by Jerri Hines
“It is the freedom, Mother, only,” Philip teased.
“I thought we were bringing Anne home, my dear boy. You didn’t leave her again. Did you?” she said, reprimanding her son. “Can you imagine leaving one’s fiancé at a ball in this fashion?”
“Ah, she loves me, but loves the dance more. This time it wasn’t my fault. I warned her. She didn’t want to leave. Freddy agreed to escort her home since her parents weren’t in attendance. Thank goodness she has a brother who is willing to wait upon her,” he reminded his mother. He turned to Cathryn. “Anne, as I told you before, I need to introduce you. She knows everyone and will make sure you are comfortable. I can well imagine not knowing anyone and being thrust upon society the moment you step off a ship.”
Without warning, the carriage pulled to a stop. Cathryn glanced out. It wasn’t her grandparents. Philip once more smiled. “Don’t be concerned. I promise to get you home. Give me but a moment. I’ll be back.”
Cathryn watched while Philip exited the carriage and swept up the steps of the house, taking two steps at a time. Confused, but at least not in tears, she sat back. “Thank you. I do deeply appreciate you taking me home. I don’t know what came over me. It was nice of…” She gave pause. She wasn’t certain what she should call her son.
Her Grace laughed. “I believe his title at the moment is Marquess of Tinsley, so simply Lord Tinsley would do. I simply call him Philip. I’m certain you will get to know him as a friend if all goes well with our Jake.” She patted Cathryn’s hand.
“Oh, Your Grace, I don’t think my situation…I don’t know if it will work out…” Cathryn paused. The lady had been so kind and in the moment of kindness she couldn’t impose further. She had well gone beyond embarrassment.
“You worry about our Jake. Please, don’t. He’s formal and all responsibility, but he has had to be. Philip has not a better friend and Philip owes Jake much, including his life. I couldn’t be more pleased for Jake.”
“Then why does he tell me it can never be, Duchess? I’m sorry, but I’m confused and so dreadfully miserable.”
“I know, my dear.” Her tone changed. “I do realize that there is much before you, but never give up hope. I have heard the rumors of what your grandparent’s desire for you, but hold to your convictions.”
“I’m trying, Your Grace.”
“You look as though you have the weight of the world upon you, my dear. I’m sure your father wouldn’t want such. You should enjoy yourself. You are young. I can well imagine being thrust into a society such as you were,” the Duchess said. “I remember it well. We have something in common. My father owned a plantation in Barbados. I returned with my family when I was fifteen. Memories of…” Her Grace gave pause for a moment. “It’s difficult to leave family and immediately be expected to behave in a certain manner. But as with me, it will take time. And,” she reached over and squeezed Cathryn’s hand, “you aren’t alone. You have friends.”
Cathryn’s manner eased in response to the duchess’ kindness, but the longer they waited, the more confused Cathryn became. “Does your son do this often? Leave you within the middle of the street?”
“Ah, Philip is my weakness, my dear. My only child. I’m afraid I have spoiled him greatly. I can’t remember ever refusing him a request. My husband would not be happy if he found out half the things I have done for him, but some things are better left unsaid. How many mothers would leave a ball upon a son’s request? And I comply! But he has a good heart.”
The conversation came to an abrupt halt as the door swung open. Philip stood with a wicked grin upon his face for behind him stood Jake with a look of rushing to dress correctly, his shirt half tucked. Cathryn’s gaze fell upon Jake’s. Philip slapped Jake’s back.
“Let’s go. We really don’t have time.”
“Good evening, Your Grace,” Jake said fondly, leaning over as he entered and kissing her cheek.
“It is good to see you, young man. I haven’t seen you nearly enough since your return. Although I have heard from your mother, who understandably is quite pleased you are home safely. What has my son planned now?” the Duchess questioned when Philip took a seat by his friend. “Do you not think we are getting crowded, Philip?”
“You see, no one gives me credit,” Philip exclaimed. “I have told the driver to take us home. I see no other recourse. All you need to do is write a note to the Cavanaughs that Cathryn couldn’t make it to her grandparents before being ill and you stopped at the house.”
