by Jerri Hines
“I’ve never thought of you in any other way than my brother. Should I have looked at things differently? Was it disloyal to my mother? When Father first introduced us…in my innocence I didn’t understand what it meant, but I knew immediately when I saw you that you were my brother. Now at times, I wonder if Mother knew.”
“I can’t say, Cathryn. I didn’t know your mother well,” he answered honestly. “But I did know the Governor and my mother. Whatever their relationship was at one time, he never dishonored your mother while she lived in this house.”
She nodded. His words eased a guilt she felt for so readily accepting him and Juriah. “Father wanted you to be recognized, Sumner. You have to realize that.
“He gave you so much responsibility. Not that you didn’t earn it, but I believe in his heart he would rather you have Elm Bluff. I have been thinking about doing something about it.”
“I’m not taking what has been given to you, Cathryn.”
“No, I believe I’m right, Sumner. What is it to me, or what will it ever be?” she asked. “I have made choices that will lead me away from here eventually. I…” She paused as she looked up at her brother. “When I to return to England to deal with my inheritance, I have thought I might raise the children at Trafford. It was their father’s. It will be difficult not to allow them to grow up within the country their father…”
“Why?” Sumner asked crossly. “Why? Because it’s their birthright? What about what you gave them? Is this not where your heart lies? This is the place that pulled you when you were hurt and alone. It is your home…their home. One day, we will have to fight for your inheritance. There again you should not have been placed in this position. It should have never been this way.”
“Philip wanted to protect me.”
“Or his child? I know you don’t understand why I choice to side with the patriots. It is over matters such as this. Why should they dictate to us? Tell us what we need to do,” he stated vehemently. “We aren’t capable of an intelligent thought so that we have to be told what to do? Why not let little Philip grow up to decide what he wants to do? Lucy? Would they let her stay?”
“It’s complicated. It is why I can’t decide upon my course of action. But you are right about being forced into a decision. I can’t see how it would be justified to keep my own money away from me over my move. I don’t know what Philip did.”
“I could go to Father’s lawyer in Charles Town. Ask him to be discreet.”
“But then they would know from where it came. Although, they have to have a good idea of where I am…if only I could talk with my solicitor in London.”
Sumner raised his eyebrow. “What if you had someone in London talk to him?”
“I trust no one in London.”
“No, but William’s younger brother, Alfred, still is abroad finishing his education.”
Cathryn gave pause. “It would mean telling William everything.”
“And who do you trust more?” Sumner asked. “If I had let him ask before you left, none of this would have happened. He may be a thorn in my side, but he is an honorable man, Cathryn. Do you not think?”
“I’ve never questioned his honor. I don’t want to be indebted to anyone, though, Sumner. I would rather we be independent.”
“We can’t in this, Cathryn.” He took her by the shoulders. “Look at what you have at stake. You eye the letter on top. I know of what it pertains, but it angers me. You can’t want to return to England, not after all you have endured. Mary told me, also. This Lieutenant of yours…he professed to love you…to protect you…but he didn’t. I have to ask how he could have left you in that manner? At least, your husband stood by you, but he is gone.”
She picked up the letter. Underneath, two more lay.
Her eyes misted. Sumner took them from her.
“Read them if you must. I didn’t receive the last until after I had heard about your abduction. I was so angry at him for not protecting you, for me not being there to protect you.”
“He was angry at himself also, Sumner. But you are right, I wanted him to be different. I wanted him to love me through it all. I needed him,” she said in a voice no louder than a whisper. “The pain of the whip was nothing compared to the pain he inflicted upon me. No matter what reason he had.”
“That is what lies in England, Cathryn,” Sumner declared vehemently. “Why would you want to return? After the war, we can deal with the children.”
“No, you’re right, Sumner.” She took the letters from him. In one swift motion she ripped them into pieces. “Burn them. It is time I begin to think of the future and not the past.”
* * * *
When William was announced, Cathryn sat prepared for the call in the drawing room. She had made her decision. She had given Sumner’s words long consideration. She needed assistance in her quest to retain her inheritance. She needed control.
Everything would have been so different if Philip had lived. She would be at Trafford now with the children preparing again for Christmas. Philip would have been in his element. How proud he would have been!
The duchess…how Cathryn’s heart ached for the dear woman. She had no knowledge about her grandchildren. Philip would have been greatly disappointed the twins had been hidden from his beloved mother, but he should have addressed his father.
With the thought of that man, all her reservations about her actions faded. Instinct to protect what was hers sprang forth.
If she had stayed in England, she held no doubt Eversleigh would have taken her children from her. Who would have stopped him? Jake? The last time she had seen Jake he told her he would deal with His Grace, but that hadn’t stopped Eversleigh from throwing her out upon the street, stealing all she had—her ring, her sketches, everything except the children.
In her dreams, she could see Jake explaining it was the honorable thing for Eversleigh to take the children. Look at her, her reputation was ruined. Philip had only taken pity upon her. She wasn’t fit to look after his children. Look at what she had done—left England to come to a place riddled with raids, scrimmages, and illnesses. She had taken her children into the middle of a war! Cathryn would wake in a sweat.
