“Unless, of course,” the king said, interrupting Alex’s thoughts, “marriage to Lena dunnae please ye, Alex.”
His chest tightened as he studied her. Her gaze was down toward her slippers, but with her hair pushed back over her shoulder, the flush covering her chest and neck was easily visible. Damn the king. His comments made it seem exactly as Alex feared—that he was rejecting Lena. His thoughts tumbled over one another, but there was no response that would not hurt Lena. If he said marriage to Lena would not please him, he’d hurt her and earn Iain’s ire. But if he married her, he had no doubt he’d hurt her in a different way and disappoint her.
Her small hands curled into fists once more, whether from embarrassment or fear of marrying him—or simply remarrying—he did not know for certain.
“Let me remind ye, Alex, yer land is mine to take away if I feel ye are nae faithful to me any longer.”
Seeing Lena flinch at the king’s words and what they suggested, Alex bit out, “Ye dunnae need to force my hand.” He didn’t give a damn about the land the king threatened to take, but he would rather die than make Lena believe she was not wanted, somehow sullied because of her past. He had to offer for her hand, but if she said yes, what then? He could not sleep in the same bed as Lena ever and risk one of his violent nightmares occurring.
“Alex!” the king boomed.
“Please, Sire,” Lena suddenly said, looking up. “He dunnae wish to be considered for marriage to one such as me.”
Alex cringed at her words. Such as her? The hurt in her voice cut him like a thousand daggers. “I’d be honored to have ye as my wife.” He prayed she did not think the words were spoken only out of fear of losing his land.
The wariness in her blue eyes made him twitch with anger at the king and Findlay Campbell. The woman had no notion how desirable she was. If Alex were a normal man, he’d have pursued her the day she had been returned to her family, but he was not like other men, at least not the ones he imagined were good husbands. But as he stared at her, he vowed to be the best man he could for her, and he prayed it would be enough. He took a breath and tried to settle the storm raging within him.
“If ye will have me, that is,” he said.
By the way Lena bit her lower lip, he supposed he had not succeeded in sounding pleased with the prospect of marriage. Damn his violent nightmares from his time with Gillis. And damn the way those memories had twisted him.
“What say ye, Lena?” King David asked. “Will ye marry Alex or shall I send a special messenger to bring one of the other warriors to us?”
Her gaze pierced Alex, making his breath catch in his chest. “I will nae make a good wife,” she said bluntly.
He admired her ability to be forthright and envied it. He was chained to his secrets for life, and sometimes the weight felt insufferable. He inhaled a long breath, fighting to calm the storm within him. He wanted more than anything to offer some sort of truth to her. “I’m certain I will nae make an acceptable husband,” he admitted aloud, “so it seems we are matched.”
She gave him a tight smile, though barely. Still, he’d claim it as a victory, knowing the perilous times that they would face because of the torture he suffered from Gillis. Her demons he would slay; his own were the ones he had no notion how to defeat. Yet, now that the path of marriage was set, he was determined to win her trust and ease her worries.
“Iain,” the king said, “Why dunnae ye accompany yer sister to prepare herself for the wedding?”
Lena gasped. “We’re to marry now?”
Alex winced at the trembling in her voice. No matter what desire she inspired in him, he would keep a tight restraint on it.
“Aye,” the king replied gruffly.
Lena clutched at her waist as if she was holding herself together.
“Lena can find her way to her bedchamber on her own,” Iain said, crossing his arms over his chest.
“I’m certain she’d rather have ye with her. Away,” the king said, and when Iain did not move, the king added, “I command it.”
Iain raked a questioning gaze over Alex. It was likely David wished to finish their conversation regarding the Steward, but Alex could offer no indication to Iain that he had any notion what the king might want. To do so would reveal information the king did not want known. So Alex shrugged, feeling much the betrayer to his oldest, most trusted friend.
The moment the door closed behind Iain and Lena, the king said, “I’ll declare at the wedding that I’m taking Cairnburgh Castle from ye for arguing with me over marrying Lena. It will seem ye are vexed with me for forcing ye to wed her.”
