I went through the bag that Jason had brought me. It was basically just clothes and things. All except the one thing I really wanted. I pulled out the jewelry box and went to sit next to Maddy. They say, when a person is unconscious they can still hear you talking to them and it helps, so that was what I planned to do. I sat down next to her in the chair and grabbed her hand.
“So, when we were at my dad’s house at Christmas, he pulled me aside. He told me that he had saved my mom’s ring for when someone special came along and he knew they would cherish it as much as he did. Well, he knew how much we loved each other, and he loves you too. He gave me this ring and told me, when I was ready to ask you, he would be honored if I gave you my mom’s ring. All the times I had envisioned doing this, I had never thought it would be in a hospital room and that you would be unconscious.”
I took a deep breath and hoped that she could hear every word I was saying. “I love you so much, Madison. I love the smile you get when I give you a first. I love how much you have opened up to me and trust me. You are the reason that I breathe, and when I thought you were gone, I was lost. You are my entire world. I swear, as soon as you wake up, there won’t be a second of your life that you don’t know it. I know you always thought that I had saved you, but you were the one who saved me. You saved me from a life without love, and you filled this last year of my life with some of the best memories I could hope for. I cannot wait to make you mine in front of everyone, and spend the rest of our lives together. All you need to do now is open your eyes, baby. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”
I slipped the ring onto her left hand and kissed it. Just then, I heard movement behind me and saw three nurses standing there wiping tears from their eyes. Well, at least someone was here to enjoy my proposal.
Jason
Why in the hell did I volunteer to have her stay at my place? I could have easily just taken her to Carter’s house, but no, I’m having her stay here in my apartment. Meanwhile, I couldn’t fucking stop thinking about getting back inside her.
I knew I was hurting her with all this back and forth shit. I couldn’t stay away from her, but at the same time, I was just no good for her. I knew she didn’t get it and she thought I was just being a dick, but if I didn’t care, then I wouldn’t worry whether or not I was good for her.
“Hey, J?”
I looked up and she was staring at me. “Yeah?”
“Listen, I know you probably meant well by offering, but if having me here is going to make things awkward, I don’t have to stay.”
“No, it’s cool, Nic. I’m sorry, it’s just been a really long day.”
She sat down next to me and put her hand on my shoulder. “I know you said you saw everything when it happened. Do you wanna talk about it?”
I ran my hands over my face and looked up at her. “It’s my fault she was in that wreck, Nic. I was late, I wasn’t there when Chris got there.”
“Jason, if you had been there you might have been hurt like Carter was. Chris was on a mission tonight and I doubt anybody could have stopped him.”
She was wrong. I would have stopped that motherfucker. “I know that in the end it was Chris’ fault, but knowing that she was going through that alone is killing me. I should have been there, and I wasn’t. The thing that is really making me crazy is to know that I missed being there for her, just because I was on a date with some fucking bimbo.”
Her head snapped up and she shot me a look. “I’m sorry. You were doing what?”
Shit. I looked at her and couldn’t tell if she was pissed or hurt. Then her hand came flying up and smacked me across the cheek. Pissed. She was definitely pissed.
“Are you fucking kidding me, J? You were on a date? Yet, every time I talk to you, you give me some bullshit line about not being ready! I’m going to shower, go to bed, and when I get up in the morning, I’m getting the fuck out of here!” She grabbed her purse, stormed off to the bathroom, and slammed the door.
I really stuck my foot in my mouth this time. I knew what she was thinking, that she wasn’t good enough or I didn’t care enough. Both of them were so far from the truth. I went out with that chick tonight hoping to get Nic out of my mind. I had tried so many different things and different girls to try to get her out of my mind. It was like she had crawled inside of me and refused to leave. I heard the shower turn on and all I could think about was her wet and naked in my bathroom.
I was already getting hard just picturing her in there. I knew that this was not something she needed right now, and I didn’t even know if it was something she would want. I grabbed the cushions underneath me as a way to keep myself from getting up and going in there. That lasted for a couple of minutes, then I was walking to the bathroom leaving a trail of my clothes. I opened the door quietly and climbed into the shower behind her.
She was washing her hair, so her eyes were closed and all I could do was stare at her. When she opened them, she let out a scream. “What the fuck are you doing in here?”
I couldn’t even form any words. I just walked up closer to her, and noticed that she was breathing hard. I wrapped my hand around her neck and crushed my mouth to hers. I ran my tongue along her bottom lip, begging her to open her mouth for me, then I slid my other hand down to grab her ass. She let out a moan and it gave me the space I needed.
I plunged my tongue into her, kissing her like I needed her to live. She put her hands onto my chest and circled her fingers around my nipples. Next thing I knew, she grabbed both of them and twisted, hard. “What the fuck, Nic?”
“Do you really think that you can come in here and just expect to have your way with me after that shit in there?” This girl was absolutely fucking nuts, and I loved it. I walked closer to her again and backed her against the tile wall. “You need to just—”
I clamped my hand over her mouth so I could get a word in. “Will you just let me talk for a fucking minute?” I was so close to her I could feel her heart racing. She nodded her head yes and I removed my hand.
