Neve lay down again and clutched the duvet to her chest. She stared at the ceiling and hoped for Sammy's sake she really did get the Sainsbury's job. After having his roof over her head and feeling safe, she really did not want to go back out on the streets. Not ever again.
On the afternoon of her fourteenth birthday, almost three years ago, she'd left the house she shared with her mother. And house was the right word for it too … not home. Never home.
She'd moved around, London first, a few other places and then back to Manchester because it was all she knew. Still, she managed to quickly outstay her welcome at the homes of the few friends she possessed. Within weeks she was no longer able to crash on their living room floors without their assorted parents glaring at her suspiciously and demanding she leave. Then there was nowhere to go, and she most surely couldn't go back to her mother's.
Two years of uncomfortable nights followed. If she was lucky she'd nab a bed and meals at a halfway house for a week or so, but more often than not she found herself on the street. She was a beautiful girl, almost faerie-like in appearance, and it would've only taken a smile on her behalf to get a roof over her head with most guys she met, but it wasn't an option. The roof would come with too many other obligations, all of them to do with sex, and she just wasn't prepared to go there.
As she'd said to Max at the Mermaid Tavern when he'd sacked her for not submitting to his advances, she'd rather die.
And for a time it looked like that's just what she would do. Slender to begin with, she became scrawny and carried her possessions in the tattered backpack she'd taken when she first left her mother's. The contents within were gradually lost, sold or stolen but the backpack she kept. It made a good pillow when sleeping rough.
She spent a few months working in the smoke shop out front of a tattooist. She didn't earn much money but it was enough to rent the room above the shop, plus she gained some exquisite Celtic artwork on her arms from the tattooist. Neve felt she could have been happy there, but the smoke shop went broke. The tattooist inked a delicate lily onto her wrist as a goodbye present and that was the end of that. Neve moved on again.
When a second winter came, she was down to nothing and nobody, and just when all hope was gone along came Sammy.
As she lay there clutching the duvet, Neve heard the telly click on in the next room and the unmistakeable groan of Sammy's weight dropping onto the battered settee. He was still sniffing and she smiled into the dark.
She knew eventually she'd have to go, because there had to be more to life, but she was okay for now.
She felt she must have a destiny … sometimes she almost saw it in her dreams, floating around the edges but no matter how hard she tried it always remained elusively out of reach.
It's Early Days
'I dunno. It's sort of…frizzy,' said Cate doubtfully. She turned this way and that, checking out her reflection in the full-length dressing-room mirror.
'Frizzy?' Aisley frowned. 'I don't get you.'
She had just earned her learner driver permit and much to her delight Grant let her get behind the wheel for the fifty kilometre drive from Seamere to the shopping centre in Salbury. Cate was not so delighted and she held tight to her seat all the way, fearful that Aisley was going to put them in a ditch.
Once in town, Grant disappeared and the girls went shopping for something to wear to Freya's party on Saturday night. Or rather, something for Cate to wear. Aisley already had an idea for her own costume but she was keeping it a secret until she was sure she could make it happen.
They were in a very funky vintage clothing shop and Cate was modelling a strapless dress straight out of 1985. It was orange, with organza ruffles in the skirt that bounced and floated about whenever she moved.
'It's more foofy than frizzy, surely,' said Aisley.
'Is foofy a good thing?'
'Most definitely.'
Cate fluffed up the airy layers in the skirt and pulled a face. 'Are you sure?' she asked.
Aisley nodded adamantly. 'Yeah!'
'I look like a freakin' toilet brush,' Cate declared.
'No you don't!' Aisley laughed. 'Look. You said you wanted to go as a stuck in the eighties chick, right?'
'Right.'
'Well, this is what they were all wearing in the eighties.'
Cate eyed her reflection doubtfully.
'Just imagine it with heels,' said Aisley. 'Heels and really big hair. Maybe some grungy fishnet tights?'
Cate tugged irately at her silky straight hair. 'And how exactly am I going to make this big?' she demanded.
'Well, you could spike it,' Aisley suggested. 'Use some really strong product, tons of hairspray, and then tie a big bow on top. Heaps of plastic jewellery? That sort of thing.'
