“I won’t hold you back, as you just saw.”
“I see that,” he said. “And I respect what you were able to do to me out there. But…I’m not good with people…I have a temper. Sometimes I get emotional and just lose it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Ha,” Leah scoffed. “And that, ladies and gentleman, is the irony of the day.”
“I’m serious.”
“Why? Because I’m a girl?”
“No.”
“Because I’m just a Lowsunn villager?”
“No…I already said I respected your style.”
“Then what is it?”
“Everyone I’ve ever loved died,” he said suddenly.
“Tell me what happened,” Leah said in concern. Aidan shook his head and threw his arms over his knees.
“I won’t,” he said. Leah jumped to her feet and began marching over to him with clenched fists. He threw up his hands in surrender. “Alright. Cut it out. I’ll tell you. Just don’t force me to be in here any longer than I have to.”
“Agreed,” she said, plopping down beside him. “But I want to hear everything.”
“You can hear just fine from the other corner.”
“This corner is more comfy,” she said, scooting closer to him. “Besides, it’s cold in here.”
“Don’t expect me to take off my robe and give it to you.”
“I don’t expect you to be a gentleman at all,” she said, punching his shoulder. “Now hurry up. Tell me.”
“I just told you that everyone I’ve ever loved has died. Don’t you think it’s something that might take me a little bit of time to talk about?”
“Yeah, but that’s not you,” she said, looking at him. He refused to look back. “One of the reasons I was so happy to face you today is because you wear your heart on your sleeve. Don’t get me wrong. You’re a jerk to people, and–”
“– I get it,” he snapped. “I know what you think of me.”
“You might want to work on that,” she laughed. “But you’re the type of man that when you love, you love strong. You fight strong. You believe strong. There’s no wishy-washiness –”
“– wishy-washiness?”
“– and there’s no deception or games. Who I see, is who you are. Being an Elder’s daughter – that’s something I appreciate more than you know. And you know what? I know now why you don’t want to tell me what happened.”
“Why?” he asked out of curiosity.
“Because you have feelings for me,” she said with a smile. “And they must be pretty serious. If you didn’t want to tell me at all about your past, you would just yell at me or bark some orders, or go crazy. But you’re not. For you to even admit that you’ve lost loved ones tells me that you want to open up to me. You’re just not sure of how far to take it because, as you said, you lose anyone you love. Still, you care.”
“I head-butt you in the face today,” Aidan snickered, finally meeting her eyes.
“And I tagged you back, you jerk.” The way her green eyes sparkled only made the churning in his stomach worse.
“Sorry about that,” he said, clenching his jaw. When Leah didn’t answer, he continued. “When Advent came…there was a firestorm. It hit my village and killed everyone there. Except for me.”
“Your village must have been on the edge of the Land of Bones.”
“Yeah,” he said, staring out into space. “We were one of the closest civilizations to ground zero and impact. The firestorm was just the shockwave. I didn’t know that for years though. The only thing that saved me was the Yen I had just received. Saw the Judge for the first and only time. Got the warning, like we all do…and I kept moving.”
“What about your family? Did they get caught in the storm?”
“No, I found them quickly actually. My mother, father and little sister. They had taken her on an educational trip far away from the village before the firestorm hit. When we met up, they said they had seen it in the distance and hurried back. Even then, I was so happy to see them, but I was so angry. Even more so than I am now. Being out in the wild taught me a little patience. But back then? I just wanted to hurt someone. The type of man I was, I didn’t care whether I was right or wrong. Someone had to suffer for the injustices I saw around me, even when I wasn’t personally involved. You stole fruit from Mrs. Cobbler’s perch? You started whining about planting crops? I had to be the judge, jury, and executioner. Though there wasn’t much questioning involved…I was always an angry kid, looking for an excuse to lash out.”
“But why? Did something happen to you when you were younger?”
“No, I don’t think so. I had a pretty good childhood. Maybe no one ever taught me how to handle my emotions. My father and mother were there, but they weren’t involved in a sense. They taught me about the world, but nothing about myself. It was more like an education than nurturing. But I don’t blame them. That’s just who they were. I don’t want to pretend that I’m not responsible for my actions. I hate people who do that…believe it or not, no one gets more pissed at me than I do when I lose myself. But it’s hard to handle.”
“Practice helps,” she said with a nod. “I’m sorry. Go on.”
“My father naturally took the lead as we searched for a new home. Between the four of us, we had six Yen, not counting the one I used for my Fire Arts. That was pretty much an army at that time. People were so scared…we went to the closest town that hadn’t been destroyed. Place called Tri-till. We had been there a couple times in the past. Very hospitable people. But before we even reached the borders, we were approached by a band of thieves. There were six of them. They wanted our clothes, our property, everything we had on us. My father ordered us not to interfere as he used his one and only Yen to increase his strength by ten men. Don’t know why to this day he didn’t wish for more,” Aidan laughed. “Maybe he just had no imagination. Anyways, he fought them, but didn’t even cause one to fall. One of the bandits had the ability to paralyze others, making their bodies completely useless. All it took was a wave of his hand and my father was helpless. They made quick work of him.”