“Sire, there must be another way,” Alex ground out, hearing the anger in his own tone but not caring.
“Dunnae fash yerself, Alex. It is nae as if Cairnburgh is where ye live. I’m shocked a secondary estate even gives ye pause.”
“It’s nae the castle, Sire.”
“I’ll return the castle to ye the moment ye have discovered the traitors,” the king continued as if Alex had not spoken.
“I dunnae give a damn about the castle,” Alex growled. No one but his guards occupied it at the moment for training, and they could easily train at Duart, his main holding. “Ye will shame Lena if ye make such a proclamation.”
“I ken,” the king said, “and I’m sorry for it, but I feel certain ye will soothe her feelings and show her she has worth to ye.”
“But, Sire,” Alex began, not above pleading for Lena’s sake.
The king held up a staying hand. “It must be this way. I’ve reason to believe someone in the MacLeod clan is nae trustworthy, and if they believe ye to be unfaithful, as well, perchance they will approach ye. If things go well for us, they will reveal themselves before ye ride away, and then ye can use them, make them believe our deceit, so that they will vouch to my nephew that ye have broken with the MacLeods.”
Alex felt his mouth part. “I kinnae believe Iain and his brothers would nae be faithful to ye.”
“Nae one of the brothers,” the king said dismissively. “I would nae believe it, either, but it is best they dunnae ken the truth so that their real reactions help draw out the traitors. After I make the declaration, ye will storm away, taking Lena with ye. This will be the beginning of what will appear to be a breach between us. Go to Duart and send word to my nephew that ye wish to see him and join his cause.” The king speared him with a narrowed look. “I will have yer pledge on this, and if ye break it, I will have yer head.”
Alex clenched his teeth. “I give ye my pledge freely. Ye dunnae need to threaten to receive it.”
The king clapped Alex on the shoulder. “We are both tense,” David replied, his way of offering an apology without actually uttering the words. “Soon ye will seem a betrayer to all. Ye must remain strong.”
“Aye,” he replied, saying a silent prayer for himself, as well as Lena.
Five
Something was vexing Alex, and Lena had little doubt it was their impending marriage. The tense lines of his face revealed his displeasure, as did his halting words in the solar earlier. It was clear he felt forced to wed her. Anxiety knotted in her chest. She felt compelled, too, but what choice did she have, given the alternative of marriage to a Campbell?
She had hoped it had been her imagination earlier that had made Alex sound so reluctant to marry her, but there was no denying it now. She took a deep breath for courage and ran a smoothing hand over the gown that Bridgette and Marion had helped her don.
Iain stopped beside her and linked her arm with his. She glanced sideways at her brother, as he frowned down at her. “He will be good to ye. I vow it.”
She nodded and cleared her throat. “The king is forcing him to marry me,” she whispered so only her brother could hear.
The king, Father Murdock, and everyone who had been called to attend the wedding at this late hour stood near the dais at the front of the great hall. All her brothers and their wives were present, even Sorcha and Cameron. Lena felt terrible that their
wedding night was being intruded upon, but Marion had told her the king had commanded all her siblings to be present. So the wedding celebration for her youngest brother and Sorcha had ended. The guilt snaked through her once more.
“Nay,” Iain assured her, as a loving, dutiful brother would.
“Aye. Ye ken it as well as I do,” she said in a low tone. “He looks vexed.”
“Ye look vexed, as well,” Iain said in about as gentle a tone as she’d ever heard him use. “Ye did nae wish to marry, either, but I vow the two of ye will rub along nicely. Alex is honorable and will defend ye with his life.”
He’d expect to join with her, too, she suddenly realized, the thought making her heart race in fear. But she just nodded, not wanting to worry Iain any further. “We should move forward,” she forced out. She was aware that everyone had turned to look at them, and Alex was now openly frowning, as was the king.
