She smiled at Aisley and sank to the floor beside her, curling her legs beneath her.
'Was that you playing the piano?' Aisley asked and Lily nodded. 'You're very good at it.'
'Thank you,' Lily replied. 'I doubt you'll ever see me at Carnegie Hall, but I do enjoy it.' Her Welsh accent was light and sing-song. 'Did you ever find my Neve?' she asked unexpectedly.
Aisley felt regretful although she didn't know why. 'I looked and looked,' she said. 'But I don't know where she is. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do next.'
'It's easy.' Lily smiled at her. 'If you follow Millie Meg, you'll find her.'
'Of course!' Aisley was relieved. 'That's so simple. Why didn't I think of it?'
'You would have, eventually.' Lily took her hand and squeezed it warmly. 'You're very smart, Aisley. But she can't wait much longer. She needs help now so I have to ask you to try harder … I hope you don't mind?'
'Of course not. I owe you, for Wade.'
'You owe me nothing,' Lily echoed the words Aisley had said to Chandra hours earlier. She stood up. 'It's just that you can act, while I cannot. It'll mean everything to her, if you can bring her home.'
'Do you really have to go?' Aisley said sadly. 'I hardly ever get to see you.'
'I know.' Lily walked soundlessly away into the shadows. 'But you don't ever have to worry, because I'm always here.'
Aisley went back to tracing the rainbow patterns in the dust on the floor.
When she awoke it was still early and the rest of her family were asleep. She padded downstairs, thinking a cup of tea might be nice. She could take it back to bed and sip it while she read her book. Also, Ellette was whining to be let out of the laundry room where she slept.
When she reached the hall, Aisley stopped short and stared. Ahead of her on the floor she could see circles and swirls drawn in the dust on the floor, as if by fingertips. Nearby, and as clear as glass, were footprints. They carried on across the hall for a little way and then they stopped … as if the person making them had simply vanished.
Despite all that had taken place the year before, and despite her utter faith in the existence of the spirit of Lily Sheldon, it was a long time before Aisley could move from that spot.
An Olive Branch
Two months later
Winter
Just when Aisley felt the grief she carried with her was becoming unbearably heavy, it grew less. It didn't fade altogether and she doubted it ever would, but it softened around the edges and became more gentle and easy to deal with.
She wished it were the same for Stewart. He smiled but it never reached his eyes and so far as she knew, he hadn't shed a single tear for Willa … well, not in public anyway. She guessed they'd all come to terms with it, each in their own time.
Something else had been on her mind for months now and Aisley decided she needed to act on it.
'You want to go to Salbury?' her mother Shay asked suspiciously. 'Why?'
'Sheesh! Just shopping,' Aisley replied. 'I really need new bathers, mum! My others are all worn out.'
'It's winter. When are you going to go swimming?'
'Chandra wants to teach me to surf.'
'Really?' Now Shay looked more doubtful than ever. 'Well, if that's true won't you be needing a wetsuit rather than a skimpy bikini. That ocean is Antarctic right now.'
While it was true that Chandra wanted to teach her to surf, Aisley had no intention of learning and as she wasn't a very good liar she gave that angle up. 'Can't a girl just go shopping now and then?' she said plaintively. 'Stuck out here, a million miles from …'
'Alright, alright …' Shay began.
'Besides,' Aisley kept hard-selling. 'It'll give me some real driving time, instead of just around town. I mean, how am I going to rack up the hours I need to get my license if I only drive two kilometres a week?'
'Okay,' Shay laughed, holding up her hands in defeat. 'I said alright. We'll go tomorrow morning if you can get up early enough.'
'I will,' Aisley said, smiling. She trotted up the stairs to her room, pausing as usual on the mezzanine to run her fingers lovingly over the faeries in the wood. In her room she climbed into her window seat.
She fished her phone out of her pocket and read a text from Chandra — movie and full-on snog session. You and me, gurrl. Tonight at mine. Say yes xxx
She grinned and texted back — Only if there's ice-cream xxx. Then she opened the phone's notes menu and scrolled down until she found the one she was looking for.
