by Neven Iliev
Yet despite all that, Boxxy remained perfectly unharmed.
“ … WHAT!”
Nagnamor stared dumbly at it. The flames in his eye sockets flickered a few times as if he was blinking in disbelief. He raised his weapon and once more swung down with all his might, but the result was pretty much the same. The third time did not pan out so well either.
“Sit down,” commanded the Mimic.
“DO NOT PRESUME TO GIVE ME –”
*SLAM*
Nagnamor’s gigantic ass met the ground with a massive impact that caused a small tremor to travel through the soil. It happened involuntarily, as if it someone else was in control of his body.
“ … WHAT!”
“Punch yourself.”
*SLAM*
The giant demon’s massive armoured fist made impact with his own skull, sending plumes of flames scattering about, nearly setting the forest on fire in the process.
“Again.”
*SLAM*
The second blow made his jawbone crack.
“And again.”
*SLAM*
And the third one broke off the horn on his snout.
“IM … POSSIBLE…” he muttered. “HOW ARE YOU DOING THIS!”
The Offering to Nagnamor was not that of a life, but a host. A physical body the powerful demon could possess in order to manifest himself in the physical realm. He would always appear in his true form and at the height of his power, but the amount of time he could maintain this state depended entirely on how much MP was used up in the ritual. Even if his visits to the mortal realm were short-lived, Nagnamor would be free to act as he pleased in order to make the most of them.
This time, however, was different.
The Mimic had realised two simple things during their brief conversation. The first was that it had been talking to this ‘Overlord’ though the thought-link normally reserved for its familiars. The second was that the notification confirming Xera had been banished from the physical realm never actually appeared. Trying to view her Status simply showed a screen with garbled nonsense and unknown symbols, but that wasn’t of particular concern.
Because the physical form of Xerababadubuth L’okrelaila had been taken over and transformed by Nagnamor, Overlord of the Flaming Legion. It was technically still the same body.
“I own you.”
And the stipulations of the summoning contract still applied to it.
Part Three
*Ring-ring*
Nagnamor could only maintain his physical form for about two minutes with the near 1,000 MP the Mimic supplied him with during the possession ritual. Once that was up, he would crumble into dust and disappear.
*Ring-ring*
That seemed to be the nature of how this particular ritual worked – the demon called forth from the Beyond would have tremendous power, but his body would deteriorate rapidly after a short while.
*Ring-ring*
The other Offering-type ritual the Mimic knew about – this one addressed to a being named Liusolra – would probably be the same. Unfortunately, it was quite a bit more involved, requiring more raw materials and multiple sacrifices to be made, so Boxxy couldn’t ‘whip it out’ to see what it was all about.
*Ring-ring*
It was ultimately all the same, though. Even if it was temporary, having a high-ranking demon’s servitude was simply a means to an end. Performing a ritual of that magnitude did wonders for its Demonology proficiency and it still had plenty of troll blood to go around. It had therefore repeated the Offering to Nagnamor a total of three times after the first and was currently getting ready for another encore.
*Ring-ring*
Snack seemed eager to complain about her role in it, though. Even Arms was trying to get her master to stop for some reason. As for Punchy, he was understandably the most pissed off of all and complained the loudest. However, all of them were summarily told to ‘shut their teeth-holes’ and were ignored completely as the stubborn box continued to do whatever it wanted.
*Ring-ring*
But the one thing that could not be ignored so easily was that constant ringing noise inside the Mimic’s mind. It had been going on for the last hour or so, pretty much ever since the first time Punchy’s physical body turned to dust. It obviously wasn’t going to be silenced as easily as Boxxy’s familiars, the Overlord included.
*Ring-ring*
The main reason it was so grating, however, was because this was different from a simple sound. It was as if something was poking at the monster’s mind directly in an effort to get its attention.
*Ring-ring*
Well, it didn’t seem like the sound would just go away on its own, and even a creature of near-infinite patience could only take so much damned ringing. So it made the inevitable decision to address the problem directly.
*Ring-ring*
Luckily for the simple crate, the knowledge regarding what to do popped up into its mind the instant it stopped forcibly ignoring it.
*Click*
“Yes?”
All it had to do was answer the call.
“Freaking finally!” came the gruff, raspy, and slightly annoyed voice from the Beyond. “Hey, buddy. It’s Carl from Demons ‘R’ Us.”
“Hi, Carl.”
This was the first time Demons ‘R’ Us had contacted the Mimic directly. Admittedly, this was only the fourth time the Mimic had spoken to the organization’s representative, but that was beside the point.
“What’s this about?” Boxxy asked.
“Yeaaaah … So, listen, I’m calling about the whole Overlord Nagnamor thing you’ve been getting up to. We’ve received some troubling complaints, and I need to get your side of the story. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”
“I’m busy.”
“I won’t stop ringing until you answer me, by the way.”
“ … Alright, I’m listening.”
“Okay, so! How exactly did you summon the Overlord into the physical realm?”
“I did the ritual.”
“Which one?”
“With the squiggles and the chanting and the stabbing.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific.”