Mourning had allowed her to hide for these months. She hadn’t left the plantation since her return. She had a fear of leaving—that she wouldn’t return. She was certain there were rumors…
“Cathryn?”
She greeted William with a warm smile. “I’m so glad you could make it. I hope I did not pull you away if you were needed at home. I know it is close to Randa’s time.”
“You did not. I fear my presence has worn on her nerves,” he said. Leaning down, he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek before sitting across from her in the high-back chair. “I hover too closely are the words I believe she used.”
“She is feeling unwell?”
“She is listless and fatigued. I thought she felt warm this morning. Her mother is with her at the moment. A doctor has been called. I hope you don’t mind if we keep this a brief visit.”
“Oh, William, this can wait. Go, be with Randa.”
“I believe she welcomed a reprieve. I believe I have quite gotten on her nerves as of late.”
“It is only her condition, William. I’m afraid we are like that.”
“It is my hope it will pass,” he said and paused. “Tell me, now, what is on your mind that you feel I may be of help.”
Cathryn took in a deep breath. “If you are sure, William, for I don’t want to add to your burden at the moment, but I trust no other. Sumner suggested—”
“I cannot give you an answer unless you tell me what it is, Cathryn.”
“It’s not immediate, but I was wondering if…” She glanced away for all of a sudden she found it extremely difficult to speak. “It has to do with why I came home. I left in a cloud of scandal I’m sure. It’s just I may… No, I will have to fight for my children.” Emotions long pent up within swept through her.
William studied
her. Could she see compassion or pity? She wasn’t certain.
“I may have a small knowledge of what you speak. Alfred, you know, is studying over in London. He had a strange visit a few weeks ago,” William said. He reached for her hand. “Are you in hiding, Cathryn? Are you running from the Duke of Eversleigh?”
She gasped in astonishment. “How did you know?”
“Alfred’s caller was a man in the employment of the duke. The man questioned Alfred quite thoroughly. Alfred gave him no answers, but Cathryn, Alfred heard the most astounding rumor. Were you married to his son?”
An awkward silence ensued. Cathryn wasn’t certain how to answer. She drew in a deep breath and simply nodded. In the next breath, she told him the whole of the story.
* * * *
William sat back against in his chair. His eyes fixed on her. “You did right, Cathryn. Of course, you had to come home. How could you ever even consider going back? It’s complicated at best, I’m certain. I knew there was more to the story, for Eversleigh wouldn’t be scouring for your location for bastard children.”
“It was rumored we weren’t married?”
“Cathryn, Alfred was getting the information second hand at best. It made no sense to me that you would be running without reason. How like the arrogant British to tie up your inheritance. The bastards!” A brief moment paused before he spoke with deliberate slowness. “I should have never let you leave.”
Cathryn sat speechless at his words.
“I’m sorry.” He heaved a laborious sigh. “I should have been a gentleman and never uttered my feelings, but I suspect you well know how I feel. After you left, I had foolishly clung to the hope that you would return to me, until Sumner informed me of your marriage. It is strange the mess our lives have fallen in. We have tried so desperately to follow the rules that society and God dictate to us, and look at us.”
“It can’t be undone,” she said when she found her voice. “It hasn’t been all bad, William. I have two beautiful children. You will also, soon. And Randa—”
“Randa is in love with Sumner and will always be, Cathryn. I knew that well before I married her. She was a dutiful girl and never uttered such, but it is there as well as you are now, Cathryn.” He rose and strolled over to the window. “She has noticed since your return. She hasn’t said anything, but I know she realizes you are back by now. I’ve never mention it. I’m sure you wondered why she wouldn’t have called upon you when the twins were born. I suppose you thought she didn’t want to run into Sumner.”
“You shouldn’t talk of such, William. You are a dear friend and I don’t want that to end. Why are you so miserable?”
He shrugged indolently. “You were in love.”
She nodded. “And in honesty, William, I don’t ever plan to marry again.”
“You’re young. You were hurt. It will take time, but it will come.”
“I don’t know if this hurt will ever heal,” she said slowly. “My concern now is directed at my children. Sumner thought that Alfred might be able to help me. I need to contact my solicitor in London without anyone’s knowledge.”
“It shouldn’t be an issue. I’ll talk to Sumner and then I’ll write to Alfred. Give me time to arrange the communication, Cathryn. I will help.”
Cathryn watched William ride away. She was troubled by their conversation. He had been correct that she suspected, but she never expected him to express himself so openly. She wondered why he had done so.
Had she become so hardened that she questioned every man’s intentions? She released the curtains and let them fall back into place. Cathryn hadn’t the time or energy to think about it now. She had her small ones to hold her attention. Once William had one of his own, he would feel different.
* * * *
Days drifted into the gloom of December. She had only just placed Lucy back down for a nap when Sumner walked into the room.
A shiver of dread crawled up Cathryn’s spine. A strange expression came over his face. Never had she seen him look so desolate.
“Come with me.” She led out of the nursery into the anteroom. “Tell me, Sumner. What is wrong?”