15 Wellington Street, Salbury
Second on right after shops
She did want to go clothes shopping. That wasn't a lie. But she had another secret reason for wanting to visit Salbury, and it concerned the person who lived, hopefully, at the address on her phone. If Aisley had done her detective work as well as she thought, that person was Bliss Anderson.
Number fifteen, Wellington Street turned out to be a group of ugly chocolate brick units. Aisley was just going to have to knock on each door and hope she got lucky.
She'd left her mother back at the shopping centre getting her hair cut, citing popping in on an old friend as the reason for her absence.
Feeling nervous now that she was actually here, Aisley walked slowly up to the door of the first unit. Lacy curtains framed the window and a pot plant sat proudly on the sill. It was all very neat. She took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.
'Just a moment,' came a voice from inside. A minute later, the door opened and through the security mesh Aisley could see an elderly woman peering back at her.
'Yes?' the woman asked.
'Sorry,' Aisley found her voice. 'I think I've got the wrong unit. I'm searching for a friend of mine. Her name is Bliss.'
The woman clicked her false teeth. 'I don't know anyone by that name,' she replied.
'She's blonde,' Aisley tried again. 'She has a little baby.'
'Ah yes,' said the woman. 'You want number three.' She closed her door before Aisley could say anything else.
Aisley walked further up the drive, bypassing the second unit and coming to the third. Unlike the elderly woman's unit, with its curtains and pot plant, this place had the feel of neglect. A crooked blind covered the grimy window and weeds grew up through the many cracks on the concrete porch. There was a box of old newspapers piled haphazardly against the building and a few broken beer bottles littered the ground. A sad looking ceramic frog sat on the step. It was supposed to be a plant-holder but it was full of cigarette butts instead.
She knew she'd come to the right place when she heard the sound of a baby crying somewhere inside. She rang the bell before she could lose her nerve but the bell didn't work, so she knocked instead. The baby kept crying, and nobody came to the door. Aisley knocked a second time and then she leaned over to peek through the dirty window but she couldn't see beyond the blind.
'What the hell are you doing here?' The familiar voice made her spin around in fright. Bliss Anderson was standing at the bottom of the porch steps, a grocery bag in each hand.
Aisley stared. Bliss looked completely different, and yet exactly the same. The long, blonde hair she remembered was now shoulder length, dull and lifeless, and Bliss had lost so much weight she resembled a skinny boy. Inside the unit, the baby screamed.
'Wanna get away from my door?' Bliss snapped and Aisley retreated down the steps.
Bliss shoved past her and put one of the bags down while she fished in her pocket for her door key. If Aisley was going to speak up it had to be now or never, because Bliss was going to go inside and lock the door, and that would be that.
'Wait,' she said.
'Piss off.' Bliss finally found her key and wedged it into the keyhole.
'Please,' Aisley said. 'I want to…' She stopped. She wanted to what? She didn't know. Had she been delusional coming here? Did she think Bliss would welcome her with open arms?
Bliss glared. 'You wanna give me some money? Great, give me some money. Otherwise, get lost.' She had her door open no
w and the volume of the crying baby was increased accordingly.
'Willa died!' Aisley burst out desperately. It was the only thing she could think to say.
That got Bliss's attention. 'Willa Fry?' She pulled a face. 'That sucks,' she muttered. She didn't go in and close the door. Instead she stood and watched Aisley, as if seeking more information.
'It was suicide,' Aisley said, feeling the pain inside that never quite left her.
'Bloody hell!' Bliss gaped. 'No kidding?'
Aisley nodded and took a tentative step closer.
'God,' muttered Bliss. 'Why'd she want to kill herself? Seems to me she had everything.'
'She was very depressed.'
Bliss snorted. 'Tell me about it!'
The baby cried and Aisley shuffled her feet. 'Is that your baby I can hear?' she asked carefully.
Bliss put her guard up and stepped inside. She started to push the door shut.
'Bliss, I saw you,' Aisley said, urgently. 'You were in the food court back in April. I saw you and you were pregnant and I've…I've been thinking about you ever since.'
'What the hell do you want from me?' Bliss complained. The baby's cries escalated.
'I don't want anything from you. I want to help you.'
'Why would you want to help me?'