Jake shook his head at his friend. “You are only two streets over.”
Philip smirked. “Wait and see if anyone questions my mother from that house.”
Her Grace mockingly reprimanded her son. “You have drawn me into this conspiracy.”
“You love it, Mother.” Philip laughed. “I know you do.”
Cathryn said nothing, but her eyes never left Jake’s, nor his, hers. For the first time in her life, she sat back meekly and accepted Jake’s hand as she descended down the steps of the carriage into Philip’s town house. At another time, she might be able to well appreciate the beauty of all, but at this moment her thoughts were only with Jake.
Shown into the drawing room, the duchess turned to Cathryn. “If you don’t mind, Miss Blankenship, I need a word with my son. Please make yourself comfortable. Try not to see me as a bad hostess. I will be back momentarily with refreshments.”
Barely waiting until the door closed, Jake sat beside Cathryn on a settee close to the window, grasping tight her hands. “Cathryn, what is wrong? Why are you like this?”
“How can you ask me that, Jake? You have abandoned me. My grandparents have pressured me to accept Lord Lyttleton. I haven’t heard from my father or anyone from home.”
“I haven’t abandoned you, Cathryn. I have to take care of issues.”
“Issues? Jake, you so much as told me goodbye. You…you walked away from me. Leaving me when I told you they want me to marry that man. What am I to think, Jake? I have tried. Truly, I have, to make everyone happy. It’s…I can’t be what I’m not. I can’t act like everything is wonderful to the world when inside my heart is being ripped apart and I do not understand why.”
“I have tried to tell you that your family may not think I’m acceptable, Cathryn. I wish to God that all was as easy as it is seen within your eyes, but as I tried to tell you, I won’t cause a scandal for you. I respect your father and have only the utmost for you also,” he said slowly. His eyes searched hers. “I stayed away for you only for the moment. Listen to me carefully, Cathryn. I went to your grandfather and asked his permission to call upon you. He refused.”
“Oh, no,” she cried. “He can’t do that. Why?”
He placed his finger upon her lips. “We have to be patient. I suspect it is because of Lyttleton, and in honesty, Cathryn, I’m not Philip. If I was, I’m certain the matter would be different. I’m an officer in his Majesty’s army. Only one day to be a simple squire. Don’t be hard on your grandparents. They want what is best for you or they think is best for you.”
Jake gave pause. Her eyes puffy, red, began to well up once more. Her lips trembled. “Pray don’t tell me you want me, but will leave me for you think it’s for the best, Jake. I can’t take that. Tell me you don’t want me and you hate me.”
“No, no, my darling.” He took her hands once more and brought them up to his lips. “I’m not sitting back. I have written your father for permission. I wait to hear back from him.”
Cathryn felt certain her face illuminated upon his utterance for her heart sang. He stared into her eyes. “You, my dear, have my heart. You have from the moment I met you. I have tried not to impose myself, but if you find that you will have me, I will do my best for you always.”
Her tears again flowed but at this moment, happy tears. He held her to his chest and stroked her hair. “I shouldn’t have declared myself as such yet. I have to hear back from your father, Cathryn. And honestly if he feels it isn’t in your best interest
…”
“I know my father, Jake,” she whispered. “Please, Jake, let’s run away tonight.”
He pulled her back to see her face. “No, Cathryn, you will have to find patience. It is only for a month…two at the most. Wait. You will see. You will be happy you waited.”
“But you don’t know, Jake. It isn’t…”
“Is it Lyttleton? Philip said you were scared tonight. Has he done anything?”
Her eyes broke away from him. “I’m fine. Now, I’m fine.”
“No, I can see. Philip said the whole of your body shook. You well know by now that bad blood runs between us. Cathryn, I can’t help if I don’t know.”
“It is only I irritate him so, I am sure,” Cathryn said, trying to play light upon her fear. She had what she dreamed about and had no desire for Lyttleton to ruin her moment.
“I don’t trust him, Cathryn. He has always been so. If he does anything, says anything, do not hesitate to call upon me.”
“I will. I promise.”
