by Bryce Oakley
Zoey hadn't done many television promos — had the Shrikes done them at all for Heart's Content? It was so many years ago, she couldn't remember anymore.
Domino and Sabrina were playing air hockey with enough gusto for the puck to fly across the room — it had, twice — and Billie and Vero were snuggled up on a couch watching something on Vero's phone.
Meg was curled up next to her, asleep inside of an oversized hoodie.
Micah, their manager, was on the phone in the corner, fixing her lipstick in a mirror.
Promotional tours were exhausting. Shows often had way earlier start times than she was used to, and they never got to pause. At least this first stop was in LA, so they didn't have to fly to NYC quite yet. They'd be there soon for both the Sirius XM and Spotify appearances and shows in June.
Zoey tapped her foot nervously on the floor. She stood, pacing around the snack table, taking the occasional pretzel to keep it from looking like she was a ball of frantic energy.
In truth, no one in the band had noticed that Zoey couldn't sit still. They had noticed that in their private rehearsals for the show, Zoey was totally off.
It wasn't even like they were singing ‘Midnight’. They were singing one of Domino and Billie's co-writes, ‘Kaleidoscope’, which was also the name of the new album.
Zoey picked up a small bundle of grapes, then set them down. She grabbed a La Croix sitting in an ice bucket, but put it back.
"You doing okay?" Micah asked, appearing suddenly beside her.
Zoey jumped, startled by woman's stealthy moves. "Yeah, totally fine," she said automatically.
"You seem nervous. What's up?" Micah continued.
"Just kept getting that bridge wrong in rehearsal. Feeling a little nervous about it," Zoey lied.
In truth, even though it had been five months since she had seen Pia or spoken to her, she was still looking forward to seeing her.
She didn't understand the bundle of nerves in her stomach that dominated the early months of the year.
It wasn't like she had feelings for Pia or anything. She had even desperately gone on one date with a very nice man who had proclaimed that he didn’t like pho as they were sitting down to eat pho.
What kind of monster didn’t like pho?
Maybe she was projecting the nerves from creating a new album onto a safer problem.
She was not a lesbian; she would never date Pia Marino.
So, then, it wasn't as though it posed any real risk to her life to have a tiny bit of a crush, right?
"Hmm," Micah said simply, grabbing a cupcake off of the table. "Need some sugar?"
Zoey shook her head. She envisioned all of the dresses she'd have to fit into for upcoming promotional photo shoots. Not only that, she needed to look calm and collected when seeing Pia again for the first time.
She returned to her seat beside Meg, who was happily snoring away. Meg's pink hair peeked out from the edge of the hood of her jacket.
"You'll be fine," Billie said.
Zoey hadn't even realized she had overheard the conversation. "Uh, thanks," she said, trying to keep her head clear.
The last thing she needed was to psych herself out unnecessarily.
She went through the details of the day's appearance in her mind, as she always did before a big event.
They were going to perform ‘Kaleidoscope’. Then, they were going to have a brief interview.
Pia was really giving them a ton of airtime, and she was grateful.
She knew that both Sabrina and Vero had connections to Pia, but it felt almost personal, the way that they were getting the star treatment without exactly being the Jonas Brothers or Lady Gaga.
Still, hadn't Pia said that The Shrikes were her favorite band?
Or was she just flirting with Zoey in order to steal a kiss?
A knock sounded on the door, and Zoey glanced up to see which producer was going to pop in. They had met three just that morning.
Instead, she was shocked to see that it was Pia. The woman looked radiant, even though it was only around 7am. She was wearing a blue blazer and jeans that skimmed her slim hips. She looked simultaneously like the boss and a brunch date.
Zoey mentally cursed at the fact that she hadn't even been to hair and makeup yet.
Wait, why did that matter?
She pushed aside the thought.
Seeing Pia now brought back a wave of attraction and awe and intrigue.
"I just wanted to come by and say hello," Pia said, stepping into the room.
