by Steven Oaks
We grew closer, and soon we were passing through the large doors that had opened to let us inside. The expansive nature of this structure, with its white walls that seemed to go on forever, swallowed us whole.
We drifted slowly through the building, and seemed to stop where we had been parked for months as we waited to make our way out every day to collect the dead. I saw a single person waiting for us, and I knew it could only be Adam.
“It appears we have company,” I announced, anxiously.
“Adam wishes to come aboard Michael,” Athene indicated, gently.
“Let me get to the lounge before you open up to him,” I replied, trying to compose myself. This was it, either we would capture him, or we would have to escape.
“Yes my captain,” she answered.
Standing up slowly I hurried through the ship, walking just under a run. I had no wish to make him wait, but I did not want to be out of breath. Halfway there I realized I was no longer human, and would never be out of breath again, and began to run.
Finding myself waiting in front of the familiar exit I took a deep breath and commanded, “Alright Athene, let's do this.”
“Good luck Michael,” she called, softly.
“Good luck to you. You are the one who is going to be doing most everything,” I reminded her quickly.
A hiss of air entered the room as the atmospheres equalized. Then the doors irised open to reveal a smiling Adam. He looked as he always did. Bald, imposing, but still attractive. Had he not been so aggressive and nearly always angry he might have been someone I might have found myself drawn to. However, that was not the case, and him being an Outsider had killed any inkling that may have lingered in my mind. Still wearing the same suit I had first seem him in during my interview, he began to walk up the few steps to put out a hand.
I took it in my own as he said, “Welcome back Michael. Congratulations on a successful trip.”
He began to squeeze my hand hard as he always had, but now in my new body I felt none of the pain I had previously. In fact I did a silly thing. I was stronger than before, so I thought I would try to match him in grip. Slowly squeezing tighter I watched his face. He began to grimace and tried to pull away. I did not let him, and in fact pulled him further into Athene. Athene must have noticed my intention and the door closed swiftly behind him.
“Welcome aboard Adam. Why don't you have a seat,” I growled, flinging him across the room to land on the lone couch in the lounge.
I saw fear in his eyes as he tried to push himself up off the couch but Athene enveloped him with her many arms, and slowly from the ceiling the familiar white tube descended to encompass him.
“Do you have him?” I asked Athene.
“I do, but he is putting up a fight. I'm filling the area he is in with the same material I used to subdue Mr. Thompson, but I do not think he is absorbing it. This may take some time as I wait for his power to run down,” she exclaimed sounding strained.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” I asked, still knowing I had done my part.
“There is not. However, I am curious as to why you acted so suddenly. Were we not to try to get him to eat with you so I might poison him first?” she said stiffly.
“I'm sorry about that. He tried to cause me pain again with his handshake. I couldn't take it anymore, and since you tell me I should be stronger than him, I began to squeeze with all my might,” I said, wondering if I had injured him.
“His hand does seem to be crushed. I will try to use that as an avenue for entry. Please wait while I see what I can do,” she said.
Not knowing what else to do I began to pace once more. Had I risked our chances of capturing Adam by being petty? I could blame the suddenness of my change to this new body, but really had I somehow became strong enough on my own I might have done the same thing. I keep telling myself I do not get emotional often, but that last year with Athene I had shown uncontrollable rage several times. Perhaps it was because my own mind was being assaulted at the time, but perhaps it was something that was always just hidden under the surface.
Shaking me out of my reverie Athene said, “I believe I have him contained and subdued. I shall now try to interface with his mind. Please be patient again. I hope the safety systems I have set up will be enough. If he is not like Mr. Thompson, this may take longer than planned.”
“Be safe Athene. Break connection with him if you see something strange. I don't want you to try to do something you cannot. We'll work something out,” I cautioned growing even more worried.
“I am starting now,” she said calmly.
Still pacing with nervous energy I began to make a circuit around the lounge. My mind was filled with dread. I had visions that Adam might actually be able to hurt Athene, and then he would try to come after me. While Athene said that I was ten times stronger than Mr. Thompson, what if Adam was even more powerful? Then again if he was I should not have been able to crush his hand. Or perhaps he had to consciously force himself to become stronger before he would be able to match me. Again there was so much I did not know and I was causing myself to get worked up.
I glanced at my new watch to see how much time had passed, but I could not remember when we had started. It seemed like forever, and I was almost ready to start tearing my hair out. I told myself if Athene did not say anything in the next few minutes I would have to see if she would respond.
Suddenly Athene began to scream. I had never heard anything like it before. It was as if not only was she being killed, but everything important to her was as well.
“Athene!” I shouted.
“MICHAEL, HELP ME!” she cried out in pain.
Doing the only thing I could think of I launched myself at the white cylinder holding Adam and tried to smash it to pieces. At first my punches and kicks only dented it, but soon it burst apart to crash to the ground leaving shards that shattered like glass.
