Lose Control

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Lose Control Page 7

by Donina Lynn


  Yeah, there was no use in fighting it. The man had more issues than she could count, but she liked him, and the thought of this being the start of a long and demanding, and thoroughly satisfying, relationship just made her smile more. She always said she would grab on to opportunities when they came along, and Cassie wasn’t about to make the same mistake she made all those years ago. This time, she was grabbing on to Myles with both hands and not letting go.

  When he turned to face her, she took in his stern face and the resolve present in his eyes. Myles straightened his spine, clenched his fists, and leveled her with a look that told her that she so wasn’t going to like what was about to come out of his mouth.

  “Thank you for stepping in for my assistant, Cassandra, but your services will no longer be needed. Please be assured, you will be fully compensated for the remaining days outlined in the temporary agreement between my company and yours. When you get your things together, there will be a car and driver waiting to take you to the airport.”

  Cassie gaped at him, speechless. Did he just really fire her? Right after they had sex? Oh, hell no! Cassie had never been fired in her life, and she wasn’t about to start now. Especially when she knew none of this had anything to do with her job performance. Did he honestly think she would quietly nod her head and leave? Her heart might be aching at how easily it was for him to send her packing, but she wasn’t going anywhere.

  She squared her shoulders and shot back. “Services, Myles? You were perfectly happy with my services a few minutes ago when you were fucking me up against the door.”

  “That’s not what I was referring to and you damn well know it, Cassie.” Myles took a deep breath and blew it out. As he did, his shoulders slightly sagged and when he continued, the hard edge to his voice was gone. “It would be better for the two of us if you just go.”

  “Better? Who are you to decide what’s better for me? What is this about, Myles?”

  “Doing the right thing.”

  Ugh! Could she get a straight answer from him already? Cassie searched his eyes, looking for any clue as to what was running through that head of his. Nothing. Not on the surface anyway. She didn’t doubt there was a huge pile of crap hidden deep down and perhaps behind a brick wall or two within the man. Taking a breath and willing herself to calm down, she prayed for patience and a little help getting to the truth of why he was acting like a jerk.

  “Myles, you can’t be with me one minute and fire me the next, giving me some cryptic answer as a reason. How about you tell me what’s really going on? That would be the right thing to do. Anyway, I’m not leaving this room until I get an explanation. A real one.”

  A quick of flash of pain and regret washed over his features before it was gone. “Cassie, I care about you, desire you, and want to be with you. But, when I’m near you, I can’t control myself. You tempt me beyond sensibility, and I will not be responsible for hurting you again. I can’t. I won’t.”

  Cassie’s heart gave a quick flutter at his words. Everything she could have hoped to hear come from him had just fallen from his lips. He cared for her, wanted, and desired her just as she did him, which was exactly why this ridiculous notion of his about hurting her was more than a little frustrating. “Myles, you did not hurt me. You haven’t hurt me. If I didn’t like anything you were doing or was uncomfortable in any way, I would have told you. Why is that so hard for you to believe?”

  “Because, she didn’t. She never told me and then she left. What’s stopping you from the doing the same?” His shoulders and face dropped even more before he continued, more under his breath than at her. “Christ, why would you even want to stay with someone like me?”

  Whoever “she” was had created a pit of pain and self-doubt inside a man who should be nothing less than completely confident and comfortable with himself. The way he was standing there, as if he was defeated and ashamed, tore at her chest, and she swore if she ever met the woman, she’d bitch-slap her for putting that look on his face. “Myles, who didn’t tell you? What happened?”

  A beat passed before he let the story pour from him. Cassie listened as he told her about his ex, how she didn’t enjoy his sexual preferences, asked him to change, and Myles, thinking he could, tried. He told her about how he struggled to be the man she wanted and something he wasn’t. How it felt to hold himself back and when she finally gave him the opening, his true nature emerged with so much force that he was blinded to how he was hurting the woman he had loved.

