by Ruby Duke
What I got was something so much more. An admission. A revelation.
A job for Perry, perhaps?
“You know, facing the wardrobe is generally a good place to start.”
I spin to find Corinne in the doorway, watching me pry into her personal effects. “What I said in the car …”
“You were hurt, so you lashed out. I get it.” She crosses the room to pull a small case from the back of the wardrobe. “Don’t do it again.”
“I meant what I said about this being good for both of us.”
“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” she muses as she heads for the door again. “Considering I don’t know much about you.”
The ringing of my phone pulls me from engaging further on the issue. I retrieve the device and frown at the screen before hitting End. If he wants to talk, then he can call back when I’m not fucking busy.
By the time Corinne returns, I’ve selected a fitted dress with a geometric design that runs from hip to hem on one side. It’s sure to make her best asset look goddamn amazing. The top crosses over in a plunging neckline, assuring me of a good view while we eat.
Interestingly enough, it still had the tag on.
“Haven’t worn this yet?”
She sets the packed case against the wall and sighs. “I bought that in a … moment.”
“Of clarity?” I lift an eyebrow and cross my arms.
“Insanity.” She eyes the dress, lifting it from the bed. “Let’s say the sales woman was good at her job.”
“You don’t like it?”
“I love it. It doesn’t like me.”
She sucks a sharp breath as I take the hem of my T-shirt in hand from behind, and pull it slowly up her body. Corinne sets the dress down, allowing me to slip the cotton over her arms, and to the floor. Her head tilts to one side and I push her hair over one shoulder to expose the beautiful expanse of flesh on her neck.
My teeth are mere inches from the prize when a loud knock at the door startles her from our reverie.
“Shit.” With an effortless turn, she spins from my hold and dives for the T-shirt on the floor. “It might be Sarah.”
Better fucking not be. I already dislike the woman after the talk down she gave Corinne. Not sure I could hold back if she’s the one to cock-block me too.
“Not expecting anyone?” I pry.
Her hair slides forward as she shakes her head. “Wait here.”
With a sigh, I sit on the edge of her bed like the dutiful little dirty secret I am. I kill the time it takes her to get to the door by straightening the dress beside me. There. Nice and neat.
“No. It’s fine,” Corinne assures whoever is here.
Must be Sarah.
“Can I come see you later? Now isn’t a good time. I’m in the middle of something.” Her panicked dismissal peaks my interest. Lover? Fuck boy?
Goddamn—I thought I delved into everything when it came to her.
“Who’s shirt is that?”
Bastard. My nostrils flare as I lunge off the bed and march down to the living area. “Chase.”
“Jordan.” He stops midway into her apartment when I emerge from the hall.
Corinne shuts the door, mouthing “Sorry.”
Not much she could do to deny who her visitor is when she has my college shirt on, is there?
“What the fuck are you up to?” Her brother takes a step forward, drawing my attention from Corinne.
Chase isn’t exactly a small guy. Star starter for his football team back in the day, it seems the guy hasn’t been able to drop the habit when it comes to the gym. Still, I could take him.
Call me cocky, but I like to think of it as confident.
“I’m not sure this is any of your business.” I cross my arms, doing what I can to appear bigger than I am.
When it comes down to it, we’re all still gorillas.
“It sure as hell ain’t your business, Jordan.”
I give him what I hope is a “Shut the fuck up” stare. He doesn’t comply. Never did.
“You told her?”
“Told me what?” Corinne steps forward.
Chase puts an arm out to block her and keep her behind him. The action doesn’t go down well with me one tiny bit.
“Tell you what he does to earn that goddamn car that’s in your parking spot, sis.”
Her crisp blue eyes shift to me. He’s talking her language. Damn it.
I plow a path between the two of them, collecting Corinne as I go. She stares at me with a thousand questions in her eyes as I hold her by the upper arm, blocking Chase from view. “We’ll talk about it later.”
“Now,” she grits out through a stiff jaw.
“How did you meet each other?” Chase moves around her modest sofa so he can see her. “At that bar?”
“At your party,” I answer, eyes still on the woman who hangs in the balance. “Isn’t that right, Corinne?”
“Yes.” She shrugs out of my hold and faces her brother. “I first saw Jordan at your eighteenth, so how about you tell me why it is you kept in touch with him all these years if he’s so much trouble.”
“To keep an eye on him,” Chase offers.
“Insurance,” I explain. “He doesn’t trust me.”
“I shouldn’t.”
Can’t argue that one.
Corinne’s head swivels as she follows our banter, trying to keep up. “Explain, boys. Now.”
“Not until you tell me why this fucking snake is in your apartment, and you’re in his clothes,” Chase counters.
“Because we’re fucking.” She folds her arms, chin high.
I could lick her cunt until she came as reward for that. Baby is proud. Baby wants to stay in this.
I’ve already won.
“You’re what?” Chase shakes his head slowly as though to clear the visual, probably sizing up whether he’ll rip into Corinne or deck me.
Neither option is going to fly.
“What the hell has he told you?” Chase asks, face screwed up with disgust.
