by C. J. Valles
Death is the least of my apprehensions in this den of evil.
Rebecca’s words to her captor, Brian de Bois-Guilbert, the knight templar who fell under her spell and kidnapped her. Who marked this passage? I wonder. The implication of it makes me cringe. A fate worse than death. Is that what I face? I go back to the beginning of the book and start reading to pass time until I can figure out what to do. Within a few paragraphs I’m surprised by how far I got in the fourth grade. I yawn as I try to focus through all the yore and churls, and soon I’m having trouble keeping my eyes open. But every time they close, I feel a flash of panic.
Something is wrong. I can feel it. Who do I trust, though? My gut says Alex, the one I logically shouldn’t have faith in. Getting up, I begin pacing like an animal in the zoo. I have no answers, only questions. I turn back to the couch and see a tray with nonperishable food. I don’t know who left it for me, and suddenly I’m afraid of everyone’s intentions. Returning to the couch, I push the tray away and pick up Ivanhoe again. When I begin feeling tired again, I give up in hopes that maybe when I wake up this will all have been another bad dream.
“They have him!”
Blinking blearily, I feel arms around me, and I see that I’m still on the couch—curled up against Alex. I stare up at Audra, who is gazing down on us, her azure eyes as enraged as I’ve ever them.
“Was this part of your plan?” she thunders at Alex.
Chasen appears and touches her shoulder.
“We don’t know that,” he says.
“We do now. Ever makes no contact for forty-eight hours, and then this just appeared on the feed.”
She hits a button on a remote and points at the wall. I stare, fixated by a grainy black and white image of two figures dragging a third. I bolt upright. Ever.
“What do we do?” I scream.
“We should do what he should have done the first moment he laid eyes on her—destroy her now before we incur anymore losses,” Audra spits.
She means me. Feeling like I’ve just been slapped, I wince. A lot can change in a week. My eyes flit to Chasen, and even he looks shocked by her outburst.
“Well, Audra, my dear, what can I say? This was part of the plan,” Alex says.
He grabs me around the waist before I can jump away from him, and everything goes black.
22: Now I Let Go
I come to coughing and retching, kneeling in the sand.
“What did you do?” I gasp desperately when I see Alex towering over me.
My eyes sweep around. As dizzy as I am, I know where we are immediately. West Street Beach. Alex doesn’t answer me. Instead he turns, keeping me behind him. I have to swivel in my kneeling position to catch sight of the approaching figures. They’re floating across the sand like wraiths.
“Why?” I whisper to his back. “Why now?”
He doesn’t say anything. He just watches silently as they approach. Two girls are up ahead, one with spiky carrot-orange hair, the other with a long, night-black mane. As they get closer, my knees weaken. Ever! Audra was right. Behind them are two young men, one with a shock of pale-silver hair, the other with long, snow-white hair pulled back. Ever is doubled over between them, being dragged. I lunge to my feet, but Alex restrains me. When they get to us, the girl with the jet-black hair smiles, but her eyes don’t reveal any emotion.
“We always knew you would return to the fold.”
“Please, come closer,” Alex purrs with a smile in his voice. “It’s been so long.”
“We’ve struck a great blow, brother. Hand that one over, and all will be forgiven,” says the young man with silver hair.
His black eyes slither over to me, and I realize that of the four of them, he scares me the most. When Alex turns and looks at me, I shake my head.
“Why?” I whisper again.
“I am sorry, Wren. I wish I deserved you,” he says softly.
He turns back to the four.
“Brothers, sisters. Are your memories so short that you’ve forgotten what exquisite liars torture will make of your captives?”
I stare at his back in utter confusion. Glancing at the four wraiths, I see doubt in their eyes as well.
“Ever, please prove to Wren here that you are indeed as devious as I am,” Alex says theatrically.
Speechless, I watch Ever’s head rise from its wilted position. With an expression of pure cunning, he straightens his arms, emitting a blinding white light that sends the two holding him flying in opposite directions. I don’t have any time to be relieved that Ever’s all right before Alex grasps me to his chest and turns us away from him. A second later, I feel the ground pulse, and when I look up, the two girls are gone as well.
The instant Alex releases me, I run toward Ever. He holds me to him, but when I turn, I see the four figures are already advancing on us, which means that Ever’s powers are a deterrent, not a solution.
“So, that was the plan, guys? Make them really, really angry?” I cry.
Alex joins us, and they both just stand there, waiting.
“Have you lost your freaking minds? Let’s get out of here! Shift! Do whatever it is you do!”
Alex reaches out and touches my cheek, and Ever does nothing to stop him. That’s when I realize something really bad is about to happen.
“No more running, Wren,” Alex says calmly.
An overwhelming sense of dread swallows me as he smiles. I watch in horror as he pulls a blade I’ve never seen before from his side and turns to Ever. I recognize the material; it’s made from the same substance as the infinity pendant Ever gave me.
“Ever, what was it you’ve always said? Time is nothing?”
The four of them are almost on top of us when Alex turns raises the knife in the air. A look of shock ripples across the faces of the four unnatural creatures before him, and I’m afraid he’s going to charge them with only a knife.