“It’s Randa,” he finally said. “She lost the baby. It was a girl. She had been ill before the delivery. Now she is bad sick, Cathryn. They don’t know if she will make it.” Pain seared into his face.
“You have to have faith she will survive, Sumner.”
“I don’t know. They wouldn’t let me see her,” he rambled incoherently. “I tried. I wanted her to know…”
“Sumner!” Cathryn exclaimed. “Why on earth would you have done such a thing? She’s married to William.”
He did not answer, but sat with his head in his hands.
“Why, Sumner?” she pressed. “Why would you do such?”
Slowly he raised his head. Tears escaped his eyes. “Because the babe was mine. She married William only because of it. I begged her to marry me! She couldn’t bring herself to do so because I was a bastard! She said her father would never have accepted me.”
Cathryn could find no words, but took her brother in her arms and rocked him. Her heart pained for him, knowing there would be no words to bring him comfort.
Chapter Sixteen
Cathryn watched with pride. Two years had passed since she had given birth. Her life in England had become a faded memory. She had settled peacefully into a sedate country life. Her battle for her inheritance continued, but she awaited word with optimism.
William guided her on every legal action. Moreover, Sumner seemed content that she had placed her faith in their friend. She reasoned that Sumner was a man of action, whereas William was a thinking man. Between the two she felt secure. Odd, neither Sumner nor William let the woman who stood between them dim their friendship.
Today was a celebration—the twins’ second birthday. The lawn was filled with surrounding neighbors and friend. It had become harder and harder to socialize without fear of repercussion. There was an edge to the community with its distinct sides—Loyalists and patriots. It had gotten to the degree that one didn’t even need an excuse for violence.
The animosity forgotten, at least for the day, Cathryn had had a new dress made for the occasion, a simple rose cotton dress with a white bodice and petticoat. She thought back to a time when she had a new dress for any event, but those days had passed.
A child’s screech made her turn. Lucy had caught sight of her uncle’s present to her. Sumner had brought out two ponies. She laughed watching her children run toward their prizes. Laughter filled the air.
Cathryn wasn’t certain the gifts were appropriate for their young age, but Sumner had rebuffed her protest. Lucy wanted a pony and had wiggled a promise out of her uncle. Cathryn hadn’t the heart to deny the twins.
Lucy had already climbed atop of the painted pony with Mary holding tight to her. Her pretty blue party dress hiked up above her knee, her little legs nudged the pony. To her annoyance, it made no movement. Mary seemed quite amused.
Philip wasn’t as demonstrative, but seemed delighted as his uncle placed him upon his black pony. The little one leaned over and hugged his pet.
“They seem pleased with their uncle’s gifts.”
Cathryn glanced up to see William. “He spoils them,” she said with a small laugh. “But I wasn’t going to be the wicked mother to refuse such.”
“No, I wouldn’t have enough courage to tell Lucy,” William said.
He moved over closer to her side. She took a step back. There were too many people about, including his wife. She caught sight of Randa standing under the old elm. She had accompanied her husband to the day’s festivities with the utmost reluctance.
Randa had made it clear to her husband she wanted nothing to do with Cathryn. She would never do so publically…not if she wanted to remain William’s wife. William’s patience had grown thin for his beautiful wife.
Randa was indeed a lovely woman, but there lay sadness in her eyes. Cathryn held no sympathy for her. Randa
had made the decisions that led to her situation and had done nothing to bring herself out of it.
Rather, she withdrew into a world of self-pity. Both men, the one she used and the other she had turned her back on, had turned from her. Although Cathryn had encouraged William to try…Randa was his wife and would remain so…William had been adamant there was nothing between the two except the rings upon their fingers.
But in truth, Randa now stood between William and Cathryn, not that she was in love with William, but William was safe. She could be content. Not that there had been anything inappropriate between them.
Not yet…only a small touch…a shared look. Cathryn had no desire for her relationship with William to change. She was content, but she realized he wanted more. If she gave him any encouragement, she held no doubt where the relationship would lead.
William leaned over for her ears only. “I have news.”
“From London?”
He nodded. “Would you like to wait until after the party?”
“Of course not,” she responded. She glanced toward the house. “I’m certain we could find a private spot to discuss it.”
Immediately, she regretted her words. He didn’t say a word, but all of a sudden, he looked…dangerous.
He gave her a small bow and his lips twisted into a smile. “A half an hour in the library. Can you come up with an excuse?”
She gave him no answer, but scurried down the small incline to the children. Lucy saw her mother first and screamed for her attention. Phillip made a small face as if he didn’t care. He had what he wanted and wasn’t coming off his pony.
Watching her children, a sensation swept through her. She was happy…truly happy, more so than she had been since before she had left for England.
Cathryn relieved Mary of her duty. It had to have been difficult to hold her fidgeting daughter upon her pony.
Mary relinquished her role without protest and eased over beside Sumner. She had turned seventeen not long since. She would never be considered a beauty in the classic sense, Cathryn supposed, but she had such appealing eyes that would draw one to give her another look. Not that Mary would look at anyone other than Sumner. And with that, Cathryn had chosen to look the other way.