Iain nodded and led her down the middle of the great hall. Lena’s legs trembled as she walked toward Alex, and she could not help but think about the last time she had been ordered to marry. She certainly was not comparing Alex to her abusive deceased husband, but both marriages had been thrust upon her. She’d known from the moment she stopped in front of Findlay in the chapel, when he’d berated her for daring to look him in the face, that the marriage would not be a happy one. Had she known in that moment just how horrid the marriage would be, she would have attempted to flee and risk survival in the wild.
With the thoughts of that night swirling in her mind, she looked down at her slippers and kept her eyes there through the entire ceremony. She heard Alex say his vows. His voice, smooth as velvet, washed over her and soothed her, yet the past continued to pummel her so she kept her gaze down. When it was her turn to speak her vows, she started them, only to feel the lightest touch of a finger under her chin and then an upward nudge. She lifted her head and met Alex’s dark-brown eyes.
“I would see yer face as ye become my wife,” he said, his voice low but intense nonetheless. His words did not sound like a command, though. She’d been commanded enough to recognize the difference in the way the words fell on her ears. His was a request, gentle and almost beseeching. Her heart squeezed as she nodded. She quickly said her vows as instructed, with the king looking on from beside the priest and her family at her back.
When she was finished pledging herself to Alex, the priest pronounced her his wife, and her brother Lachlan called out, “Ye must kiss to seal the marriage with good fortune!”
Her eyes went wide as her breath caught in her chest. She was going to embarrass herself! She was already trembling, and her palms were damp. Alex’s gaze darted to the king, and the king nodded, as if commanding Alex to kiss her. It was plain to see that he did not want to do so, and it left her feeling as if she were floundering in the loch during a great storm. Alex’s jaw had tensed at the king’s nod. His earlier words of being drawn to her like a bee to honey mocked her. He must have been trying to make her feel less awkward by being kind, and it had worked. How very clever of him.
But now things were different. Now he was stuck with her as a wife. Her embarrassment suddenly turned to fury—not so much at Alex but at Findlay that he had made her such a sniveling creature. She didn’t want to be this way. She wanted to have the same spirit standing in front of a man that she had around women. She reminded herself of a scared hound, and it burned her gut and throat. Alex turned to her, his achingly beautiful face tilted down to hers. Aware the king was likely waiting for Alex to obey his command, her gaze darted toward him, but the sheer size of Alex’s massive shoulders and his towering height blocked her view of the king and Father Murdock.
Alex drew closer, and her pulse sped up as his heat washed over her and a faint scent of pine tickled her nose. He raised his hands slowly, but even the care he was obviously taking did not stop the beat of her heart from taking to a gallop. But she clenched her teeth and fisted her hands, determined to stand still and not flinch when her husband—dear God above, this commanding man was her husband!—touched her.
Caution flickered in his eyes as he slid one of his hands around her waist to press his fingertips to the small of her back. She sucked in a sharp breath between her now parted lips, as his fingertips curved to her spine in a reassuring way. His touch was so exquisitely light and undemanding. It was nothing at all like Findlay’s had been. Still fear beat harshly in her breast put there by her past, but hope still threaded through it.
His other hand came to the nape of her neck, almost like a breeze against her skin, and then he leaned close, his lips barely grazing hers. Yet as the heat of his lips brushed across hers, something tugged deep within her belly and the blood pounding in her brain made her knees tremble. His mouth pressed near her ear, and he whispered, “Dunnae lose faith in me.”
He drew away before she could respond, but his urgent plea rang in her ears and sent worry rushing through her veins.
“I dunnae doubt ye disappoint yer bride with that kiss,” the king boomed, making Lena jerk at his words.
Alex’s nostrils flared as he cocked an eyebrow, an arrogant look sweeping his face. She frowned. She had never seen him appear pompous before, and she didn’t care for it.
“I did as I was ordered, did I nae?” he countered.
Lena gasped at his words, which both struck like a blow and made her worry about what the king—and his quick temper—might do.
“Alex!” Bridgette cried out.
He flicked his gaze to his sister momentarily and seemed to stiffen, but then he turned back to the king.
