam?’
‘Nothing.’
‘You missing home?’ she asked with surprising perception. Tammy nodded, then the floodgates opened. ‘Come on,’ Heather said, getting up and putting her arm around Tammy’s shoulder. ‘Let’s go back to mine.’
They walked towards the estate, passing Joel as he came running back up the hill they were walki
ng down. ‘Lesbians,’ he shouted at them.
‘Fuck off,’ Heather shouted back.
‘That’s my sister, you prick,’ Jamie said, and he booted Joel in the backside then chased him around the back of the community hall.
Tammy managed to get a text through to say where she was going, then phoned Michelle a few hours later, asking for a lift home. ‘Have you seen the car keys?’ Michelle asked.
‘I’ve got them,’ Scott said, tapping his pocket. ‘Why?’
‘Tam needs picking up.’
‘I’ll get her.’
‘It’s okay. It’s just around the corner.’
‘Did you not hear me? I said I’ll get her. Give me the address.’
Michelle did as he said. It wasn’t worth arguing.
Chapter 61
Sunday afternoon. Michelle didn’t know how much more of today she could take. George had picked up a cold – probably from the change of surroundings or mixing with new kids, she thought – and he was making life hell for everyone, moaning and grizzling and constantly demanding attention. Tammy and Phoebe were bickering about something, probably nothing, and now Scott was making a hell of a noise downstairs. She dumped George in with the girls and went to see what he was doing. She found him in the kitchen, shifting furniture. She tripped over a bucketful of tools he’d left in the doorway.
‘What are you doing, Scott? I nearly crippled myself just then.’
‘What’s it look like I’m doing?’
He didn’t give her time to answer, just swung a sledgehammer at the wall between the kitchen and dining room. It hit with a deep thud which resonated throughout the entire house. Everything in the kitchen shook. It snowed with dust. She dived for the still wet washing-up on the draining board, re-wiping and shoving plates and dishes into cupboards, cringing as the sledgehammer hit again. And again. And again.
She covered up what she could, then waited in the doorway for him to stop, watching the knee-level hole in the wall getting bigger and bigger. Already there were mounds of plaster and broken brick on either side.
‘What?’ he said, panting with effort, pausing for breath.
‘You pick your moments.’
‘Don’t talk to me like that.’
‘Well I’ve tried being tactful and that doesn’t seem to work. I thought we were going to wait a while.’
‘This needs doing.’
He turned his back on her, adjusted his safety goggles, then swung the sledgehammer again. Three more hits and he stopped, conscious she was still there and still watching.
‘What’s your problem?’
She just looked at him, seething. ‘A bit of notice would have been nice.’
‘I told you, this is the most important job. This needs doing first.’
‘I thought we were waiting,’ she said again.
‘Waiting for what?’
‘Waiting to get back on our feet, to get some cash behind us again. I thought you’d at least wait until we’d finished unpacking.’ She peered through the hole. ‘The carpet in the dining room’s ruined.’
‘We were gonna change it anyway.’
‘That’s not the point. We can’t afford to change it, not yet. You know that. We talked about it.’
Three more hits. After the third strike Scott waited for the dust to settle.
‘I don’t know what your problem is,’ he said.
‘Where do you want me to start? Summer’s over, Scott. With a bloody great hole in the wall we’ll lose the heat.’
‘Not when I’ve finished.’
‘But you said it would take weeks.’
‘Let me get on with it then. I don’t know why you’re being so cranky, love. I’m doing this for us.’
‘If you were doing it for us, you wouldn’t be doing it now.’
‘It’ll be worth it.’
‘How many times have I heard that before?’
‘I mean it.’
‘You always mean it. This is the central part of the house, Scott. How am I supposed to cook meals in the middle of a building site?’
‘You’re exaggerating. It won’t be that bad.’
‘You try it then.’
He looked at her again, face more serious. ‘I’m at work all day. Cooking isn’t my job.’
She swallowed hard. ‘It isn’t my job either, but I do it because we need to eat. Same as all the cleaning I do, and the laundry and everything else.’
‘Damn right too. You’re sitting at home all day anyway,’ he said, lifting the sledgehammer to start again. ‘You’d be bored otherwise.’ Michelle bit her lip. He just looked at her, waiting for a response, but knowing he wouldn’t get one. ‘Oh well, I’ve started now. Can’t leave it like this, can I?’ He swung once more, then stopped again. She was still there. ‘Well?’
‘Why do you keep doing this to me, Scott?’
‘Keep doing what? I don’t know what you’re on about.’