Aidan sighed and glanced over at Leah. She nodded as she wiped her eyes with her sleeve. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Was she actually crying? After everything she had just done to him? After all her talk? After their big battle? She was reduced to tears over a story?
Still, there was something beautiful about it. The world had hardened him, and he was so afraid of what he might do if he felt again that he kept his emotions in an impenetrable shell; but she hadn’t been changed. She could fight against the horrors of the world, and still let the tears flow as freely as the cleansing rain.
“The three of us left were paralyzed and brought to our knees,” he continued. “They searched us and didn’t find much and my sister and I looked to the next in charge in our family for answers, but my mother had none. She was as terrified as we were, and I was forced to think of options. The bandits discussed what should happen to us and it was decided that my sister and I could be their slaves, but my mom might cause trouble. She was too old, and probably too stubborn to be broken they said. They took a knife…and before they killed her…they…she used one of her Yen on me. This robe –”
He pulled at one of his sleeves.
“It can’t be burned, torn, or taken from me without my will. I don’t know what she wished for exactly, or what she and the Judge talked about…all I know is that this robe is bound to me. She probably made the wish out of urgency and figured it was better to use one than lose them altogether.”
“Your mother had more?”
“Three,” he said, lifting up his sleeve to reveal his three Yen. Two light, one darkened. “Just like me. I think that in order to get the Judge’s attention, you have to get the whole sentence out either in word or thought. You have to say what you’re wishing for, and it’s kind of locked in.”
“Is that why you think your mother couldn’t use her other two?”
�
�I have two theories. One is that she thought the first wish, went before the Judge, it was granted, and then they killed her before she could utter the next. Or, she tried to stay with the Judge in his chamber to avoid death, and he took away her other two, leaving her helpless.”
“You don’t think someone could make multiple wishes in one sitting with the Judge?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t tried. And given the warning he issued, I doubt anyone is willing to risk their Yen asking him any probing questions.”
“And anyone who has done it already aren’t about to admit it. Especially if they lost their Yen in the process.”
“Exactly. It’s like advertising that you’re defenseless.”
“So what happened to you and your sister? Did you two escape?”
“I killed the bandits in order to,” he said matter-of-factly. “The exact same way that I tried to hurt you. While they were interrogating my sister, I set it up, envisioning a way to consume them all in one move while I was still paralyzed on the ground, especially since I had no idea what abilities they had. When I finally unleashed the tsunami, it took them off guard. It took out five of them but the last one used a Yen to protect himself at the last moment. He was actually about to kill me with the same knife he had used on my mother when my sister used her only Yen to be granted Water Arts. With the man who could paralyze us dead, she was able to drown the last bandit by keeping a bubble full of water over his head. The man had used his only Yen to protect himself from fire, but not water.”
“So where is she now?”
“Diana was killed three weeks later. And after that, I swore off attaching myself to people and communities for as long as I could. I somehow got persuaded to check out a few more places before I ended up here, and they all turned out bad. No matter how good they aspired to be, the communities all fell apart. A change in leadership. An uprising. The death of someone great and inspiring. Whenever I found hope, it was threatened and taken away like the dirt of my hands in a streaming river. And it’s usually not even a serious threat. It’s usually an evil minority against a good majority, but the problem is, the majority aren’t willing to fight for what they know is right. That’s the real tragedy. That’s why the outside is so dangerous. There is far more doing good than evil, but because the evil deeds are left alone and unchallenged, they outdo all the beauty and wonder that these Yen offer. It’s why…it’s why I would rather not deal with people. Because you’re right.”
He turned to look into Leah’s eyes.
“I do love hard. Too hard. And I know that at some point, someone will want to taint all the beauty around me. Some bastard will want to unravel the magic, and I’ll have to fight, and no one will help, and I’ll be forced to watch what I love most get trampled on and slaughtered over and over again. That’s why I crawl into myself. That’s why I have my distant, hardened shell, and I lash out at anyone that dares to drag me back into their horrendous reality.”
“I get it,” she said, wiping her sleeve across her face. “But just like the people who won’t do anything for the greater good, letting yourself be lost and alone does nothing to improve your personal life. Maybe no one will help you fight the evil out there, but you can fight the evil in front of you. You’re very powerful, and yes, you’re probably stronger than most, if not all of the villagers here with what you’ve experienced and seen. But that doesn’t mean you can’t improve.”
“How so?”
“When you’re in the heat of battle, you’re not level-headed, so you either lash out at your opponent like a hurricane, or you fall back on old techniques. There had to have been a hundred ways to see if I was immune to fire or not without bringing out your best move. You did consider my immunity to fire, didn’t you?”
“I did.”
“Then you did it all wrong. We would like to think that what we manifest is limitless, but that’s not true. There has to be limits. The Yen we use becomes a part of us. We may not know how yet, but it’s clear that there is an end to our output. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so tired from that technique that I was able to just whale on you.”