I put both of my hands on the sides of her face and rested my forehead against hers. She placed both of her hands on my hips and we just stared at each other, with the shower pouring over both of us.
“I get why you’re pissed, trust me, I do. You need to know, though, that the girl I was with didn’t matter. I didn’t even remember her name by the end of the date and nothing happened between us. I went out with her to get you out of my head. You’re always there, Nic. No matter what or who I do, you are always there. I know I’m not good for you, but truthfully, I really don’t know how much longer I can stay away. You make me so fucking crazy, but the truth is that I can’t get enough of it. I—”
This time it was her who attacked my mouth. She wrapped her hands around my neck and I instinctively braced my hands against the wall. The next thing I knew, her legs were wrapped around my waist and I was so close to her pussy I could feel it throbbing. I loved how bad she wanted me and that she wasn’t afraid to show it.
“Jason, I need you. I want you, now.”
That was all that she needed to say. I pulled back a little, then slammed myself into her. “Fuck!”
I was pounding into her so hard, and from the sounds of it, she was loving it. Nicole was the only one who could do this to me. I knew she was close, because she started digging her nails into my back. When she came, she screamed my name and that, along with the fact that her pussy was squeezing my dick, sent me over the top.
We stood there panting and holding each other for about ten minutes before we let go and started to get washed.
Nicole
I couldn’t believe he had the nerve to come into the shower and do that! Although, I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t enjoy it. I didn’t know what it was about him, but when he’s that close to me it was like my brain goes to mush. He was the most frustrating man I had ever met and I thought I was falling for him. God, I was an idiot.
We went to his room after, and lay down, both of us s
pent from everything that happened. “Nic, do you want me to go out on the couch?”
“Well, considering you just manhandled me in the shower, I think it’s safe to say I don’t mind sharing a bed with you.” He laughed and wrapped his arm around me, pulling me to his chest.
“You tired?”
I was, but I had Jason to myself and he seemed like he was in a talking mood. I was not about to give that up. “Not really. You wanna talk a little bit?” Please say yes!
“Sure, I guess.”
All right, there was no reason to dance around it. “Why are you so against commitment?”
“Damn, you went right in for the kill.” He took a deep breath and pulled me closer to him. “All right, I guess at this point I might as well just get it out there. When I was younger, my sister died in a car accident. I guess my mom kinda freaked out. When my dad and I were out of the house one day, she just left. No note, no goodbye, nothing. She was just gone. My dad says it’s ‘cause she couldn’t stand the sight of us anymore. Ever since then, I have been determined not to let anyone get close. The less people I let in, the less of a chance I have of getting hurt.”
I looked up at him and he had his eyes closed. I could tell this wasn’t something that was easy for him.
“You are the only girl I have ever met that has been able to get under my skin and make me want more. It scares the shit out of me. That’s why I have been so reluctant with you. I don’t want to let you in, but at this point, I don’t know if I have much of a choice.”
“Jason, I know that it must have been so hard on you, having your mom leave. You have to know, though, that it wasn’t your fault. You were an innocent bystander in a shitty situation. I’m not just going to up and leave without a goodbye. I have been waiting for you to come to your senses since New Year’s.”
He leaned down and kissed me and we laid there in each other’s arms for the rest of the night.
Carter
Waiting for Maddy to wake up was torture. I really didn’t know how much more I could take. If I knew where in this hospital that bastard was, he wouldn’t take another breath. Apparently, he was thrown from the car, but some bushes broke his fall. I had never hated nature more. He deserved to die for everything he put her through.
Looking at her lying in this bed was enough to kill me. I just needed her to open her eyes and let me know that everything would be okay. The doctors said that she’d wake up when she was ready to, but the fact that she wasn’t, was really starting to worry me. It had been three days since the accident, three days since I had seen her eyes, three days since I had heard her voice, and three days since I had been able to function normally.
My dad came by yesterday and brought Maddy some flowers. The whole family had been planning to come up anyway, to look at houses for Holly and her friend Christen to rent. Christen’s parents were really overprotective and refused to let her stay in the dorms. She didn’t want to live alone, so they agreed to let Holly live with her free of charge.
I barely held it together while they were all here. Seeing people coming to visit her made this even more real. Now, I was just sitting here alone next to Maddy’s bed, waiting for the moment that I could see her again. All I could think about was our first date on her birthday. She was so happy that day, and I was so happy to be able to be there and make it special for her. Every moment that I had gotten to spend with her constantly played through my mind.
Nicole and Jason had been here every day, and I thought they had finally come to their senses. Having someone you love in the hospital like this really puts things into perspective.
The only thing I was dreading when Maddy woke up, was telling her about the baby. I knew that it would have been hard and we weren’t ready, but that baby would have been loved. It was going to break her heart when I told her about it, but I also knew I needed to be the one to do it, not her doctor.
I laid my head down on her hand and was about to try and get some sleep, when I felt her fingers brush through my hair. My head shot up to look at her, but her eyes were still closed. Maybe I was so tired I imagined it. I laid my head back down. A few minutes later, though, I felt it again. It was slight, but I felt her fingers move.