Pretty much all demonic rituals involved at least one of those things. A lot of the time it was all three at once.
“It was the offering thingy.”
“Then it was the Offering to Nagnamor after all, huh?”
“Yes, that.”
*Taktaktak takataktakatak*
“And how did you fulfil the ‘pure maiden stabbed in the heart’ part of the ceremony?” asked Carl.
“I told Snack to do it.”
“I’m sorry, Snack?”
“Yes.”
“Who’s that?”
“My familiar.”
“Um, which one?”
“The one with the hair and the legs.”
Carl took a deep breath before he continued. It was a matter of professional pride that he didn’t allow himself to scream at the deranged toddler.
“The blue or red one?” he asked after reconsidering his approach.
“Blue.”
*Tak tak tatatak takatak*
“Okay, and how do you suppose a succubus qualifies as a ‘pure maiden?’”
“She’s a female that wasn’t poisoned or diseased. She was also clean. Before the blood, at least.”
“Oh wow … Okay, it’s starting to make sense now.”
The thing about magic was that it relied heavily on the mind. Spells had a precise formula to them, so different people would get very similar results when casting the same one. The only real difference in that situation would be the magnitude of the magic invoked, barring the effects of Skills like Crystallize Magic. Rituals and such, however, were more freeform and could be easily influenced by one’s perception and preconceptions. To put it another way, if the Mimic who didn’t know any better sincerely believed that Xera was ‘pure,’ then she would be ‘pure.’ At least for the sake o
f completing the ritual.
“Leave it to those fucking idiots to leave in a loophole like that,” Carl mumbled under his breath.
“Hm?”
“Ah, don’t mind that. What about the heart part?”
“Made Snack grow one.”
*Taktak tak ta–*
“Wait, what? But succubi shouldn’t be able to change their insides to that degree!”
“Yeah. Had to show her how to make one from her skin. Because she’s stupid.”
“Wai-wai-wait, you ordered your familiar … to grow a heart on the outside of her body?”
“Yes.”
“Holy shit! I never would’ve even thought of that! That’s actually kind of impressive, in its own way!”
*Taktak tak tak tatatatak tak*
“Okay,” continued Carl, “and what was your purpose in summoning Nagnamor?”
“I wanted Skill proficiency for Demonology.”
“What, just that?”
“Yes.”
“No kingdoms you wanted toppled or ancient beings of terrible power to suppress?”
“Nope.”
“I see … Hold, please.”
*Boop*
An odd sound started playing inside the Mimic’s head. It wasn’t like anything the monster had ever heard before, but it was actually quite pleasant. Ah, this must be that music thing it vaguely knew about. Who knew sound could be so tasty? It sat there enjoying the tune for several minutes before Carl came back on the line.
*Boop*
“I apologize for that. Would you forward me your Status, please?”
“Okay, sending.”
“Ah, I see you got a na– Boxxy T. Morningwood? Pft! Hold, please! Kuhaha–”
*Boop*
Well, this was unlike Carl. Usually the demon was quick and to the point about demon-related business. It wasn’t like Boxxy had anywhere to go, though. It was currently gathering up mana for the next ritual and the music was tasty anyway, so it didn’t particularly mind waiting.
*Boop*
“Phew … Again, sorry about that Mister Morningw– *Cough* Morningwood.”
“Just Boxxy’s fine.”
The animate chest didn’t mind being called ‘Mister Morningwood,’ but Carl seemed unable to say it with a straight face for some reason. This irked the monster somewhat. If he wasn’t going to say the name properly, then he shouldn’t be saying it at all.
“Right then. See here, Boxxy, I’m gonna be straight with you. You can’t summon Overlord Nagnamor using your demon as collateral.”
“Why not?”
“It violates part of the summoning contract. The one where you promise to safeguard your familiar’s immortal soul against harm.”
Come to think of it, Xera was talking about her ego being consumed by Nagnamor’s terrible will or something like that. Boxxy didn’t see how that was an issue, so it just kept doing what it wanted as usual.
“I know you probably don’t understand,” Carl added, “so I’ll clarify. Cramming two demons into the same physical vessel like that? Worst case scenario: both of them could get fragmented or malformed. That wasn’t what you were trying to do, right?”
“No.”
“Good, cuz that’d be bad.”
“How bad?”
“We’d have to kill you.”
“That’s bad.”
“Indeed.”
“I understand. I’ll stop using Snack to summon Punchy.”
“Punchy?”
“Yeah. The big one with the head and the arms. He punches himself real good,” said Boxxy with a hint of admiration.
“Uh-huh. So listen, there’s one more thing I need to talk to you about. I don’t know what you made the Overlord do over there and I have no intention of prying, but he’s threatening to quit being an officer in the Demon King’s army if he so much as smells you again. I doubt he’d actually do it, but we here at Demons ‘R’ Us want to make extra sure that doesn’t happen. That’s why we’re prepared to offer you a deal.”
“A deal?”