  “It was my fault, Cassie. I destroyed everything and for no other reason than that’s who I am. What I’m capable of.”

  In Cassie’s opinion, his relationship wasn’t the only thing that had been destroyed. Myles didn’t just have doubts, he clearly didn’t like himself, and that tore at her chest even more. She just hoped the damage wasn’t irrevocable.

  “Myles, it wasn’t your fault. Not all of it, at least. Yes, you should have questioned if letting yourself go with her was a good idea. But that doesn’t mean her giving you a free pass was a good one either. Let’s be honest, the two of you were doomed from the beginning, and if you want to lay the blame on someone, then put it where it belongs. On both of you. Actually, it’s more like a seventy-thirty split with your ex being the high seventy.”

  Myles shook his head. “No. I don’t believe that. I was the one…”

  Cassie shook her head back to stop him, refusing to let him give voice to his reasoning behind his self-loathing again. “Myles, I’ve been telling you over and over again I would stop you if you were hurting me in any way. I’m in charge of what happens to my body. Not you. If I told you to stop, would you have?”

  “Of course.”

  Cassie shrugged. “Exactly. She could have easily done the same. I’m not belittling or condoning the fact she got hurt. What I am trying to say is if she wasn’t comfortable, she had the power to end it. But, for whatever reason, she chose not to say anything. That’s on her. Besides, the two of you should have known it wasn’t going to work in the long run the minute she asked you to be something you weren’t. Myles, being in a relationship is more than just making the other happy. It’s about being happy with each other, too. Being content with who they are, accepting their strengths and their weaknesses. Having a compatibility, both in and out of the bedroom. You two simply didn’t fit together. I give you credit for trying, but you can’t change who you are. And no one should ever make you think you have to.”

  She walked over to him, placed her hands on his chest, and looked up directly into his eyes. “Now, you and I, on the other hand, happen to be completely compatible. I don’t want someone who is going to make love to me as if I’m fragile and easily breakable.” Cassie ran her hand down his arm. When she reached his clenched fist, she used her fingers to pry open his palm. Some of the tension left his body as she guided his hand up the back of her thigh until it rested flush against her backside. With her hand on top of his, she squeezed and tilted her pelvis into him. “I happen to like the way you handle me. Control me. Dominate me. I like you for you, Myles. No changes.”

  Cassie saw the indecision in his eyes before his other hand cupped the back of her neck and he slowly bent down to place his lips on hers. She instantly opened for him and melted her body into his, silently submitting and reassuring him she trusted him, belonged to him.

  What started as a slow almost sensual kiss gradually became more bold and powerful. She could almost feel the lingering doubt within him wash away with each stroke of his tongue. Soon it was the type of kiss she’d come to know was pure Myles. Consuming and demanding. He pulled her even tighter against him as his tongue dove and swirled, commanding her to do the same. When he finally broke the connection, his eyes burned with a hunger that caused an involuntary shiver to run down her spine.

  Nearly breathless, she asked, “Does this mean I’m not fired?”

  “That depends. Are you still considering flying off with Blake?”

  “Nah, I just wanted to make you jeal
ous.”

  Myles smiled and swatted her bottom, none to gently, in response. “Mission accomplished. We’ll discuss further punishment regarding that later. Against my better judgment, though, we need to deal with the little asshole first.”

  Cassie bit back a groan at the sudden sting to her backside and the promise of being punished. What she wanted was to forget all about Blake and to continue this discussion with her bending over to have Myles slap her again.

  Before the slapping could commence, though, Cassie needed to talk to him about where this was going, if they were going anywhere at all. Even if she did finally get through to him and was successful in alleviating his doubts, did that mean they were going to continue to see each other and explore this attraction between them tomorrow or the next day? The problem was she really didn’t know and, honestly, she cared about him too much not to. Cassie wanted more than something temporary. Three days with him wasn’t enough, and as soon as they were alone again, she was going to find out exactly what he wanted in return. By force, if necessary. Cassie smiled as a vision of Myles tied to a chair, naked, flashed in her mind. She might just have to tie him up whether he wanted to answer her questions or not.