Aisley shrugged. 'It's hard to explain,' she admitted.
Bliss half-turned in the direction of the crying baby. 'Look,' she muttered. 'I've really gotta go. He's hungry.'
'Can I come in?' Aisley begged.
'No!'
'Please. Can I see your baby? I won't stay long, I promise.'
Bliss rolled her eyes. 'Oh god, whatever! Suit yourself.' She stomped inside, leaving the door open behind her and Aisley followed her cautiously.
Inside the unit was gloomy and smelled of tobacco and cooking. Aisley walked down a narrow passage, turning sideways to squeeze past a pram and other things piled in the hall. She passed a tiny lounge and ended up in the kitchen. Bliss had dumped her shopping on the end of a bench that was mostly hidden under dirty dishes, baby bottles and fast food wrappers.
Aisley stood awkwardly in the middle of the filthy kitchen until Bliss came back into the room carrying a small, screaming bundle.
'Here,' she said. 'Hold him for a minute, will you.' She thrust the baby at Aisley, who took it in surprise. Eyes wide, she stared down at the screwed up red face and the little fists flailing wildly.
Bliss hunted around in the fridge. 'He's always hungry,' she said. 'He's such a guts.' She emerged from the fridge with a feeding bottle. Spinning off the top, she put it into the microwave and punched some buttons. The microwave sprang into life.
'What's his name?' Aisley asked, enchanted by the tiny, writhing baby in her arms.
'Matthew,' said Bliss.
'Matthew,' Aisley echoed. She took hold of one little fist and Matthew grasped her finger with amazing strength. She smiled. 'Matthew is a nice name,' she said. 'Is he named after anyone?'
Bliss took the bottle out of the microwave and put the top back on. 'No,' she replied. 'I just like the name. When he grows up he'll probably get called Matt, or Mattie. I'll always call him Matthew.' She took the child from Aisley and went into the lounge.
Aisley followed her in. Bliss sat on the sagging couch and in moments, Matthew was sucking hungrily from the bottle.
Aisley looked about. There were a few odd pieces of furniture scattered throughout the room and on a coffee table sat two overflowing ashtrays and a homemade bong. The sweet smell of cannabis hung in the room like a cloud.
'Can I sit down?' Aisley asked.
'If you want,' Bliss said, watching her warily. 'I don't care.'
Aisley perched on the edge of a chair. 'How old is he?' she asked, watching Matthew drink, his little face now perfectly content.
'Eight weeks,' Bliss replied. She tucked her limp hair behind her ear and watched her baby.
'Wow, so young,' Aisley said. Personally, she couldn't imagine being solely responsible for such a tiny child.
Bliss glanced up at her quickly, then back down at her son. 'The first month was shit,' she said. 'It's getting easier now though. We're fine, aren't we Matthew?' She was transfixed by her baby's face in that way which only mothers have.
Aisley looked about again. Whatever the situation was it wasn't easy and they were not fine. She stared at the bong on the table. Did Bliss get so stoned sometimes that she couldn't hear Matthew crying?
'Have you got…?' She hesitated. 'I mean, does Matthew's dad live here?'
'Dunno who his dad is,' Bliss said shortly. 'I don't want to know. I've got a flatmate but she's hardly ever around. Sometimes I don't see her for weeks and she owes me rent too, the bitch! Anyway, me and Matthew don't need anyone.'
'Oh,' Aisley chewed her lip. 'You were with that guy at the food court and I thought maybe he was the father.'
'That loser? God no! Give me some credit!'
'Was it someone at school then?'
'What does it matter?' Bliss shrugged. 'Yeah, it was. There are maybe three likely suspects and they're all complete bastards. Like I said, we don't need anyone.'
'Your mum…'
'Her,' Bliss spat the word out viciously. 'Her I need like friggin' cancer!'
'Does she know you've had a baby?'
'Duh! Why do you think the cow threw me out to begin with?'
'Oh.' Aisley fidgeted on the chair. 'Right. Sorry… I didn't know.'
'Why would you?' Bliss asked. 'I didn't go around advertising the fact that my mum is a stupid junkie who gives a shit for nobody but herself.'