“You’re just trying to get me to train you again. You make it sound like you have some hidden knowledge that I’ll only get if we spar together.”
“That’s right,” she laughed. “I have the goods. And while we’re at it, if you just happen to impart a few tips my way, that would be much appreciated.”
“I don’t know what I could teach you.”
“I already learned a lot just listening to your stories. You told me about a few abilities people have on the outside. That’s vital information that could save my life one day. And you were out there for years! There’s a lot I can learn from you.”
“If we train together…I don’t want to hold back.”
“I wouldn’t ask for anything less. I only want one thing.”
“What?”
“Don’t leave me behind.”
“What are you talking about now?”
“You’re going to get stronger. I know it. I’ve seen you outside late at night in the Field. If there is one thing you dedicate yourself wholly to, it’s getting stronger. I want to be right there with you. What happened today was exhilarating, and I want many more days like that. I don’t want you to train so hard on your own that you surpass me and you start looking down on me.”
“That won’t happen,” he said with a smile. “Who do you think I am?”
“You might not do it intentionally,” she said. “But there might come a time when we’re training less and less together. A scout mission might go by where you’re taken and I’m not. Eventually you’ll start thinking of me as baggage. As a liability, and not a partner. I don’t want that. Side by side, the whole time. That’s my condition.”
“Condition? You’re the one getting most of the training!”
“See? It’s started already. You’re thinking that you’re just going to be coaching the whole time and not learning anything. That’s not true. I can show you a lot! Or do I need to shove an ice shard through your ribs again?”
“Speaking of…I should get that looked at,” he said, glancing down. “Does this room heal?”
“Don’t change the subject! Are we going to train together or not?”
“You still want to partner up with me even after I told you how everyone around me dies?”
“You’re forgetting one important detail. I’m not defenseless. I can handle myself, or at the very least, someone as strong as you. I’m on your level.”
Aidan thought about it for a moment and then snickered at her words. Perhaps…perhaps she was right.
“Before I completely agree to this, you have to answer a couple of questions for me first.”
“Sure,” Leah said, turning her body so that she completely faced him. “Hit me.”
“Are you attracted to me?”
“Is this a serious question or are you just massaging your ego?”
“A little of both. Just answer before I say no.”
“I am,” she said. Her face flushed and her cheeks reddened. Her shoulders perked up towards her ears and her lips pursed together in embarrassment. Aidan smirked and then wiped his smile away. He wanted to keep this serious.
“And I can tell you that I’m very attracted to you too, in case you’re wondering.”
“Are you sure you didn’t catch a cold?” she giggled.
“Next question. What happens if you surpass me strength-wise?”
“Oh, I wouldn’t leave you or anything,” she said casually. “Now that we’ve had the opportunity to talk, I see that you’re not so bad.”
“And when we leave Lowsunn?”
“You mean a mission? Or the expulsion?”
“Expulsion. What happens to us on the outside?”
“I would imagine we would travel together. If we work well, why would we break that up?”
“I was thinking the same thing.”
“Where is this going?”
“Final question.”
“Okay,” she said, no longer smiling.
“Marry me.” Her eyes searched his face, but he remained concrete. Twice she opened her mouth but didn’t say anything. Finally she scowled, blinked a few times and spoke.
“That wasn’t a question.”
“You know what I mean.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I love hard,” he replied, taking her hands. “I already told you that.”
“But you don’t love me,” she scoffed. “You have a crush, or you think I’m pretty. That’s not love. That’s not worth getting married over. I don’t even know how someone gets married around here.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“We were trying to kill each other earlier.”
“And we may again. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get married.”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“I’m going to just break it down to you straight. Because it’s all over the room.”
“Oh, here we go,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“I find you so beautiful that it makes me forget who I am. I can’t think straight. I can’t breathe right. And I could see it in your eyes too. You want me.”
“Why is this happening to me?” she muttered, shaking her head but still leaving her hands in his.
“There’s no getting around it. We’re going to end up doing things that go well beyond training. It’s just going to happen. I’m too passionate. You’re too passionate. Things happen.”
“Uh-huh,” she muttered, rolling her eyes again. “Things happen he says.”
“But our marriage would be more than that. It gives the two of us assurances. By making this commitment, it lets us both know that we’re serious about each other. We train together. We fight together. We go through life together. We’re partners through it all. Not one leaves the other behind. This is more than just physical. We won’t even do anything unless you allowed it, if that makes you feel any better.”
“Then why get married? Why can’t we just date?”
“We don’t have the time. Listen, Lowsunn has strong defenses, but it’s not impenetrable. There will come a time, whether tomorrow, or years from now, that we’ll have to fight for our lives. When that happens, I don’t want any doubts about where you stand with me, and you shouldn’t have any about where I stand with you. You should know that I’ve got your back and vice versa. No question. And also, by getting the formalities out of the way now, we can focus solely on our training, and not just dinners and games.”
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