“That he made his money in technology,” Corinne says defiantly. “Which I assume is the truth considering Ted hired him to investigate how one of our clients sites was hacked.”
Chase sighs, head dropping as he pinches the bridge of his nose.
I consider punching him first just to shut him up before he says something I’d rather he didn’t.
“He’s the guy you got fired for?”
Like that.
“How the hell do you know that?” Corinne exclaims.
“Sarah.” He levels her with a hard stare. “She called me in a right state after you hung up on her. You should say thank you, when you call her back, because she obviously decided for your sake to omit who it was you were sacked over.”
“Why are you here, then?”
“Because you won’t answer your phone, and because she wanted me to check you were okay.” He shoots one hell of a hate-filled stare my way. “Which obviously, you’re not.”
“She’s fine, Chase.” I take a step forward. “Be even better if you left.”
He leans around me to talk to Corinne still. “He’s a hacker. Did you know that? Ever wonder how he knows so much about internet security?”
“Shut up,” I warn. “Stop talking before you say something really fucking stupid.”
“What?” Corinne backs toward a seat while her brother and I face off.
“Like what, Jordan?” The asshole decides it’d be wise to bump chests. “Like how if it wasn’t for me you’d be in prison already?”
“Last warning, pal. You’re only standing because I respect your sister.”
He laughs. Fucking laughs, and then shunts me in the shoulder. “Enough to tell her truth, huh?”
He doesn’t get another word in before my fist hits his face.
“Jordan!” Corinne shoulders past to check on her brother.
He pushes her away. “I’m fine. But you need to ask this asshole to leave before I call the c
ops.”
“Go for it,” I taunt. “You’d never do it because you’re hands are as dirty as mine.”
You don’t exactly help a hacker stay out of the slammer without reaping the benefits yourself.
“I think you both need to leave.”
Seems Chase and I finally agree on something when we both look to Corinne with shock.
“We’ll stay in,” I offer. “Order Chinese and hash this out.”
“Only thing you’ll be hashing out is the fucking key on your goddamn illegal keyboard,” she fires back, making Chase chuckle.
I might have laughed too, if I didn’t feel the desperation inching in as she pulls away. So close …
“Out.” Chase points to the door. “Assholes first.”
I’m not going fucking anywhere. Not when I’m this close to reaching the goal I’ve worked toward for near on a goddamn decade.
“Please,” Corinne begs. Her hands fist the sides of my college shirt as she hugs herself. “Give me tonight.”
“One night,” I cede. “I’ll give you one more night.”
And then, she’s all mine. Whatever the cost.
FIFTEEN
Corinne
I’ve decided it’s a sickness, love. Or lust, as it may be.
I dreamed of Jordan for years, built him up to be this god among men who’d whisk me way on his fine steed one day and spoil me like the queen I’m destined to be.
Seems he’s merely the devil in disguise, getting his kicks by ruining the lives of those he touches.
And yet all I can think about is him.
That body.
His touch.
The wicked smile he has before he blows my mind.
The intensity he displays while he’s lost I thought.
When he thinks I’m not watching.
I’m always watching, and that right there is the problem. I’m addicted to him. To his secrets, to the mystique … to the lie.
Perhaps if I learnt the truth it would kill the dream? Maybe that’s what I need to do? Remove the rose tinted glasses and dig below the dirt to see what rots beneath.
A gentle knock at the door breaks me from my stupor. I’ve sat in the same spot since Chase and Jordan left, wine clutched in one hand, his shirt bunched in the other.
Yeah. I shamelessly inhaled until his scent barely remains.
Like I said—I’m sick.
“Coming.” I unfold my legs off the sofa, and make my way to the door.
A small flame burns in the hope it’s him. But I know better than to expect him to beg.
He’s too proud. That compromise over Chinese was as good as I’d get. I should have said yes, but I was conflicted having Chase there. It’s silly, but I still want my brother to be proud of my choices in life. Sending Jordan away was one of those.
I unlatch the door, and lean against the wall as I pull it open. It swings to a stop revealing Chase again, but this time he has backup.
“Are you mad at me?” Sarah asks, worry in her eyes.
“Of course not.” I smile sadly, holding my brother’s gaze when she moves in for a hug.
Her arms circle me, careful not to knock the wine still in my hand. “I was worried about you, girl. You never hang up on anyone.”
“Because it wasn’t me that did it.” I chuckle sadly. “He was concerned.”
“With what?” She pulls away and moves into the apartment, Chase silently following.
I down the last of my drink as I shut the door. This is bound to warrant a second glass.
“He could hear you giving your opinion and thought it was upsetting me.”
“Was it?” She drops onto the sofa, Chase choosing to lean against the windowsill.
“A little. But you had god intentions, hon.” I hesitate with the wine bottle poised over the glass, and then set the vessel aside.
Fuck it. Tonight calls for drinking from the bottle.
“You’re awfully quiet now,” I snap at Chase as I settle beside Sarah. “Anything you’d like to explain?”
His lips press into a thin line as he sighs. “I never wanted you involved in any of this.”
“And yet I am. So how about you stop the big brother thing, and tell me what I got myself into?” I take a swig from the bottle.
