“Yes. It’s a bit of a new development.”
“New since Asheville?”
“Yes.”
“New since meeting me, in other words.”
“I-I don’t know about that. My father just feels it would be a great way for me to prepare for this life.”
“And keep you away from the possibility of a different one.”
“What different one?”
“A life with—”
“Kei,” Griffin said as he turned the corner.
“Me maybe.”
She didn’t hear me finish the sentence. She was concentrating on Griffin as he walked toward us.
“Hey, sweetie.” He walked up and gave her a hug while he gave me a hostile glare. “Can I borrow you for a little bit?”
“Well, Cabot and I were in the middle of—”
“You won’t mind, will you, Cabot?” he asked. I read sarcasm in his voice, but Kei didn’t seem to notice. “She leaves tomorrow, and I won’t see her until I return to Gulu in February. You can’t blame me for wanting a few minutes alone with her?”
“No. I wouldn’t mind at all,” I lied.
I looked at Kei, expecting to read something on her face, but it was more blank than anything.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guy extend his hand and wait for me to shake it. I didn’t respond. I stood staring at her, hoping I could rewind time and erase his interruption. She avoided my glare and looked down at the ground.
“I’ll have you back in about an hour,” Griffin said.
She didn’t respond.
“Kei?” he asked.
“What?”
“Let’s go. No matter what was said at the table back there, it was nice to meet you, Cabot,” he said, attempting to shake my hand again.
I shook it. “You too.”
“Take good care of Kei on the trip back to the States. I’d like her to get back to me safe and sound.”
“I plan on taking very good care of her. Won’t let her out of my sight. She’ll be within arm’s length, if not on my arm, at all times. Trust me.”
His neck and jaw tightened. “I appreciate that,” he said, but I could tell he was not sincere.
Without a word, she followed him down the hall and out of the mission house. I went back to my room, laid down, and tried to keep from freaking out. It was one of the most agonizing close to two hours of my life, even more agonizing than when she broke her foot and left me sitting at home while she went to the hospital, almost as agonizing as waiting to hear if she’d survived her bout with malaria, but not nearly as agonizing as saying good-bye when she left me standing in Asheville.
Finally, I heard their voices as they walked past my window. I knew that Griffin planned for me to hear them. My room was in the back of the house. There was no reason for them to be walking back there, other than the fact that he wanted me to know they were there.
I pulled the curtain back and peered out the window at them. I figured if he wanted me to see them, I might as well honor his wishes.
They stood next to the outside kitchen and talked for several minutes, making no physical contact whatsoever, and then he finally kissed her, looked toward my window, and left.
When he was out of sight, I walked to the hallway and waited for her to come inside.
When she turned the corner, she seemed surprised to see me. “Cabot? You’re still up?”
“Yeah.”
I waved for her to join me and waited for her to get inside my room before shutting the door behind us.
“What was that?” I whispered but could hardly keep myself from screaming. My blood was practically boiling.
“What was what?”
“That! Is that what you call a snog? ’Cause if that’s a snog, then I’m glad it’s not what we do in America.”
“Were you spying on us?”
“Of course.”
“You had no right—”
“His arms were hanging at his side.”
“He wasn’t pawing all over me. So what?”
“So what? The guy is about to be away from you for two months!”
She crossed her arms and glared over at me. “And your point?”
“My point is that if you were mine and I was about to be away from you for two months, you wouldn’t be able to pry my hands or lips off your body ’til the second I had to board the plane. And trust me. I wouldn’t be kissing you like that.”
“Oh, bloody hell. That’s the biggest pile of rubbish I’ve ever heard. No wonder you’re such a wonderful actor. You completely overreact to everything.”
“I’m serious as a heart attack.”
“He was being respectful, Cabot.”
“Respectful? You can be respectful and still act like you give a crap.”
“Stop it.”
“Where on earth is the pain that two people who are supposedly dating should have when they’re about to be apart?”
“Stop.”
“Answer me. Because from what I just saw, he just gave cold fish a whole new meaning.”
“Stop.”
“Kei, I don’t even think he really cares—”
“He proposed.”
I reeled back like I’d been punched in the gut by a three-hundred-pound club bouncer. And I would know.
“He what?”
“He apologized for the way he’s acted and for trying to tell me what to do and who I should be. He wants what’s best for me. He does.”
I stood quiet and dumbfounded.
“He wants me to commit. He knows all about me, about my past…”
“Your past?”
“And he cares for me anyway. He wants to become engaged to be married sometime later this year.”
“Please tell me you said no.”
“I didn’t say no, but I didn’t say yes. I asked for some time to think and some time to consider my options.”
“What else did you tell him?”
“That I care about him and he seems perfect for me…”
“You’re about to tack a but on the end of that sentence, right?”