The idea seemed to appeal to Cate. She nodded slowly at her reflection. 'That, I could do,' she agreed.
Aisley sighed with relief. They'd been traipsing around for nearly two hours and her feet were sore. 'Good,' she said. 'So buy it already and we can go eat. I'm starving!'
A short time later, sitting in the food court and eating a blueberry muffin, Aisley felt much better.
'I've got a massive load of homework to do for art before the holidays are over,' Cate complained. 'Plus we have an English assessment, second day back. I'm well over it, seriously!'
Aisley wasn't taking art, but she nodded compassionately. 'I've got a science assessment first day back,' she said. 'Then there's that book report which was actually due in the last week of term, so it's overdue.'
'School is making me old before my time,' said Cate, sipping her latte.
'Amen.'
'You know, if I had it to do over again,' Cate grumbled. 'I wouldn't have picked any year twelve classes in year eleven. God, what was I thinking? I don't even know why I'm bothering. I mean, I have no idea what I want to do with my life.'
'It's early days,' Aisley replied comfortably. She pushed the muffin aside and reached for her Coke.
'No, it's not!' Cate cried her dark blue eyes wide. 'You know where you're headed. Freya wants to teach, and Lucan will probably be an engineer… he's virtually one already…'
'Calm down,' Aisley said soothingly, as she played with her straw. 'I hardly know where I'm heading. Chandra and Stewart can't see beyond tomorrow's surf report and Archie says he wants to be a DJ on the weekends.' They both laughed at that. 'Anyway,' Aisley added. 'You don't have to go to uni, you know. It's not set in stone.'
'Mum and dad will kill me if I don't go,' Cate grumbled. 'They go on about how bloody fabulous Felix is all the time. I'm taking the hint, Ais.'
'Felix is doing law,' Aisley said. 'Do you want to be a lawyer too?'
'God no!'
'And that's because you're not Felix.' Aisley squeezed her hand across the table. 'You're you and it's your life, dar-leenk.'
'Easier said than done,' Cate said pulling a face. 'You know my dad, Ais. He'll be severely pissed at me if I don't follow the expected path.'
Aisley gazed at her sympathetically, feeling grateful for her own parents more liberal attitude.
'Hey, I know,' Cate said, suddenly inspired. 'I'll do some lame course at uni to keep dad happy, then I'll let Drew get the job that earns the big bucks. After that I'll just do my nails while I watch daytime telly.' She sat back, looking pleased with herself.
Aisley snorted. 'So you're marrying him now?'
'Yeah, why not.'
'Cate! What the hell? You're seventeen.'
Cate folded her napkin origami-style. 'Well obviously I don't mean right now.'
'You'd really want to spend your life attached to Drew King?'
'You make it sound like a bad thing.' Cate looked hurt. 'Do you hate him that much?'
Aisley sighed. 'I don't hate Drew at all,' she said honestly. 'It's just that… well…' She ran out of words.
'It's just that what?'
Aisley was forthright by nature. She tended to come out and say it like it is, hang the consequences. But she looke
d into her friend's eyes and found that in this case, she simply couldn't. This time last year, her biggest communication problem was with the spirit of Lily Sheldon and in Aisley's opinion, interacting with ghosts was a damn sight easier than interacting with the living sometimes.
'Nothing,' she said finally. 'I'm just crapping on. Drew is a great guy and I'm very happy for you both.'
Cate looked at her shrewdly. 'I don't believe you, Ais,' she said. 'But that's all I'm gonna get, right?'
'Yep.'
'Okay then. Love you.'
'Love you too.' Aisley picked up her Coke. 'And if you don't want to go to uni, then don't. Be brave! Stand up to your dad.'
'Bravery!' Cate lifted her latte glass and tapped it against Aisley's Coke. 'I'll drink to that.' She sipped and then she looked over the brim. 'Hey, completely off topic, but can I ask you something personal?'
'Sure thing chicken wing.' Aisley tucked her hair behind her ear, fairly confident she knew what Cate was going to ask.
'You and Chandra … did he stay over the other night when he came home?'
'Um, that would be a yes.' Aisley couldn't hide her smile.