His eyes harden at my hobo behavior. “It started after school, when we were barely fourteen. We’d hang out and fuck around trying to get access to adult sites without paying.”
“You dirty little boy,” I sass.
He shakes his head, un-amused. “Anyway, we managed it. Which, as you can imagine, was like the jackpot for teenage boys. But then I got busy with football and after a while Jordan and I just didn’t hang out as much anymore.” He lifts a hand to rub the back of his neck. “His coming to my party? That was like a last ditch effort at salvaging what we had. We were so distant that I never knew he kept up with the hacking, moving onto more serious things.”
“When did you find out?” I shift to allow Sarah to tuck her arm under mine as she settles against my side, watching Chase.
“Second year out of college. He got in touch, in a bit of a bind. He’d harvested credit card info using the wrong IP address. It got linked to a hack he’d done six months earlier and he was facing some serious fraud charges.”
“But you got him off them. Why?”
“Guilt. I felt as though if I’d been a better friend in school he wouldn’t have withdrawn so much and got into this mess.”
“He had a bad upbringing?”
“Adequate.” Chase shrugs. “There was care, but no love. He had what he needed to survive.”
Hell. I guess that explains why he got so touchy about it. “What about now?” I ask carefully. “What does he do now?”
Sarah reaches for the wine. “I’m laying bets on it not being much better, given who he runs with.”
“Who’s that?” Chase asks, eyes narrowed.
She takes a swig, and then passes the bottle back before answering. “Perry Whelan, and a guy connected to the Black Devils MC.”
“I knew about Perry, but …” Chase shakes his head. “Corinne, just stay away, okay? If he gets in touch, tell him you’ve changed your mind about all of this and let me know if he gives you trouble.”
“I can’t.” Because despite what I’ve learnt it doesn’t change how I feel about Jordan. If anything, it makes me want to see him more.
There’s obviously so much more I’m yet to learn, and I’d rather do it from him.
“Please,” Sarah says, tilting her head to look up at me. “He has dangerous connections, babe. Play it safe.”
Play it safe. Isn’t that what I did dating Aden? Isn’t that what I’ve done so far in life?
I’ve always been the good girl. The one our parents praised as having a level head. Being caught at work with Jordan? It stirred something in me, and I liked it.
I felt a little rebellious.
A little carefree.
And a whole lot alive.
“I’ll be careful. I promise.”
Just not how they think.
SIXTEEN
Jordan
A man can only jack off so many times before the memory of his obsession is no longer an adequate substitute for the real thing.
Something about a woman when she wears your clothes … damn.
I slam my hand down and switch the shower off with a sigh. I said I’d give her tonight and, goddamn it, it’s the least I can do. She went into this thinking it was a bit of fun. Little does she know I’ve planned it for years.
I fell in love with Corinne the day she offered to pour Chase and I a drink one particularly hot spring after school. I thought I’d hit the jackpot, finding friendship when most kids shied away from me. But damn, I knew I’d struck gold when I saw her beaming smile.
I watched her, never understanding why I was fascinated with the girl with the golden hair. She made me feel something I wasn’t used to: emotion. I actually felt. Mom and Dad? They provided, but they nev
er taught me much about anything when it came to how to deal with the feelings that tumbled inside of me. Crying was forbidden in our house—a sign of weakness—and love was shown with material things, rather than anything as basic as a goddamn hug, or heaven help them, praise.
I was rewarded with three solid meals a day and a roof over my head. I don’t disrespect what my parents did to provide me with that, one little bit. But when I saw Corinne, when I heard her laugh? I knew there was more to life. I knew I’d been missing out.
Darkness settled over the house an hour ago, yet I opt to keep the lights off as I wander through to my office with only my towel to keep me modest.
Why dress when I’ll be in bed naked later anyway?
I followed Corinne through college and into her career with completely different intentions to those I hold now. Sure, I wanted to make her mine. But I also wanted her to suffer.
I planned to ruin her. Same as she ruined me when she laughed at my invite out one Friday night, and then started dating that douche, Aden, when she got to college.
She broke my heart after showing it how to love, and I planned on tearing hers to shreds in reply.
But that smile. She gave it to her friend across that goddamn bar, and the whole plan went to hell. Nine years of planning, and suddenly I was fifteen and dumbstruck all over again.
Have a little fun, I reasoned with myself. Fulfill my fantasies on the road to ruin, I justified.
Just don’t fall in love again.
Might have been easier to do if I’d ever actually fallen out of it.
The glow of my monitor casts an eerie glow over the desk as I bring up Corinne’s Facebook page. The little indicator shows she was active almost a day ago, which brings me some satisfaction. It means she’s clearly still thinking of me—in whatever capacity—if she hasn’t sought out idle entertainment. Her mind is too busy.
My cursor hovers over her albums, and like the goddamn fool I am, I click through to her videos. Her laughter fills the room, the sound warmth on an otherwise cool evening. I watch as she dances across the screen, flitting in and out of shot while she interacts with the person taking the video. Her hair floats around her as she moves, the golden locks framing her face as she smiles wide and utterly carefree.