“You fool!” the girl with orange hair hisses. “You’ll be lost as well!”
“Then I suppose I’ll see you back in the hell we came from.”
I scream, and Alex turns back to me and smiles.
“Wren Sullivan, I shall never forget you.”
Ever grabs me as I lunge forward. Alex slashes the knife in the air, and I watch a black seam appear and begin to widen. Alex steps through the chasm, and the four, their expressions frozen in loathing, are sucked in after him. Seconds later, it’s just Ever and me, alone, on the beach. My body and mind are numb.
It’s over, but not in the way I expected.
“How is he getting back?” I whisper blankly.
When Ever doesn’t respond, I look up at him and know my answer immediately.
Never.
Alex is never coming back. I look at the spot where I’m standing and understand why I’m here. This was his goodbye.
23: Living
It’s been more than a week since I watched the enemy I thought I knew step into oblivion to save me. It’s been more than a week since the unexplainable has been washed clean. Now that I’m back in Portland, my week in Southern California, which feels like it lasted an entire lifetime, has been swept away. And my efforts to erase my life here have been obliterated. My frantic journey around the globe now seems like nothing more than a diversion, but whether the diversion was for me, the enemy, or both, I still don’t know. I may never know.
In quiet moments alone in my room, I’ve been piecing things together. Earthquakes are no longer just earthquakes; they are an announcement that something else has entered this world. And moments I thought were dreams have turned out to be reality. People I thought I knew as friends or enemies have turned out to be ever changing. And now I know that the only way to save me from a lifetime of solitude was for Ever or Alex to step into the blackness and take the enemy with.
Alex brought me back to where I almost died to give me my life back.
***
“This is so unnecessary. Really.”
I’ve been saying this for days, but n
o one has listened. The problem is that Ever’s idea to throw a party to make up for the dance—the one I missed at Springview—means not only dancing but also seeing Audra, who I’ve managed to avoid since she decided it was better to kill me and be done with it.
“Wren Sullivan, go upstairs and get ready right now!” my mom orders. “I want to see you in your dress. I still cannot believe your father booked you a flight for spring break the day of your first dance. I swear! That man!”
“Mom! Take it easy. I forgot to tell him about the dance.”
Everyone—my mom, my dad, my friends—believes some variation of a lie about why I was gone through the first half of the week following spring break, and why I had to miss the dance. The story involves a last-minute trip to Mexico with my dad—not a whirlwind trip around the world trying to outrun or outsmart Alex’s former cohorts. My brief time at Dana Point High School has been washed clean, too. But I doubt anyone there would have missed me, anyway.
“Okay, okay,” she says. “But Ever is going to be here soon to pick you up, and look at you.”
She laughs, and I glance down at my workout clothes.
“What?” I smile innocently.
“You are impossible!”
As I trudge up the creaking stairs, I know that all of my transgressions, all of my mistakes—they have been washed away too easily. But I remember every mistake I’ve made, and every single one of them will haunt me. When I get into my room, my phone buzzes. I pick it up and see a text from my dad with a picture from our “trip.” The photo is, of course, altered—a conglomeration of pictures expertly cobbled together by an immortal hand. Considering Ever’s reluctance to wipe out my memory, he didn’t seem to have any problem making sure that everyone else’s recollection of my absence fell into one of two categories: fuzzy or completely false.
But things have been better with my dad. I’ve talked to him a couple of times, and I’ve already agreed to spend part of the upcoming summer in Southern California, despite knowing that Jessica will drive me absolutely crazy. It’s easier now to accept that my dad has a new life, because I do, too. And I feel less abandoned than I did. Having made my own choices, right or wrong, I’m no longer a little kid at the mercy of adult decisions. Plus, I’m now able to appreciate the fact that I have a little brother who I want to see grow up.
Going over to my bed, I lift the corner of the mattress and reach all the way back, pulling out the letter to my mom. Then I take the matches and metal candle holder from my desk. Lighting fire to the piece of paper, I watch it begin to burn and then place it on the metal as the edge begins to curl. As the paper blackens, I bring the holder to the bathroom where I wash the ashes of my note down the sink.
A few minutes later, as I step under the hot water of the shower, I let the confusion that I’ve kept bottled up wash over me. For once in several days, I let myself feel everything I’ve buried deep down, away from myself, away from Ever. I want to hate Alex. For manipulating me. For making me betray Ever. For making me betray myself. For sacrificing himself. And for leaving me with unanswerable questions about what would have happened if he had stayed.
When I stepped through the mirror, it was because I couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else paying for my choices. And I have to wonder—had that been Alex’s reason, too? Did he finally find the redemption he was looking for? But he’s gone, and I’ll never know. I should be happy that all of my problems have been neatly swept away, sucked into another dimension. I try to ignore how eerie it feels to be getting ready for another dance as I turn off the water. I tell myself that I didn’t know who Alex was at the time, and that it doesn’t matter now anyway.
The problem is that these are both lies, and I know it.