Cate fiddled with her napkin, looking awkward. 'So, does that mean you guys have, er …? Although, if you don't want to tell me, that's perfectly fine too.'
'No, it's alright. And yes, we have.'
'I thought so.'
'Are we that obvious?'
'It's written all over your faces when you look at each other.'
Now it was Aisley's turn to look awkward. 'Omigod, really?'
'Oh yeah!'
The two girls gaped at each other for a moment and then they cracked up laughing.
'Well!' Cate giggled. 'That was weirder than I thought it'd be!'
'I can trust you not to say anything to another living soul, right?'
'Pinkie promise.' Cate held out her finger and Aisley hooked her own around it. 'He'd been home for about twenty seconds,' Cate teased. 'You sure didn't waste any time.'
'Hey, we hadn't seen each other for six months!' Aisley was defensive. 'What do you expect?'
Cate laughed. 'Just saying, is all.' She leaned towards Aisley. 'Am I allowed to ask something else?'
'You're on a roll,' Aisley shrugged. 'Why stop now?'
'Okay. How was it?'
'It was … just really beautiful.'
Cate nodded as she absorbed that information. 'Did it hurt?'
'Not for long,' Aisley said. 'If I tell you it felt really nice, you'll think I'm being creepy.'
'No I won't.'
'Okay then. It felt really nice.'
'That's creepy, Ais.'
Both girls laughed again, and then Aisley gave Cate a sly grin. 'Have you and Drew gone there yet?'
'Oh god no!' Cate rolled her eyes. 'Don't even think about it!'
'Alright then. I won't.'
'Not that he doesn't want to,' Cate added. 'Of course he wants to. In fact he talks about it all the time. Anyway, don't think about it.'
'Okay.'
'It's like an obsession with him!' Cate flapped her hands about. 'Don't think about it.'
'I'm trying not to, but you keep talking about it.'
'Well I'll stop now.'
'Good.'
'Yes. Good.' Cate nodded decisively and abruptly changed the subject. 'Okay,' she said. 'Enough talk. Let's shop.'
'Two minutes,' Aisley begged, thinking that Cate was a much more enthusiastic shopper than she was.
'Hurry up,' Cate said, stirring the remainder of her latte with her spoon. 'I want some shoes to go with… Oh. My. God!'
'What…'
'Omigod!' Cate was staring beyond Aisley's shoulder. 'Omigod! I don't believe it. Turn around.' Aisley went to spin in her seat but Cate gripped her arm. 'Slowly.' she warned. 'You don't want her to notice you.'
Aisley peeped behind her, letting her hair hang across her face like a shield. At first she had no clue what Cate was on about.
'Who am I supposed to be seeing?' she mumbled.
'Straight ahead,' Cate said through gritted teeth. 'Just outside the supermarket … standing with that guy with the cap on. Do you see?'
Aisley saw. 'Oh wow,' she whispered. 'Bliss Anderson!'
Bliss had not come back to school this year. Aisley and Cate hadn't seen her since the end of year ten and neither of them had passed a single word with her since that unfortunate day outside the Melba café the winter before. As the year ended, Bliss was seen at school less and less and it was no surprise when she didn't come back for year eleven.
Her posse disbanded and her former best friend, Megan Davies turned out to be a very nice person. Freya had even invited her to her party. Away from Bliss's dominating control, Megan could be herself. Aisley supposed that Megan had been the victim of Bliss's bullying as much as she had been. Just in a different way.
'I heard that she moved out of home,' said Cate softly. 'She must live here in Salbury now.'
Aisley nodded, watching Bliss. 'Imagine moving out at our age,' she said.
'No way,' Cate snorted. I'd have to wash my own clothes, and sweetheart, that ain't happening.'
As they watched Bliss turned to talk to the guy in the cap. Aisley slapped her hand across her mouth and gasped. In profile, the girl appeared to have a basketball shoved up her top.
'Bloody hell!' squeaked Cate.
Aisley swung back and gaped at Cate. 'She's pregnant!' she hissed.
Cate's eyes were enormous. 'That's why she didn't come back to school!'
'I never heard anything about it,' said Aisley. 'Did you?'
'Not a thing,' Cate agreed. That was unusual. In small towns, the juicier the gossip, the quicker it got around.