Zoey reached and shook Meg awake.
Meg made a confused noise, wiping at drool on her chin.
Micah stepped up first. "We wanted to thank you so much for having us. We're all huge fans, and it means a lot for you to welcome us so warmly," she said diplomatically.
"We're so excited to debut the first single here," Billie said, standing next to Micah.
Vero stood and gave Pia a warm hug.
Sabrina walked over and gave Pia a quick hug. Domino followed close behind.
Zoey was paralyzed on the couch, and before she knew it, she was the only one not standing politely to talk to Pia.
Her mouth went dry. She realized she was clutching the arm of the couch.
A producer popped her head in. "We're five minutes away from needing the band for a final soundcheck and run through," she said.
Pia nodded, turning back to the group. "I really am a huge fan, and I'm so sorry that I can't spend more time with you this morning, but I did want to invite you all out to the ranch for dinner tonight," she said.
Billie quickly looked over at Micah, as though to ask if their schedules would allow it.
Pia winked at Micah, who smiled. "I think we can fit it in," she said.
Ah, so Micah had already known about the invitation, but wanted Pia to invite them in person. Crafty.
Zoey immediately wanted to come up with an excuse to bail out of it. Should she fake a stomach ache? A headache? A broken ankle? The last one would take some serious commitment.
Pia turned and looked at her, almost surprised to see her still sitting. Pia reached out a hand. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you," she said.
Zoey shook her hand, no longer positive she could communicate in the English language. Instead, she nodded. "Yeah," she finally said.
She wanted to kick herself. Yeah?
"Thank you for having us," she added quickly.
"It's a shame y'all aren't playing ‘Midnight’. I love ‘Kaleidoscope’, but ‘Midnight’ is my favorite from that review copy you so generously sent over after my relentless begging. Oh, but I also really like ‘Jealous Heart’. It's hard not to pick them all. It's a fantastic album. But I do think ‘Midnight’ is my favorite," Pia said, looking around at the rest of the band, like she didn't know damn well that ‘Midnight’ was about her.
Billie smiled warmly. "That's Zoey's song. We're so proud to incorporate more of Zoey and Meg's unique and beautiful voices into the album," she said officially, as if quoting a press release.
Pia nodded, then turned to Zoey again with a grin. "Gorgeous work."
The producer knocked again and opened the door. "Alright, sound check and run through, then off to styling," she said, flipping a page on a clipboard.
"See you out there," Pia said, giving a wave and bowing out of the room.
Six pairs of eyes instantly landed on Zoey.
"Oooh, her favorite," Domino teased.
Sabrina laughed. "I think someone has a little crush," she said.
"What? I do not," Zoey snapped.
Sabrina laughed harder, as though she was surprised.
Domino tilted her head. "I think she meant Pia, straight girl."
Zoey rolled her eyes. "Sorry, that was so weird," she said, wiping her clammy palms on her jeans.
She noticed both Meg and Vero were giving her interested looks, but Domino, Sabrina, and Billie were in their own world, laughing about something Zoey hadn't heard.
"It's goo
d to have friends in high places," Micah said, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "Now get out there, my little fledglings," she said, pushing them out through the door and following close behind.
Zoey would never get used to how bright studio lights were. When she was watching television, she'd have never guessed that literally everyone on stage had the shining power of a thousand suns bearing down on them.
She tried not to squint as they sat on the sofa, giving their interview.
"Why the long break between albums?" Pia asked, but her tone was good-natured.
"We wanted to make sure we were growing as people as well as musicians. Our world had been turned upside down quickly after Heart's Content, and so we took some time to reacquaint ourselves with the reason we make music," Billie said with a picture-perfect smile.
Domino added, "We wanted the new album to be a reflection of who we are as artists, and it turns out, that takes a little bit of time. Our fans are honestly the best fans in the world, so we prayed that they'd stick with us, and it kind of looks like they have." She looked out at the audience with a shy wave, which made everyone laugh.
