“Perhaps,” he mused, “but I do not think that is so.”
They walked several paces without speaking. Lorelei listened to the hush of waves across the sand and tried to imagine how someone went their whole life without ever hearing that sound. It was the most peaceful, beautiful thing she’d ever heard and even if she never saw the sea again, the memory alone would be enough to grant her solace in times of doubt.
“What if I told you Yovenna’s interpretation of events was not entirely accurate?”
“What do you mean?”
“Yovenna told you once you take back the Horns of Llorveth, it is up to you to summon the Tid Ormen and slay it. That much is true, but what if the reason you are unable to face and destroy the serpent is because you are not whole when the time comes to stand against it?”
“Because the wolf lies dormant inside me?”
“No,” he shook his head. “Your wolf will rise when it is time. This I have seen. What I speak of are the events to come after. You must be whole in order to face the Tid Ormen and defeat it.”
“Whole? What exactly does that mean?”
“At the present moment part of you is missing,” he explained. “If that part of who you are is not embraced before the time comes, you will fail.”
“You’re talking about Finn, aren’t you?”
“It is a strange thing,” he mused with a thoughtful grin, “the bond between mates. The concept is not altogether unfamiliar and alien to my people, but we have no such restrictions on our hearts.”
He allowed that thought to linger between them for several steps before going on, and in that short time Lorelei’s mind was abuzz. She was only just coming to accept the bond between them, letting go of her resentment over not having a choice regarding their future together. She’d spent so much of her life being told what to do, what her duties were as a daughter of kings. Discovering over the last few weeks a piece of her belonged to someone else made her feel constricted and stifled in the same way King Aelfric’s dictatorship over her future had, but what she had with Finn…
She’d been slowly coming to understand it was different.
He wasn’t just an inevitable future to resign herself to. He was a part of her, a missing piece she’d felt the absence of her entire life.
“Perhaps someone else already explained this to you, so if that is the case feel free to stop me. I am an old man, and I find wasting my breath something I do far less than I once did.”
“No one’s really explained it to me at all. Finn tried, but… I don’t know, he didn’t do a very good job, and the people of Dunvarak just pushed us together because that was how it was supposed to be. I mean, I’ve figured out most of it for myself. Finn and I are…bonded, I guess. Two halves of the same whole. Is that right?”
“U’lfer are born incomplete, and it is part of your life’s journey to find the other half of your soul. That is a beautiful thing, but complex in that losing a piece of yourself will leave you… unfinished, so to speak. If something were to happen to your mate, before or after your bond is established, you will remain incomplete. You cannot face the serpent if you are incomplete.”
“Wow.” She stopped walking, her feet shuffling through the sand, digging in a little deeper until she swore she could feel the dampness of it seeping into the toes of her boots. “That… wow. No pressure, or anything.”
“I imagine it is strange to you, because you are not full-blooded U’lfer. If all I’ve learned over the years is true, a mated pair needs no convincing. There is very little in the way of courtship when one finds the other half of their soul, but you seem to have some reservations about your connection to Finn.”
“It’s not that I have reservations. I just… I’m not ready for something like that, for some lifelong commitment.”
“A natural discovery of one another, as it were, is half the beauty of such a bond. I have always envied the U’lfer that. Though I don’t suppose you and Finn were given much time to discover one another naturally at all. You were forced together by circumstances beyond your control, and I imagine you’ve found yourself questioning it, as well as struggling with it.”
She didn’t know why she was being so open with him. Maybe the kindness in his eyes reminded her of Pahjah, or maybe it was just his nature, but she trusted the man walking beside her. More than that, she respected him.
“All my life I’ve been told I had to do this or that because it was my duty. I finally get away from my oppressive father’s hand, only to discover I am obligated to do the bidding of the gods. And I don’t even get a choice in who I fall in love with. They have their sticky fingers in that too. So yes, I struggle with it.”
“That is understandable, of course. You are little more than a child yet, but even a man who has lived as long as I can tell you firsthand life is short, Lorelei. Yesterday I was an apprentice looking for ways to escape my master’s scrutiny and have a little fun. One of these very near tomorrows I’ll be dead.”
“Please don’t say that,” she fretted. “I am already terrified for your life. Every seer I’ve met since I escaped the caravan has wound up dead within days of meeting me.”
“We all die, Lorelei, but that is not the point. The point is, you may resent your lack of choice, but one day you will regret even more how little time you actually had together.”
“I do care for him,” she said. “A great deal more than I expected to. I’d even go so far as to say I’m in love with him, but I question it because how much of it is real and how much was preordained?”
“Who is to say all emotional feelings aren’t preordained on some level we can’t even begin to understand?”
“Are they?”
“I know a great many things, but I would be lying if I said I knew that. I only know the two of you were meant for one another. He has an essential role to play if the cycle is to be broken.”
“So if something happens to Finn before I face the serpent, I will fail?”