“But—”
“Thank God,” I whispered. “But what?”
“But I’m certainly not in love with him,” she said, starting to pace.
My shoulders relaxed.
“He told me that he would wait. He thinks my feelings will grow now that I know what he wants. He’s expecting an answer in a few months, once I return after the holidays and he returns from his trip.”
“But, Kei…you—”
“I shouldn’t be here, in your room and with the door closed. It’s considered highly inappropriate.”
“Then take a walk with me.”
“Where to?” she asked.
“Anywhere.”
We walked in silence until we reached the stadium where the team held a prayer vigil during my visit. It seemed appropriate. I was praying and praying that Kei wouldn’t ever accept Griffin’s proposal.
“So I’m curious,” I said as she climbed on to the wall to sit down.
“About what?”
“How did he propose?”
“I’m not sharing.”
“Did he get down on one knee?”
“I’m not sharing.”
“Come on. I’ve got to know.”
“Why?”
So I’ll know what I’m up against. “Just because.”
She hesitated, but eventually answered. “He didn’t get down on one knee.”
“He didn’t?”
“He did not.”
“What a tool.”
“I don’t know what a tool is, but I’m assuming that’s bad.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh dear,” she muttered.
“He’s a major tool. How did he do it, if he didn’t get down on one knee?”
“We were sitting at the table, and he just came out and asked.”
“He proposed sitting at a table? What a schmuck.”
“He was n
ervous. I don’t think he really thought it through.”
“Was it romantic?”
“Um…”
I grabbed her foot and gave it a shake. “Be honest.”
“It wasn’t the most romantic moment of my life, no. And I suppose that doesn’t say much for the effort seeing as how nothing romantic has every happened in my life.”
“Did he go all out and offer you an engagement ring and everything?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
She gave an embarrassed laugh and tried to jump off the wall, but I stopped her. “What did it look like?”
“It looked like an engagement ring. What do you mean, what did it look like?”
“Was it a diamond?”
“Yes.”
“Was it big or small?”
“Big or small? It depends on what you think is big and small.”
“Was it bigger than a bread crumb?”
She nodded. “It was bigger than a bread crumb.”
“A lot bigger?”
“Why are you asking me this?”
“I’m just curious. I didn’t know if you’d be against getting a nice engagement ring.”
“Why would I be against that?”
“I can see getting you a nice ring and then you turn around and say, ‘You know, I could feed an entire village for a year with the money you spent on this ring.’”
She shook her head. “I wouldn’t say that. It would ruin the moment.”
“So you’d accept a big ring?”
“I don’t need a big ring.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
“I guess it’s up to the man, right? Isn’t he the one who picks it out?”
“Sometimes couples shop for a ring together.”
“Then where’s the surprise?”
I shrugged.
“I’d rather be surprised and not get to pick.”
“Hmm. So Griffin surprised you?”
“Completely. I never thought anyone would ever ask me to marry him.”
I was completely shocked by her admission “What? Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s the truth. I never saw marriage in my future.”
“Why?”
“Long story. It’s not important.”
“It is if it’s something that makes you against marriage—”
“I didn’t say I was against marriage. I said I didn’t see it in my future. There’s a difference.”
I climbed on to the wall next to her and waited for her to continue. I hoped she’d just come out and tell me about her past.
“My mind doesn’t work that way,” she finally said.
“What way?”
“It doesn’t go there, to that place of thinking about someone as a possible mate or boyfriend, or whatever you call it in the States. I’ve never really let myself think about anyone like that.”
“Why?”
“I always assumed I wouldn’t ever have that type of life, so I never let myself hope for it and think about it being possible with someone. Like we talked about earlier today. I just never hoped for that.”
“Do you even notice when someone has feelings for you?”
“Nobody’s ever had feelings for me before, so I wouldn’t know.”
“Holy crap! You’re crazy! Griffin just asked you to marry him. And I—”
“Griffin doesn’t have feelings for me like that. Trust me. He knows we’re good for each other, and he’s in love with that, not me.”
“What about me?”
“What about you?”
“I’m here, in Uganda. I’m a world away from everything I know. There’s no part of you that wondered if I came here because I had feelings for you?”
“No. I understood you came to Uganda because you wanted to see Uganda.”
“You can’t be serious?” My voice traveled through the stadium, bounced off the opposite wall, and came right back to us, so she got my question twice.
“Cabot, you’re the Choice Male Hottie. You win surfboards, and your face is plastered all over weeklies.”
“My celebrity has never been an issue with you before. Why would it be about this?”
“Because it’s your reality. We can pretend it doesn’t exist while we’re alone. But as soon as you walk out the door, it’s there.”
“Okay. That might be true. But why would think that would keep me from being interested in you?”
“Because.”
“Because why?”
“Are you serious?” she asked with a laugh.