They were so natural at this, and even though Zoey had so much more experience, she was so off her game in front of Pia that it was embarrassing.
"Meg, I'm so curious to know where all of this lyrical talent came from," Pia said.
"Me too!" Meg said with a giggle.
Pia laughed, surprised. "Have you always been a songwriter? What made you want to add that talent to this album?"
Meg blushed. "For our first album, I think that Zoey and I quickly realized that Billie and Domino are forces to be reckoned with when it came to creativity. We kind of let them push the ship off the shore, so to speak, because they're so talented. And I think that for this album, we had that solid foundation to give us the confidence to lean into different roles."
Pia smiled. "I can't imagine a group of more confident women," she said, and the audience burst into applause.
Zoey watched as Meg, Billie, and Domino lit up with smiles.
Why was she so off her game?
"And Zoey, we knew you were good with your hands," Pia started, but then paused, her eyes widening.
"Oh?" Zoey answered quickly, her eyebrows raising.
Domino burst into loud laughter, Meg quickly following suit.
Pia laughed, holding a hand over her eyes. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that." She threw herself back in the chair as laughter shook her shoulders.
The audience laughed along with her as one of the producers sat on the edge of the stage, shaking her head, but she had an amused expression on her face, at least.
"Holy shit," Domino said, laughing, holding her stomach.
Even Billie was trying to suppress a grin.
Zoey tried to maintain her cool and casual air by leaning back and grinning mischievously, giving a small shrug of her shoulders. Her cheeks warmed with a blush she hoped wasn’t too obvious.
"Okay, Kell, we're going to cut that, right?" Pia said, turning to the producer.
The producer shrugged. "Guess we'll have to, P-Dogg,” she said dryly.
Pia shook her head. "Ugh, I'm sorry," she said, still laughing and wiping at her eyes.
"It's okay," Zoey said, and then she comically winked at Pia. Winked! Like some saucy minx!
Pia laughed again.
Domino looked between Pia and Zoey as if recognizing something — her eyes squinted just slightly, and her brow dipped, as if she was concentrating.
"Okay, let's back up," Pia said. She straightened her posture on the chair. "Oh my gosh, what were we even talking about?" She asked, turning back to the producer.
Fifteen minutes later, they were on the side stage, performing.
Zoey felt at home behind a keyboard. She had chosen really cute boots to wear under flared velvet pants as though her usual aesthetic was "Mick Jagger and Stevie Nicks had a love child."
"And I ain't some girl in your DMs," Billie sang, shaking her head. "You can spy my heart through a prism."
It was a fun, upbeat, sassy song that really set the tone for the new album. Where Heart's Content was an album that lay bare the emotions of the Rush sisters, Kaleidoscope was a chance to delve deeper into the ever-changing and ever-emerging thoughts and emotions and psyches of all of the band members.
Zoey made the slight mistake of glancing over to see Pia watching her intensely as she played the last few notes of the song. She had no smile on her face. She simply watched with the stare that made Zoey feel as though she was her prey. Zoey swallowed, trying to focus. She was usually so zen when performing, as though she was in a trance. But it was just like Pia to throw her right off.
She finished the last note of the song relatively unscathed, and the audience stood, cheering and clapping.
Zoey's face split into a smile of sheer relief.
"That was The Shrikes. Their album is out everywhere on June 29th," Pia announced as the producers signaled a commercial break.
Pia joined the group on stage, shaking their hands.
"That was so good," Pia said enthusiastically, patting Domino on the shoulder. Pia pulled Billie into a warm hug.
Even Meg was all smiles as she shook Pia's hand.
Zoey was the last to join the group, walking slowly in her heeled boots. Pia took her hand, holding it firmly. Then, as if holding the woman's hand wasn't bad enough, Pia reached and put her arm on Zoey's shoulder.
"Gorgeous," Pia said, her expression unreadable while her eyes felt as though they were seeing straight through Zoey’s body and into her soul. "See you tonight, then?"