'Do you suppose the guy she's with is the dad?' Aisley asked.
Cate shrugged. 'Who knows,' she said. 'She was with a different boy every week at school. Hey, maybe it's a guy we actually know!'
'Maybe …' Aisley dared to glance at Bliss again. She was arguing with the boy in the cap and as they watched, he threw his arms in the air and stomped away. Bliss chased him, half running, and they could hear her shrill voice as she yelled abuse at him. People turned to see what all the noise was about.
Aisley faced the table again and studied the remnants of her muffin. 'Gosh,' she muttered. 'Poor Bliss.'
'Poor Bliss!' Cate cried. She smacked Aisley on the arm. 'What's poor about her? She's a bitch!'
'Yeah, but Cate… sixteen and pregnant? That's tough.'
'She'd be seventeen by now.'
'Seventeen and pregnant then,' Aisley said. 'Either way, it sucks. And if she's not even living at home …'
'When did you not see her hanging off a guy?' Cate asked, stabbing a finger at her. 'She had this coming. You know it as well as I do.'
Aisley shrugged.
'Ais!' Cate was incredulous. 'What is wrong with you? She had Chandra in her sights, for gods' sake! Why are you being so nice? You know firsthand what she's like. She's a slut.'
'That's harsh.'
'Why? She is. Now she's pregnant. Bad luck.'
Aisley nodded but she couldn't agree. No matter how hard she tried, she felt nothing but sympathy for the girl she'd hated so much the year before.
'Well, maybe she planned it,' she said.
'Yeah right!' Cate laughed. 'That's … er, unlikely.'
Aisley got to her feet. 'I wouldn't be in her shoes though,' she said, putting her muffin bag in the bin. 'Not for a million dollars.'
'Me neither,' Cate pushed her chair in. 'Speaking of shoes, let's get going.'
They wandered away through the centre, hunting for shoe shops. The whole time they were shopping, Aisley could barely concentrate because she couldn't stop thinking about Bliss.
Freya's party was getting closer and there was a general buzz of excitement in the air. The texts flew back and forth between anyone who was going. What are you wearing? I heard we can drink, is that true? What are you going as? Help! I can't decide. Is that guy Luke gonna be there �
� you know, the hot one? I wanna go as Iron Man but I think Aryan already is. … It went on and on.
Freya was keeping quiet about what she was wearing, and so was Lucan, although Aisley was willing to bet they were going as a double-act. Freya and Lucan were close. Cate thought they were secretly dating but Aisley didn't agree. She had her own inkling about Lucan but she kept it to herself.
Cate's costume was sorted. She'd Googled images from the early eighties and ended up with the vintage dress, fishnet stockings, and a truckload of grungy jewellery.
After much deliberation, Archie was going as Darth Vader. He felt the dark tyrannical persona suited him and he liked to think he was quite threatening brandishing his light-sabre while his billowing cloak swept the ground. He even managed to get hold of a helmet with a voice synthesizer that made him sound like he was suffering chronic asthma and he was very pleased with the result.
Chandra couldn't decide between Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean, or a hip-hop dancer. In the end he flipped a coin and came up heads…Jack Sparrow. Aisley was secretly glad about that. She had no doubt that he would make a hot pirate, but also … his hip-hop style left a lot to be desired, although she was far too loyal to ever tell him that.
For her part, Aisley needed help with her costume from Aasha Sarin, Chandra's older sister.
Aasha had finished high school the year before and was now at uni in Melbourne where she was studying fashion design. Fortunately, she was home for the holidays and happened to answer the phone when Aisley rang. She listened while Aisley explained what she wanted to do and said she'd be thrilled to help.
'Why don't you come over here now,' she suggested eagerly. 'I've got everything we need, and I already know which one you can wear. It's a little risqué and over-the-top Bollywood, but you'll look amazing! The colours will really suit you.'
'O…kay.' Aisley hesitated. 'Only, I kind of wanted it to be a surprise for Chandra and if he's there…'
'Oh, he's not here,' Aasha assured her. 'He took off early, surfing with Stewart. I haven't seen him all day. So you see it's the perfect time. I'll even pop over and pick you up if you like?'
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