  In a hurry to get the meeting over with, Cassie leaned up and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “I’m ready when you are.”

  Myles grew silent and reached out to slip a stray stand of hair behind her ear. His eyes held hers for a moment before he dropped his hand and stepped back. “Good. But, before you go to the conference room, stop at the bedroom and replace those.” Myles pointed at something behind her and Cassie turned her head to look. Lying on the floor, discarded, was what was left of her thong. Evidently, Myles didn’t like the idea of her sitting in the meeting with nothing on under her skirt. Oh, had the man learned nothing yet? Dangling that tidbit of information in front of her was entirely too tempting.

  Cassie went over to the shredded material, picked up the pieces, opened the door, and said loud enough that he could hear as she walked into the hallway, “Maybe I will. It’s more likely I won’t.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Myles chuckled when he heard her reply. He would bet a month’s salary she had no intention of going near the bedroom, and when he checked later, and he would, she’d be as bare under her skirt as when she left the room. Cassie was a stubborn, outspoken woman with a defiant streak within her about a mile wide. A smile spread across his lips. All good qualities from where he was standing. If it wasn’t for that headstrong attitude of hers, he’d be standing there still wallowing in his own hatred, and she’d be gone.

  Cassie saw the real him. But instead of running in the other direction, even when he gave her every reason and more than a few opportunities to do so, she had stood her ground, refusing to give up on him or them. She made him believe that, once again, he could allow himself to feel, give in to the emotions, and that love was within his grasp. All he had to do was reach for it. And because of that, he wasn’t going to give up on them either. Not anymore. Never again.

  He should have told her when he had the chance how grateful he was for her acceptance and for her. How when she had looked at him, he felt like he could be the man he was, not the one he’d thought he had to be. How her wanting to be with him, be a part of his life, was nothing less than a miracle. Suddenly, a future with them together was more than a mere fantasy, it was an actual possibility, and he was going to make it his goal, his mission, to make it a reality. Starting now.

  Myles walked out of the room with a purpose to his stride. Cassie belonged in his arms and that’s where she was going to stay. He might not have said anything before, but before the day was through, she was going to know exactly how much she meant to him. No more fear and uncertainty. No holding back. He was more than ready to hand his heart over to her. All she had to do was accept it.

  Myles bounded up the staircase and turned to the right. The conference room was directly ahead of him and he sped up to close the distance, itching to wrap things up with the men waiting. There was a much more pressing and pleasurable matter he wanted to attend to…Cassie. The sooner he ended the pissing contest with Blake over the contract, the better. In fact, Myles was going to state the offer once more and if Blake didn’t want to sign, then quite literally, it was his loss. A financial genius he wasn’t.

  Myles might even tear up the papers in front of him just to see Blake’s reaction when he finally realized Myles wasn’t going to give him what he wanted. The spoiled prick probably never had anyone tell him no, and he walked into the conference room more than willing to be the first.

  As soon as he entered, their conversation died and all heads turned in his direction. Blake, who had resumed his position with his hands clasped behind his head, spoke first. “Couldn’t zip it back up or what?” He laughed at his joke, put his legs down, and winked at Cassie. “Your assistant persuaded me into signing. All that’s left is the celebrating.”

  Myles lifted his eyebrow and glanced in her direction. “And how did Ms. Sorrelson manage that?” He wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

  Cassie smiled at him. “Blake was standing to lose a substantial amount of money by choosing the other company. By taking the competing offer, the upfront cash was a hefty amount and looked good for now, but within two years, because of their seasonal business operation and smaller sales volume, Blake’s income would be significantly less than what he could make with signing with The Mountain’s Peak. I wanted to make sure he knew the numbers before he left our offer on the table.”