Wrapping a towel around myself, I comb out my hair and find the makeup kit that I brought back to Portland with the rest of my stuff. I dry my hair with the blow dryer, burning my scalp and hating every second of it. When I’m done, I apply my makeup like I just did—during another lifetime for another dance, another date.
Hurrying into my room, I pull on my dress, careful to avoid getting makeup on it. In the middle of struggling with the zipper, I hear the doorbell, and my pulse races. Not because I don’t know who it is. I know exactly who it is. My heart is racing because I keep expecting blame and condemnation that hasn’t come. I take the charm bracelet from my dad off the desk, but a knock at my door sends it flying.
“Honey?” my mom calls.
“Yeah! Come in.”
“What are you doing?” she laughs when I look up at her from under my desk.
“I dropped the bracelet Dad got me.”
I stand up and turn awkwardly to face her.
“What do you think?” I ask self-consciously.
“Oh, baby,” she smiles tearfully. “I think Ever is going to just about die when he sees you.”
I smile wryly and turn so she can help me zip up the dress. Then I hold out my arm for her to help me with the bracelet. She holds both my hands and looks me up and down, smiling.
“Do you want me to put your hair up?”
I smile again and nod my head. I’ve never been good at doing anything with my hair. She grabs my brush off the desk and starts humming. I watch in the mirror as she winds my hair into a chignon. When she’s finished, I reach out and hug her for several seconds.
“Mom, I can’t even tell you how relieved I am to have you here helping me with this stuff.”
“That’s what moms are for!” she laughs.
“Yeah, well I got lucky in the mom department.”
She picks up a small box wrapped in pale green wrapping paper, and my stomach flips. It’s the one she left for me before I ran away. Part of me keeps expecting her to remember all the terrible things I said to her, but even if she never does, I will be cursed to remember them for the rest of my life.
“Here, sweetie. I didn’t have a chance to give it to you before you left. Kind of an early birthday present.”
“Way early.”
I smile weakly as she holds out the box. Taking it, I carefully slide my finger under the tape.
“It’s not going to bite,” my mom laughs.
I grin at her and tear the paper. It’s a jewelry box. I flip open the lid and look down at the black diamond studs set in white gold. They were a gift from my dad. I’ve always thought they were beautiful, but I can sort of see why she wouldn’t want to keep them. To her, they must represent the past.
“Are you sure?” I ask.
“Absolutely.”
I take them out one at a time and put them in. She smiles again.
“There. They look much better on you, sweetie.”
“Thanks, Mom. You’re the best. I mean it.”
I hate myself for doubting her for one second, no matter how realistic Alex’s conjured memory was. Even if it wasn’t real, I will never forget the feeling of her saying she never wanted me here. I don’t blame him, though, because I realize why he did it. Because if I hadn’t been so hurt, I would have caved and come back to Portland immediately.
“I’m just glad you’re back. I don’t know how I’m going to survive with you gone for two whole weeks during the summer.” Her blue eyes widen. “Oh! Poor Ever. I left him downstairs by himself.”
I laugh.
“Mom, I think he’ll be all right.”
“Hurry up!” she says as she leaves.
Walking over to the bed, I pick up the shoebox. I’m still haunted by the memories of my brief stay in Southern California as I sit down and slip on the heels. Standing up, I find I’m steadier than I was a little more than a week ago, probably because I’ve had some practice. I walk to the door and take several deep breaths before opening it. When I reach the landing, I look down and see Ever waiting for me.
I stop breathing. How is it even possible, I wonder, to have this reaction every time I see him? But dressed in a suit, he’s even more stunning than usual. And for a second I almost abandon my doubts about this party-dance t
hing. It’s worth it just to see him like this. Waiting for me.
“Are you coming down?” my mom laughs.
I glare.
“Just trying to make sure I don’t kill myself on the stairs.”
Before I can move, Ever joins me and offers his arm. Suddenly I feel like royalty. By the time we get to the bottom step my mom is in tears again.
“Oh, sweetie.”
Squeezing Ever’s hand, I go hug my mom again.
“Caroline, I’ll have Wren home by midnight, if that’s all right with you.”
She waves us out the door, and I smile at her one more time. Ever holds my hand as we walk down the steps. When we reach the curb, he stops me.
“You truly have no idea how beautiful you are, do you?”
He takes something out of his pocket and motions for me to turn around. A moment later I reach up and touch the infinity pendant.
“You’re going to have to stop taking that off,” he says dryly.
My smile comes out crooked.
“I know. Every time I do, things go to hell.”
He opens the car door and holds my hand as I step in. I look down at my dress. I felt like a princess a few seconds ago, but the feeling has faded. There are so many unknowns, so many holes in what I thought I knew. Part of me wants to be angry with Ever for not telling me about the plan he made with Alex, and I’ve been plagued by insecurity and doubt—and not just about the things that are beyond my control. Since watching Alex disappear into nothingness, I’ve had doubts about everything.
Even my own soul.
As we drive toward his house in the hills, I look over at Ever, and he smiles. I can see a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes as well, and I know why. After watching Alex step into the darkness, I felt something in me crack. Since that moment, I’ve been able to summon my internal wall and shield my thoughts from Ever almost effortlessly.