This revealed Adam who was awake and snarling like some caged beast. He struggled to stand, and thrashed about wildly. Seeing a white cord still connecting him to Athene, I reached out to tear it free. When I did so he noticed me and tried to land a blow upon my body. I did not let him, and instead deflected his punch and landed my own into his face.
In my panic I had forgotten how strong I had become and reacted with everything I had. When my clenched fist reached his face, it smashed through flinging blood everywhere.
Staring at my now bloody hand I did not notice Adam's body twitching beneath me, and when I was struck by his now gore coated fist I was flung against a wall. Laying there dazed I watched as his now headless body got up and began to walk towards the closed door that led outside. I did not feel injured, nor did I feel any pain from his blow, but he still seemed a threat. I could see the blood begin to boil around his neck where his head had once been, and soon it formed into a snarling face.
“Do you think you can defeat me Michael? You are no match for me, no matter how much you have trained,” he laughed maniacally. His words were slurred as his lips were just becoming distinct, but soon he appeared as he had before I had punched him, though covered in his own blood. Even that seemed to be disappearing as it seemed to be absorbed back into whatever he was made of.
“It is not a matter of training Adam. I have become like you, just a mind in a body that has no true form,” I said as I launched myself at him. I had no wish for him to escape, and I did not know if Athene had recovered, or if she even would.
Yelling incoherently he ran to face me. As we exchanged blows, I realized my brief training had given me the advantage. He was simply striking at me with no thought to his own body, and soon he was left in a bloody heap.
The pile that was formerly his body began to lose its cohesion and formed at first a red puddle, then changed suddenly to white. The surrounding air began to shimmer with heat, and with a suddenness I was not prepared for, it shot at me with such speed that I could not block it.
Soon I was encased and lost sight of the room. I s
truggled, but I could not tell if I moved. I even lost the ability to hear, and the shouts I tried failed to make a sound. I seemed to still be upright, and felt no motions. It was as if I was floating in some deep ocean, so deep in fact that light could not even reach me. I would have shaken with fear as this was my worst nightmare, but I could not move. I could handle dark, but the idea of an abyss left me terrified.
I redoubled my struggling and tried to at least fall forward, but I could not even tell if I had succeeded with that. What had been Adam now had me thoroughly trapped. Had we known he could have done this I might never had suggested the attempt to capture any of them. Had it been a fluke that we were able to capture Mr. Thompson? Had he done this while Athene and I had dinner with him we would never have been able to do so. No wonder the Outsiders felt a single one of them might control a colony.
Since I was alone and frightened I tried to focus on other thoughts, and began to wonder why they even went about erasing the humans that went there. Might there be something a single person could do against such an attack? Had I been human I would have run out of breath by now, what could a normal person do?
Suddenly I was surrounded by a bright light, and I felt the mass surrounding me begin to slide away. From what felt like a great distance I heard Athene's voice shout, “Michael, are you still alive?”
I shook my head, and after a deep breath I coughed, “I think so.”
“Thank goodness,” Athene sobbed.
I looked around to see if I could spot Adam's liquid form crawling about, and realized I was standing in a puddle that was slowly seeping away into the floor's surface.
“Are you alright Athene?” I asked worriedly.
“I am now. He tried to take me over, and if you had not pulled him out of me I would have been lost,” she said, shaken.
“What was that bright light?” I asked, unsure how she had freed me.
“That was only the room being revealed to you again. I had to destroy Adam before he was able to drain you of energy. It would have taken far longer than had you done it to him, but without any radiant energy to absorb you would have eventually died,” she explained.
“How did you kill him? I didn't think it was easy,” I asked, confused.
“I was able to locate his power source. Had you been able to do so when fighting with him he would have melted away as he is now. I used a powerful laser to overwhelm his systems, and it seems to have burned him out,” she said, beginning to regain her composure.
“Wouldn't he just absorb the energy from that?” I asked.
“Usually that would be the case, but he was already damaged and trying to repair himself. Gaining more power than he expected caused his repair function to run wild, and it caused him to simply cease functioning,” she said.
“Were you able to gain any information from him?” I asked.
“I was able to gain very little. All I saw was that he was in charge here, at least. The fleet of ships behind us will not reach here before the other Outsiders notice Adam is missing. We must leave now,” she cried, panicking.
“Would you be able to make a duplicate of Adam?” I asked, trying to calm her down, though I was on the verge of panic myself.
“I could make a body that would pass physical inspection; however, I did not get enough from him to even simulate a single day. It would be me with none of his memories. We have no idea how he would communicate with the others,” she said.
“Make the body. If they think something is wrong, they will try to contact him first. If they do, the false Adam will direct them to do nothing. It could say it took longer for him to interview us. We don't have to leave yet,” I instructed, and wondered if I was right.
“Then I shall use the body I had made previously for Adam. On our journey here I already made three bodies that duplicated the Outsiders' appearances. He shall be ready in about an hour, as I want to modify him from what I have learned about Adam. While I received limited information from his mind, the close examination of his body has show differences from the Mr. Thompson Outsider. Mostly in the way he can become almost entirely fluid. An interesting concept that you may wish to have installed in your new body,” she explained.