Zoey balked. "What?"
"At the ranch. For dinner?" Pia said, leaning in close to be heard.
Zoey blinked, nodding mutely.
"See you then," Pia said, turning to walk off the stage.
Back in the green room, Zoey reached for a bottle of cold water and began chugging it.
"So, care to fill in the group?" Sabrina said, crossing her arms.
Zoey turned to see all of the women in the room watching her.
"What?" She asked, as though she had no idea what Sabrina could be talking about.
"Why was I getting Pia and Zoey vibes out there?" Meg asked.
"No way," Vero said, shaking her head. "Pia's just affectionate."
Zoey nearly laughed, but took a deep breath through her nose to avoid it.
"Yeah, I was getting a strange signal on my gaydar out there," Domino said, wrapping an arm around Sabrina's waist.
"Well, your gaydar needs to be recalibrated," Zoey said, forcing herself to stay calm and not rise to the occasion. The last thing she needed was to be taunted about having a crush on a woman. And they would taunt her, relentlessly. They were bad enough when it was a guy she was dating, but if they had even the tiniest inkling of her feelings...
She straightened her posture. "Projecting much?" She asked Meg with a wink.
Meg laughed. "In my dreams!" She said.
"Same," Vero said, and when Billie's jaw dropped, Vero shrugged. "What? I have eyes, Wilhelmina."
Chapter Four
Pia
Pia watched as her housekeeper, Jenny, opened the door to a large group. She was standing in the sunken living room of her home, which she affectionately called The Ranch. It was a sprawling 70s estate tucked into the Malibu hills.
After Elle died, she was desperate to move into a new home. It felt wrong to be in the home they had shared together, where she had found Elle dead. It was the style of home that Elle would have despised, and so, in a way, it was the perfect place to mourn her. No room for her ghost in a home she wouldn't have liked in the first place.
She had been looking forward to that night ever since seeing Zoey in the green room that morning.
Jesus, that woman was undeniably gorgeous. It was actually unfair how beautiful Zoey McCarren was. Her amber skin and glowing brown eyes... It wasn't Pia's fault that when Zoey was around, she was completely absorbed in
whatever magic surrounded Zoey.
It was her fault that she was unashamedly choosing to act on it, though.
Zoey McCarren was a straight woman.
But that never stopped Pia before.
She almost laughed at the thought. It had come to her like she was some great seductress.
Dream big, Marino.
The women filtered in, Billie and Vero, Domino and Sabrina, Meg and a woman she didn't recognize but who had a New Zealand accent, and Zoey with Micah.
Pia gave them all hugs now that they were in her home — which was definitely not just an excuse to touch Zoey again. The lesbian world was a small one, but it wasn't so small that she couldn't make new friends. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of it before, really.
Oh, maybe because she spent days and nights sobbing to their first album and looking them in the eye would have been too painful at the time?
Sure, she'd go with that answer.
“I thought you had dogs,” Domino asked, looking around.
“They’re a bit nervous of new people so they’re having an early night,” Pia said, pointing behind her. It was a lie, but she had read once in an interview that Zoey was afraid of dogs — to her deep disappointment — and because she had two beefy pit bulls, she figured it’d be better to keep Zoey comfortable for the visit than let the two dogs lick and cuddle everyone to death.
Domino looked disappointed.
Pia hugged Zoey, who stood stiffly in her arms. "Thank you for coming," she said, truly meaning it.
"Well, I heard you have a legendary wine collection, so I figured I'd have to check it out," Zoey said with a gesture in the air as though she was too cool to have any other reason to come to Pia's home.
"I'd be delighted to show you," Pia said, raising her eyebrows in surprise that Zoey was a wine drinker. In her mind, Zoey was too young to care about things like good wine.
"Oh, what are you showing Zo?" Meg asked, hooking an arm through Zoey's.
"Wine. You interested?" Pia asked.
Meg rolled her eyes. "Not one bit. The box stuff is good enough for me," she said.