He lowered his head and spoke against her lips. “I have thought of nothing else but you.”
She opened her mouth beneath his, accepting his touch, his lips to hers. She was forever lost in sensation. How long had she wanted this? She trembled in his arms as her lips pulsed against his own. His arm wrapped around her pulling her tighter into his embrace.
He kissed her desperately. Not sweetly either. Harder this time. More demanding. Desire flooded her body with a cascade of pleasurable sensations. He feathered kisses on her nose, cheek, and down her neck. His kisses intensified and she lost herself again. He drove her to madness. She felt his hands explore her body. She did not object when he caressed her breasts; she found she wanted him to. She almost begged him to.
A yearning emerged within her, wild and passionate. She wanted more. She wanted Jake. All felt too good. Then in the distance, a sound disturbed their moment. A slight knock on the door brought both back to reality.
Jake broke apart from her with the greatest of reluctance. The aching pleasure dimmed, but Cathryn wasn’t in despair. They would have a lifetime to explore this new found pleasure. She had her Jake and his love.
Chapter Six
When Cathryn departed from the Eversleigh’s townhouse the next morning, she left the house filled with her dreams. Her Grace accompanied Cathryn back to her grandparents. She had found a friend, indeed, in the duchess, who had been quite taken with Cathryn. Moreover as Philip had forecast, her grandmother welcomed the Duchess of Eversleigh, and was delighted to have her call.
“I wish I had known Cathryn wasn’t feeling well,” Grandmamma said. “I would have gladly taken her home. I hope she didn’t impose on you.”
“Impose, gracious no, Lady Cavanaugh. Lovely child,” Her Grace said with a vibrant smile for Cathryn. “I found her ultimately delightful. That was why I took pity upon the poor child. Did you know that Cathryn and I have much in common? I remember well coming up from the islands. It can be so hard upon one, not knowing anyone.”
“I didn’t realize that, Your Grace,” Grandmamma responded.
“I found great pleasure in her company, not having a girl of my own. Of course, now that will change soon enough. You have heard, I’m certain, that Philip is to be married in the fall? A huge affair, for Anne wants the entire world to see. Such a theatrical girl, but she is good for Philip. I think he is young, but his father thinks it is time. Anne is such a lovey girl.”
“And from an excellent family,” Grandmamma agreed. “I had hopes that Reginald would sight his eyes upon her cousin, Melinda, but as of yet, Reginald hasn’t set his sights upon much.”
“The young! Oh, what can we do? It seems we can’t rush these things. Can we?”
“You do want to see them settled with a good match,” Grandmamma said and looked over at her granddaughter. “Our Cathryn seems reluctant so far.”
“Grandmamma,” Cathryn said, “I do feel a good match is one where one is happy. Do you not think?”
“But, my dear, I’m not confident that at your age and experience you can understand what it takes to be happy. Marriage is for a duration. I feel your father has failed you to an extent with certain aspects of your upbringing,” Grandmamma said dryly.
Cathryn glanced over at the duchess, who smiled sweetly upon her, as to tell her to be patient. Cathryn had no patience. She wanted to scream from the top of her voice that she had found one quite suitable. Her father had done an admirable job in her upbringing. Instead, she remained quiet.
“Do you not feel, Lady Cavanaugh, that it may take time to adjust? To have traveled so far and be thrust upon London’s society. I still remember how hard it was upon me when I first arrived in England,” Her Grace said. Her eyes twinkled at Cathryn.
Grandmamma looked over at where Cathryn sat. “I wish she had had time to accustom herself, Your Grace, but her father insisted in his instructions that he had promised Cathryn if she was to come, she had only to stay for a year. I must confess that I may have well pressed upon her a suitable marriage, but I can’t begin to tell you how I had longed for my daughter to return to her home. Tragically, time ran out. Yes, I have well thought about the situation, but I find myself a selfish woman. I do have a great desire for Cathryn to make her home here within England.”
Speechless at Grandmamma’s response, Cathryn felt a twinge of guilt sweep through her. Grandmamma hadn’t been one to express her emotions and this had been the closest to an expression of love for her granddaughter that she had come. Cathryn found her heart softening toward the woman.