  Myles smiled back at her. Not only was she beautiful and sexy, but Cassie was one hell of a business woman. Before he could thank her for saving the company from the painstaking task of trying to find another supplier, the sound of chairs being pushed back prompted him to focus back on Blake. Both he and his lawyer had gotten up and were making their way around the table to leave.

  “Myles, you should keep her around. She is definitely good for business. Give her what she wants. A raise. A bonus. Whatever it takes, man.” Blake stopped at Cassie and took her hand between his. “I know I would. In fact, if Myles doesn’t come through for you, here’s my number. You can call me anytime.”

  When he released her hand, Myles noticed the business card Blake had slipped to her. His jaw clenched, and through gritted teeth, he said in a voice that, more likely than not, sounded as jealous as he felt, “I assure you, Ms. Sorrelson will be more than adequately taken care of.”

  Blake put his hand up to the side of his face, and made the universal sign for me “call me” while mouthing the words.

  Cassie shook her head and chuckled. “It was nice to meet you, Blake.”

  “You too, sexy,” Blake replied before he came over to Myles, slapped him on the shoulder, and said as he walked out, “See ya around, man.”

  The lawyer, trailing behind, shook his hand and with never saying a word, left too. Myles blew out a relieved breath, sat down, and as soon as he heard the telltale thud of the front door closing, pulled Cassie onto his lap. Her surprised squeal was instantly silenced when he covered her mouth with his. He took his time, using slow and deliberate strokes, celebrating her taste and the soft feel of her lips on his. It wasn’t a kiss that was meant to claim. It was one full of promise. Too soon, he pulled back, not wanting to lose himself in her. Not yet. They should talk first. Then he would take her. Over and over again.

  “Wow. What was that for?” Cassie said as a satisfied smile spread across her face.

  “Showing my appreciation for a job well done.” Among other things. “I was ready to rip the contract up and tell Blake to go to hell.”

  She shrugged. “He just needed a little coaxing. Didn’t hurt when I showed him the amount of money he was going to lose either. Cash was the goal and I simply pointed out how he could have lots of it, for a long time. Not a big deal.”

  “It is a big deal, and since I happen to agree with him that you’re good for business, you won’t be needing this.” Myles took the card she
was still holding, ripped it in two, and tossed the pieces on the table. “I need an account manager, and you’re perfect for the position.”

  Cassie shifted to lean back, and Myles instinctively wrapped his arms around her to keep her close. “You’re offering me a job?”

  “Does that surprise you?”

  “Um. Yes. No. I’m not sure. What about…” Cassie’s words drifted off. She sat for a moment as if she was trying to find the right words, then took a breath and continued. “Myles, we never talked about this being anything other than a temporary arrangement. Both business and pleasure. If I take the position, what does that mean for us? Is there even an us?”

  The uncertainty in her words and showing in her eyes made his chest ache. He’d caused her to feel that way, made her question his desire to be with her. Myles reached up, placed his hand on the side of her face, and ran the pad of his thumb across her bottom lip. “Baby, I assure you, I want there to be nothing temporary about you. There is an us. Whether or not we continue depends on you, though. If you have any doubts, then end this. Right here. Right now. But if you’re positive I’m the man you want, tell me, Cassie. Say yes to me, and I’m all in. No going back. Never letting go.”

  Myles dropped his hand and waited for her answer. There had to be a choice. Where they went from here was a decision she had to make. Myles knew he was ready to devote himself to making this work between them. All she had to do was say the word. If she had any misgivings, though, if she was unsure in any way, then he needed to know now. Before this went too far and her leaving destroyed him. The knot forming in his stomach the longer she remained silent was a clue he might have passed that point already, though. Come on, baby, tell me yes.

  As if she heard his internal plea, Cassie leaned down until her breath fanned over his lips. She paused, a beat passing before she kissed him briefly and then moved to whisper in his ear. “Yes.”

 

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