“You cannot face the Tid Ormen alone, Lorelei.”
It was more information than any of the seer’s she’d met over the last few weeks gave her. She wanted to run back to the manor house, grab Finn and run far, far away, but they couldn’t do that, could they?
“What if we never wake the serpent?”
The sound of his laughter surprised her, made her feel foolish and silly to even suggest such a thing was possible. “Even attempting to avoid waking the serpent would wake the serpent. There is no way around it, I am afraid.”
“Then I guess there’s nothing for us to do but move forward.”
“And stay alive,” he agreed. “You must stay alive, work together no matter what. Facing the drakoren will be dangerous, even as time and solitude have weakened and distorted its mind. They are reputable enemies, and the coming of three fresh minds upon which to prey will empower it in ways it has not felt for years.”
“But it can be defeated? We’ve defeated it before, right?”
“At a great loss, but so long as you work together, yes. There can be no enmity between you when you face it, no distrust. Not even below the surface. It will dig deep inside you, draw everything you fear, everything you think and feel and fuel itself with those negative emotions. If there is tension between you now, you must all make amends before you reach the Valley of Sorrows, or it will be your undoing and the cycle will remain unbroken.”
Lorelei and the seer walked the morning away together before finally returning to the manor house. He regretfully parted ways with her in the garden, where Finn and Bren anxiously sat together at the table, neither of them having touched the food on the plates in front of them during her unexplained absence.
Finn sat up straight from a slouch as they came into the gates laughing. His narrowed and suspicious blue eyes glared across the endless green at their host. Brendolowyn seemed equally disturbed to find she’d wandered off with the seer, but no one said anything at all when the old Alvarii took her shoulders in his hands a
nd leaned forward to kiss her on each cheek.
“I have absolute faith in you, Lorelei. You may not know your strengths just yet, but you will discover them precisely when you need to.”
“I wish I had as much faith in me as you seem to, Seer.”
Before he left, Gwendoliir bid them farewell and said, “You are always welcome in Nua Duaan, fair Light of Madra. I hope you and your companions will take rest here on your return journey from Sorrow’s Peak.”
“Thank you, Gwendoliir, for everything.” She lowered her head in respect. “We will take you up on your offer.”
“Fervaal.”
No one said anything until after he departed. The servants set to see to their needs lingered in the yard, stiffly posed several feet away from the table and staring straight ahead, as if the garden itself were empty.
Lorelei drew a chair away from the table, slid into it and scooted toward her place setting. She actually felt hungry for the first time in a long time, but she had a feeling neither of her companions was going to allow her much peace. She kept waiting for Finn to leap out of the chair and demand to know where she’d been, but it was Brendolowyn who rose from his chair, craned his neck over the fence and then dismissed the servants.
“We…”
“Are not needed for now,” he cut off the stiff-necked woman before she could intervene on their behalf. “We have food and drink aplenty, and I cannot foresee any purpose for you to remain and eavesdrop on our conversations. You are dismissed.”
“Bren…”
Issuing his hand toward her in a commanding gesture, she leaned back stunned in her chair and watched gape-mouthed as the servants took their leave one-by-one.
“Bren, what…”
“I’ve no wish for every detail we speak of to find its way back to the seer.”
“We have something to hide now? We came here seeking his help.”
“And he helped us as much as he can. Beyond that… I don’t know. They say they’ll help us, but I don’t trust them. Why did he take you off on your own? What did he want from you?”
“Nothing,” she shrugged. “He just wanted to give me opportunity to ask any questions I might still have about what we face at Sorrow’s Peak, that’s all.”
When she sat down, she’d actually felt hungry for the first time in days, but Brendolowyn’s demeanor immediately culled her appetite. A strange amount of resolution came with openly accepting the idea that she and Finn were meant for one another, that without him she could not move forward. “And?” he pressed, still not returning to his seat. “What did you talk about? Did he provide you with anything useful?”
“Yes.” She turned her gaze toward Finn, who didn’t seem even half as put-out by her disappearance as Bren. “He told me why I continue to fail at this task and what needs to be done in order to prevent that from happening.”
Withdrawing her stare from Finn, she reached across the table and began layering food onto her plate, far more food than she would probably ever eat, but clarity made her hungry. It was as though all that time she’d refused to eat over the last few weeks, all those meals she’d been unable to stomach, finally caught up with her and she was starving.
“It was nothing we don’t already know,” she shrugged and dug her fork into a fluffy pile of bright, yellow eggs. Lifting it to her lips, it hovered just beyond reach as she added, “We all have to stay alive. What needs to be done can’t be done alone.”
“All of us?” Brendolowyn’s brow furrowed.
“All of us,” she nodded. The seer hadn’t said that, and maybe it wasn’t entirely true, but she didn’t care. She wanted both of them on her side, with her until the end, and the only way that was going to happen was if she kept them both alive. She honestly had no idea how she was supposed to do that, but she was damn sure going to try.