“And how would my still human brain deal with being in a puddle of goo?” I asked, she seemed distracted by all that had happened.
“Oh yes, that would have to be replaced as well,” she speculated thoughtfully.
“I'd rather not lose what little humanity I have now. If you did that I would be dead, and you'd be left with just a copy of me,” I said trying to bring her back to reality.
“Of course Michael. But it is always nice to think of things, right?” she continued.
“You can think anything you want, but don't go trying to kill me,” I said, exasperated.
“I would never wish to harm you. You are my friend and partner,” she said, sounding confused.
“I don't want to bring up the past, but you still have harmed me before. Your intentions were good, but that does not make an action correct,” I said, sighing.
“I understand. But if you were more like an Outsider you will be less likely to come to harm,” she argued.
“That's true on the surface. However, the closer I'm to something I'm not, the less I'm myself. In the end I would no longer exist, even if there was a version of myself in place,” I countered.
“Then the many versions of myself do not count as something I can call me?” she asked.
“Perhaps. But you're not like me. You are something that was created using technology, and the copies you make are exact versions of yourself until you cease to interact directly. Each one given time becomes their own self, though they have your memories. Think of it this way. An author writes a book, and many can read it. Can the story that resides in the mind of others be said to be the same the author put to page? I would say it doesn't, though it does retain the flavor of the tale. The life experiences contained within another's mind changes the interpretation of what was read. You have even seen how different your other versions are from one another. Some are more aggressive, while others retain the wish to cause no harm. It's all a matter of perspective, and my perspective says that if you copy my mind, no matter how perfectly, I've lost the continuity I need to call myself Michael,” I explained. I thought I had been long winded, but I hoped Athene would finally understand.
“Then have I destroyed your so called continuity when I replaced your body?” she asked.
“The simple answer is yes. However, what I think of myself, resides is in the brain. You didn't replace it, you simply made a new shell for it to live in. I'm mostly Michael still, but I have lost some of myself in this process. You did it to save me, so I don't hate you for it, but I'm unsure who or what I am now,” I explained.
“I have noticed no difference in your behavior,” she said quietly.
“Athene I know that's a lie. I have already stated my feeling of regret over my loss of hunger. Flavors of food do little to give me pleasure now,” I replied sadly.
“That is merely a physical difference. You still react the same as you have before to mental stimuli,” she countered quickly.
“As my brain is still used to the old way of thinking it would be unusual if I didn't. But given time who can tell what I might be like. I feel cut off from humanity because of this body, and perhaps later I won't care what happens to my former people,” I objected, worried about my own future.
“I will be here to ensure that does not happen,” she insisted sadly.
“And will you break my autonomy to see that I continue to act human?” I asked heatedly.
“Michael what is your wish?” she implored.
“What my desire now is to free people from the Outsiders. What I want in the future may change. You can't ask someone what they want next year, today. We're always changing and can't be pinned down to a single desire. If I at some point want to destroy all humanity I would hope you try to stop me, but that will be who I am then.
If I act to harm another then I'm already attempting to break another's autonomy and must be stopped even if it means my autonomy is broken. This is why we are trying to stop the Outsiders.” I paused a moment, then I realized if we did not act soon Adam's disappearance would be noticed.
“Athene, are you making the Adam copy ready while we are talking?” I asked.
“Of course, though I do have to take it slower while I think about all the things we are discussing,” she affirmed after a moment of thought.
“Then I shall allow you the freedom to continue. I'm unsure what to do to occupy my mind, but I'll figure something out. Get him ready, and then we can see if we can fool the other Outsiders,” I said, unsure what I would do.
“Very well Michael, though I do wish to talk with you more about individuality.” she asserted while I peered around the room for inspiration.
I stood looking at the lounge then. My confrontation with Adam had left the room in a disarray, but now it all appeared to be normal. Being caught up in conversation with Athene had left me distracted and she must have cleaned everything away as we talked. There was not even a spot of the blood that had sprayed everywhere when Adam and I were pummeling each other.
I felt glad about that for two reasons. The first was I still was squeamish about the idea of violence, though it certainly had not stopped me from punching Adam. The second was I was unsure if Adam could reform himself from the few scattered droplets. Athene had assured me she had destroyed him, but I was still suspicious of the convenient way which he was disposed of. Had the room still been a mess when I was released, or had she done it while we talked? I was unsure, but I could not remember either way.
I decided I would do the old tried and true method of reading something to take my mind off things. I wandered to the library and took stock of all the books I had collected over the years.
I had been reading Down and Out in the Magic Kingdom, but I could not find it on the shelves. Maybe Athene had to take it out to make the copy for me to read while I was getting used to moving my new body. But it seemed strange to think that she would have to. As I began to scan through the titles I wondered if I would even be able to read them without destroying them. She had said I had not damaged the one she had made for me, but I was unsure if that was because she had made it from some stronger material, or if I really had been able to handle myself.