Grandmamma gestured to Cathryn as a maid brought the tea that had been requested.
“Would you care to pour for us, Cathryn?” Lady Cavanaugh asked and turned the conversation toward Duchess Eversleigh’s gown she was preparing for her son’s wedding.
* * * *
Cathryn opened the door to her room. She needed to rest. She was exhausted…with happiness. Shutting the door behind her, she leaned her back against it reliving the night she had spent.
If only her grandmother realized she had spent her time playing games with Jake and Philip; watching mostly, for she had never played cards such as the two had, but they had tried to instruct her. It had been the most wonderful of nights. She wanted only to fall asleep and dream about it, over and over again.
No sooner had she stepped away from the door, than she spotted little Mary sleeping upon her bed. The poor thing. No one told her she stayed over at the Eversleighs. The dear one probably had not slept with worrying about her.
“How did you manage to stay over with the Duchess of Eversleigh? Are you up to one of your stunts again?” Tacy said, entering the room, glancing over at Mary. “The poor dear was worried sick, Miss Cathryn. I might have been a tad myself. You were so heavy of heart when you left last evening.”
“Everything has changed, Tacy!” Cathryn grabbed hold of her maid and twirled her around the floor. “But you can’t breathe a word of it or all will be lost. He loves me, Tacy! Jake loves me!”
“Miss Cathryn, are you all right?” Tacy paused and collected herself.
Cathryn laughed. “I can’t get into all the details, but everything will soon be right with the world. I can’t wait to hear back from Father.”
Tacy walked over to the window to pull the curtains to darken the room. “Miss Cathryn, were you expecting visitors?”
“No, why?”
“A carriage has just drawn up. There’s a group of uniformed officers.”
Cathryn rushed to the window. Tacy had been correct. Cathryn watched while four uniformed officers walked up the steps to the entrance. An ominous foreboding swept through her. “Oh, Tacy, something’s wrong.”
The feeling didn’t change when a knock came upon her door summoning her to her grandfather’s study.
* * * *
Cathryn felt as if she walked in someone else’s body descending the staircase. Outside it was a beautiful day, the sunshine beamed down upon the world. People
walked the sidewalks, smiling and greeting those around them; horse hooves clicked upon the stone pavement ahead of carriages or under riders; the trees stood shading the ground beneath and flowers bloomed oblivious to the dealings of the world around them.
Surreal, Cathryn had walked this road before. A hard road, but this time she walked it alone. The door opened wide before she could knock. No one had to tell her; she could see it in the officers’ eyes. She had a sudden desire to run; she didn’t want to be there, but her grandfather took her arm.
“Cathryn, these officers have brought news about your father. Come, have a seat, my dear,” he said.
In a trance, Cathryn followed her grandfather and sat down, but her eyes never left the elderly officer, who had stood upon her appearance. His face was sun dried, wrinkled; his eyes, weary, having done this duty far too many times; dressed immaculately in his brass button, brilliant red waistcoat, and crisp white wig.
“General Nigel Beaumont, Miss Blankenship,” he uttered.
Her heart hung upon his words.
“I regret to inform you of information that we received. Your father, Governor John Rolf Blankenship, was wounded by an assault and has succumbed to those wounds.”
The words echoed within the walls, sending her world into a downward spiral. The whole of her body weakened. Comprehension descended upon her slowly. She could make no sense of the actions that took her father’s life. Words encircled her: “Colony unrest… After you had left for England… Unfortunate… The assailant caught… Justice served… Your father served his country proudly.”
“You have my deepest condolences, Miss Blankenship,” General Beaumont stated. He walked over to her side and bent down to her. “I have letters for you. I was told to give them to you personally. It is of little comfort, my dear. I knew your father years ago. An honorable man. I am sorry.”
Cathryn nodded. All seemed as a dream. The next thing she remembered was returning to her room. She watched the officers leave from her window. Confused and saddened, Mary sat down by Cathryn. Tacy let her tears flow freely with no shame. Cathryn felt numb. There would be no comfort for her…no…her beloved father was dead.