‘You keep undermining me, taking away the little control I’ve still got.’
‘Now you’re just talking rubbish. You’re paranoid, love.’
‘I’m not. You put the house on the market without consulting me, made an offer on this place without me even seeing so much as a picture. You do it on purpose, don’t you?’
He turned his back on her and started hammering on the wall with more force than before.
Another hour and he was knackered. He had to stop. He stood back and admired what he’d done. He’d made good progress, managing to knock a roughly door-shaped hole through into the dining room. He’d cleared some of the rubble too, but he’d have to finish the rest after work tomorrow. If only Michelle could see things the way he did. She just didn’t share his vision, always thinking about things in boring, practical, day-to-day terms. You need to take chances from time to time, he kept telling her. She was the one who was always banging on about wanting them all to eat together in the dining room eventually. Well, now she could carry their food straight through from the kitchen.
She was back again, hovering in the doorway. ‘Looks the business, doesn’t it?’ he said, but she didn’t seem to hear him. ‘What’s up with you now?’
‘Have you seen Tammy?’
‘No, why?’
‘She’s gone.’
‘What do you mean, gone?’
‘What do you think I mean? She’s not here.’
‘Well have you tried her phone?’
‘She’s not answering.’
‘She must have said something. She’ll have told Phoebe.’
‘Phoebe’s been in with me and George for the last hour.’
‘But she must have said something?’
‘If you really want to know, last time I spoke to her she said she was sick of your bloody noise and she wanted out.’
‘When was that?’
‘Just after you started knocking hell out of the house.’
‘And you didn’t think to say anything? Bloody hell.’
Scott kicked his bucket of tools into the corner of the kitchen and grabbed his jacket.
‘Where are you going?’ Michelle asked.
‘Where do you think? I’ll go and look for her.’
‘All due respect, I think it’d be better if I—’
‘I’ll go. Keep trying her mobile. Let me know if you hear from her. Wait here in case she comes back.’
‘What else am I supposed to do?’ she said as he barged past her.
Scott ran out to the car and drove towards Thussock. It seemed the most likely place for her to have gone. The sun was out, but it wasn’t a particularly warm afternoon, so he couldn’t imagine her wanting to walk out in the open for too long. If he didn’t find her in town, he decided, he’d follow the road around the back of the house and loop around the fracking site.
The road ahead and behind was empty. He could see most of the way into town and there was no sign of any pedestrians or other traffic, let alone Tammy. Thussock was quiet at the best of times, and this afternoon it was d
ead. A bloody ghost town.
They’d been so busy fighting and knocking shit out of the kitchen that neither Mum or Scott had heard her tell them she was going out with Heather, Jamie and Sean. Screw ‘em, Tammy thought. If they can’t be bothered with me, I can’t be bothered with them. She thought it strange how her perspective had changed overnight. Yesterday the idea of hanging around outside the community hall hadn’t appealed in the slightest, but being here today was a blessed relief, infinitely preferable to being in that bloody house with those bloody people.
‘That your dad?’ Jamie asked, watching the Zafira disappear into town at speed.
‘Step-dad,’ Tammy corrected him quickly, staring until she was sure he was out of sight.
‘He out looking for you?’
‘Probably.’
‘Should you tell someone you’re here?’ Heather asked.
‘Can’t be bothered,’ Tammy immediately replied. ‘Might do them some good.’
‘What?’
‘Might make them sit up and listen if I’m not there.’
‘You reckon?’
‘Probably not. They’re not interested in me. It’s frigging stupid, I don’t wanna be here, and I don’t think they even want me here. Doesn’t make any sense.’
‘I can relate to that,’ Heather said.
Tammy leant against the frame of the swing without a seat, listening to the endless emptiness of Thussock. ‘So is this really all there is to do around here?’
‘Pretty much,’ Heather said, checking her phone.
‘Drink, Tam?’ Jamie asked, and he took a small bottle of vodka from his inside coat pocket. She took it from him, unscrewed the lid, and knocked back a large slug. ‘Jeez, careful.’
‘I’m used to it,’ she told him, and she was.
‘It’s not that, I just don’t want you neckin’ it all.’
Tammy took another gulp then passed the bottle back. ‘I’ve been drinking this stuff for years. Takes the edge off. My mum would go mental if she knew.’
‘Aye, aye,’ Jamie said, walking to the furthest edge of the tarmac play area. ‘Here he comes.’
Joel was speeding towards them on his bike, his thin sports jacket splayed out behind like a superhero’s cape. He skidded to a halt in front of the swings, his back wheel churning up dust.