“Maddy! Baby, I’m here, open your eyes.” No response. “Come on, Maddy, I love you. Please open your eyes and let me see you. I’ve missed you so much.” Her hand squeezed mine. “I feel you, babe, now just open your eyes.”
I saw some movement behind her eyelids and then, slowly, she started to open them. She immediately closed them. Maybe the light was too bright. “I’m going to shut the light off, baby, just hold on.”
I shut the light off, hoping that this would help. When I walked back over to the bed, I grabbed her hand, willing her to open her eyes again. She tried again. This time, the light wasn’t on to hinder her. It took a couple of tries, but she finally opened her eyes and looked at me. I swear I thought my heart stopped for a minute. This was all I had been praying for since the accident.
“Hey, baby, I’m so glad you’re back. I’m going to call the doctor in so they can check you out.” I pushed the call button, and waited for the nurse.
“Carter?” Her voice sounded so weak, and it hurt me just to hear it like that.
“I’m here, Maddy, I’m not going anywhere. Do you need anything? How about some water?” She nodded her head yes and I went to grab a cup. Just then, her nurse walked in. “She just woke up. Am I allowed to give her something to drink?”
“Sure, sweetie, just water for right now though, okay?”
I nodded and grabbed Maddy some water while the nurse checked her out. When I gave her the water, she drank all of it and then smiled at me. God, I missed seeing her smile. I leaned down to kiss her, because right now it was the only thing I wanted to do. When I pulled back, she smiled at me and lifted her hand up to my face.
Just then, she looked at her left hand and noticed the ring. My heart stopped, because I really didn’t know how she would react. She looked back and forth between her hand and me, and I couldn’t tell whether she was confused or happy.
“Carter, what is this?”
I smiled at her. “Well, I don’t know if I could top what I said the first time, but I’ll give it a try.” I grabbed her hand in mine and knelt down beside her bed. “Maddy, this was my mom’s wedding ring. My dad gave it to me when we went to visit after Christmas, because he knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you more than anything in this world. You are my reason for living, and for the past three days all I could think of was what I would do if you didn’t make it. I would be nothing without you. Ever since you ran into me that first day, I felt like you gave me something I didn’t know was missing, something I didn’t even know I wanted. You are my everything, and if you will let me, I want to spend the rest of your life making you happy.”
She looked at me in disbelief and I think if she didn’t answer me soon I would pass out. “Yes.”
Did she just say yes? She did! I was smiling so hard that it hurt. I jumped up and kissed her, pouring every ounce of love I had into it, so she had no doubt how much I loved her. I heard a sound behind me and turned around. Maddy’s nurse was watching us and crying.
I smiled back at her. “Well, was it as good as the first one?”
She walked over to me and gave me a hug, then looked back and forth between the two of us. “I hope the both of you have a long happy life together, because you deserve it. And you, mister better stop making me cry on the job, these people are going to think I’m losing it!” We all laughed, and she started to leave. “I’ll let the doctor know that you are up and he will be in.”
I turned back to Maddy and pulled over the chair to sit down next to her. “How do you feel?”
“Um, truthfully, like crap. Can you tell me what happened?”
I was not ready to do this, but I know she needed to hear about all of the injuries, and now I was going to have to tell her about the baby. “Well, when they broug
ht you in, they had to take you right into surgery. They said you had some internal bleeding, which they stopped. Your shoulder was dislocated, your arm was fractured, you have a couple bruised ribs, but other than that just minor cuts and bruises.” Now, comes the part that I don’t know how to do. ”Babe, did you know you were pregnant?”
Maddy
Carter knew? Of course he did, the hospital would have told him. I wondered if he was happy, or disappointed. Wait a minute, he said “were.” The realization washed over me. Even if the baby survived the accident, I didn’t think it would have survived me getting surgery.
Oh my God, I lost the baby.
I started sobbing, because I didn’t know what else to do at this point. I never even got the chance to tell Carter, or see the baby on an ultrasound. I never even knew when I would have been due, or if it would have been a boy or girl. I had a life growing inside of me and now all I felt was empty.
Why? Why did I have to lose it? Was it because I would have been a horrible mother? Didn’t I deserve a chance to try, a chance to love my baby? Carter wrapped his arms around me, but I felt numb. I didn’t know what to do or how to act. I just wanted to go to sleep and not think, not feel, not remember any of this.
“Baby, it’s okay. We will get through this and I am here for you.”
I knew he would be, he always was. I just didn’t know who I would be after all of this was over.
The doctor came in and went over everything with me. He said they wanted to keep me for observation for at least two days, but after that I could go home.
Nicole, Jason, Shawn, Holly, Anthony, and Carter’s dad all came by to see me, but I barely remembered talking to any of them. I felt like I was just going through the motions at this point. Just trying to make it through the day.
I hated that everyone knew what happened and I hated that they looked at me with pity. I smiled at everyone and tried to carry on conversations, but it had all been a blur. The only thing clear in my head right now was that I felt empty.
Breaking Through the Wall (Guarded Hearts Book 2) Page 3