Aisley didn't know how to answer that so she changed the subject. 'He's gorgeous, Bliss,' she said quietly.
For the first time in the entire time she'd known her, Aisley saw Bliss's face soften into a genuine smile. In that instant, the girl was beautiful beyond words. 'Yeah,' Bliss said softly. 'He is good looking isn't he.'
Aisley took some notepaper from her pocket and laid it on the grimy coffee table. 'That's my mobile number,' she said as she stood up. 'Throw it away if you want, or keep it. Ring me if I can help or if you just want to talk… or not. I don't mind.' She walked to the lounge door.
Bliss gave her a look that was impossible to read. 'Hey,' she called after her. 'Why did you come here? I don't get it. I thought you hated my guts. Especially after what I did, you know, to you and what's his name.'
Aisley managed to keep her expression neutral. After all was said and done, Bliss couldn't even remember Chandra's name! 'I came because one day you might want to talk to someone,' she said. 'I know you said things are getting easier now, and if they are then I'm glad for you both. But if that changes and you need me, I'm here … or not. It's up to you.'
'Okay,' said Bliss, pulling a face. 'Whatever turns you on.'
Aisley stared around at the filth and the neglect. 'Bye,' she said. 'Take care of yourself.' She looked at the baby. 'Bye Matthew.'
'Hey,' Bliss called again.
Aisley put her head back around the lounge door.
'The guy at school … are you two still together?'
'Yes.'
'That's good.' Bliss shifted Matthew to a more comfortable position. 'Sorry about that crap I laid on you both.'
Aisley smiled. 'Thanks,' she said. 'That means a lot.'
She found her way out and left the unit, pulling the door shut behind her. The frog plant-holder gazed mournfully after her as she walked away.
As she made her way back to the shopping centre to meet her mother, she felt good, redeemed somehow. The winter sun shone down on her upturned face and the cold wind blew her long hair back from her brow. For the first time she was able to think of Willa … really think of her … and smile.
Willa was gone, but she, Aisley was allowed to go on, and it was going to be okay.
Later that evening, Bliss changed Matthew's nappy and put him in his bassinet. Walking back into the lounge, she noticed the note still sitting on the coffee table. Snatching it up,
she screwed it into a ball and tossed it into one of the overflowing ashtrays.
Lighting a joint, she sat on the sagging couch and squinted at the screwed up note through the smoke. After a while she pulled it out of the ashtray and considered holding the corner of it to her joint and letting it burn.
Instead, she smoothed it out, padded to the kitchen and stuck it to the fridge with a Homer Simpson magnet. After that she went back to the couch and smoked the rest of her joint.
Who's Neve?
'Woo bloody hoo!'
Aisley was sitting on the wall near the arts building and she glanced around just in time to watch Freya dance out of the science wing and throw her arms around Stewart from the back. 'Thank goodness that week's over,' she cried. 'Thought it'd never end.'
'Tough, huh?' Stewart rewarded her with a small smile and since it was still hard to get any smile out of him, Freya looked very pleased.
'You can say that again,' she said. 'I'm going to sleep all weekend.'
'That's a great idea,' Cate said from her spot next to Aisley. 'I might do that too.'
Chandra and Archie arrived and Archie loped over to Cate and slung an arm around her neck. 'You can take me to the Melba cafe if you like, snookie bum.' He wiggled his eyebrows at her. 'In an official date capacity, that is.'
Cate rolled her eyes. 'Forget it.'
Archie clutched at his heart. 'Arghh … rejection,' he gasped. 'I'm destined to die a lonely old man.'
'Okay.' She wriggled out from his arm and he sighed with resignation before recovering enough to throw a hopeful, cheesy grin at a group of year eleven girls as they passed by.
'Hey!' he called. 'I'm single! Are you interested?' They just laughed at him and he looked offended. 'What? I'm serious!'
'Can I take you to the Melba café?' Chandra asked Aisley. 'In an official date capacity.'
'Of course,' she said. 'But we'll take Stewart too.'
Stewart crammed his hands into the pockets of his school shorts. 'Nah, that's okay. Sincerely, I'm not up to it. I'll see you guys on Monday, yeah?'
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