“That’s right. You have to agree that you’ll never perform the Offering to Nagnamor ever again, regardless of who or what your sacrifice is. In return, we’ll provide you with a one-time boost of Demonology Proficiency up to Level 5.”
“Okay. I accept.”
“Alright. Hold, please.”
Of course it agreed. Increasing Demonology Levels was the reason Boxxy was doing this whole thing in the first place, so getting what it wanted with less work was not a bad thing. It was downright tasty, as a matter of fact. Besides, it took a whole lot of time and preparation to summon Punchy and it only lasted a few minutes. Even if the performance was excellent, his mileage was pretty bad.
“There, all set. I’ve added our agreement to your summoning contract. You should be getting your compensation shortly.”
[Proficiency level increased. Demonology is now Level 5. WIS +4. MNT +4.]
“I got it.”
“Good, that’s great. Phew! Hey, thanks for agreeing to that. I gotta say, it’s so much easier working with you than my regular clients.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You’re uncomplicated and straightforward. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to those edgy idiots I have to work with usually. Always with the stupid comments like ‘You shall not pass!’ and ‘You have no power here!’ It’s like those dumbasses didn’t even properly read the summoning contract!”
Carl spent a few more minutes complaining about other Warlocks. Boxxy didn’t really mind since it was fairly interesting listening to him.
“– and then he went and did it anyway! Can you believe that?”
“I guess?”
“Look, what I’m trying to say is, it’s honestly refreshing to work with someone like you. This whole thing would’ve been a laugh if it wasn’t for the actual Demon King breathing down my neck. Anyway, sorry for that little rant; I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately.”
“It’s alright.”
Carl let out another tired sigh before he moved on to wrapping up his service call.
“So, just so we’re clear – do not ever use that ritual again. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“And don’t use your familiars as sacrifices ever again, either! That’s the important thing here! We wouldn’t give a flying fuck if your rectangular ass died out there, but if a demon bites the big one because of your antics then even killing you 100,000 times wouldn’t be enough payback! Understood?”
It was important to keep in mind that the summoning contract was indeed a partnership and not outright slavery. Generally speaking, what happened to a demon’s physical form didn’t matter to an immortal being in the grand scheme of things, but endangering the integrity of their soul was another story. It was the one thing that must never, under any circumstances, be tampered with. If that clause was violated, then their contractor getting killed would just be the beginning of his or her punishment. What followed next would be … well, suffice it to say oblivion would be a much more preferable option.
“You’re lucky we caught this thing early,” Carl said. “Another ten or so more rituals and the soul of Xerababadubuth L’okrelaila would have suffered irreversible damage, and you’d have been on your way to eternal torment!”
“ … Carl, is my contract in danger?”
“Nah, you’re fine. It’s not like you were doing it on purpose. Besides, you cooperated readily, and both of your familiars testified as to your, uh, character. Therefore, the higher-ups have agreed to let you off with just a stern warning.”
So it seemed that Demons ‘R’ Us was going to take Boxxy’s actions as a simple misunderstanding rather than malicious intent.
“I see. Thanks, Carl.”
“Sure, just try and avoid pissing off my boss any more, yeah? Or else he might seriously terminate you.”
“How do I do that?”
“Ah, that’s actually pretty easy. You just keep doing what you do, only without
the two things we talked about just now. Like, for real – don’t. And don’t take so long to answer if we’re the ones calling you, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Good, good. Haaah. ‘Kay, bye!”
*Click*
Well, that conversation was educational. Boxxy nearly stepped on quite the landmine there due to its own ignorance, but things had more or less worked out for the best.
“Alright, Snack, you can get down from there. Arms, untie her.”
“Oh thank fuck!” said Xera. “I really don’t know how much longer I could take sharing a body with that insufferable asshole!”
“Hey, come on,” Kora complained as she untied the succubus from the stake. “Uncle Naggy isn’t that bad.”
“Yes he is! The whole reason he wanted a ‘pure maiden’ is because – wait, uncle? He’s your kin?”
“Yeah. He’s the eldest of my dad’s forty-nine siblings. I only met him once or twice though.”
“Wow, that kind of makes things a lot worse.”
“What do you mean?”
“The first thought he had when he saw you was how he’d like to, and I’m quoting his head here, ‘split that fine ass on his dick.’”
“Oh! That’s high praise coming from an archfiend!”
“It is?”
“Of course!”
“…”
“Oy! Don’t give me that disgusted look! If a fiend says they want to stick it up your butt, it means they think highly of you!”
“Wow,” the succubus exclaimed, shaking her head. “I always suspected your kind were idiots, but that’s just ridiculous. What sort of twisted logic considers anal rape a sign of affection?”
“Who knows?” answered Kora with a shrug. “Probably the same kind that actively craves it like you do.”
“ … Yeah, okay. You got me there … Wait a minute! Is that why you’ve done me exclusively in the rear these past few days?!”
“What can I say? I’ve grown to like – no, that’s not quite right. I tolerate you more than I thought I would. Even if you’re a succubus, you’re incredibly slutty and your insides feel fantastic. Can’t help but grow attached to a girl like that!”