King David glowered at Alex. “I tire of yer insolence, MacLean. First ye argued with me over this marriage, and then ye offend the MacLeod with this show of distaste for his sister.”
The swell of pain mingled with shame put an ache in Lena’s breast.
“I’m certain,” Iain growled while moving from behind Lena to stand face-to-face with Alex, “that Alex is well pleased with his marriage to my sister. Are ye nae?” he demanded.
Iain’s dark look frightened, irritated, and embarrassed Lena. She refused to be thought of as a helpless woman her brothers needed to protect. “His kiss did nae disappoint me,” she said in as firm a voice as she could manage, hoping to end this conversation before any more was said. She stole a glimpse at Alex and found him staring at her with a look that she would vow was admiration. But that made little sense to her. He made little sense to her.
“I say the MacLean was insolent,” the king barked, “and for this insolence, I hereby strip ye of Cairnburgh Castle.”
“It’s the taking of land as ye please that’s brought a rebellion to yer feet,” Alex bit out. Lena’s jaw dropped at his flagrant defiance.
The king’s face turned a mottled red, and his hands fisted in front of him. “Leave me now, before I have yer head for yer disloyal tongue.”
“Sire,” Iain interrupted, but the king turned a narrowed gaze to Iain while holding up a silencing hand.
“I am king,” King David said, his voice lethal. “Unless ye are prepared to challenge me for my throne, keep yer silence.”
Lena’s heartbeat galloped in fear. Of course her brother did not want the throne, but she feared what angry words he might say. She could see his jaw tense, and she imagined him clenching his teeth in an effort to temper his response. Marion set a hand to her husband’s arm, and they exchanged a quick look. When he visibly relaxed, Lena exhaled with relief. Iain inclined his head in submission to the king, though her brother’s gaze wandered to her and settled there with obvious worry.
“When I call ye from Duart to return to me,” the king continued, clearly addressing Alex as he stared daggers at him, “be prepared to bend the knee and fill my chests with two bags of gold as repentance.”
“As ye command, Sire,” Alex bit out. Then, in a manner completely surprising and unmatched to the anger he was showing, he placed a gentle hand against Lena’s back, and said in a low tone, “Come, Lena. I’m sorry to say my
banishment includes ye as my wife.”
His voice, so sincere and apologetic, confused her. Publicly, he was behaving as if he didn’t want to be wed to her at all, yet he took such care with her when he handled her and seemed genuinely concerned about her feelings.
“David,” Iain said, “surely ye will allow my sister to at least gather her things before ye send her away with Alex?”
“Yer sister is free to stay if she wishes,” the king announced, surprising Lena and clearly surprising Alex. His mouth parted briefly, and then a fierce look swept his face and his lips pressed into a thin line.
She looked from Alex to her family. They stood clustered with tense looks on their faces. Her family represented safety but also unhappiness, for she was not truly happy at Dunvegan, nor was she whole. She did not have a real purpose here, though everyone kept assuring her she did. The silence stretched as she cast her gaze over her siblings and their wives, and then brought her focus to her husband, who looked dark and dangerous at the moment. They may not have wanted to wed each other, but they were married now. And while she still feared being touched, she could not deny that when Alex touched her, it inspired more than fear. That little bit of desire gave her hope, and she would choose hope, for without it, what was there to live for?
She swallowed as she kept her eyes locked with Alex’s. “My place,” she said slowly, “is with my husband.”
The moon was the only light in the sky as Alex gave the order for his men to begin rowing the birlinn that would ferry them home to Duart Castle. The Isle of Mull, where Duart stood, was off the west coast of Scotland and would take a fortnight to reach from Dunvegan. That meant he had a fortnight to hopefully ease some of Lena’s fears about being married to him, which required him to maintain absolute control over himself and distance from her when he slept. The latter would be difficult on the birlinn, but when he did take a bit of respite, he would do so away from her and have his clansman Donald stand guard to rouse him should the nightmares that often plagued him besiege him on the ship.
When a Warrior Woos a Lass Page 4