“Completely.”
“Cabot?”
“Kei.”
“Cabot, get serious,” she huffed.
“What, Kei?” I huffed right back.
“Are you delusional?”
“Delusional about what exactly?”
“Look around. Look at my life. You’ve lived it for three weeks. I live with no running water. I sleep on a three-inch piece of foam. I own no more than ten sets of clothing, I don’t wear makeup, and I wouldn’t know how to fix my hair if my life depended on it. The majority of the time, I’m covered in an inch of dirt and film on my skin, and I’ve never, ever painted my fingernails. You get paid to look good, not that it’s difficult for you to do. You’re practically a Greek god.”
My chest vibrated. It was the first time she’d actually admitted that she thought I was attractive. It was progress, maybe just a little bit, but it was progress.
“You stay in beautifully decorated hotel rooms, and you sleep on big, fluffy mattresses. You get facials and manicures, you wear tuxedos to events and nob your co-stars.”
There was that subject of nobbing again. It was an issue that she obviously couldn’t get over. Maybe we hadn’t made any progress after all.
“Like we’ve said before, we’re of two different worlds. Why would I ever believe you could want someone from mine?”
I jumped off the wall and stood in front of her. “Remember the time you got mad at me because I was making assumptions about you based on your parents being missionaries?”
“Of course.”
“You’re doing the same thing to me.”
“Am I?”
“You’re making assumptions about who I am as a person based on what I do for a living. All of those things you mentioned say nothing about who I am and what’s important to me. They don’t say anything about my heart and where it’s at. And for the record, I don’t nob my co-stars anymore. I haven’t since the day I got to Asheville. I already told you that.”
“Cabot, I—”
“I’m not finished.”
She shut her mouth. I placed my hands on either side of her on the wall and looked up at her.
“I think it’s hard for you to understand that all of those things you said about me don’t make me who I am because all of those things you mentioned about yourself are a direct reflection of who you are and what’s in your heart. You’re living out who you are. I’m not. Not yet. But I’m telling you right now, Kei, that my life in the future is going to reflect what is important to me. I don’t know exactly what it’s going to look like, but it will look different. My life and my heart are going to line up. Mark my words.”
She slid off the wall and stood in front of me. I didn’t take my hands off the wall, so we were within inches of each other.
“You’re perfect the way you are, Cabot. You don’t need to change anything.”
“Not perfect enough.”
“Why would you say that?”
I wanted to tell her that I knew I wasn’t good enough for her. But I also wanted to tell her that I could be, that I would be. If she could get over my past and the choices I’d made before we’d met, then we could be together and we could be happy. If only she could forgive my past.
“I’m not the man I need to be, not yet,” is what I actually managed to say.
“And what type of man is that?”
“A man worthy enough of the lo
ve of a woman like you.”
“You’re worthy of anyone’s love, Cabot. And really”—she laughed—“your goals should be much higher than a sod like myself. Perfection deserves perfection. And you, my dear, are perfection.”
“You are too.”
She ducked under one of my arms and walked the direction we’d come. “Trust me, Cabot. If you knew me, what I’ve done, you wouldn’t feel that way at all.”
“What? Your past?” I asked as I walked behind her. “Why don’t you just tell me what it is?”
“Like I said, it isn’t important.”
“If it’s important to you, then it’s important to me.”
“What’s important to me right now is that we get back to the house and get some rest. We’ve got a long trip ahead of us tomorrow.”
If I would’ve been leaving her behind, I would’ve forced her to talk to me, but we were going to be together for at least another week. We were going back to the place we’d started. We were going back to Asheville, and by the time we left, I had every intention of her being mine.
C H A P T E R
26
“We’re almost there. It’s going to be so different this time, what with everyone home. Are you ready for this?” Kei asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve enjoyed having a little time alone. I kind of wish nobody would barge in on it.”
“Well, they’re giving you the guest house again. You can spend most of your time there, and nobody will bother you.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I muttered.
“You’ve met Oliver and Mariah, so that shouldn’t be a problem. It’s Millie you’ve got to prepare yourself for. She’s one of a kind.”
“How?”
“She’s Southern, very Southern. She gossips like mad but hides it behind a prayer request or follows it with a, ‘Bless her heart,’ so it sounds like she’s concerned rather than like she just dished the dirt.”
“Okay. Sounds fun.”
“Oh, and she’s a kleptomaniac. But she only steals free stuff.”
“I don’t get it.”
“You will.”
The cab pulled into the driveway and pulled to a stop. Kei had opened the door and was about to jump out when I heard the front door open, followed by a, “Where’s my girl?”
Kei jumped out of the cab and ran into Oliver’s arms. He actually had tears in his eyes as he hugged her. I was shocked at his emotion. I had no idea that they were as close as they seemed.
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