“We already knew that much,” Finn pointed out, filling his plate. “It was the point of our whole pact last night, remember?”
“Did he say anything else?” the half-elf asked as he fell back into his seat. He leaned almost casually against the back of it, bringing one leg over to cross atop the other and perching his elbow on the arm of the chair.
“Not really. Only that they are packing us provisions and we are welcome to take rest here on our return journey.”
“Too bad they don’t have a magic portal that will whisk us back to Dunvarak when this is over,” Finn lamented.
“Who knows,” she shrugged. “Maybe they do.”
They both looked toward Brendolowyn for confirmation, but the mage was distracted and hadn’t been paying attention. While Finn went on making jokes, eliciting a few rare laughs from her that encouraged him to go on kidding around, she found herself occasionally glancing toward Bren, watching him push the food around on his plate. He seemed, at times, to eat less than she did, and she couldn’t remember a single instance in which he’d actually slept.
He excused himself shortly thereafter, leaving her and Finn alone at the table. Her companion waited until the mage was gone before he leaned across the table and asked, “So, what did the seer really say?”
“I’ve already told you what he said,” she shrugged. “Nothing secret for me to confide in you that I couldn’t tell Bren.”
He regarded her suspiciously, drawing back in the chair and squaring his shoulders. Cocking his head to look at her, a rogue slip of black hair fell in across his cheek and she found herself almost overwhelmed by the urge to reach out and tuck it away. “So we all have to stay alive?”
“No matter what.”
“I hope we can do it this time,” he sighed, a heaviness furrowing his brow she’d seen more and more often of late. She found herself picking up on the resemblance between him and his brother when he grew worried in that way. “I gotta tell you, I’m not real keen on dying.”
“You’re not going to die, Finn.”
“No?” The barest hint of a grin drew at the corner of his mouth. “Are you gonna save me, Princess?”
“You better believe it.”
He chuckled, his eyes alight with intrigue just moments before he started bantering with her over who would wind up saving whom before all was said and done.
For once, she didn’t mind the argument; she took it in stride, even enjoying the playfulness of it as they sat through a casual brunch before heading up to their rooms to finishing packing their belongings so they could head out.
That one conversation with Gwendoliir changed everything, and she knew it. His explanation of the mate bond made her feel less obligated and more willing to give her heart to Finn—after all, it already belonged to him. She already belonged to him, just as he belonged to her, and to deny them what the gods intended for them both would be cruel. She could choose someone else, yes, but she didn’t want to. A part of her understood that though she might find happiness, perhaps even a little love with someone else, no one but Finn would make her feel complete.
Turning her back on her mate would be like turning her back on herself. He was a part of her, for better or worse, and he always would be—even in death. They were one soul, separated by their maker and sent into the world to search for each other. Pausing outside her door as they parted ways, she turned back over her shoulder to watch him. He glanced over, as if he felt her eyes on him, smiled at her and then disappeared. How had she not realized before just how lucky she was to have found him so easily?
She could not let him die, not under any circumstances, and not just because she needed him to help her defeat the Tid Ormen. It was coming to a point where she couldn’t imagine a life without him in it. A future without Finn was not a future she wanted to be a part of.
He turned toward his door, hand reaching to open and push it forward, but Lorelei took several steps across the hall until she arrived behind him and said, “Finn…”
Turning into her, the space between them was so slim she suddenly couldn’t tell where he began and she ended. She surged upward, put her arms around his neck
and kissed him, knocking him two steps backward and into the room behind them.
“Whoa.” One tentative hand braced her shoulder, the other eagerly pressed into the small of her back, holding her body closer to his. “Whoa, what’s this?”
“I…” She ducked her head down sheepishly, the heavy lids of her eyes cast over her gaze as she focused her attention on the buckle of his belt. “I just… I love you.”
“You…” he loosened his hand from her arm and brought it up to lift her chin so she couldn’t avoid his gaze. “You love me?”
“I do.”
“Since when?” he laughed. “What did the seer really say to you?”
“Nothing I didn’t already know in my heart. He just helped me see it more clearly, that’s all. I need you.”
Lowering his forehead to rest atop hers, he closed his eyes and let a slow breath escape through his nose. “You have me,” he muttered.
At her back, she heard a door open down the hall and did not need to look over shoulder to see Brendolowyn had emerged from his room. She felt his gaze on her, endured the unspoken bitterness their proximity incurred. She didn’t understand why; she only knew that was the way it had to be. She’d chosen, and no matter what happened, she would never, could never change her mind.
She loved Finn. He was a part of her in ways no one else would ever understand, and that was that.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Alanuuin awaited their descent in the foyer on the first floor of the seer’s estate. Brendolowyn stood with him, both of them silent. Lorelei was first to join them, loading food and provisions into her pack while they waited for Finn to come down.
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